Longmen Memoirs

"Don't worry, it's okay." Chen Mo comforted, "No matter what happens, I will never leave you."

"Ah."

Xiao Mo responded softly, but his voice was low, as if he had no confidence in Chen Mo's words.

If I could grow up quickly, I wouldn't have to look at my dad and mommy like this and do nothing.

Without that moment, Xiao Mo hopes that he can grow up quickly and be able to do something to help them instead of just watching.

Chen Mo seemed to see Xiao Mo's thoughts.

"You know, Xiao Mo, when I was as old as you, I was always thinking about growing up quickly, growing up quickly. If I could grow up quickly, maybe I would have the opportunity to change some things that might be wrong. Things that happened."

Chen Mo's eyes softened. He looked at the little girl in front of him, as if he saw himself when he was a child. He couldn't deny that the truth Wei Yanwu told him made inevitable waves in his heart.

In fact, he should have figured out these so-called truths long ago, but he has been unwilling to face them, which would make him feel even more indebted.

Chen Mo smiled lightly.

"But later, I gradually realized that I can't grow up too quickly. Even if I want to, time will not change my thoughts, so I no longer hope that I can grow up quickly. On the contrary, I hope that time can continue again. Slower, slow enough for me to prepare myself, but now it's getting faster and faster, faster and faster."

Chen Mo was so naive when he was a child. He hoped that time would allow him to grow up enough to settle down and hold his own destiny in his hands.

He remembered that the first night in the resettlement camp was cold and noisy. The people in the gymnasium with the bright lights above their heads were blurred, and there were low sobs mixed with the cries of babies in his ears. The strange and hurried figures around him overlapped and suddenly appeared. The chaos, helplessness and confusion after a disaster.

The choking smell of burning permeated the tip of my nose, the thick smoke that lingered in front of my eyes, the burnt sparks in the thick smoke and the ashes floating in the sky.

You can vaguely see the flow of people passing by, chaotic and blurred in the drizzle, like a disintegrating wave.

The days in the resettlement camp were false and pale. A group of confused and crying people hugged each other for warmth. No one had time to think about the rest of their lives, because the more they thought about it, the more they would fall into hesitation.

It's okay for those who have relatives, at least they have someone to comfort them, but for children who have lost their relatives, they are left with nothing but emptiness and helplessness.

When they were young, Chen Mo and the fox cubs would often sit on the small slope behind the resettlement camp and look at the construction site of the city not far away. At that time, their biggest wish was to grow up quickly, so that they would be old enough to go to the new construction site and receive money. A meager income so that I can have the confidence and confidence to face the life that I don’t know where it will lead next.

Humble and insignificant, but it is a fact.

Everyone wants to work hard to survive, but they don’t know how to survive or how to survive.

It was not until later, when he left the resettlement camp, left the fox cubs who depended on each other, and came to the orphanage that Chen Mo rediscovered the meaning of life and began to hope that time could slow down.

But time has been moving faster and faster since then.

Xiao Mo quietly listened to Chen Mo's words. After a while, she asked in a low voice:

"Is it because of Xiaota and Mommy?"

She knew that she and Chen Mo had gone to the east side of the city to see the graves of her grandparents. Xiao Mo had also tried to think about what she would do if one day her mother disappeared and she was left alone. I have thought about it for a long time and don’t want to think about it any more.

Because she found that she couldn't accept it and was very uneasy and scared, so Xiao Mo was very good and cherished the days she spent with her mommy.

But this is how Chen Mo came, this is the life he has experienced,

Moving and wandering.

"That feeling is very strange, Xiao Mo." Chen Mo said: "It's like you have walked a long way in darkness, and suddenly you encounter a little light. You will desperately move closer to the light. You don't know why, maybe it's Because those lights will make you feel at ease, Chen and Xiaota were my lights at that time."

Chen Mo said warmly: "From that time on, after meeting them, I began to hope that time would slow down, but the days we were together always made me feel that time flies by so fast. When I open my eyes, it's dawn, but when I close them, it's dawn. It’s sunset.”

But Chen Mo didn't tell Xiao Mo.

The closer he gets to the light and comes into contact with that ray of light, the further away he will feel from it, and of course he will feel urgent.

He hoped that time would slow down, because he knew that the time left for them would not be too long, and one day, perhaps not too far away, they would be separated.

