Too Broke For Afterlife

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The lake lies quietly on this Sunday morning. The weather is cold enough to motivate most students to stay inside but today I have decided to not be one of them.

Alex wanted to visit, alone this time, without our parents. He sold it to me as a chance to check out my college to see if it's an option for him since he'll be starting next year. But I know that he really just wants to spend time with me. 

Greg, who I have become close friends with over the last few weeks, suggested that we could go fishing.

His dad taught him when he was younger and bought him equipment for his last birthday so they could go together. But now Greg's dad has been in the hospital for a few months, that makes it a bit harder.

Now Greg, Alex and I are sitting inside a small fisherboat that was tied to a wooden post next to the lake, a few minutes away from the small beach that us students use.

Alex had arrived yesterday already. It was awesome. I showed him around the campus, even introduced him to some of my professors, including Mr. Riley. He met Lynn, they got along great. Then Alex and I ordered some pizza and watched a movie on my laptop, followed with catching up until he almost fell asleep on my lap.

Something about my little brother makes me feel softer and lifts my mood. Like he is a vital part of me that is missing when we are not together.

He wasn't even grumpy when I woke him up at 7:30 am. Nope, he was excited.

Neither of us has ever been fishing before. The Jones' family isn't very into nature and doing outdoorsy things and if a time machine transported me and my little brother back into the stone age, we'd have no survival skills whatsoever and would get mauled by a mammoth within five minutes.

Luckily mammoths don't exist anymore and the biggest threat these days is getting cancer from eating too much convenience food.

But even if I got cancer, I'm still immortal. Immortal with a big decision in front of me. 

Stan asked me to take the position of Mayor of Heaven.

This is the biggest decision I'll ever have to make in my life. Asking a woman to marry me one day will be a piece of cake compared to this. 

Being the Mayor would give me eternal responsibility. Priscilla had been doing this job since the beginning of humanity. 

I'm not the kind of person you give responsibilities to. I'm great with deciding for myself, I'm as independent as the sun while everyone still seems to be moons circling around their planets.

But could I be the sun for all those planets and moons? Forever and ever and ever?

"Oi! I think I got one!"

Greg stands up and I watch how his line is moving through the water. He is holding onto the rod tightly.

"Nice!" Alex leans over curiously. I almost want to pull him back so he can't fall into the water but hold back.

This guy is almost 18 and I'm not his mom. I gotta chill.

"Is it a big one?" my brother asks.

"Don't know but it's definitely angry."

Whatever has gotten caught on the hook moves quickly and Greg has to put in 200% to make sure the line doesn't rip. 

Once the fish starts getting exhausted, Greg winds the line.

Finally, the fish pops out of the water. It's greenish grey and about 10 inches long.

"Wow!" I stare at the animal, deeply impressed. "Damn, Greg."

"Quick, take a pick."

Greg takes the fish off the hook and holds it still so it can't wriggle itself out of his hands. I eternalize the moment with the help of my phone camera.

"Okay and what n- DUDE!"

Greg has thrown the fish into my lap where it is now squirming like crazy.

I stare into its eye.

Greg and Alex are laughing their asses off. I hear a clicking sound and know that one of them snapped a pic.

"Get it off me!" I yell.

"Chill," Greg wheezes. "Just throw it into the water. Unless you wanna gut it and have it for lunch."

"Gross!"

I grab the fish and quickly throw it overboard.

I look at my wet pants, my legs are freezing.

"Psycho," I grumble as I take a towel and put it over my thighs.

"You should have seen your face."

I roll my eyes.

But it's all good fun.

<<<

Fishing isn't easy. That's my observation after today. We were out on the lake for another two hours but Greg only managed to catch one more fish, one similar to the first one (maybe it was even the same?) whereas Alex and I were unsuccessful. But everyone had fun anyway.

Fishing seems to be less about actually catching fish and more about getting a break, being out catching fresh air and, in our case, chatting with friends.

After we were cold enough to freeze water with our own hands and hungry enough to regret not gutting those two fish earlier, we went to the cafeteria where I paid for lasagna and hot chocolate. 

"This was a really good idea. Thanks dude," I said between two forks filled with melted cheese and ground meat.

"No prob. Thanks guys for joining me. Alex, you'll be visiting again soon?"

My brother had looked at me, like he was asking for permission. 

"You better," I mumbled.

Spending time with him was the most fun I had since… The most fun in…

I remembered when Isa and I went to that bar in Peru. I think that was equally fun. 

I kind of miss her. Contact has been quite little in the past few weeks. Of course she still checks in to see if I'm okay but I think she is busy with work.

After lunch and some Nintendo Witch, Alex had to leave again.

Before he got in his car, I pulled him into a very long hug.

I don't show affection that much but it felt like the right thing to do. Plus I wanted him to know how important he is to me.

"Drive safely, okay?"

"Yes, mom. You stay safe as well. And remember that…you know…you can call me. Whenever."

I nodded and then watched him drive away, into the slowly setting sun.

He left but a slither of him stayed. 

Now Lynn and I are sitting under the big tree near the dorms, listening to music. She is wearing my jacket, her head is leaning on my shoulder.

I stroke her dark hair as I enjoy this unfamiliar feeling of lightness.

"Oh, I forgot! How was your last session?" she asks.

Yes, I told Lynn about the psychiatrist and my…you know…problems. Saying the word is still hard but it's getting a bit easier each time I try.

I've been seeing a psychiatrist for about a week now. And although it is scary and uncomfortable, I regret I didn't take this step earlier.

"Good. He said that I'm doing well so far, with opening up and stuff. I'll start taking medication soon I think."

"That's really good to hear." She looks up at me, a smile on her lips. "I want you to be happy."

I look into Lynn's honest charcoal eyes and kiss her forehead.

"I want to be happy too."