Too Broke For Afterlife

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I stare at the blueprint in front of me. Although I don't understand much of it, the last drawing at the bottom shows something I have been trying desperately to forget.

Something that has been haunting me at night.

The machine.

I immediately recognized the big glass tube with the chair in the middle. 

Just a few weeks ago I myself sat there, was locked inside the apparatus and had to fight for my life. The fact both Parker and I made it out alive was a miracle. And at that moment I swore myself to never think about it again. 

I would start over. Erase those three months. Act like nothing ever happened. 

But now I realize that this nightmare hasn't ended yet. I'm still stuck inside of it.

And I'm running out of air.

Pressure. It is pressing my insides together, leaving my lungs empty.

I look up at Walter, my voice is thin. "Where did you get this from?"

"Uh…" His eyes fly over me, unable to stand still. "I made it."

My heart starts beating faster. My voice is now merely a whisper.

"What?" 

"What the fuck?" Parker yells. He jumps out of his chair and rushes over to Walter. Before the other man can react, Parker has already grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. 

"You're the rat who built that thing? To kill us?" He pushes him against the table and Walter stumbles. 

He looks terrified. "N-no, let me explain!"

"Explain what? I'll fucking end you!" 

Parker raises his hand, ready to throw a punch but Natasha quickly holds him back. She pulls his arms away. 

Parker tries to escape but her grip seems to be stronger.

"End him? How? We are androids, remember? Sure, you can kill the body but he doesn't feel pain. So calm your tits and sit down." 

"Let go of me, bitch! You don't even know what happened!"

They struggle to gain control, clawing at each other like wild animals. 

I follow their fight with slowing eyes. My heart is beating out of my chest.

Suddenly, the room seems to be free from oxygen. I am completely lost in a vacuum space.

My lungs are screaming, my vision is grainy. 

I can't breathe.

I have to get out of here. 

With shaking legs I slowly get up while holding onto the table. I see how Clemens turns around to me.

He says something but all I hear is my own heartbeat and the rushing blood.

'Help,' I mouth as I feel my grip loosen. 

The last thing I see through the searing black is how Natasha presses a gun against Parker's head.

Then I pass out.

<<<

The car dashboard is showing 2:12 pm and the mild sun is shining through the windows.

Against my expectations, Peru does not seem to be an unusually hot place and I realize that I probably should freshen up my geography knowledge.

Nevertheless, I am enjoying what I'm seeing. Green alnd yellow mark the landscape around the small town.

The radio is playing quietly in the background and Walter is tapping against the steering wheel, following the saucy rhythms.

When they had put me in a car together with this guy, I had obviously protested but Natasha and Clemens decided that it's his responsibility to get me medicine since he is the one who caused the riot. 

I argued that their logic is flawed. Forcing me to spend time with him would only cause me to pass out again. But they didn't listen.

I think they actually got annoyed with me, as if my panic attacks are my own fault and an inconvenience. How inconsiderate can someone be?

I doubt that I'm going to find new friends here.

"I think I owe you an explanation."

Walter doesn't look at me as he mumbles those words. He is scared.

I don't know what he is scared of but I won't complain. He can ignore me if he wants to. Makes it easier for me to ignore him as well.

"I don't think I want to hear it," I reply with my most monotone voice.

"It's really not what you think."

"We have to stop at a drugstore as well, I need some makeup." 

Walter sighs, trying to stir back to the original topic.

"Fine. But please listen. Yes, I helped build that machine and yes, I got Jasper to attack you but it was a big mistake. I deeply regret it."

"Oh thank you, that makes me feel so much better now!"

Walter falls silent and stares at the road. So do I. 

His quote on quote regret won't make what happened undone. I really don't want to talk to someone who thinks regret will fix anything.

It never has and never will.

But one question does burn on my tongue.

"Why did you do it?"

"Because…" He tries to find the right words. 

"They promised to send me to Heaven."

"Who?"

"Lucas. You know, that designer. And Satan."

"Satan?" I look at him, my eyebrows raised. I huff.

"You're trying to tell me that you made a deal with Satan?"

"Basically."

"Right." I shake my head but do wonder where this story will go. 

"So how was Satan involved in that psycho designer's plan?"

And why did he recruit Walter out of all people? So far, I haven't found anything special about him. Except for his scaredy-kat attitude.

"It wasn't Lucas' plan, Satan wanted us to build the Materializer."

"Materializer?"

"Yeah, that's what we called it. He wanted to have a machine that would materialize souls."

"Why?"

"Because...wait." 

Walter starts slowing down the car and I watch as we stop in front of a tiny pharmacy at the side of the narrow road. 

Then he turns to me.

"Okay what I'm about to say might sound a bit crazy but..."

"Oh, don't worry, you already sound like a lunatic. It can't get any worse than this."

Walter shakes his head. Then he looks into my eyes.

"Believe me, it can."