Longmen Memoirs

His voice was sarcastic and mean.

A young hand pressed on Chen Mo's shoulder, and a young figure stood behind Chen Mo.

[No, not at all. You have never had such lofty ambitions. You are not even willing to climb high and hold power. You just want to live a more stable life. But, among the people you meet, no one A few can really settle down, so you are afraid of losing those people. You can't be a hero, and you can't be a complete villain. 】

[It's very contradictory, isn't it, watchdog, but these contradictions have never left you, you have to face them, whether you are willing or not, you know that you will face them, and face yourself. The fact that you are a wicked person, facing those things that you shouldn't do but that make you unable to remain indifferent. 】

He raised his index finger, facing Frost Star's tent.

[Just like this time, next time, you will shape yourself into a good person, and even you don’t know how many times in the future...]

He leaned down, leaned against Chen Mo's ear and asked: "Does it hurt to be a good person?"With this kind of decision, there are still a few people in this world who really hope you can live well. 】

"That's okay."

[It really doesn’t matter? 】

"It doesn't matter." Chen Mo replied. She looked at Shuangxing's doubtful eyes and smiled: "It's just a dream that won't happen. Dreams are the opposite."

Chen Mo couldn't remember where he heard this, but after many years, he was no longer troubled by a false nightmare, because what he had encountered was something that those false things could not describe... the human world.

People must endure suffering when they are alive, but people do not choose to live because of suffering.

Chen Mo could tell the difference between the two.

He could also clearly tell the frost star in front of him, she was alive.

As long as he knew this, it was enough for Chen Mo.

If people need a hero, he is a hero. If people need a savior, he will be a savior. If people need him to be a villain, he can be a villain.

In the chess games of the past, he did not care to use himself as a pawn if necessary.

Just to become the king and lose the bandits.

Over the years, he has been doing this.

ps: Everything has its price, and Chen Mo's price is that after making this choice, he can be anyone, except himself.

Chapter 64 I don’t lie much

[I have never really liked the word justice.

Perhaps it is because most of the time people are used to finding a reasonable excuse for what they do, so over time justice is used more and more, and there are countless things that bear this name, so its definition has become more and more Blurred hair.

A person's ability is limited, and most of what an individual hears and sees are just one-sided views and perspectives, which are neither facts nor represent the truth. ——Chen Mo, A.D1903]

--------

Shuangxing's confusion seemed to be written on her face. She was never very good at hiding her thoughts. She probably didn't bother to do such hypocritical things.

Chen Mo quite likes this kind of person. This kind of straightforward person can be said to be straightforward and easy to deal with. At least he can calculate without having to spend too much effort. If he were a fox, every word he said to her would be unreasonable. Every move must be made carefully to avoid being plotted by her.

too tired.

It is hard work and hard work, but most people are alive and have little ability and too much to think about. Things that work hard and hard are indispensable. Even a man like Zhuge Wolong will inevitably end up exhausted both physically and mentally. He left Qishan six times and the Northern Expedition is hopeless. situation.

"Wake you up?"

"No, I saw the fire outside." Shuangxing shook his head and looked at Chen Mo who was sitting in front of the bonfire. She was wearing the thick Ursus military cloak. The sky was not bright yet. Before dawn, The night was deep and cold, and occasionally a gust of night wind blew by, causing the firelight to sway in the wind.

She has always been a light sleeper. This is a habit she has developed over a long period of rough life. She will wake up at the slightest noise or strangeness. Especially after leaving the guerrillas, the unfamiliar environment made her wary. There was never any let up.

"Why are you sitting outside alone?"

After a brief period of confusion, Shuangxing asked. She first glanced at the bonfire and inferred how long Chen Mo had been awake from the burning degree of the branches.

"Can't sleep."

Chen Mo said it very honestly.

"Can't sleep?"

As if she didn't expect Chen Mo to answer like this, Shuangxing's eyes were a little surprised, and she hesitated before speaking.

"I thought I heard voices just now."

"I'm talking to myself."

"Um……"

Shuangxing's eyes were a little weirder, similar to seeing a psycho and admitting that he was a psycho. Although there was nothing wrong, it still made people feel that something was wrong for a while.

