Longmen Memoirs

"Well, it doesn't matter." Chen Mo said: "I originally thought I should die, but I survived inexplicably. It was only when I was alive that I realized..."

Chen Mo took a gentle breath, and the air poured into his body with his breathing, and his lungs relaxed.

"...It's good to be alive."

"Congratulations." Shuangxing said softly, and Chen Mo finally saw a faint smile appear on the corners of the white Custer's pursed lips.

The smile quickly faded again.

"Does she know that you are still alive?" Shuangxing asked.

"I am not suitable to interfere in her life now, Shuangxing." Chen Mo said. "I think you understand what I mean."

"But it's not fair."

"What is fairness?" Chen Mo asked.

"The word fairness has never had an accurate explanation. It is given by others. You are for me and I am for you. Is this fair? No, no, Frost Star, fairness should not be used in this kind of thing. I I think you understand better than I do that there is rarely a chance to be fair in everything."

"Actually, it's because you haven't thought about it that way, about the future." Shuangxing said, looking directly at Chen Mo with his gray eyes: "Can you tell me why?"

Because you feel that there is no possibility of going back, because you feel that you can be done with it if you die, because everything that has happened is pushing you to do this, and you have no chance to choose anymore.

Froststar knew the answer, but she still wanted to hear it with her own ears [|

They had traveled across several countries together. During that long journey, Shuangxing thought she knew him well enough, but he often did things that people couldn't understand.

Yes, we should be thankful that there is such a person who seems to be omnipotent. It is undeniable that he can always solve the difficulties encountered in front of him.

But no one has ever asked him why he did this, because when he sits with the infected, you will feel that he is the same as you, but in fact Frost Star can see that these are not what he wants.

He has no reason or confidence to fight for the future of the infected.

"Because I don't dare to think about it," Chen Mo said.

Just like when the wall is black, 052 asks himself if he misses home?He said he didn't dare to think about it, because once he thought of these people, he would inevitably become weak and unwilling.

Chen Mo would be afraid that he could not help but be immersed in the identity of King Wu, and he would not be able to help forcefully bring Talulah back. Of course he could do it.

But will Tallulah, who has lost the ideal she fought for, still be the Tallulah in her memory?

As long as those broken dreams are shattered once, no matter how perfect they are, there will still be cracks. Moreover, Chen Mo has already understood that the little tower that belongs to him left forever because of his selfishness after he left Longmen for the first time. Got him.

The remaining Tallulah Atrias, who belongs to the integration movement and the infected, is no longer the willful, picky, and teasing little tower in the orphanage.

What's ridiculous is that many years later, Chen Mo, who originally chose to leave because he wanted to stay with them, couldn't keep anyone.

I was born a monster. Of course, monsters will not have a good end. They will either die under the sword of a brave man or fall into the hands of a knight. But compared to these, my death is decent enough.

Shuangxing said nothing more, but after hearing this answer, she still felt empty in her heart, and suddenly felt that she owed others something that could not be repaid.

After several seconds, Froststar spoke.

"worth?"

Chen Mo looked at Shuangxing, who was stunned.

"She never let anyone down, did she?"

Shuangxing nodded slightly and shook it again.

The gray eyes looked over and stayed on Chen Mo's face.

She said slowly:

"……except you."

Chen Mo's fingers that touched the table trembled slightly. Shuangxing's words were like cold and sharp ice thorns that penetrated deeply into his heart, causing things that he thought he didn't care about to be ruthlessly picked out.

"You are still as ruthless as ever." Chen Mo sighed.

"Because what I say is true."

"But we all know that she did nothing wrong." Chen Mo said: "It is enough to ignite the fire of the infected people's resistance in the snowfield and the earth. As you said, I think it is fair."

"Then why are you still here?" Froststar said: "A few days ago, that Custer little rabbit told me that Tallulah attacked the police officers of the Longmen Guards Bureau, and they suspected that the Rhode Island Route The infected people we encountered were related to Tallulah, and even the case being investigated by the Longmen Guard Bureau was also related to Tallulah. I saw on the news this morning that Tallulah and her companions from the Integration Movement appeared in Longmen, and now, I met you here again.”

