Trapped In Hisstory

"Seriously??? Am I hearing this right?" Aloy asked with a bewildered look on his face, but at the same time, he was smiling like a fool.

I did not answer and just closed my eyes as I lay down on the ground. He also lied down beside me, resting on the hands behind his head. "Heh, to think that I would hear the word 'friend' come out of your mouth...and referring to another person other than me." he said and chuckled.

I sighed, "It was your idea for me to become her friend." 

"Nuh-uh! I only said that I want to befriend her, but for you to become friends with her was your own choice." he said and smirked.

I did not answer since he was right; it was my choice. But I wonder why I made that choice, when it would have been all right if I did not.

I opened my eyes and turned my head to the side to look at Aloy, who was staring at the sky with a smile. That smile...I sometimes wonder how a person with such a precious smile could exist. A smile of a person who seemed as if he had no problems or worries in life.

I do not know much about Aloy's life, but I am sure he has plenty of problems and bad memories, even so he could manage to show that kind of smile to others and hide his own pain. A person overflowing with kindness like him does not deserve to live in this cruel and dirty world. The world was not worthy to have someone like Aloy.

"Why…"

Aloy turned his head in my direction and both of us looked at each other, "Hmm? What is it?"

Why did you want to become my friend? That was what I wanted to ask him. 

Other people approach me because of my clan, my family. I thought that Aloy approached me first because of the same reason, but no matter how many times I refused or ignored him, he still kept appearing in front of me all of a sudden. He was so persistent and stuck beside me to the point that there were times where I was the one running away from him.

Until I became so used to having him near me and I knew that his intentions were not bad. Whenever I went away, I secretly looked back to see whether he was following me again. I started waiting for him to appear and whenever that happened; I felt a strange feeling called happiness.

That was probably why I felt weird when he said he wanted to befriend that girl, that little spider. I thought that I would never see his smile again once he stopped hanging out with me. 

After all, no matter how great a person is to you, they will soon leave your side. No one stays forever.

"Alec? Are you all right?" he asked when I was not saying anything, I snapped out of my thoughts and averted my gaze, "Yes." I answered.

"You did not continue your words. What do you mean why?" he asked.

"...Why did you want to become friends with Phoneutria Fera?" I asked. This was not about me, of course. As if I could ask the question that I first had in my mind. But it was all right since I am also curious as to why he approached Fera. "Is it because of pity? Is it because of what she went through? Or did you think she was interesting?" I asked.

Even though I was not looking at Aloy, I could feel the stare he was giving me amidst the silence. "...What about you? Why did you decide to accept her as your friend?" he asked.

That was not fair. I was the first to ask a question. To be honest, I have no idea why I said that I could be friends with her. If I ask myself the same question I told Aloy, what would be the answer? Is it because of pity?

"...I do not know. I cannot answer your question, unfortunately." I responded. No matter how hard I think, I cannot find out the reason behind that decision.

Aloy laughed, "What an answer, what if I answered you the same way? What if I say that I also do not know?" he said, and I said nothing because it was my fault that I could not think of a better response.

He rose up from the ground and sat while stretching his arms. After that, he turned his head and looked down at me with the same smile that seemed to freeze me in my spot, unable to take my eyes off of it. I felt envious, probably even if I smiled, it would not be the same as his.

"The reason why I wanted to become friends with her...was because I saw you in her."

Saw me in her? How so? Because we both do not have friends?

"I am sure you are thinking about why I chose you two as friends. Given my personality, I can become friends with everyone." he said.

That was exactly why I was confused. You can have everyone as your friend, yet why…

"But I do not want to leave you alone. The moment I saw you, I kept staring at you in silence and I thought, 'This guy must become my friend no matter what.'" he said and laughed.

"I saw many kids wanting to be your friend, but you ignored them and refused to be with them," he said. "I know it is because you think your family is the reason why they want to befriend you."

