Too Broke For Afterlife

????????????????????????

It's the next evening and Walter hasn't replied to my messages yet but I'm used to that. Usually I only hear from him once there is a new task at hand.

I just wish he could hurry up a bit so that I don't get my library card taken away.

Now I'm sitting on my bed, flicking through the pages without understanding really anything. I'm only using this book as a distraction from the exam I should be studying for.

But studying is boring and nobody likes doing boring things. It's just natural.

My normal phone buzzes and the screen lights up to show a message from Michael.

Michael

9:34pm

So many girls and beer, ur missing out on smth

I roll my eyes and turn off the screen.

Why can't I be friends with a normal person?

Oh right, because I'm not normal either.

But I have to admit that I'm close to death caused by boredom. Maybe going outside doesn't sound so bad afterall.

Of course I won't be going to the party but near the lake where Danny is supposedly throwing out, just outside of college grounds, there is a big forest I like to stroll through whenever I need some peace and quiet.

It's pretty dark outside but who needs to see when you just want to think?

I sluggishly get up from my bed and put on my trainers. Then I grab the dark blue windbreaker and my keys.

Let's go for a little walk.

The hallway is quiet. Usually with the thin doors you can overhear any conversation but everyone seems to be at the lake right now.

Damn. Am I really that boring?

I pass the community room and notice that the light is turned on. 

I peak through the open door and see how Greg is sitting on one of the chairs, playing on his Ninetendo Witch. 

"Hey bro."

He looks up. "Sup. Going to the party?"

"Nah, I just wanted to get some fresh air. Why are you here alone?"

Greg sighs. "This is the only time I can play without being interrupted. Everyone always wants to mess with my island."

"Have you unlocked the coffee shop yet?"

"Almost."

"Nice." I nod and then turn away.

"See you around."

"Yup."

I make my way out of the dorms as fast as possible to avoid any further conversations and step into the cold night.

Instinctively, I pull the windbreaker tighter around my body as the hair on my arms shoots up.

I look up at the sky and a fat, white moon stares back at me.

A bird flies past it and I watch the small black wings swinging rhythmically in the dark.

Somewhere in the distance I hear people laughing and deep beats so I guess that's the party I should be avoiding.

I cross the basketball field and make my way through the different buildings until I reach the area where the bushes start growing.

They are hiding the fence behind which the forest lies.

I fight my way through the undergrowth, the branches grabbing my clothes. But it's fine, as long as I avoid that one-

"Dammit!"

Of course I had to run right into the thorns.

I rip myself free from them but feel how they have already made their way through the denim, attacking my skin.

"F*cking shit balls."

I throw myself over the hip-high fence and take out my phone to turn on the flashlight.

Pointing it at my knee, I can see the hole in my pants and three thin lines of blood.

"Good job, Parker. Fantastic."

I struggle to my feet and sigh. 

This relaxing walk already started differently than expected. 

I walk through the grass until I reach the small foot path wriggling through the trees.

With a deep breath, I take in the cold fresh air and try to relax for a minute.

Relaxing has been hard lately.

Sure, not much has been going on. I've started college, yes, but that's nothing super exciting for me.

I think the stress comes from the direction my life has taken. First Afterlife, then Hell. And I know that it'S not over yet.

I mean, I'm alive and on Earth but something tells me that this moment won't last. 

And that makes me nervous. I'm basically waiting on judgement day.

I don't know when it's going to happen but it will and that uncertainty makes it impossible for me to take a breather and just relax.

Who knows, I could die right this second and-

"The vampire!"

Somebody jumps out of the trees and body slams me to the ground.

I let out an oomph as a good 300 pounds presses me into the dirt.

"Get out your stakes and ram them into his heart while I hold him down!"

See what I mean?

I could die today. 

And apparently I will.

I lie there in apathy as some dude leans over, half his face covered with cloth. Still, I smell the alcohol.

"Wait. No guys! That's just Parker!"

He pulls down the scarf and I recognize Michael.