"But time is always fair. It is not generous to everyone, and it will not sympathize with anyone for a second." Chen Mo said: "What should grow up will always grow up, and what should be faced cannot be escaped. .”

"Xiao Mo doesn't want to grow up." Xiao Mo said suddenly. "If it's going to be like this when you grow up, Xiao Mo shouldn't grow up."

"Little fool." Chen Mo smiled and shook his head.

"I hope Xiaomo can live a peaceful and carefree life."

He gently touched Xiao Mo's head. Xiao Mo shrank down, and Chen Mo gently pulled up the quilt for her.

"But life is too long. One day, Xiao Mo will grow up and find that everything has changed. He will know what kind of world he lives in. This world may not be as beautiful as in fairy tales. Xiao Mo may encounter some Things that are incomprehensible will make Xiao Mo hurt, sad, feel aggrieved, ostracized, disgusted, and even feel hatred without reason."

Chen Mo withdrew his hand, and the little girl curled up slightly on the bed. Her face looked so much like Tallulah that he had to think more about the future.

Xiao Mo suddenly reached out and took Chen Mo's hand.

She looked at herself with eyes full of uneasiness and hesitation, just like Tallulah had looked like in the orphanage.

Chen Mo held Xiao Mo's hand.

Xiao Mo is very smart, but she is also too young. She can't understand Chen Mo's words, but Chen Mo doesn't need her to understand, as long as she remembers.

Chen Mo did not meet a qualified teacher to teach him these principles.

But Xiao Mo is different, she also has Chen and even Wei Yanwu.

She doesn't have to carry too much, but she should understand so that she won't be at a loss in the future.

"Don't hate anyone, Xiaomo, and don't hate the world, no matter the difficulties or setbacks, don't give up, never, let alone be timid, let them knock you down, raise your head, and tell this imperfect story Become what you expect." Chen Mo said: "If you want to, just do it. Of course you can do it, but don't be disappointed if you can't."

Chen Mo said softly:

"Don't be afraid to wait, Xiao Mo, and don't be afraid to face it, because it's not worth it. No matter how dark and silent the world is, you still have the right to choose what kind of person you want to be."

The time was 9:21 in the evening. After Xiao Mo fell asleep, Chen Mo quietly closed the bedroom door and the lights in the living room were not dimmed.

A few dim wall lamps emitted insufficient light to illuminate the large living room.

Chen Mo had deep fatigue on his face.

He walked into the bathroom and washed his face with icy cold water to clear his mind. Since yesterday, Chen Mo had encountered a series of changes that left him no time to rest and breathe.

Only now, in the dead of night, did Chen Mo get a moment of peace.

But he knew very well in his heart that the tranquility was short-lived. From the upper floor of Qilong Apartment, he could see half of Taipo, with bright lights and long queues of cars.

The prosperity of the city is imprinted in the flowing neon lights and brilliant night scenery.

Taipu, located in the Central District, has always been one of the most economically prosperous areas in Longmen and the second largest administrative district in Longmen. Although compared to the high-end villa complex on Taiheng Road where Chen's old house was located, Qilong Apartment is much inferior. , but at least she is a family.

The name home is too far away for Chen Mo, so far away that he has no time to stop somewhere.

After starting his new life at Longmen, and traveling around half of the world, Chen Mo still has not escaped its shadow. He has been wandering between the two words "Longmen" his whole life, living under its shadow.

Longmen has always been his home, but to Longmen, he and they are just dispensable people.

There are countless corpses buried under this huge city, and everyone's blood and tears are intertwined into its existence, exaggerating its current prosperity.

But...people need it, but it doesn't necessarily need others.

Chen Mo took out his mobile phone from his bag and put it on the coffee table. He closed his eyes, raised his head and sat on the sofa, quietly listening to the noise coming into his ears from outside the night, which was mixed with the sound of wind.

The wind was very strong at night, and it started to rain soon.

The rain beat against the tall floor-to-ceiling windows in the wind, forming fine water marks on the transparent glass. Outside the water marks, the lights and the city were blurred.

Chen Mo emptied his mind and fell into a short, light sleep.

The clock hanging on the wall walked silently, crossing 10 o'clock, passing midnight, and finally stopped at 2 o'clock.

He is waiting for a call.

A phone call that may or may not come.

Finally, the phone on the table vibrated, and Chen Mo opened his eyes amid the vibration.

【Not sleeping yet? 】The voice on the phone asked.

