Blue Files, there are 100 days left until Mr. disappears

What could make the always optimistic and strong Hifumi feel so confused?

The answer seems simple.

Bai Zhouzi could blurt out the answer immediately.

But she didn't.

She didn't say the person's name.

The pain that had been forgotten for a long time and hidden deep in her heart began to burn like wildfire, burning the world in her heart red.

"Sir, there is no feeling in both legs."

Hifumi grinned and clenched her teeth tightly, making a squeaking sound.

Hearing his friend's words, Bai Zhouzi felt that the blood in his body was getting colder.

"What did you say……?"

Bai Zhouzi opened his mouth, swallowing air unconsciously like a goldfish, straightened up, his eyes were dull.

This face, which had always been calm, calm and cold, was once again stained with sadness.

Bai Zhouzi always thought that if she didn't miss or mention it, then all the emotions that affected her would not exist at all.

But now, those emotions that she had suppressed came to her door in a concentrated way, and sharp thorns appeared one after another, piercing her poor disguise.

"A few days before you...started the war in Holy Trinity, sir, there was already something wrong with your physical examination."

Hifumi said to herself.

"He never told us about the abnormality in his spine, because he had to hold up his body to protect us in the war."

"But Serina secretly gave me Mr.'s physical examination report."

"Actually, his spinal nerves are about to lose consciousness, but he is afraid that we will worry, so he insists on finishing the war before resting..."

"I was really... really... when I knew that he might be paralyzed on the battlefield at any time... I was really scared, really scared..."

"Why, why don't you want to tell us, why do you have to hold on so hard!!!!"

Hifumi's sobs finally turned into a scream of collapse.

Chapter 044: Day 057·Wooden House ④

Bai Zhouzi's fingertips began to get cold.

The cold air was like a winding snake, slowly tracing back to her heart along her blood vessels, passing through her limbs, bringing a pale and cold feeling.

She wanted to make a fist and tighten her fingers, but it seemed as if even the last bit of strength had been taken away from her muscles. The heart-breaking void spread wantonly in her heart, and in the end she couldn't even move her fingers an inch.

Like a soul struggling to climb out of a stone wall, the roots of the wall are covered with thorns, and below the wall is a steep sea cliff. If you jump off, you will be shattered to pieces.

The days when the sky was filled with blood have passed, but the memories still exist in their minds.

"Ughhh..."

Hifumi threw herself into her arms and cried bitterly.

Warm teardrops spread on her chest, and a bitter and salty mist rose up, entering her nasal cavity and spreading over her brain.

Bai Zhouzi lowered his eyes and was speechless for a moment.

True warmth is not seeking fame, not seeking profit, not seeking to show one's own value, but nourishing their lives as gently and silently as air and dew.

Just like the existence of this warmth, it is natural and natural.

The unforgettable feeling of the void lies precisely in the fact that this natural warmth has been broken and taken away, so the world has become empty, unable to look back on the past, let alone look forward to the future.

The huge expectations placed on the husband eventually turned into delusions over a long period of time, swallowing up his life, making him unable and would not deviate from the responsibilities and vows he had set for himself.

Then everything became destined.

The ending had already been written, spread out, and bloody in front of them. No matter howling or crying at it, the writing on it would not change at all.

Bai Zhouzi caressed Hifumi's back numbly, his eyes were empty and lifeless, and he whispered in a low voice:

"It turns out that people who are too persistent in hope will not be happy."

When she said this, her thoughts were as clear and empty as a verse.

Hifumi's body trembled in her arms and she said nothing.

Bai Zhouzi once tried to forget her husband's name. The warm encouragement he gave her has become a taboo that cannot be recalled.

She tried to keep his name covered in dust and disappear in the day-to-day grind of tasks.

Even Shazhi could see that this attempt was extremely unwise.

When his name reappeared in her mind, she realized belatedly that all the moments she spent with him were her entire past.

The sun was setting, and a warm orange-red light shone into the wooden house.

Two girls who had experienced many separations and reunions sat silently in front of the bed.

Although the turmoil of the times can tear apart their friendship and bring them back together again, the real problem between them lies not in the times, but in themselves.

"When I... found Mr., he fell to the ground, supporting his upper body with both hands, and crawling forward with difficulty..."

Hifumi suddenly spoke.

Her tone was calm, as if she was telling a story that had nothing to do with her.

But the corner of her mouth opened into a sharp smile because of the heart-wrenching pain.

"When he saw me, there was pleading in his eyes..."

