Too Broke For Afterlife

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"I love this song!" 

The man in the booth next to us starts tapping on the table, completely messing up the rhythm of the cheesy country tune.

I don't recognize the artist, I've never been a fan of country music and right now I'm really not in the mood to get funky.

Since leaving Parker's house none of my companions have mentioned how we are going to save him and I'm starting to believe that his life isn't on their agenda anymore. 

The man starts whistling, producing more air flow than sound. I let my head fall into my hands and groan louder than intended.

"Make him shut up," I press through my teeth but my companions are unimpressed.

"Isabella, you seem stressed," is all Clemens says.

Thank you, captain obvious. 

"Of course I am!" I stare at him. Then I lower my voice. "Parker got sucked into the depths of Hell and all we are doing is sitting in a diner and eating fries? You guys are robots, you shouldn't even eat!"

Nox takes a long sip from her milkshake while looking at me. "That didn't stop you when you were a robot. You ate pussy like you were about to die - oh wait!" She grins.

Usually I would voice my opinion on such a crude and inappropriate joke but instead I just roll my eyes. "I can't even with you fucktards."

"That's funny. Aren't you supposed to be the eloquent worldly-wise socialite? You have been talking and acting like a sailor lately."

I ignore the comment and instead stare at the sugar other guests must have spilled earlier. It looks an wful lot like the salt we used. Before Parker... Stop thinking about that! 

"Your vocabulary seems to be expanding - but in the wrong direction."

"Shut up already."

I don't know why I'm starting to use words like fucktard either. Maybe that's just a sign of me missing my friends. Parker can be quite blunt with his words and Judy isn't always a lady either.

I used to prefer being mature and enjoying such verbal freeness through others but now I'm at a point where I can't be bothered anymore. 

I'm frustrated, depressed and scared. I'd rather express my emotions than act pseudo eloquent. 

I silently grab one of Walter's fries and stick it into my mouth. I don't want to eat but the munching is familiar. A base instinct that pulls me back onto the ground. 

Nox watches me. I can't tell what I see in her eyes but it's definitely not welcoming. 

She leans back and crosses her slender arms. 

"Face it, Isabella. All it needed for you to cave in was losing your girlfriend. Now you look awful, act like a baby and are hooked on pills. So don't you dare look down on us. You're not better, I'd like to think it's actually quite the opposite."

The words echo in my head as I try to figure out how to react. What she says is true. But not everything that's true should be said out loud.

And that's not manners, that's basic common knowledge. 

"I hate you." I get up from my chair. Anger starts bubbling inside of me. And with it, helpless frustration. 

"You guys basically killed my friend and now act like nothing ever happened!"

"You were there, princess. We did it together. You were sitting around the pentagram like everyone else."

I shake my head hecticly, not wanting to accept that. "But I was unaware of what was actually going to happen. You lured me into a trap like some mouse and now Parker might be dead. So guess what - I'm out." I throw my arms up in the air. 

Nox snorts. "Of course, sure. Where do you want to go? Back to New York and act like nothing ever happened?"

"Get lost."

I take a last look at her. Walter. And Clemens. Knowing I won't miss any of these faces. 

Then I turn around and make my way out of the diner.

Surprisingly, nobody follows me.

Of course not, why would they? They don't care. They never did. They got what they wanted, the two crystals. I've done my job here. And now I'm useless for them. Both Parker and I were merely means to an end. So worthless that even our deaths wouldn't make them bat a single lash. Bunch of psychopaths. 

"Excuse me!" I walk over to an older man who is about to get into his truck and put on my most charming smile.

"I really need a ride. Are you going past the airport by any chance?"

<<<

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I am staring at my hands, the awkward silence is way too heavy.

I really don't like how this just went down. I feel horrible about how both Isabella and Parker had to suffer from the situation. How we made them feel. 

What if she is right and Parker is...? Dead? Would I be able to live with that guilt? 

I stare at the fries on my plate, suddenly with no appetite whatsoever. 

Finally, Clemens speaks up.

"So...what do we do now? Don't we need her for the next phase?"

Nox doesn't seem bothered at all, she calmly slurps her milkshake.

"Of course we do but let her have her five minutes. She is probably on her period or just wanting to be a drama queen."

"You really didn't have to push that far," I mumble to myself and Nox' head shoots around.

"What did you just say?" Her voice is merely a hissing and her eyes narrow dangerously.

But I take a deep breath. No more hiding.

"I said: You really didn't have to push that far. You basically begged for her to hate us."

The beating of my imaginary heart tells me that I'm scared of Nox' reaction. But what can she do? Kill me? I'm already dead. Unfriend me? I'd actually be thankful for that. 

Nox leans forward slowly and pierces her eyes into mine. 

"Do not tell me what to do. Ever."

"Why? Why do I have to do anything you tell me? We agreed to be equal but you have been acting like the biggest dictator. What makes you think you're better than us?"

"Because I am. And you are incompetent."

I stare at her in disbelief. Did she really just say that? Then I look at Clemens.

"Dude?"

He seems unsure as to what to say and shrugs his shoulders.

"She does have a point. You were the one who formed our group but showed no leading qualities whatsoever. Somebody has to fill that role. Nox has been doing a fabulous job, don't you agree?" 

I can't believe what I'm hearing and stare at the brown table. 

"You guys are walking on very thin ice right now."

Nox laughs. "Is that a threat, little boy? You can get as mad as you want, I'm not scared of you. Okay? I know you, Walter. You will eventually give in anyway." 

I hesitate. 

Is this really the image I'm giving off?Insecure, naive and manipulatable?

Is this really how I want to be seen by others? Is this how I want to be treated?

No. That is my answer. 

"As you said, Clemens, I formed the group. Because I'm the one who had all the information. If you want to bully me out, then you'll be on your own and basically helpless."

Clemens sighs. "Nobody wants to bully y-" 

"No, no. Let him spin his fairytale."

Nox grins. "You really think you're that important? For your information, I know more than you ever will. I don't need you, okay? And neither does Clemens. You're more of a burden than a revelation."

"I see."

I slowly lean back in my chair. Then I clear my throat.

"I think I need a break from all this. I need time to think."

"Oh, the princess needs time! Of course! I'll tell Satan to wait with destroying the world until you feel better," Nox mocks me and laughs dryly. 

And that exactly is my breaking point. She just pushed that tiny bit too far. 

"You know what? You're a bitch." I get up, ready to follow Isabella and just leave. Leave them alone with their awful personalities. Nox says she doesn't need me but it's actually the other way around. If I wanted to, I could save the entire world myself. I know I can.

The little bell above the door rips me out of my plans and when I see who walks through, my heart stops - was it still beating. 

"Oh my god."

I fall back into my seat and watch Parker, alive and well, as he quickly walks over to us. His face is nervous, I don't think I've ever seen him express emotions like that before. 

Parker grabs a chair and pulls it over to our table.

Once he is sitting, he takes a deep breath, rubbing his face.

"Okay guys, you won't believe what I'm about to tell you."