"Waiting for you." Chen Mo said.

[Did you know I would call? 】

"Maybe."

[If I hadn’t called, would you have waited like this all night? 】

"I'll wait until three o'clock."

There was a brief pause on the phone, as if confirming the time.

[It seems that I hit at the wrong time. ] The voice on the phone was a little regretful: [Officer Chen temporarily removed most of the police force and conducted a vigorous investigation, which caused a lot of noise. I have been busy here until now and I have a little free time. ”]

As she finished speaking, the phone rang with a tone, and a photo was sent to Chen Mo's phone.

The background is outside a warehouse. The photo seems to be a little far away. The red and blue police lights are flashing in the rain. You can only vaguely see Chen standing beside the yellow cordon in the distance with his back to the photographer and looking at the policeman beside him. What is the officer ordering?

[She doesn’t seem to be planning to go back tonight? 】The fox on the phone said. [How does it feel to be alone in an empty room?Sorry, I forgot for a moment that you also have a daughter, so you don't have to stay alone. 】

"You seem to be in a good mood?"

【kind of. 】

Chen Mo didn't answer. After a few seconds, he spoke.

"fox……"

"I am listening."

【=+

"You don't have to do this. In your eyes, I'm just a fool who doesn't know his own abilities?"

The voice on the phone fell silent, followed by a long moment of silence.

[To be on the safe side, a fool at least knows it will hurt and won’t touch it a second time. ] said the fox.

"At least you could have told me beforehand."

[Are the results different? ] The fox asked back: [You and I both know very well that as long as you stay in Longmen, the result will not change. 】

"..."

[You who stay in Longmen, whether you like it or not, will be found out sooner or later. Chen Mo, her side is too dazzling and too dangerous. Some people who live in the darkness will find it difficult to adapt to the sunshine when they are used to the darkness. You I am both such a person. ] The fox said: [I just pushed you. You don't like this gift. To be honest, I don't like it either, but there is no way. You can't refuse this gift, not now. 】

Who do you think you are, the arrogant Martial King, or the black steel elite who came back from outside the Dragon Gate, the wanderer of Kazdare.

You were many things, but you are not.

Now you are a half-dead waste. You have no reason and no ability to say no to others. You will live an extremely humble and fragile life, but you still want to resist.

What do you use to resist, that poor, rotting body, or that long knife that has been broken long ago and is thrown away somewhere?

Was it the so-called fox report in Wei Yanwu's mouth that really made Chen Mo agree to Wei Yanwu's request?Or maybe the secret from the past between Star Bear and him?

Chen Mo didn't care. Even if Chen asked, he had a thousand reasons to explain. What really made Chen Mo care was the promise from Wei Yanwu's mouth, the promise that Longmen could be your reliance.

Chen Mo knew better than anyone that if he wanted to truly hide in this city, there was only one person who could help him do it. He should have made this preparation after telling the fox that he would not leave Longmen.

It's just that things happened too fast, and Wei Yanwu's arrival was too sudden.

The fox picked a good time. From the moment the Victoria case happened, Chen Mo regained value in Wei Yanwuli's eyes.

"Just like that day in the store? Do I want to say thank you?"

[No, you never said that, right? ] said the fox. [It’s raining heavily tonight, so there may not be any results. Maybe I should put it another way, whether there is this heavy rain or not, there will be no results. 】

"What do you mean?"

[It’s just a warning, I just don’t know what the hell will happen. ] Fox replied indifferently, looking at the inspection team preparing to enter the warehouse in the distance: [By the way, when will you come over tomorrow? I probably don't have time to prepare a welcome meeting for you. I will explain the specific situation to you when you arrive. 】

"Later, I will take Xiao Mo to Ansuo first."

[Okay, I almost forgot that you are no longer alone. 】The fox asked half-jokingly: 【What do I need to prepare for you? 】

"for example?"

[Weapons... masks and the like, although there are not many opportunities to use them, they may come in handy. 】

"no need."

[Don’t think too much, just relax. Didn’t you say you wanted to be a police officer before? Congratulations, now your wish has come true. 】

"Do you remember?"

[You shouldn’t forget it, but I’ve never forgotten it. 】

Chen Mo was stunned.He didn't know how to answer the fox's words for a moment.

[Are you touched by my words? ] There was a little bit of amusement in the phone fox's voice.

"Almost...if it hadn't happened later, this sentence would still be useful."