"Isn't it a bit strange to say that?" Chen Mo asked, he seemed to see Shuangxing's thoughts.

"is a bit."

Shuangxing was very down-to-earth, but she didn't dwell too much on this issue. She was not the kind of person who liked to dig deep and know the answer.

She sat down opposite Chen Mo and gathered her cloak to avoid being burned by the sparks. From this, it could be seen that she cherished the large and obviously ill-fitting cloak. After doing this, she stretched out her hand in the direction of the bonfire.

The bright flame dissipated the surrounding coldness, even if the psychological effect may be far more than the actual effect.

"Don't go back and sleep for a while. Once we pass this suitable camping point, we will have to take turns to watch the night again starting tomorrow." Chen Mo reminded.

"That's right today."

Froststar corrected her. She stretched out her hands to straighten her hanging hair. Carters showed a rare sense of humor and added, "No, it's getting dark soon. I'll just sit here for a while."

"You don't have to consider me deliberately." Chen Mo said.

"I didn't." Shuangxing glanced at Chen Mo without even thinking about answering.

She answered too hastily.

She seemed to have discovered this. After saying this, she looked away and stared at the bonfire without speaking.

It's too easy to guess what's going on.

"..."

After a few seconds of brief silence.

Froststar spoke up to break the silence.

"Where are we now?"

"The southwest border of Ursus, this is the shortest road from Snowfield to Kazdaele."

"It's been almost two months."

Froststar sighed with emotion.

"Yes." Chen Mo said.

Before I knew it, it was almost two months.

"Do you think it's strange that I ask you this?" Shuangxing suddenly asked.

The figures of the two people swayed with the swaying bonfire within the scope of the firelight. The orange-red firelight reflected on their bodies, as if even Shuangxing's usually indifferent expression had become much softer.

Both she and Chen Mo thought of the camp. They thought of the same thing, but maybe they were different people, or maybe there was no difference.

Chen Mo would think of this when he was alone in the past, but at that time he just thought that he had no direction at that time, just like a rootless duckweed drifting with the tide, which was far less practical than he is now.

"Isn't it strange?" Chen Mo shook his head and said, "You have been in the snowfield before, have never been to the south, and have never left Ursus."

"But this way here, the south is a little different from what I thought." Shuangxing frowned and said with a complicated tone.

The south is indeed different from what she imagined. Although they have avoided entering the city driving area and tried their best to hide their whereabouts, a lot of things happened along the way.

For example, the tractor that carried the infected to the mine, or the difference between the Usas villagers' treatment of the infected and the two of them that they witnessed without knowing that they were infected.

Shuangxing probably couldn't forget the corpses that were hung on the tree trunks and swayed in the wind under the big tree at the intersection. There were infected people and serfs.

She could not forget the completely opposite attitudes of the villagers before and after the two children she rescued from the avalanche learned that she was infected.

No one’s life is good.

In the past, Shuangxing thought that only the infected people suffered. It would be better to say that she only saw them, the infected people in Ursus, as the ones who suffered most of the suffering. But now, Shuangxing was not so sure.

There seems to be no end to the suffering, large and small, villagers oppressed by pickets, farmers oppressed by mine supervisors and tax collectors, serfs under slave owners, ordinary people working day and night in factories who are struggling to make ends meet.

Some people live a slightly better life, and some people live not much different from the infected people. The only difference is that they are still alive, but they are just living, living a hard life, and they are not even as comfortable as herself.

There were many things that she would not be able to imagine or believe if she stayed in the snowfield all her life and did not understand and see them in person. She could only rely on her own eyes to make judgments to distinguish who was right and who was wrong.

But after knowing too much, I realize more and more that what I can do is too limited.

"If Tallulah was here, she would definitely stop the tractor." Froststar sighed softly.

In the end, they did not stop the tractor because she had already caused them a lot of trouble because of what happened in the village.

