Too Broke For Afterlife

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The train had left Heaven Main Station with just the 4 of us on board. 

Right after sitting down, we were able to choose our destination via touchscreens built into the armrests I'd each chair to make sure the train won't have to stop at all 50 stations.

Like a small child in an elevator I was tempted to highlight as many stops as possible but I knew that we were in a hurry. I may be dead and in Heaven but that doesn't save me from getting beat up by my travel companions.

Right now we are busy staring out of the large windows, gawking at the scenery. 

Everything is blue, from vibrant pastels to dusty grey. There is no floor beneath us, only the railway. We are literally flying through the sky.

Only once the train nears a station, land paints itself into the air. Blue turns into green, brown and yellow and white, we are going through tunnels and up hills, along coasts and down bridges until we are back to nothing.

The train is going way too fast to properly look at the different worlds but I can make out lots of booming cities as well as enchanted forests. 

Urban thugs and goblin lovers seem to be equally busy creating their dream homes in a place where nothing seems to be impossible. 

If I could create my own world, what would it look like? I lean against the glass as I think. But nothing comes to my mind.

I think the difference between me and those people getting creative is that they have something they are passionate about - may it be shooter games or fantasy novels. May it be the dream of establishing their own kingdom or a mighty pizza empire. I on the other hand pretty much feel neutral towards everything.

I don't have any interests. I'm not even interested in women anymore.

Oh my god.

Am I...boring?

"Everything okay?"

I look up at Isabella as yet another flower field passes by.

"I think I'm having an existential crisis," I mumble and look back out the window. 

She sits down next to me.

"I'm not surprised, you are basically experiencing death right now. One day you will be back here."

"I doubt I'll ever make it to Heaven. I'm a karma catastrophe after all."

Isa chuckles. "Well, when you're stuck on Earth as a ghost, don't dare come haunt me."

"You think I'm going to die before you?" I snort at the thought.

"Yes, I plan to live forever."

I turn over to her. Isa smiles smugly.

"Botox keeps your face young but not your heart."

"Is it that obvious?" She grabs her cheeks in shock. "Can you tell the difference? I thought it was subtle."

"I'm joking. Relax. You look great." 

She punches my arm. "Not funny."

An announcement interrupts our little conversation. "Next stop: San Andy Train Station. Doors will open on the right."

I jump up from my seat and see Walter rushes towards me. "How long was that? 10 minutes? What an amazing speed. If I could find out what type of fuel they are using..."

"Yeah, sure." I pat his shoulder and then walk over to Judy to shake her awake.

I don't know how she managed to fall asleep within ten minutes, especially considering that she is no longer a human and doesn't need rest. But maybe her spirit was just exhausted. Judy has seemed pretty tired lately so I don't blame her. 

The train starts slowing down as we enter a new world.

It is yet another mega city, surrounded by water. The rails cross a river via a tall bridge that reminds me a bit of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. I had always wanted to go when I was younger but with how much I've already told you about my family, you should be able to figure that this dream never came true.

Maybe once I'm back on Earth I'll take Alex and we'll go on a road trip down the East coast. F*ck college. Life's too short to chase a degree. 

"San Andy. Enjoy your stay."

The train stops and a few seconds later the doors open with a huff. 

I pull groggy Judy with me and we step into a very sketchy looking train station. 

There are only two platforms one could use, all I can see is exposed orange bricks and the walls are covered in graffiti. 

Bring back Liberty one reads. The others are too messy to make out any words. 

"If this looks anything like the real game, I'll be ecstatic," I exclaim. For the first time today, a smile makes its way onto my face.

"You play video games?" Judy looks at me surprised. "I never knew."

"Yeah, I used to. A friend of mine had a GameStation. We skipped classes to play. Good old times."

I was never good at games but anything is better than English literature.

Maybe that's what my own world would look like - the ultimate skipping school paradise! I have little talents but was always the best at that.

Arcades with pool tables, burger shops, a huge cinema. I could even grow some weed.

Speaking of weed, drugs seem to be pretty common in San Andy. As soon as we leave the train station, a wave of marihuana hits us and I spot a bunch of empty beer cans next to the entrance.

"Wow. This is...amazing," Isabella presses out between her teeth. She seems tense.

"Oh, come on. As if you've never taken drugs! You weren't always a grandma."

Her flat palm hits the back of my head. "Watch what you say, youngling. I'm hardly old enough to be your mom. And no, I've never taken drugs."

"Not even a little bit?" I sigh playfully. "And I thought I was the boring one."

We start walking down the street and I look around for any signs telling us where we should be going.

And yes, there are a lot of signs - made of plastic, nailed against trees or highlighted with neon strips. But none of the directions give me any hint to where Nox and Clemens might be. 

"What now?" Judy asks. "Where do we go?"

"Let's think for a second." Walter rubs his chin as he walks in a circle, taking in everything around us.

"When you're in a computer game and you have to find someone, what do you do?"

That's not a bad idea, to approach this situation like a game. Afterall, the city was modeled accordingly.

Walter continues by answering his own question. "Either you have an interactive map that tells you where to go or you speak to an NPC that gets around a lot and knows most people. So either we find one of those or look for a map."

I think about the decision for a bit as the others start discussing our possibilities.

My eyes glide along the house front on the other side of the road. This area looks pretty dirty, are we in the ghetto? Is it still appropriate to even use that word?

What I'm trying to say is that this is not the part of town I'd usually hang out at. There's graffiti everywhere, some buildings have smashed windows and in the distance I can hear police sirens. But maybe that is exactly what will help us today.

"Crazy thought but a person who gets around a lot and knows all the gossip...what about her?"

I point at a young woman standing at the side of the road. She is wearing a short skirt, cropped tank top and her black hair is long and straight. Right now she is smoking a cigarette as she is watching the cars drive by.

"Is that a..."

"It's a hooker," I finish Isabella's sentence. "They tend to know a lot of people and when they exist in video games they usually play an important role for side quests and stuff."

"I don't want to know what those side quests look like," Isa mumbles but I ignore the comment.

Instead, I clap my hands. "So, who is gonna go talk to her? I vote for Judy, she is the most trustworthy."

"Me?" She hisses: "Forget it. It was your idea so you go talk to her."

"Yeah, right." I roll my eyes. 

The last time I spoke to a prostitute was an old friend's 18th birthday. It was Ronny, a 30 year-old redhead who had suddenly turned up at the party. Of course I didn't do anything with her except that we danced for a few minutes.

I know, I know. I don't usually dance, but that night I did.

Ronny was actually pretty funny and chill, she had something mothery about her. Good old times. 

Hm. So maybe talking to prostitutes isn't as tough as I tell myself? Maybe that chick with the mini skirt will be cool as well. 

Let's hope.

Not like we have a choice. 

"Alright, fine.. I'll go talk to her."