After swapping bodies with green tea sister

"You like me as a brother, I know, I also like you as a sister, to be precise, every kind of you. After realizing that you like me, I once expected to break through human relations with you, and begged you to take the initiative... But, I feel so tired now, I don't dare to think if I'll be more tired if I'm really with you... I don't dare to expect extravagantly."

"Zhili, sister,"

He looked back complicatedly, then walked away with a cloud of flowers, and the last words echoed in the air:

"I will abandon that kind of love in the future...you...so you can do it for yourself..."

That sentence was always lingering in my almost numb ears, and it took me a lot of effort to understand all the meaning in it.He was the first to express his love, to reveal his care and fragility, so the game of rock-paper-scissors was finally over, the scissors broke the cloth, but what was the spoils I won?

Ridiculous... dignity?

Ridiculous... escape from shame?

Or ridiculous...comfort zone?

My intuition told me that I should catch up now, and my intuition also told him that I was waiting for me to catch up. Even if I was scolded by him, ignored by him, or cut my flesh with a blunt knife every sentence, I still had to catch up.But this intuition that forced the body gave birth to more fear, which is a very inexplicable emotion. The fear is very complex, confusing, and inexplicable, and it may even be only fear itself.

I thought of ostriches—big creatures that stick their heads in the sand when they're in danger. "It's not dangerous if you can't see it." What a ridiculous and stupid theory.But in the animal world and in the human heart, there are such brain circuits, and there are countless idiots who have developed such absurd and stupid habits from childhood to adulthood.

After all, compared to facing it bravely... escaping is shameful, but useful and comfortable.

It's like being pointed at a single-parent family when you were a child and simply making up a "fake father". It's like being bullied and you only need Ah Q to recite the sentence "30 years in Hedong and 30 years in Hexi". arrogant.Countless pasts build a character, and that character makes choices similar to those countless pasts.

This is destiny.

At the last moment when Mu Qiuyun left that room, something suddenly became clear to me. There was a smile on the corner of my mouth in the mirror. As for whether it was self-deprecation or others, only God knows.I found that I might not be suitable for him. I am a lonely person. I really can’t learn to take the initiative. I really always wait for others to spoil me and love me in my mind. Even if others really do that, I am still paranoid. , There is almost no sense of security.

Not only am I not right for him, I'm not right for every man or woman.Falling in love with someone like me is a disaster at all, harming others and self-immolation, playing with fire and self-immolation, maybe the most suitable is to be the mistress of many people.

At least that way, you don't have to be afraid of being discarded, and you don't have to scratch your head for fear of not getting it.

Forget it.

Forget it...

Text Chapter 110 Two

After that day.

The relationship between me and Mu Qiuyun has since returned to "normal".He will still give me extra lessons, will still bring me food, and will still protect me and take care of me like a good brother.But I know... some passages have been closed in each other's hearts.

He's tired; I don't want to hurt him any more.A delicate balance was thus established. No one noticed the change between me and him. Everyone still felt: Hey, there are the model siblings from the Mu family who have a good relationship.

At the end of April, the whole third year of high school began to sprint with all its strength. Mu Qiuyun seemed to be tightening a string. I could predict that on the day of "playing the string", he would fly out hot and unstoppable like an arrow wrapped in a raging fire. , Fly far away, and hit the bull's-eye in his eyes.

But I'm not one of his targets.Where I stand and where he is going are two futures.

Lopsided.

Just like every pair of normal brothers and sisters in the world.

As for the others, Li Fang would find me for a meal from time to time, seeing me more and more frequently.I was very happy at first, so happy.But soon thinking of Mu Qiuyun's words of "avoiding suspicion", I felt that it was indeed not very good.But if I really want to alienate Li Fang, I hesitate, feel sad, and reluctant.In the end, it went on in a daze.

Of course, I am sure: Li Fang has absolutely no other meaning.Many things can be seen from his eyes, he just wants to spoil me as his daughter, but it is inevitable... I can't help but spoil me more and more.My response was also enthusiastic, and I tried my best to help him heal some anxieties at home and work.This kind of mutual contribution and return can't tell the benign and malignant thrusts in the process of promotion, and I can't tell what the final result will be.

Occasionally, I will miss An Jianchen and Meng Shang—these two guys haven't seen me for a long time.After taking the initiative to greet you on WeChat, Meng Chang's words fell silent, An Jianchen's response was extremely slow, and the core meaning was only one: "Wait a minute..."

