Longmen Memoirs

She refused the police officer's adoption, fearing that she would not be able to bear another hard-earned warmth.

Dependent on each other with the fox cub.

He thought of Chen Huijie and Tallulah whom he met in the orphanage. Maybe he really liked them a little bit. Maybe he really thought about what he could do while those despicable attempts to use their identities to pave the way for his future. An Anwen and Xiaota have a home of their own in Longmen.

He also thought of the later Black Wall, Black Steel, 052, Sfeldt, Foxtail, Kribo, Razer, Jessica, Franka, Scout, Kelsey, Doctor, Su Enyang, Hogg, Mudstone, Theresia, Corucil, Sargon's five-person team, and the infected child that Franka met in the Cast Iron Castle. He told Franka at that time that you can't help her, even if you Because of her pity, I gave her some money and some food, but it will still be the same after today. She may even lose her life because of your charity.

You can't save all the fish that dry up on the beach after the tide goes out, just like evil can't be eliminated no matter what, and good can never be done anyway. Everything you do is meaningless, and it just makes up for your inner self-satisfaction with good deeds. .

Franka's eyes looked so surprised at that time, unexpected but not surprised.

The war brewed by the collusion between Siman, the commander of Sargon Black Steel Station, and different local lords, the bandits and thieves who attacked the city were deliberately promoted by Siman to attack the city. After that attack, the city The citizens are even grateful to them, the culprits.

Siman consolidated Black Steel's order and status in the local area, and the city lords even had to listen to his opinions because of this, and the sacrifices were only some insignificant civilians. He did not even consider those people who were killed after the sand bandits came in.

No one comes to seek justice for them, they are just victims of gains and losses.

Just like in the mines, the miners who started riots in order to survive were in ragged clothes and did not even have a few good weapons. They could not find a way to survive facing the mayor's guards.

They hid in the deep forests and winter of Sargon for freedom, dignity and survival. How many people can survive the spring of next year.

Chen Mo suddenly thought, it turns out that this land is so cruel and indifferent, it turns out that life is so selfish and ruthless, it turns out that he has experienced so many ups and downs and twists, it turns out that he has seen so many struggles and sufferings.

And now, he is just an insignificant part of these countless living beings.

Interest, struggle, life and death, fate, embarrassment, escape, dignity, hope...

Along the way, every step and every scar he walked was soaked in these emotions.

Along the way, he killed so many homeless infected people in the black wall winter. He watched them struggle to survive. He killed the woman in a simple and miserable shack.

He watched little Lev being crucified in the snow, and watched the headless lame Sakaz fall into a pool of blood under the siege of the black wall beasts.

The broken knife, the ignited fire, the heavy rusty chains, the 052 shield that shielded the wind and rain, the sins that could not be washed away, and the blood stained hands.

Countless times of near-death and survival, countless times of escaping from catastrophes, countless times of escaping in panic, and countless times of surviving in death.

The bridge across the gantry was getting closer and closer, with the flash of police cars and countless Guards officers standing ready.

Under the dark sky, the lights of the drone illuminated the marching figures of the Sakaz people.

He suddenly stopped, and Sakaz also stopped.

Chen Mo stood at the end of the bridge, looking at the tall man in the middle. He could not forget his appearance, his majesty, his indifference, his arrogance, and the indifference in his golden eyes.

The red sky flew high, whistling with the wind, and was caught in the man's outstretched hand.

Chen Mo pulled out the silver heavy knife.

He took a step.

The heavy knife ignited with blazing blue flames, and its sharp claws grasped the handle.

Under the gloomy sky, deafening thunder suddenly sounded, lightning flashed away, and heavy rain poured down. The police officers of the Guards Bureau all took a step back.

They saw the dark sky, the dazzling electric light, the end of the cold steel bridge, and the terrifying shadow roaring out from behind the monster.

The Sakaz people were as silent as a pool of stagnant water. They followed the monster with teeth and claws, as if they were one.

They are demons without blood or tears.

But now, they have found the monster who rules them.

ps: These two chapters were written very smoothly, because I thought of Chen Mo, who was originally full of ideals and enthusiasm. Under the devastation of Terra, he turned into a person who could not help but be selfish and weigh the pros and cons.

When he met everyone, he was thinking about gains and losses. After being captured by the Tower of Babel, he was thinking about how to survive among the Sakaz people as a mercenary from a foreign country.

He may not want to be as omnipotent and indomitable as the protagonists in other novels. Everything he did in the first half of his career and all the reasons for his hesitations were finally explained clearly.

And after that, it should be like being reborn.

Chapter 40 Tonight, no one sleeps (Qi Qi)

I promised Sakaz that I would change their suffering.

I explained to the Sarkaz who followed me that perhaps I would lead them to blood and destruction.

I used the few ideas and ideas I had left in my mind to try to build a new future for Kazdale that would rise from the ashes.

I spent the whole night conversing with His Highness at the Tower of Babel.

I used to be Theresia's escort, always by her side, looking at her noble figure and listening to her ideal vision.

I don't agree with her flashy, unrealistic and timid ideas.

I cannot deny that in this dark and lightless era, their careers are upright and glorious. Although history has stagnated, they are trying to move forward.

The future is bleak, the road is tortuous, sacrifice is the inevitable result, and the price is heavier than imagined.

Kind and hopeful people, in their gloomy exploration, corrected some mistakes and did some practical things right. History has inadvertently moved forward, a small step that is faltering, insignificant, but worthy of gratification and affirmation.

[Does Mr. Chen Mo miss his parents? 】

When she asked me this question, she always inadvertently touched the softness and lack in my heart.

I think I miss them, but why I miss them, I don’t know.

I think they hate me, and they should have reason to hate me.