"He begged me to carry him quietly to the alchemy room without letting other students know. He really couldn't make them worry and panic anymore..."

"I carried him on my back, avoiding the students all the way, and then put him on the operating table in the alchemy craft room.

Sir, he wants to perform emergency surgery on himself there and install a certain 'device' on himself..."

“It’s said to be a temporary external signal source that can replace part of the spine?

I’m not sure, I just know that the only thing I could do at that time was to block his mouth hard to prevent him from spitting out due to the extreme pain..."

"There was blood everywhere, on the operating table. My husband's eyes were about to pop out, and his hands were about to tear through the straps that fixed his wrists."

"I can't do anything, Zi."

"I can't do anything."

Hifumi repeated the images that burned her soul.

Even if revealing it would burn her throat and heart again,

But if she keeps these images in her heart, she may really no longer be herself.

Even though so many things happened between her and Bai Zhouzi, and they experienced so many turbulent times,

In the end, she could only confide these scenes to this friend she trusted.

Apart from holding the back of her head, Bai Zhouzi found that he could not say a word of comfort.

She covered her tired brows with her hands, her sore nose twitched, and intermittent airflow blew out from her lips.

Since when did they take that fleeting warmth for granted?

And since when did they become obsessed with endless youth stories and no longer pay attention to Kivotos' true appearance, nor their own real growth?

The sharp questions scattered out pierced the barrier of self-motivation over and over again.

Planting the seeds of doubt in their hearts, bit by bit destroyed the psychological comfort they worked so hard for.

In the quiet time, only Hifumi's soft and bitter laughter echoed in the lonely wooden house.

"Xiao Zi, do you remember the day when Saori and the others attacked the Eden Treaty Grounds?"

Bai Zhouzi opened his eyes wide.

remember.

Of course she did.

Faced with Saori, who was carrying hatred and murderous thoughts, and the seemingly endless army of "Justiana Saints",

Rifumei stands on the ruins, with the most shining posture, launching a resistance against unreasonable violence and hatred, raising her arms and shouting a shocking declaration of youth.

That was the flash of light that Hifumi, an ordinary girl, had accumulated over a long period of time. It made the sky clear and hatred faded away in front of her.

But now, this young girl who claims to be ordinary but whose heart is unimaginably tough has finally reached her moment of turmoil.

Bai Zhouzi seemed unaware, as if his mind was separated from his body, and he stared at Hifumi unconsciously.

"I still firmly believe in what I said that day."

Rifumei smiled sweetly.

"After hard work, there will be rewards. After tears, there will be laughter. I want to create a happier world for everyone... I will not lie to this belief."

"It's just,"

Hifumi smiled, with a sharp sting in her smile,

"Only now, I understand that this world is not as perfect as promised at the beginning."

"Good order requires energy to maintain, and a stable environment requires paying a price to mediate conflicts."

"If you want to make this world ideal, you have to pay a certain 'price' and burn a certain 'fuel'..."

"Don't you understand yet, Xiaozi?"

She laughed so hard that her heart ached,

"For that dream, sir, he used himself as 'fuel' and burned it."

Bai Zhouzi was awakened by the stinging smile on Hifumi's face.

She shook Hifumi's shoulders repeatedly and shouted:

"That's not your fault, Hifumi!!"

"I know."

Hifumi shook her head,

"I know it was sir's choice."

"So, if he wants to leave, what can we complain about, Xiaozi?"

Bai Zhouzi's words were choked in his throat.

She has experienced the moments of life and death many times.

However, facing that person's departure, she still felt only reluctance in her heart.

Under the setting sun, Hifumi wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes with her fingers.

Then he sighed deeply, deeply.

"Don't you think we can't go on like this?"

"you mean……?"

Rifumei's voice was so plain that it made her ears numb:

"We must understand the operating model and operating rules of Kivotos. It doesn't matter even if we can't do anything for the time being, and it doesn't matter even if we can't think of a way to change it for the time being..."

“But most importantly, don’t stop thinking.”

Hifumi glanced at her former friend,

Her words seemed to be spoken to Bai Zhouzi, but also seemed to be spoken to herself:

"If we stop thinking about it, we're just wasting his life and wasting his effort."

Chapter 045: Day 056·Trinity College①

Loneliness spreads like a tide in the cell called the room.

It was a kind of boundless and severe pain. When you look up, you can only touch the darkness and cold. No matter how strong your fighting spirit is, there is no way to resist it.

Empty power cannot solve everything. After all, the effects of force are mutual.