"My subconscious told me that it was impossible for Tallulah to make such an extreme but meaningless move, but that Custer had no reason to deceive me. She did so." Frost Star said:

"In the past two years, Tallulah has spent less and less time in contact with us. Except for Alina who is always by her side, I gradually found that I can no longer understand her and know her inner thoughts as I used to. I should believe her, but I can't bring myself to do so."

"You want to ask her in person?" Chen Mo asked.

"If I hadn't met you here, I should have left Rhode Island." Frost Star said: "This is the easiest way. She happens to be in Longmen now. I must know what she wants to do."

"What happens after that? I mean, if she really did it, what would you do?"

"I will ask the reason and then make my own judgment." Froststar said, "But before that, I want to stay and listen to your views and observe Rhode Island's attitude."

"I can't represent Rhode Island."

"I know that," Froststar said, "but you still have a deep connection."

Shuangxing didn't decisively say anything to stop her. She still maintained enough calmness and rationality. This indeed seemed like the character of this snowfield rebel. Perhaps if Tallulah's reasons could convince her, she would still support Tallulah's choice. .

Because they all understand that right and wrong in this world are always relative, and the only thing that determines is their respective positions. If they choose to become enemies, she should not stay in Rhode Island.

"I can't guarantee that my answer will satisfy you." Chen Mo said: "What you know in Rhode Island is indeed what happened before. Tallulah attacked the senior superintendent of Longmen and had a close relationship with the Guards Bureau. The case under investigation was involved, and not only that, she also kidnapped the daughter of the leader of the inspection team of the Guards Bureau and the grand-niece of Governor Longmen."

The gray pupils shrank.

"Is what you said true?"

"You can judge for yourself."

"…But why would she do this?"

"Because of Ursus' army." Chen Mo said: "Usus will never tolerate the development and growth of the integration movement. This is a naked shame for them. Therefore, whether it is the emperor and speaker who advocate reform, or The military and parliamentarians of the main war faction couldn't wait to clean up this shame. The emperor wanted to implement reform policies, but he didn't want to start another war with Dayan. The integration movement could help him share the pressure brought by the military, and The military wants to take this opportunity to provoke the Yanwu War again to dissuade the emperor from reforming."

Chen Mo said: "The integration movement is a point of conflict between the political opinions of both parties. If the war breaks out before the integration movement is destroyed, the integration movement will still have enough time to grow, but if... you fail to meet the emperor's expectations, what awaits you There will be a merciless purge and trampling by Ursus' armies."

Chen Mo sighed lightly and stopped looking at Shuangxing's ugly face and unbelievable eyes.

In the corridor outside the window, several figures walked by, turning their heads curiously to glance at the two people in the rest room.

"Tallulah has no choice." Chen Mo turned his head and looked at Shuangxing and said. "I can understand why she did this. In fact, Longmen is the battlefield she chose for this."

Chen Mo smiled: "She asked you to come to Rhode Island. I think your infection level is already very serious. You will undoubtedly embark on the battlefield and seek death. In the remaining days, she hopes that you can Live for yourself.”

Is it fair?

There is no fairness. Living in this world, everyone just has their own reasons to fight for it.

It’s not about fairness, it’s not about what is right or wrong.

Even if the integration movement has reached this point, Kelsey is right, they are still fragile. They are not Kazdaele, because there is a behemoth named Ursus behind them that cannot be avoided. , the integrated movement can be easily swallowed up at any time.

The integration movement is ridiculous. It belongs to someone's naive and unrealistic delusion. It is a puppet with strings in the hands of all parties, but she has done a good enough job.

She has come step by step and has done great things that many people want to do but cannot.

Shuangxing stared deeply at Chen Mo. Her lowered hands were squeezed tightly due to excessive force, but the boiling flame in her chest had nowhere to vent, and could only be extinguished in the end.

