Blue Files, there are 100 days left until Mr. disappears

There are also a lot of dolls in the room, some of which I bought with my friends, but more of them were bought by my husband.

Looking back now, she actually had that kind of delusion about her husband before she made her mind clear...

Then her husband's figure suddenly appeared in front of her eyes, as well as those beautiful light gray eyes.

Bai Zhouzi was stunned and smiled bitterly.

(To be precise, he is just a teacher who provides help, not something that belongs only to you, Azusa)

She convinced herself so in her heart.

But she felt indescribable pain and depression.

Memories of harsh training and hard life can fade away;

The sins and mistakes stained on her hands, she wished they could disappear.

The only things left in her hands were her body and her gun.

Just like when she came to Holy Trinity, with a gun on her back and only missions in her eyes, no desire.

But the appearance of her husband changed her.

He always looked at her with a pair of light gray eyes, filled with expectations, sympathy, doubts, and smiles.

He always complained strongly about her ignorant military madness, and she loved to see his anger disappear quickly.

She had hundreds of survival skills at her disposal, but none of them told her how to deal with warmth.

Sometimes, the husband would stare at her silently from behind, his eyes full of love.

She knew she could feel the sight from behind, but she never said it.She had long been unconsciously unable to live without this feeling of being loved.

As a weapon, Shirasu Azusa can complete tasks calmly and efficiently even if no one cares about him.There is nothing she is not good at drilling through battle formations, penetrating and destroying, and no injury can stop her from moving forward.

However, as a human being, Bai Zhouzi cannot live like this.

She needs warmth, needs mutual care, needs recognition, and even more needs someone to tell her in an exact tone that she did nothing wrong when she is so lost that she cannot see herself clearly.

"It's really difficult to live as a human being..."

Bai Zhouzi smiled, suppressing his cries, and pressed his fingers on his cheeks. The calloused fingertips from holding the gun rubbed his skin, making it dry, hard and painful.

Until the tears dripping down from the pale pink and purple eyes flowed all over his face, but the pain was deeper and deeper into his heart.

"Sir, where are you...?"

There was only darkness all around.

She looked hard and listened hard, but she couldn't see or hear anything.

I tried my best to call the person I trusted and missed the most, but there was no response.

Then she lost the strength to stay awake and fell into sleep.

In the dream, it was a battlefield filled with bullets and bullets, a place that was very familiar to Bai Zhouzi.

The angry enemies shot at her, forming a dense web of gunfire.

She relied on her small size and agility to dodge those projectiles.

But she ignored the blind spot behind her.

"boom!"

From the sound of breaking wind behind her, she could tell that the projectile was the mysterious destructive projectile used by her and Saori when they set up a trap to hunt Hoshino.

She was ready for the bullet to penetrate her flesh, but when she opened her eyes, she found that she was unscathed.

However, a cold liquid that was familiar but disgusting to her splashed onto her face.

She looked back and saw the familiar figure.

Yes, sir.

The gentleman who once swore to protect them from wind and rain.

Just like his oath, he blocked the vicious bullet that hit Bai Zhouzi.

He blocked the projectile for her and stumbled down, gritting his teeth but smiling.

There was blood all over his body.

Her pupils suddenly dilated.

His students gathered around her, looked at her coldly, grinned and said, it was you who killed him.

She dropped the gun, shook her head and waved her hands, no, it's not me...

But even she didn't believe it herself.

(Children who grow up in war will eventually destroy all hope for peace)

(It’s a weapon that can be used at will if it loses control. It’s not surprising that it can do cruel things.)

--Do not.

That's not me!

Her eyes showed a crazy look, and the gun returned to her hand. She raised the butt of the gun and was about to smash the skulls of the people surrounding her.

"Don't be like this, Zi..."

You are better than 'her'.

You are better than the person you were before.

He reached out his hand and firmly supported her trembling shoulders and heart overflowing with fear, preventing her from falling into the abyss.

She let go of her hand, feeling the familiar warmth that made her squint her eyes.

Then he turned around and hugged his husband's arms with both hands, and said with a slight cry:

"I'm sorry, but I really don't want to lose you..."

Before she finished speaking, she had already fallen deeply from her dream.