"Sorry dude."

He pulls me up and I try to stand with my ribs aching.

I look at the big guy who had thrown me to the ground but his face is unfamiliar to me.

So is the rest of the group.

I'm surrounded by 3 men in black cloaks, all looking pretty annoyed.

I sigh in defeatment.

"What is this all about?"

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" a tall guy snaps back at me. 

"This is only for brave people."

"I'm braver than all you shits combined."

They start laughing at my statement.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, because I don't fear death."

"Oooh! Did you hear that? Parker isn't scared of death! Sure, it's easy to say that now but once you meet a real vampire, you will change your mind."

Okay since when are vampires trendy again? Didn't we leave that behind us after Triplelight? Those movies were awful enough, my ex-girlfriend even forced me to watch them with her. One of the reasons why we broke up. What sane person would voluntarily date someone who is into vampires? 

"Wait, are you bleeding?"

Michael kneels down to inspect my leg.

"Yeah but it's fine, just some tho-"

"This is perfect! Guys! He is bleeding!"

Suddenly everyone stares at my shin and I grow more and more uncomfortable.

"Okay, you guys have fun. I'll go take a walk."

But the big dude grabs my arm.

"No! We need you! You can help us lure in the vampire. And then we'll kill him."

I stare at him for a second. Then I look at the others.

"You guys are drunk. Vampires don't exist. Okay? Go to bed."

I try to free myself once again but they won't let me. The tall dude chuckles.

"You haven't heard the rumours, have you? They say there is a vampire hiding in that small cabin in the woods. And at night he comes out and drinks sheep blood. We actually saw him just a few minutes ago in the woods."

"We don't have any sheep here."

"Because he kills them."

I sigh. Why am I trying to fight the logic of drunk guys? That'S almost just as dumb.

"Sure, have fun. I'll go to bed."

"No!"

Michael jumps in front of me and grabs my shoulders.

"We have to save the animals! Don't be so heartless."

"Then why don't you cut your pinky off and do it yourself?"

The tall guy shakes his head. "Because we have alcohol in our blood, duh! He will smell that!"

I can't believe what I'm hearing.

"So the fact I didn't go to the party led to me playing decody for a vampire?"

"Yes."

Great.

Now I wish I had never given up alcohol. But it's too late.

"Fine. I will go to that shed with you and prove to you that there is no such thing as a vampire. And then you'll leave me alone! Got it?"

Tall boy smiles. "Whatever you say."

<<<

The shed is merely an old tin hut and I doubt any vampire would voluntarily choose this place as their hideout.

Against my protest, the group has given me a black cloak and put a garlic necklace around my neck. Despite not being cut or peeled, the bulbs smell awfully and I try to understand how this can make any sense.

I'm supposed to attract the vampire with my blood...yet scare him away?

But since vampires aren't actually a thing I try to not break my head over it.

"Should we knock?" Michael asks.

The big guy, whose name seems to be Benny, grunts.

"No but I'd like to knock some sense into you."

"Good one."

"Ssh!"

I ignore the bickering.

"Okay, I'll go inside now."

"Scream if you need help."

I side-eye Michael.

"Sure."

When I push the door open, the others gasp and I quickly throw it shut behind me to get a break from them.

The moon light shines through the window and lets me see that the tin hut is indeed empty.

Of course. What else did you expect?

I'm about to leave again when I feel something buzzing in my pocket.

It's not my phone, no.

I pull out the silver teleportation device and watch how the LED lights up the button.

I know what you're thinking: Pretty reckless to just carry that thing in your pants. But if there is one strength I have it's that I hardly ever lose things.

My brother in that Disheyland story doesn't count.

What now? The others are waiting outside but this is the signal I have been waiting for.

Walter is trying to contact me. Finally. 

I contemplate what to do for a few seconds but the longer I wait, the louder the buzzing gets.

Somebody knocks against the door.

"Parker? You okay? Do you see the vampire?"

No, nevermind. I can't deal with this shit any second longer.

And so I push the button.