Powerless, the facts are real but powerless, but if you think back to the struggle for so many years, it seems to have become a laughing stock now.

Cheering, jumping for joy, the smiles on everyone's faces that seemed to be reborn, the flags flying above the city of Chernobog, the joy of breaking through the clouds like a roaring tsunami, how could Frost Star deny it, how could it not care.

But now, Chen Mo told her that all this was just a castle in the air, a dream.All of this was because of the person sitting on the top of Qicheng Tower. She never stopped her steps and the weight on her shoulders because of this.

She didn't dare to relax, and she didn't dare to face those who smiled at her.

"Do you think so too?" Shuangxing suddenly asked, "Live for yourself."

She laughed softly, her laughter sad and ironic.

she says:

"But how dare I be so selfish."

"Even if you go, you can't do anything." Chen Mo said. "You should understand."

"I understand, but I have to go." Frost Star replied: "I am very grateful that you told me truthfully. Although you are not a member of the Integration Movement, I will always remember everything you have done for us. You Unlike us, you don’t have to fight for us.”

"You are still alive, Mr. Chen Mo."

A brief, bright and warm smile suddenly appeared on her face.

"very nice."

Occasionally, happy things can happen in this terrible land.

Chen Mo couldn't say anything else.

Froststar is gone.

Chen Mo watched Shuangxing turn around slowly. Chen Mo looked at her back. He knew Shuangxing was going to [#-

But he didn't call Frost Star's name after all.

Yelena...

Maybe she wouldn't have told her this, but she would still do it, because she was Frost Star, a warrior, not just mediocre myself.

She will leave Rhodes Island, and in the few days left as a warrior, she will choose to devote her last effort to the cause she has fought for throughout her life.

She will stand beside her friend and leader, and face the battle she can continue with her, her destiny.

In fact, when Kelsey vaguely mentioned these things to herself, Chen Mo roughly understood what Kelsey wanted to tell him.

You should understand that there is nothing you can do.

There is no place for him beside them. Chen Mo knows that, and Chen Mo also knows that he feels like he has returned to more than 20 years ago.

She pushed away the infected person who took to the street and started a riot. The person stabbed her, but it was not until she blocked the door with tables and chairs that she collapsed from exhaustion.

So he could only watch her close her eyes little by little, her breathing gradually disappear, and she lose her warmth.

It was not until many years later, after becoming an infected person, that I finally understood that the so-called infected people were no different from ordinary people at the beginning.

Kelsey...what exactly do you want to tell me?

"Perhaps, I have been lost in the ordinaryness that I long for for too long."

Chen Mo thought.

But there was nothing he could do.

Because it is destined that he is not a hero, because reality will not change for anyone's wishful thinking.

He has changed enough story endings.

The accomplished warrior can no longer wield the sword of his past.

Chen Mo fulfilled the agreement he made with Xiaota when he was a child, but Xiaota did not. She forgot. Now Chen Mo promised to stay with Chen and Xiaomo.

His life will no longer belong to him alone.

"Tallulah..."

Chen Mo gently closed his eyes and slowly put down the last stack of teaching materials.

"Precious, are you there?" Chen Mo suddenly asked.

After a few seconds of silence, a gentle voice sounded in Chen Mo's ears.

【Yes, I'm here. 】

"You think, should I stop him?"

[I analyzed the conversation between you, based on the character model of Operator Shuangxing, and concluded that your chance of successfully persuading her is 2.147%]

"In other words, you have been eavesdropping on our conversation."

[Yes, Dr. Kelsey set my operating program to cover the entire Rhode Island, and the log will record everything that happens on Rhode Island every day. 】

"It's really convenient."

[In a sense...yes]

"Then can you analyze why I met Frost Star here?" Chen Mo asked.

[Of course, because Operator Froststar’s action route was planned by me]

"That's it." Chen Mo said and asked curiously, "Can you tell me the reason?"