I asked him if something happened to Meng Chang.He replied to me, okay, just painting.

And I didn't really doubt it.After all, I have known it before, and I heard that when those real bosses try their best to paint a picture, they really have to shut themselves down for a few weeks or even a month.Oil paintings are longer.

There is no expectation, and there is no turmoil. There is sadness hidden in it, but it will be fine to suppress it.That's the only good thing about Silly Lehe's personality. When he's in a bad mood, he hits three hundred, and after the fight, he patronizes others.Rubbish mid laner, don’t come to help me, let me send a blood; rubbish ADC, no output in the later stage, I don’t know if Kirito is not strong in the later stage-then it will evolve into six people spraying me one, and then it will evolve into thirteen people Spray me one.

So exciting, what love is there?

But if I don't talk about it, it doesn't mean that others don't want to talk about it. After talking about it that day, more and more girls gathered around Mu Qiuyun.Later, even in make-up classes, female licking dogs often came to ask for warmth and concern. Mu Qiuyun adhered to the attitude of "don't refuse, don't agree, you work hard", which is very ambiguous, and that morality is even lower than when she was green tea.

One day I couldn't help laughing and asked: "Brother, this feels so comfortable, how about I also learn how to raise a few spare tires to lick dogs?"

Of course, I wanted to hear him scold me, I wanted to hear him angry, and I wanted to use this method to tease his attention, but he glanced at me and said:

"Then you learn."

Learn a chicken.

Lao Tzu's integrity is not as low as yours.

After cursing from the bottom of my heart, I suddenly felt that it was boring to listen to make-up lessons.I don't want to go.It returned to the state of skipping classes every three days and being too lazy to go to school.When the head teacher called, I blocked him directly, which caused Li Fang to be questioned by the school from time to time.When I was in a bad mood, I forced Li Fang to come over to accompany me. He was embarrassed, so I lied to him: "If I don't come, I will go to the nightclub to play."

Most of them are jokes and threats, of course, but there is probably a little bit of feeling lonely, and there is a little bit of wanting to see it.I want to go to places with many people, and I want to be surrounded by sound and light stimulation and various hormones. I no longer want to eat or sleep. There are not many things I can think about, really not many...

——But if I really want to go, I definitely dare not.It's so messy, so dirty, how can a good boy go there.The most important thing is that Li Fang would break my leg when I went... That time he just told me "never go to that kind of place again", but I swore, and I asked him to supervise me. month wheelchair.He said he definitely would.Well, let's just believe that he is willing.

This time is day by day, soon to the end of April.

Another monthly exam, I got 510, which is a rare good score.For this reason, Li Fang wanted to reward me with something. After thinking about it for a long time, I asked him for a top-end alien game notebook.

He smiled and asked, "Why do you suddenly like such boyish things?"

I was noncommittal, and I hesitated, and if I really wanted to say it, I couldn't understand it.But I also found out about this.Those young girls' hearts that were surging suddenly ebbed day by day in such days.Along with those extravagant expectations towards Mu Qiuyun gradually disappeared.

Nursing care is becoming more and more lazy, playing games is becoming more and more diligent, daily attire almost eliminates skirts, and is simple and neutral trousers and tops.I also especially love fried chicken and Bing Kuo Luo.It seems that except for being too lazy to go to school and having multiple aunts, life seems to be the same as the game otaku life before?

In terms of sexual orientation... handsome men still have sexual desires, but suddenly they no longer want to lick, and girls have no desire to lick, but they are becoming more and more enthusiastic about women's big guys.I even added a few little brothers dressed as women on the Internet, pretending to be rich and raising wild men. It was so hard for me that I had to make excuses like "I'm in a meeting" or "at the company" when the other party wanted to video...

Zhao Mengjia said that I am getting colder and colder, even a little "straight"?In fact, I just become more and more lazy to pretend to be a girl.In other words, I suddenly lost the interest in performing the image of a "good woman" in my mind.

The reason for this came to me after I thought about it carefully.On the one hand, the "cute sister" is based on the psychological state of Mu Qiuyun's "most dependent on Oni sauce"; This thing doesn't hurt that much.

this trend.

Don't bother to stop it.

Anyway, I'm not a woman.