Chapter 044: Day 057·Wooden House ③

It was as if pale sea fog had condensed in my mind, and my thoughts were covered with layers of frozen frost and snow.

The cold sweat on my back had already soaked the bed, waiting for the breeze to blow by and quietly take away the remaining warmth in my body.

Bai Zhouzi lay on his back on the bed, his unfocused pupils dimly reflecting on the wooden ceiling.

The sun couldn't penetrate the thick curtains, and even at noon, the room was as dark as evening.

No matter in dreams or reality, she could not find the warmth of deep attachment.

Her dry lips and throat longed for water, and the bones in her body were sore as if they were falling apart from being in bed for so long. But she actually felt a faint sense of relief from these physical tortures.

——If she endures these pains, can it make her husband feel better?

She knew clearly that this was just a ridiculous delusion, an unrealistic self-comfort.

This is the sequelae of staying with those girls who love fantasy all day long.

But she no longer wanted to be rational.

Can reason heal my husband’s pain?Can it fill the emptiness in her heart?Can it stop the pace of war?Can the sins she committed before be wiped out?

If you can't, then just shut up.

Bai Zhouzi pursed his lips hard, his blank eyes wandering around the dark room.

She thought hard about what she owed her husband, but still didn't know where to start repaying it.

After thinking about it, maybe the only thing Bai Zhouzi is good at is fighting.

So, use the gun in your hand to protect him for the rest of his life, okay?

"Ha ha……"

The girl lying on the bed sighed, and then laughed tiredly.

Isn't it precisely because they lost their husband and everything on the battlefield that they desperately want to use unreasonable methods to pursue the glimmer of hope for their husband's survival?

In the end, it was this selfish or crazy delusion that drove her to keep falling into the dark abyss. Even her friends' persuasion could not make her turn back.

friend……

Then again, does she still have friends?

She shook her head to herself.

Facing Rifumi who was trying to persuade her, all she was left with was stubbornness and determination.

Now that things have come to this, she actually feels a little happy in her heart.

Hifumi must have given up any hope for her. During the confrontation on the boat, she saw Hifumi without saying a word.

"This is good."

She murmured to herself,

"Hifumi, it would be great if you don't get involved with an unknown sinner like me..."

"Think beautifully."

The door of the wooden house was suddenly pushed open, and a familiar voice carried by the cold sea breeze blew into Bai Zhouzi's ears.

The familiar voice made Bai Zhouzi stunned for a while, and he straightened up subconsciously.

Aci Gu Rifumei stood at the door of the open room.

The eyes were red and swollen, and the face was as pale as a corpse.

"Hifumi...!?"

Bai Zhouzi bit his lower lip desperately.

The friendship that she had given up on gradually resurfaced.

One after another, it stung her heart.

Things never go her way.

The more she wanted to escape something, the more she wanted to give up something, in the end it would just circle around like a boomerang and fly back, hitting her hard on the head.

The harsh words and threats she made to Hifumi that day turned into thorns in her heart, causing her to alienate her former friends for various reasonable and willful reasons.

But Hifumi didn't care at all and easily crossed the thorny barrier in her heart.

As if nothing had happened, when Hifumi encountered something, she would naturally talk to Shirazu Azusa.

Bai Zhouzi never thought that his friend could look back.

But Hifumi's subconscious trust, this heart that easily transcended the past, still made Bai Zhouzi's heart drip with blood.

She was still so free-spirited, but she was so open-minded that Bai Zhouzi was left feeling ashamed.

Thinking of this, it became difficult for Bai Zhouzi to speak.

Holding back his dry throat, he swallowed a mouthful of saliva and finally said:

"Hifumi... I... already... you shouldn't have come to see me..."

"enough."

Hifumi stretched out a hand, interrupting her inarticulate speech.

"No matter what concerns you have, just listen to me first."

Bai Zhouzi looked at his friend's face and found that Rifumi's face was pale and tired, and there was an unhealthy look in his eyes.

Bai Zhouzi was shocked.

She knew her friends well, and she had already seen some clues from Hifumi's expression.

She is not here to comfort herself;

Not to preach, or to 'save' oneself——

Hifumi came to seek comfort from her, a sinner.

But why?