But until the end, they still wanted me to be ordinary and stable in my life.

I think I can no longer remember their appearance and their voices that have long become vague.

[I know that Mr. Chen Mo will definitely miss them. Sometimes, this is the only reason for us to live, because life can still continue after we die, not because of anything else, but because someone can live, This is what keeps us moving forward. 】

she said so.

I actually wanted to refute it, because I knew that I was not the continuation of their lives, because I knew that, even though I didn’t want to admit it, I was not their child.

In the past, I used to think that I was a shameless person who occupied a magpie's nest, so it was natural that she would not want to stay with me. Later, I realized that I was not their child from the beginning.

So they died because they had no reason to move forward.

I thought that was it.

Until I learned the secret about myself【/&

After all, their death was to protect me.

They died because of me.

I could only act like a wounded cub, trying my best to gather my scales, but I didn't realize that I was afraid and timid of the surroundings, and I showed my fangs and claws to protect myself.

I've heard it mentioned more than once that I don't act like a child.

[What brought you to this point? Your vigilance and fear, your words, and the purpose of what you said to Kelsey. 】

His Highness asked me this.

The snow kept falling outside the window.

His Highness's embrace was so warm, so warm and sweet that it made people feel suffocated and intoxicated.

But I am part of the people who have brought heavy suffering to his country. I am a mercenary who wanders this chaotic land working for money. I can brutally kill her people and hand over the weapons in my hands. They create eternal chaos and carnage.

Every Sarkaz has reason to hate, loathe, and even banish and kill people like me.

But His Highness did not.

She seemed to see through everything I was pretending to be. How could I not try my best to portray myself as an innocent person caught in the chaos of war among enemies and Sakaz everywhere? Tell them that I am not their enemy in the hope that they can spare me a life. Life.

I was lucky enough to meet Theresia, otherwise I would have died by Scout's gun unknowingly.

I do not ask for forgiveness for the sins on my body, which are blood and mud that cannot be washed away.

[It doesn’t matter if you don’t have to answer. 】

Theresia leaned in my ear and whispered to me: [Because I also have my own purpose, even if it may not be achieved, even if it seems far away, I think the residents of this land are no longer just for farewell. Crying with loss, I think, maybe one day, together we can let every soul on this earth sleep peacefully. 】

【That will be difficult. 】

That would be really hard.

The decadent imperial rule, the power-seeking upper class, the numb and ignorant lower class, the walking dead middle-level structure, the stubborn conservative forces, the stupid aristocrats, the arrogant capitalists, and the oppressed people who are ready to move under high pressure and are infected. By.

I can hear the roars of the serfs, and I can feel the anger of the citizens, but their will is vented on the infected.

It is the nature of most people to bully the weak and fear the strong.

Greed for life and fear of death are inherent concepts.

They want to resist but cannot resist people. They have accumulated enough anger, but they lack weapons, lack training, and most importantly, they lack a belief and will that can lead them to victory.

What a noble socialist idea, what fairness and justice we yearn for, what a cheap life and blood, what a bumpy future and destiny.

Rights, power, and even the land of survival are locked up in man-made structures called mobile cities.The rampant natural disasters have turned all resistance into a vain and futile dream.

A city without support, no permanent base, no logistics, no factories, no ideas worth relying on, nothing... nothing.

Some of them were just rolling around in the mud pit, with their heads bruised and bleeding, and some were just filled with anger and roaring ferocity that had nowhere to express.

Kazdaele can't feed her people, they need too much, and they bleed, but they shouldn't bleed in vain, they always do.

A futile, aimless advance.

People outside the city don't care about the lives lost in the wilderness, and the lords don't care about the life and death of the citizens in the city. Power is always in the hands of corrupt people. Maybe they don't think so at the beginning, but who can care about what.

[Because Chen Mo, you said that people will always have their own ideas, but Chen Mo, we are not living here for an answer, even if that future never comes, even if this land will fall into darkness. 】

She knew that this road might have no end.

She may be weak and does not have the strength and iron-bloodedness to become a monarch, but Kazdel has experienced too many strong and iron-blooded rule, and has experienced too much pain and disputes.

She once had the opportunity to become the queen of Sakaz, and it was not like she had not experienced the brutal Patriotic War in Kazdaele.

The war changed her and many people.

For young people, war is an extremely vague idea.

Older people are closely related to their past.

They have homes, wives and children, careers and needs, all of which are too strong to be destroyed by war.

The remaining young people only have parents and maybe a girl, which is not much. Among young people of my age, the influence of parents is weak and the girl is illusory. Apart from that, we have nothing else. Yes.

Maybe some passions, hobbies, and school, but even these are gone now.

The patriot said this. He said that they were standing on the threshold of life, but before they could take root, the waves of war swept over them.

Ideals cannot become their dependence, and fruitless fantasies will only harm them.

They are not yet ready for a real war.

Maybe it's just the companions who fall next to them, and the repeated failures can wear away the fighting spirit of these young people.

They are not as determined as they think.

War is not a game they can play over if they make a mistake. Their attempts are accompanied by sacrifices and deaths, which they cannot afford.

For the elderly, the war is just a pause in life, and the days after the war can still be expected, but those of us are tightly held, and the outcome is unknown.

All we know is that we are becoming rude and savage in a special and painful way, even though we don't feel sorry for these people.

Maybe that's why.

Theresa will change.

Kazdale needed someone to soothe her wounds. Sarkaz had shed too much unnecessary blood.

[A lot of people will die...]

[More people will die in Kazdale. I will do anything that can increase Theresia’s chances of winning. 】

The man under the hood replied.

[Hypocritical guy. 】

【I never understand. 】

[Perhaps we will all die badly in the end, are you afraid? 】

【What are you afraid of?Longmen's proverb? 】