The trainer, whose time is running out, just wants to survive

Why are you crying?Why do I look so worthless...like a lovelorn loser?

Why can't I convince myself? This is obviously a fact. Why do I feel that I can't accept it in my heart? What have I forgotten?

"I must understand, I must understand!"

"Kitano Ryuichi! No matter who you are, I must figure everything out this time! Don't even think about torturing me forever!"

Lu Duo, who was completely out of control with her emotions, reluctantly controlled her emotions while clearing out all the files and information on her desk. With red eyes, she took out the files from the drawer of her desk. A cup of notebook pressed at the bottom.Extremely irritated and anxious, she immediately turned the notebook to the marked page.

And on that page, Rudolf recorded in detail every dream he had every night from the first time he met Kitano to now.Each of those fragments, like broken glass, was recorded by Rudolf, and now she has made up her mind to explore her memory from the inside out.

Just like that, time passed by minute by second. Rudolf, who was originally unable to concentrate on official duties for 10 minutes because of his own worries, now has forgotten even time.She was like an ordinary high school student who worked hard to catch up on homework before the summer vacation. Now she ignored all the changes around her. In her eyes, she only cared about the things she cared about most.

And finally, under the cover of darkness, Rudolf, who had been busy for who knows how long, finally put down the pen in his hand. She didn't even have time to pay attention to her stiff body after sitting for a long time, but couldn't wait to write down the notes she had written. Review the content again.

"These should be all of them. All my dreams...even the ones I'm not sure about are all here now."

"If the people in these dreams are all Kitano, then the past between him and me..."

...seems too long ago.At this moment, Rudolf, who was muttering to himself, subconsciously closed his mouth because she discovered that the dreams recorded in her notebook were not only dreams from her active service period, but also some from her childhood. own things.

And this is so illogical.Rudolf couldn't help but laugh at himself. She had no good memories of her childhood, which was accompanied by strict teachings and cruel training. She didn't even have a playmate in her childhood. How could she have a child who even symbolized family? Where is the figure of Kitano Ryuichi, who is not a member of ?

Even if she took a step back and said that in her childhood, if she really had a playmate like Kitano, how could she forget everything about him?

"Is all this... ultimately my own fault? Could it be that these childhoods that I have long past are still asking for compensation from me, causing me to have fantasies?"

Rudolf, who was sneering, finally couldn't hide his tiredness. After more than ten hours of continuous tidying up, the tiredness that he realized later occupied Rudolf's brain in an instant. When she slowly leaned her body back on the chair, The moment she left, her eyelids could no longer hold on.

That's it... have a good sleep, maybe after a good sleep, you will forget all this.

Thinking like this, Rudolph finally convinced himself to close his eyes. After a while, with the sound of slow breathing, Rudolph, who had not slept well for a week, seemed to finally get his wish and fell into a deep sleep. Within sleep.

And at this moment, her dreams no longer tortured her brain like before... It seems that because Rudolf recorded all her dreams, this time, her dreams were no longer just intermittent fragments like before. , but connected together smoothly.

Rudolf, what did you dream about?She dreamed of a version of herself with a different starting point but the same ending.A completely different life in another world.

……

Rudolf sometimes thought that if her life could be fixed on a certain day forever, then she would choose childhood without hesitation.

Rudolph once read a passage, "Fortunate people will be healed by their childhood throughout their lives, while unfortunate people will spend their entire lives healing their childhoods." Rudolph felt that he might be the "lucky person."

All of this has to start from the beginning.Rudolf still remembers the first time she and him met at the Tokyo Racecourse. She followed her parents here to watch the game. When she thought she could hang out with her parents for the first time in a long time, she was I got a negative answer from my father:

"This is no joke, Rudolf. As the horse racing girl who symbolizes the family in the future, you will have to face this arena sooner or later. Now you must familiarize yourself with all this in advance with us."

"..."

The words of his father, who was once his mother's trainer, made little Rudolph's joy disappear in an instant.When he knew that his parents took time out of his busy schedule for the purpose of teaching, not because they loved their daughter, Rudolph immediately showed great resistance and disgust.