Whether it's regressive masculinity or extra layers... doesn't matter.

[Time is meant to be wasted; the so-called youth is born to be wasted light. ] Laziness and madness Zhili replaced with the above signature, and then fell into crazy laziness.Games + staying up late makes the spirit become super haggard unconsciously.Then one day, Moments saw a travel photo of Mu Qiuyun and three girls going out.

Subconsciously throw the phone out.

Not mad, really, I'm not mad.It's so good to get together and get separated, we have been entangled for so long, we should let each other go.

Tears are really just because of eye pain.

Pick up the phone, dial the WeChat number, "beep - beep -", "Hello, brother? I saw your circle of friends, are you going out to relax before the college entrance examination? Don't be too stressed~~ By the way...which one Is it your girlfriend?"

There was a long silence.

"Neither," he said.

I suddenly breathed a sigh of relief, and then slapped myself on the thigh: "Relax, he has nothing to do with you anymore!"

...But I heard the other side say:

"This is my girlfriend."

Then a photo was sent: very lively, very temperamental, and very beautiful.It just looks a bit old, definitely not a high school student, and the make-up and outfit are quite mature. Looking at it, it looks like an Internet celebrity engaged in film and television.

The mobile phone flew out again under the action of gravity and indescribable force.

This time I was not so lucky, I hit the corner of the bed, the screen was broken, and the screen was completely black, so I had a good gameover on my phone.

So, falling in love is troublesome and costly, and I'm not happy... What love is in a dead house?Wouldn't it be good to be lazy?snort……!I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored!Forget about Mu Qiuyun playing games!

I beat numbly for a day and a night, no one took care of me this time, and when I stopped, my throat was so thirsty, my stomach was empty, and the stomach acid seemed to corrode my internal organs.Tired and unable to sleep, he slumped in bed.At this time, the doorbell rang and I opened the door. I was surprised to find that it was Aunt Siji who came to pick me up... Looking up, it turned out that it was already dawn.A night of cultivating immortals made my body sleepy and exhausted, but I was anesthetized by the low tide of emotions, and I suddenly thought:

Let's go play with Meng Chang...

Is it convenient for him at this time?I don't have a mobile phone, so I can't ask.However, it is estimated that it is "inconvenient" to ask, and the rebellious psychology suddenly arises.I said to Aunt Si Ji, "Take me to the nursing home last time."

Swaying all the way.

The first time I got out of the car, I saw the boy again. The boy's eyes lit up, and he rushed over pushing the wheelchair. I covered my mouth, "I didn't bring any snacks today." But he smiled, "It's okay! There are fairies without snacks." Sister!"

I laughed at myself, "I'm not a fairy sister. I'm a witch."

The young man laughed happily: "Sister Fox!"

"Yes, sister vixen." I also giggled, walked over, patted his head and said with emotion, "From now on...don't fall in love with vixen..."

The young man seemed to understand and nodded, but blinked again: "But... my sister is so beautiful, it's hard to remember..."

I think this sentence is very reasonable, not the point of "pretty", but the point of "difficult to remember".In a sense, Mu Qiuyun is also my "fox spirit". The two fox spirits twisted the whole story, but finally, it came to an end.

Suddenly wanted to go up and inform Meng Chang - I don't want that painting anymore.

With this thought in mind, the farewell boy quickly went up to the fourth floor.When I arrived at 406, I almost called out and pushed the door, "Ni..."——then I froze suddenly.

no one.

This place is empty.

The sudden cold from the soles of my feet, some kind of anticipation that I had ignored floated in front of my eyes at this moment, and I frantically searched for the boxes, drawing boards, and daily necessities that Meng Shang supposedly put here.But, there was nothing, the ward was completely empty, I was dumbfounded, and glanced at the scene in front of me.

Before Aunt Si Ji left, I went back to her and borrowed her phone.I can't remember An Jianchen's phone number, but I remember someone's phone number.I called Lao Wang and managed to get it from her. I even lost my temper when I asked her side by side.Dial it again... "Du-dou--" is like a death-threatening bell.

However, I can't get through.

My heart was empty and confused, what happened?Are you in danger?In the end, in the end...

Afterwards, he spent most of the next day calling An Jianchen's number, buying a new mobile phone temporarily, and retrieved Meng Shang's original number, but it became empty.An Jianchen's phone sometimes had a bad signal, and sometimes no one answered it. In short, he couldn't make a call at all... until 11:30 in the middle of the night.

