Too Broke For Afterlife

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The girl doesn't look up as I'm approaching, she is checking her manicured nails instead. 

I stop next to her and clear my throat. She doesn't move.

"Blowjobs are 50, anal 80."

"Okay."

How do you respond to that?

I see the bag hanging over her shoulder. Must be designer.

"You seem to make a lot of money with this."

"Money?" Finally she looks at me. "You pay with KP of course. What do I need money for?"

"Well, what do you need KP for?"

She ignores the question as she impatiently rolls her painted eyes.

"So, what do you want? I don't have forever."

Okay, this girl is nothing like Ronny. She is a bitch.

Great.

"I'm not interested in your service, I've got a question."

"What question? I'm not the helpdesk. Get lost."

She waves me away with her hand like a fly. 

I turn around to my friends and shrug my shoulders. Judy shakes her head, as if she knew that I'd fail. Okay, I won't give her that satisfaction.

I turn back to the hooker.

"You know a lot of people around here, right?"

"I do. Why? Are you a reporter?"

"What? No! I'm looking for some friends, maybe you know where they are."

The girl snorts. "I probably do but I won't tell you for free."

Oh boy. This sounds like the beginning of a really bad movie.

"What do you want? I won't join your prostitution ring."

The girl shoots me a death glare and then rolls her eyes again.

"You're a pretty boy, you'd make a lot. But no, I need you to be my driver. Mine didn't turn up today which is why I'm standing around here like an idiot. Drive me to some hot spots and I'll answer your question. Plus, you'll get a reward."

"A reward, huh? What is this, a quest?"

"A side quest. You can view all the quests in the comic book store down the street."

"Are you an NPC?"

She doesn't answer. Dead giveaway.

Okay. We are stuck inside a computer game. San Andy seems to be a real life copy of Great Theft Automatic. 

But that also tells me that this woman probably does know where Nox and Clemens are, else I wouldn't have triggered this side quest.

This is my chance.

"Where do I get a car from?"

"That's your problem, not mine."

Ugh.

I look around. There is a car standing right next to us, a red Farreri.

And...I can see the ignition key.

Coincidence? I think not!

I pull on the door but the car seems to be locked.

I guess whoever left it here just jumped out quickly and planned to come right back. Still, how careless can one be? It's a freaking Farreri after all!

I look around for something I can use the window but the nearest help seems to be bricks lying next to the train station.

"Be right back."

I sprint across the road, barely dodging  a van and jog over to my friends.

They look at me confused.

"So?" Isa asks. "What did she say?"

"All of this is a game. I have to complete a quest first before she tells me. I don't know how long I'll be gone. Let's meet at…"

I look around to spot any notable building but there are a lot.

"Let's meet at the casino."

"No," Isabella protests but I ignore it and instead pick up one of the bricks.

"See you guys," I yell as I run back to my prostitute. 

She is tapping her foot impatiently. 

"Finally!"

The car owner hasn't returned yet and I lift the rock to smash it against the window.

The glass clangs loudly and I stick my arm through to unlock the door.

Because I'm a robot I can't even feel how the shards dig themselves into my spot and only notice the consequences of my carelessness once red fake blood dyes my white hoodie.

"F*ck."

The hooker opens the other door and sits down on the passenger seat. "Don't bleed onto me."

I turn the key, the engine starts howling and I stare at the steering wheel.

Now what?

"Uhm..."

"You do know how to drive, right?"

"No..."

If you're someone who believes in the fabricated tale that every American teenager gets a car for their 16th birthday, then newsflash - that's far from the truth.

My parents weren't able to afford one or the driving lessons but my dad had offered to teach me a bit in his own car.

I'm usually pretty chill but that experience was terrifying. Before I even opened the door I already saw us crash against the next best tree. So I noped out.

"I'll get a car when I need one," was what I said and that has been my plan ever since.

'Needing' here is a very lose term. I do need a car to get from A to B but thanks to parents and friends I never 'needed' one on my own even though they probably would disagree.

With the amount of hours I spent being driven around by others, I today owe several people my firstborn.

"Jesus f*cking Christ, okay. Press that pedal for driving and the other one to stop. I'll take care of the gear knob."

"Okay."

Sounds like an awful plan but what choice do I have? I doubt any of the others can drive, except for Judy maybe and not a million hungry wolves could force her into this car.

My foot presses the gas pedal as the hooker's hand handles the gear.

And all of a sudden, we are moving. Oh God.

With the steering wheel I maneuver us onto the street and-

"LOOK OUT!"

I ram my foot into the brake as a car shoots past us, almost scraping against the metal.

"F*ck, you gotta look where you're going! Don't kill me!"

"Okay, okay, calm down."

I check the little mirror to see if the road is clear and then continue.

There is no heart that could start beating faster but my head is in shock nonetheless. 

Why did I agree to this? What am I doing here?

I have done a lot of stupid things in my life but this trip is quickly climbing to the top.

"Okay, you gotta drive me down south to the pier. Turn left."

I slowly turn, somebody honks behind me.

"I hope you're not in a rush," I joke but the woman huffs angrily.

I try to lift the mood. "So, what's your name?"

"Kennedy."

"I'm Parker."

"And I didn't ask."

What a sweetheart. 

After a few minutes of silence, I dare to slightly increase the driving speed from sloth to snail. 

The city changes. Before it looked like a post-apocalyptic Detroit, now it feels more like we are driving through downtown LA. There are a lot of hip shops and cafés at the side of the road and I once again catch myself wishing I could turn this trip into a vacation instead of being on a mission. 

I didn't realize how much everything stressed me. The days flew by, I hardly had any time to think and instead focused completely on the tasks at hand. But right now that space is coming back to me and with it the exhaustion.

Any vacation would be more than welcome right now, no matter if it's a day trip or a three month getaway.

"You should have turned right there."

"Oh." I turn to the road I just missed.

"Should I go back?"

"No! Just take the next one. Jeez. You're even more incompetent than the last guy."

Kennedy pulls her phone out of her purse and starts typing.

"What guy?"

"No questions! First you drive me, then we'll talk."

I sigh.

How come every woman I meet is crazy in some way?

First it was Kira. Then Isabella. Judy isn't sane either. And Nox? She is a straight up psychopath. That ghost at the graveyard was just as much of a lunatic. And now Kennedy.

I'm ready to just become a monk and move into the next best monastery. I'm sure Heaven has a world like that.

Just imagine: Far away from society, just me and some other monks. We don't talk to each other, we just grow some food and then pray. I'd have to get into religion first but considering the beautiful life that comes with it, I'm willing to sacrifice my standards. 

At the horizon, the sea appears and I can spot the pier. 

When was the last time I was at a beach? 10 years maybe? Driving towards the water, the houses thin out and a fresh breeze glides through the smashed window. If only I could smell it. But taste and smell are the two senses you have to give up when becoming a robot.

"Okay, you can stop the car here. I'll be back in like an hour."

"An hour?" I stare at her. "And what am I supposed to do?"

Kennedy grabs her handbag. "Do I care? Just wait here."

Then she leaves the car.