At the racecourse, Rudolf took advantage of the huge crowd and deliberately separated from his parents.However, I don’t know if it was the restriction caused by the strict education she received since childhood. Even if she was rebellious at a young age, she was very rebellious. She did not run out of the racecourse, but only ran to the other end of the racecourse. , the farthest place from my parents.

Just running here made Rudolph extremely satisfied, but just when she was complacent about her "resistance", her eyes were focused on a very conspicuous boy.

The reason why she said that boy was conspicuous was because she noticed that the boy was not accompanied by any adults like her. His height could only allow him to barely see the situation on the field, but unlike her, this boy was extremely tall. She was paying attention to everything on the field, as if Rudolph, a boy who was only a few years older than her, could understand the boring game.

Maybe he was just in a daze after getting separated from the adults?Rudolf, who had been praised by countless adults for being smart and unwilling to admit defeat since she was a child, looked at the boy in front of her who was much more mature than her, and couldn't help but feel a little unconvinced in her heart.This emotion drove her to step forward. Although she was lending a helping hand, she still couldn't hide her pride and said:

"How come a brat like you is at the racecourse? Do you really understand a racehorse girl? If you are separated from your family, sister, I can take you to find your family?"

The moment these words were spoken, Rudolph felt that he had gone a little too far.My tone...isn't it a little too arrogant?I hope my words will not make this boy think that she is some strange bad girl, right?Or be scared to tears.

However, in front of Rudolf, who was slightly uneasy, the boy turned his head slightly, revealing his skin that was whiter than hers, and his deep eyes that were not suitable for his age, flashing with Rudolf's eyes. The expression on his face was incomprehensible—until his next words came:

"I'm sorry, my family members are all dead. Sister, can you really lead me to find them?"

——That night, Rudolph couldn't sleep.

Rudolf had forgotten how she came back with her parents, how she survived the long scolding, and her spirit spent the whole day in a trance.

In the end, Rudolf, unable to contain his conscience, finally found his grandmother, the symbol of speed, in the middle of the night.Under the slightly surprised gaze of her grandmother, this rebellious pony girl revealed for the first time the troubles that had been troubling her for a long time.

"I'm sorry, Grandma, I know the way I spoke in the past was a bit bad, but this time I really don't know - please, I want to find that boy, I want to apologize to him personally, otherwise I won't be able to do anything in the future. Maybe you can sleep."

"...This is the first time you have taken the initiative to apologize to me, Rudolf." After a brief moment of astonishment, the symbol of speed smiled at Rudolf's unexpected experience. The head of the family did not think too much. , and immediately expressed his stance:

"However, this is the quality that the horse racing girl who symbolizes our family should have. I know, I will ask someone to check the boy's news. Rudolf, what you have to do is bring a gift and come to the door alone tomorrow. Apologize, can you do that?”

"No problem at all!"

Rudolph, who was overjoyed, had no idea that this apology and meeting would lead to so much communication between the two of them in the future.

She forgot how she entered the boy's home at his invitation. She only remembered that the moment she said what she called "Rudo's symbol", he looked at her with extremely surprised eyes. It was as if her name had infinite attraction to him.

"It's nothing, I just feel that when I hear this name, I feel that you must be a strong horse racing girl in the future."

"My name is Kitano Ryuichi. I think I am someone who wants to be a trainer in the future. I am really happy to meet you, Symbol of Rudo."

To Rudolph, Kitano was a very strange man.It was obvious that he had said such outrageous things when they first met, but Kitano was so enthusiastic towards her, and he was obviously not a member of the Symbol family, and had never met her before, but his words revealed that He has a deep understanding of her.

For example, when they met again for the second time, he gave her his favorite Fuji apple, but when she asked him how he knew, he always smiled and said nothing.

For another example, he had never mentioned anything about his family affairs, but he happened to know that she had a sister named Sirius. He also always said that he should let her get along well with Sirius so that she would not be criticized by his relatives in the future. , using the two of them to compare with each other.