"She will definitely take those infected people with her for their survival." Chen Mo did not object. He said, "If Tallulah was here, she would not let a group of infected people with nowhere to go to roam the vast Ursus." The wilderness takes care of itself, but if we do that, we won't be able to reach Kazdale in our lifetime. If we don't stop the car, the infected people in the car will still be alive, but if we stop it and take them with us, they may all die. .”

It is difficult to be a good person, and it is not easy to do good things. It is difficult to be a good person and do it to the end. It is difficult to distinguish what is good and what is [|

It's like giving money to beggars on the roadside all the time, but one day this good thing stops.

It was like a well-intentioned reminder, but he became an accomplice in covering up the murderer.

It's like saving a civilian who was bullied by a dandy in a moment of passion, but it will cost the lives of his whole family, and he will become a nosy sinner.

You might ask if you regret it, of course you do.

But such fools will always exist.

Although people's minds change and human nature is complex, people are always the most difficult to understand in the world. But because of this, there are always a lot of good things, because people are complex and simple.

Going upstream is the same eternal light in human nature.

"This is just what you think, Chen Mo."

"But that doesn't mean it won't happen. You are not Tallulah, and neither am I, so we can only pretend and consider the consequences that have not happened."

Chen Mo replied: "I encountered the same thing when I was in Sargon several years ago. In a local source stone mine, the miners were a group of infected people who were captured. They attacked the lord who was inspecting the mine. Son, try to get back their freedom in this way."

"My team and I were commissioned to rescue the lord's useless son. We sneaked into the mining area and had a conflict with the infected on the way. It was winter at that time. Although the winter in Sargon was not as cold as Ursus, it was For a group of ragged infected people, it was enough to kill them. They had nowhere to go, but we still made a deal with them."

"What deal?" Froststar asked.

"We used hostages in exchange for a way of escape for them. In short, we helped them achieve their goals, and they also helped us complete our mission." Chen Mo said, "But that's all. I have never seen that group of people again. The infected people have not heard any more news about them. The lords have sent out guards. Sargon is not peaceful everywhere. They may be recaptured or executed on the spot. With luck, they survive and become adults. They killed the sand thieves and robbers and became the corpses of their men. It has never been easy for a group of infected people to stay alive in Sargon."

Chen Mo made many assumptions, but the results of any of them were not very good.

"It's the same everywhere," Froststar said.

"That's why what Tallulah and you want to do now makes sense. Solving these problems fundamentally is far more practical than saving a few people. Only by first considering doing what you can can you avoid being overstretched."

"If you are saying these nice things on purpose to make me feel better, you can change your story."

"To put things into perspective, infected people mostly rely on one pair of legs to move across the land. This is very difficult. In fact, it is normal for many people to never leave the land they are familiar with in their lives. But if they don't go out, they will never understand the reality of this world. look like."

"What about you? You seem to be familiar with all of this." Shuangxing asked, and then added: "You also like to talk about things that you don't understand. Do you do the same to Tallulah?"

"She's much harder to deal with than you are."

"I will definitely tell her what you said when I get back." Shuangxing said with certainty.

"..."

Chen Mo looked stunned as he was being plotted, Shuangxing looked at him and smiled.

"Huh... I suddenly feel a lot more relaxed." She took a breath and asked again, "You haven't answered my question yet."

"Because of work, I have been to many places before." Chen Mo replied, looked at Shuangxing, and began to change his words: "I don't like to be reasonable, Shuangxing, but I think sometimes a few words can avoid a lot of unnecessary trouble. "

"Just think of it like this, like?"

"For example, if you do something and others don't agree with it, I'm not very good at solving it directly. I don't want to see blood or cruelty. I prefer to convince others with virtue."

Shuangxing had a look of disbelief, just like the last time Chen Mo told her that he was not very good at fighting, but later Shuangxing realized that he was being fooled.

Tallulah was right, not much of what came out of this man's mouth was true.

"You do not believe?"

"I don't know whether I should believe it or not. Tallulah said you were full of lies. Now I think she was right." Froststar said helplessly, and then asked: "Is the job you mentioned similar to that of a messenger?"

In this land, the prerequisite for becoming a messenger is to be able to fight, followed by business ability and knowledge. Chen Mo is very consistent with this point.

"almost."

"What does almost mean?"