Finally connected.

Accompanied by a loud current sound.

"Hello? Zhili?" The signal over there was very poor, and the voice over there was a little fuzzy and distorted.

"An Jianchen!" I whispered anxiously and coldly, and An Jianchen's breathing stopped for a moment, "Where's Meng Chang?" My voice trembled.

After a few seconds of silence, "Have you been there?"

"Ah."

"He's not there."

"That's..."

"Alive, but far away, where he wants to go. People with ALS are doomed to two endings, either bad luck, dying of respiratory failure after treatment fails, or good luck, relying on a ventilator and a wheelchair Spending the rest of his life in paralysis and pain...Meng Chang chose the third ending."

I can vaguely guess what.

—a certain kind of unique empathy.

"So he..." His throat was a little blocked.

Text Chapter 110 Chapter Three

The so-called time, the so-called dream, the so-called life...

An Jianchen told me an interesting story.

"Once upon a time there was a boy who liked a girl, but the girl loved his brother. He did countless things for the girl, but the girl was still as cold as ice to him.

He asked the girl what she wanted, and the girl said she wanted to go to heaven, and the boy was stunned and frustrated because he couldn't.The girl changed her request, saying that she wanted to see the dodo, and the boy was frustrated because the dodo had long been extinct.Then the girl finally said, "This doesn't work, that doesn't work either, then I want to see icebergs—this is much easier, but it's not so convenient to go to the North Pole, and the girl is afraid, so she delays."

One day, the boy was about to die, and finally remembered that there was still a big thing to do.It happened that the girl became very gentle to him, so he wanted to go to the North Pole, draw himself into the iceberg, and give it to the girl.He estimated that he would not be able to return this wave, so he entrusted a friend to help deceive people, creating the illusion that he died a natural death.It's a pity that the friend is too lazy to lie.As soon as the girl called, he confessed. "

This story is obviously about me, Meng Chang, and An Jianchen.

I had one reaction after hearing this:

"Damn! Is he abusive? He is committing suicide! Why don't you stop him!!!"

An Jianchen said with a trace of sadness and indifference, "'What's the difference between waiting to die and committing suicide? Living and blooming, each has its own choice.' He persuaded me with these words. I respect his choice, and I can only respect."

"Then... where are you?" I suddenly noticed that there were waves on his side.

"Isfjord," An Jianchen said with a smile, "Meng Shang, ghost spirit, set off five days earlier than he told me. But he doesn't know, I can actually fly. As a friend, you can't just look at him alone People suffer in the ice and snow. As for you, don’t worry about it. Meng Chang’s painting of you and your brother is not finished yet, and he wants to paint it well. I will send it to you then.”

"Wait, hey, you, you let Meng Chang answer the phone, hey!"

When I was panicking, there was a small burst of electric noise on the phone, and then the voice was empty, nothing rang over there, and it hung up again after a while.Then there was repetition, repetition... aimless, slow and fruitless repeated dialing.Tried until the early morning of the next day, the phone was connected again.

"Hello? Zhili...don't try it. I'm going out to sea, the signal is poor. There's nothing to say. This is Meng Chang's choice. Not everyone is lucky enough to live a full life, but anyone can." Choose to do what you think is gorgeous in your heart. He...is braver and more free and easy than you. Maybe you should think about it."

"Damn it! I don't care what you have! An Jianchen, I'll tell you! You're fucking tied up! Bring Meng Chang back for me too! Hurry up! That snake skin! I don't want to look at the iceberg now! I don't want to look at the iceberg anymore! Look at Mengshang! Look at Mengshang! Look at Mengshang!" Mu Zhili started to roar.

——However, the bad signal interrupted the call again.

The young meow is dead.

The rest of the anger and resentment were all suffocated in his throat, slowly brewing into sobs that were still on the verge of talking.

I was really scared, really scared.Meng Chang wants to die... In fact, it's not that I don't understand his thinking, I just can't accept it, and I can't accept the reality that a friend is about to die.

I didn't know who to tell about this matter, so I subconsciously found the phone and called Mu Qiuyun.After weeping on the phone, Mu Qiuyun's lazy tone gradually became dignified, and told me that he would come over soon.At this time, the mentality collapsed at once.