For another example, he is obviously just a child, but he is exceptionally knowledgeable about trainers, even as good as some of the exclusive trainers in her family.

His willfulness towards her, her rebelliousness, her bad temper and competitiveness... are completely different from her family. Kitano completely accepts and tolerates her like this.

They played together, ran together, and went to buy some trinkets that she originally didn't like. Everything was so simple, no pressure, no worries, just the simplest joy.

With repeated contacts, Rudolf gradually learned many things about Kitano...his parents, his life, and...his incurable disease.

"It doesn't matter, I know my illness myself. But rather than complaining, I think I want to do something vigorous in my limited life." Rudolph still remembers the moment when she heard Kitano's death. When he was suffering from the disease, the boy expressed his ideal in a nonchalant tone.

"I want to go to Chuo Treson Academy and become a trainer. I want to train the first racing girl in Japan to win three championships without defeat."

"——Then let me realize your ideal!" At that moment, Rudolf almost blurted out his ambition. She hugged one of Kitano's arms and said with full of fighting spirit and belief. The voice expressed an ideal that he had never thought of before, saying:

"We have made an agreement! We will meet at Central Teresin College in the future, and then let me help you become the trainer of the undefeated Triple Crown horse girl!"

This boy, who has been full of tragedies since birth, has used his optimism and cheerfulness that did not belong to him to heal the heart of this girl who was born into a distinguished family but whose childhood was full of harshness and depression.So much so that she made an ideal that she didn't know whether she could realize.

However, Kitano still recognized her ideal as always. Rudolf saw recognition and determination in Kitano's eyes, and said to her softly: "-Well, I believe you can do it."

Kitano's voice was not loud, but these words made Rudolph more confident than listening to a thousand words of expectations from the elders in the family.

At this moment, Rudolph showed shyness for the first time in his life. She tried her best to hide her emotions, and chose to answer in the most confident voice:

"We can do it! You idiot Kitano! You must never forget me!"

As he spoke, Rudolf took off the small heart-shaped ornament necklace that he had been wearing around his neck, and put it forcefully into Kitano's hand, asking him to forcibly accept this token that symbolized the agreement.

"If you forget me without authorization, I will never forgive you! When we meet again at Treson College, you must return the necklace to me!"

At that moment, if time could stop... Rudolph hoped that he could stop on that day forever.That pony girl met the first and only ray of light in her life. Little did she know that this ray of light would stay in her heart forever in the future, supporting her through countless difficulties.

Whenever she shrinks, whenever she feels bitter or difficult, she will never forget that there is a silly boy who wants to be her trainer, waiting for her somewhere, waiting for her. Met at Treyson College.

Chapter 30: Rudolf’s Memories: Two people who met but never recognized each other again

"Treison College...is finally here."

Time flies, and after several years of training, the 16-year-old Lu Duo finally stood at the door of Central Teresin College. At this moment, she could not hide her excitement, and her chest rose and fell repeatedly, telling the story of this slim horse racing horse. Mother's nervous mood.

In a few years, Rudolph has grown from the willful horse girl in the past to an outstanding horse racing girl who symbolizes the family's words and deeds.Even though she has not yet made her debut, her aura, her confidence, and all of Rudolph's current external conditions indicate that she is an excellent horse racing girl that is unrivaled by her contemporaries!

In addition to the rigorous and professional education and training provided by the Symbol family, a large part of Rudolf's earth-shaking changes came from Rudolf's extremely high demands on himself - she has never forgotten Kitano's agreement with her. She wants to become the first undefeated Triple Crown jockey girl in Japan. For this ideal, Rudolf has implemented the highest level requirements for herself from the day she was officially trained as a jockey girl.

Rudolph knew that the goal he wanted to achieve was a new level that had never been achieved before.In order to realize Kitano's ideal, she must work harder than any other racing girl, so that she can become the strongest one in the same period!

For this ideal, Rudolph worked harder than all the racing girls in the Symbol family, showing perseverance and resilience that shocked all his peers and even elders in the Symbol family. Needless to say, most of the hard work involved, Rudolph only Know that all your hard work will be rewarded.