"But you will never be able to live your whole life without having any friends. I am now your first and the best friend you have, sooner or later you will have more." 

So what if I do not get to have other friends forever? You are the only one I need beside me, Aloy. You are my only friend.

I felt something warm in my face and saw Aloy's hand on my cheeks, caressing it as he looked in my eyes, "The reason why I saw you in Fera, was because you two have the same eyes."

"I have never seen eyes as lonely as yours. Whenever I look at it, I cannot seem to leave and do nothing."

"I wanted to be your friend, hoping to lessen the loneliness you feel."

This strange feeling again. My heart felt like it was being squeezed tight as I listened to his words. Lessen the loneliness, you say? You have already done so, so please...never leave my side.

I sat down and hugged Aloy, startling him. He was surprised by my sudden embrace, probably cannot believe that his silent friend would ever do such a thing. He laughed and hugged me back to the point that I had difficulty in breathing. Was it because I hugged him tight, so he hugged me even tighter? So competitive.

"Promise me you will never leave me..." I said.

There was a short silence before he whispered, "I promise..."

I wanted to remain in that position forever. I did not want to let go of him; I had a sudden feeling that I should never let go of him right now because I felt like one day he would disappear and I would never have him in my arms again.

As I had him in my embrace, I raised my gaze up to the sky. The blue sky that we used to love looking at…turned red.

And all the clans of Animalia Tribe were showered with blood.

"ATTACK! WIPE THEM ALL OUT!"

"GET THEM!"

"LYNCAS!"

"LUPUS!"

"FOR ANIMALIA!"

"VULPESSS!"

"FOR THE ROYAL FAMILY!"

"KILL EVERYONE OF THEM!"

I never expected this day to come. A day where everything that I said I could easily have vanished one by one. Those meetings that father had with the clan leaders were actually to prepare for this.

A war against royalties.

I could not move from my position and felt like my feet were stuck to the ground. All the efforts I made to get stronger felt like a waste. I have never felt so useless.

My surroundings started to slow down and everywhere I looked, all the people kept falling down to the ground in their own puddle of blood. My chest felt tight as I saw everyone from my family die in front of me.

My family. They are gone. The royal family...killed each one of them.

One clan after another fell on their knees and death came knocking on their door as they lay on the ground, corpses piling up, wiped out by the armies of the Star Kingdoms.

As I turned to look again, my world seemed to have crumbled when I saw Aloy, my best friend, get pierced by the sword of the enemy. It felt difficult to breathe and the feet that were frozen in place earlier started to move and rushed to where Aloy was.

Out of rage, I killed the man who stabbed Aloy with my own hands. I rushed and caught Aloy before he could fall to the ground. "Aloy!" I shouted. I felt desperate, something I have never been.

Even though he was bleeding a lot, he still smiled at me and I felt mad. "Stop! Stop smiling all the time! You are--you are in pain, how could you still smile like that?" I yelled.

When I returned my gaze to his face, I saw tears rolling down his cheeks despite having his usual smile on face. "A...loy..?"

In the year I spent with him, I have always seen his smile and never once saw him cry in front of me. I did not want him to smile while he was suffering, but at the same time I did not like seeing him cry.

I felt desperate to find someone who could heal his wound, but everyone was fighting. There was no one who could help.

"I am sorry...looks like I will have to break my promise."

No.

"It was my mistake to make that promise."

No. Please. 

Aloy's hand went to my face and caressed it, but the hands that gave me warmth all the time became cold. "I wish that even if I am not here, you will never become lonely."

"I hope you will meet someone who will take your loneliness away…"

His hand slid off my face and fell.

And Aloy left the world.

I felt something wet on my face and realized that I was crying. For the first time, I cried. I cried while screaming Aloy's name. All the pain I felt deep in my heart. I let it all out as I continued to scream and cry aloud while Aloy was in my arms.

Even until death, he was smiling.

But that was the last time I saw the smile that I loved so much.