In the past, she didn't know what she was working for. What the elders called "a symbol of family pride" was illusory to Rudolph.It wasn't until Kitano appeared and they exchanged each other's dreams together in childhood that Rudolph knew who he was working for.

If it weren't for that boy's support for her in the beginning, if it wasn't for Kitano's initial healing... she would never have been able to survive today.Even if she could, Rudolf didn't think she could handle everything perfectly. She would definitely lose a lot in the process.

"Thank you so much for Kitano's reminder... I didn't expect that after my talent as a horse racing girl gradually emerged, people in the family would really quarrel because of me and Sirius. If Sirius and I hadn't stabilized ourselves in time, The situation at home may not be what it is now.”

"It's all thanks to him..."

Now, just like the original agreement with Kitano, Lu Duo stood at the door of Treson College as promised, but it was rare that he felt extremely nervous.It was clear that when she had just received the admission notice, she was so excited that it was indescribable, and she wanted to rush over to the college. But now that she was in front of the college, she started to shrink back a little.

Rudolf checked her clothes for an unknown number of times, and after finally making sure that there was nothing disharmonious about her clothes, she stepped into the gate of the academy with what she thought was the most perfect appearance.

She knew that Kitano must be waiting for him at Treson Academy. Although they had not seen each other for nearly ten years since she received family training, Rudolph had a strong feeling that Kitano would definitely appear.

He must be as excited as himself for the arrival of this day, right?He must be like her, waiting for the moment to meet her in what he considers to be the most perfect posture, right?

Kitano will never break his promise, Rudolf thought so excitedly in his heart, and his pace quickened a little. Even though she hadn't run a few steps, her heartbeat was already so fast that she began to sweat and pant.

And at that moment, suddenly, with Rudolph's heart skipping a beat, her eyes were fixed on a person.There, he clearly saw a very familiar figure standing sideways in front of him.

Even though ten years had passed, Rudolf still recognized Kitano at a glance... His skin was paler than in her memory, and he was obviously sicker, but he was still standing, with his familiar optimistic smile. It's still on his face!

it's him!Rudolf can be sure that it is Kitano Ryuichi!The playmate who supported her along the way countless times, the person she longed for day and night!

In front of Rudolf, she saw Kitano's profile and seemed to notice something. The smile on his face began to gradually expand, just like the one in Rudolf's memory.

Did he notice her?I have imagined meeting again countless times, is this how it starts?

For a time, Rudolph had obviously rehearsed countless times, but at the critical moment, Rudolf felt that her throat was so dry that she could not make a sound, her body began to tremble slightly, and her mind went blank. I wrote some cool lines, but I have long forgotten them.

She only remembered that she reflexively stretched out a hand. She tried her best to respond to him, but she couldn't make a sound. She was so anxious that she just wanted to step forward and grab the man.

——Until that sudden response that did not belong to her echoed not far away.

"Trainer-san~"

The moment a female voice with a hint of gentleness sounded out in the sassiness that did not belong to Rudolph, Rudolph's originally excited body froze in place as if petrified.The look in her eyes was dull for a moment, but she also noticed the source of the sound. A racing girl whose figure, appearance, and temperament were not inferior to hers, ran straight in the direction of Kitano.

Under Rudolf's absent-minded gaze, the unknown horse racing girl and her Bei Ye hugged each other without any hesitation. Both of them were overflowing with joyful smiles, and the racing girl could not hide her smile. The love was so dazzling in Rudolph's eyes.

For a moment, Rudolf, who was frozen in place, even wondered if he was hallucinating... Was the person who ran over to hug Kitano his own body?Is it just that my soul is stuck in the same place, and I haven't come back to my senses yet?

But at this moment, what brought Rudolph back to reality were the two other passers-by horse racing girls beside her. When these two horse racing girls saw the scene of Kitano and the horse racing girl hugging each other, their faces were filled with emotion. The usual ambiguous smile, followed by a whispered conversation, saying:

"As expected, Trainer Kitano and Qianaki-senpai are a perfect match. Are they really not dating?"

"Idiot, although they don't respond on the surface, they must be dating secretly behind the scenes. The main reason is that if you say this kind of thing, you will definitely be surrounded by reporters, so they will never admit it!"

"Ah~ I'm so envious. I really want to exchange lives with Qianming-senpai, and I also really want to have trainers who can save each other like this~"

The questions and answers from the two passersby Ma Niang finally brought Rudolph back to his senses at this moment.She suppressed the shaking in her heart, took a deep breath, and then managed to calm down her mood. She asked the two passers-by Ma Niang in a low voice:

"Two seniors, I am a new horse racing girl. Could you please tell me in detail - the relationship between the two people over there?"

"Huh? A new freshman? Don't you know Senior Qianaki and Trainer Kitano?"

However, the first words of the passerby Ma Niang broke the last trace of fantasy in Rudolf's heart... Kitano, this surname is not very common, and now it is the only possibility in Teresin College.

Kitano... may have forgotten their childhood agreement, but now he has found another horse racing girl to take on his responsibility.

"...Yeah, I don't have much contact with the outside world."

However, Rudolf still suppressed the trembling in his heart and asked the passerby Ma Niang in front of him with a forced smile: "Excuse me, can you tell me in detail?"

"Hehe, you are also envious of it, right? The relationship between Qianming-senpai and Kitano trainer." At this moment, another passerby, Ma Niang, seemed to have misunderstood. Under Rudolph's gaze, this passerby Ma Niang Mother finally told everything she knew, and all this became the last straw that broke Rudolph's spirit.

"Those two are the combination that everyone at Teresin College knows about! Representative Qianming and Kitano Ryuichi! They are a perfect combination that everyone at Teresin College recognizes! No one can interfere! "

"It is rumored that Trainer Kitano was unable to enter Treson Academy due to physical reasons. It was Senior Qianming who overcame all opinions and personally argued with Chairman Shenzan to allow Trainer Kitano to join as an exception! It was simply love at first sight! "

Saying this, passerby Ma Niang A also fell into envy for a long time, and at this time, passerby Ma Niang B could not hold back his desire to share, and did not notice Rudolph lowering his head slightly at this moment, and his whole body was shaking. He immediately said:

"It's not just that! I heard that during the Satsuki Shogun training, Kitano got sick and almost died! As a result, Chiaki-senpai won the Satsuki Sho, and Kitano, who was originally critically ill, almost died. The officer was out of danger all of a sudden!"

"After Qianming-senpai won the Japanese Derby some time ago, trainer Kitano even recovered and was able to walk! There is no way to explain this kind of thing scientifically. Maybe it is really the blessing of the three goddesses."

"Sure enough, it has to be Qian Ming-senpai. When the Chrysanthemum Appreciation is held in a few months, she will be the first 'Undefeated Triple Crown Horse Racing Lady' in Japan, right?"

Boom!

At this moment, the words of the two passers-by Ma Niang were like thunder exploding in Rudolf's ears. Rudolf, who was already absent-minded, was also at a loss when he heard the words "undefeated three crowns" raised his head.

The next moment, she seemed to feel that something was broken in her heart...

That was her expectation, that was her fantasy for so many years, and she had persisted until now. Unknowingly, it had even become her "faith" to survive all the hardships... It was shattered at this moment.

No more. At this moment, Rudolph felt like he had nothing.

The persistence I had always had, the dream of "three undefeated crowns" that I had always hoped for, the promise that I had always wanted to realize... were all taken away by the horse racing girl called "Representative Qianming", and she replaced him. His position is standing next to the person he has longed for, and he has become the person who realizes his ideal.

...Then who is she?Who is she?

After realizing that she was unwilling to do so, the tears that welled up in her eyes were stubborn and did not fall from Rudolph's eyes. She held her fist firmly and let her nails pierce her skin, leaving a line of blood streaks. Slowly flowing down the gap between her fingers...