i was my mistake

What stands in his way is the thorn called time.

Many thoughtful words finally turned into a deep sigh.

Wan Qing once again doubted whether the changes she made were correct.

Perhaps my father would live in such a daze forever, only being sober at rare times.

Is it better to live like this than to die?

She doesn't know the answer.

There are many things in this world that have no answers.

She scratched her long hair, looked at the moonlight that was still unwilling to shine on her body, and let out another long sigh.

"Even if I go back to the past from the future, what things can I change? After the change, will it be better or worse? Many things, is it better to change or not to change?" She couldn't help asking Moonlight Talk, as if the other party can give yourself an answer.

But moonlight is moonlight, even though it is cold and bright, as pure as if it does not contain any impurities.

——But it will always just watch silently like this, and will not give any answer to the talker, requester, or questioner.

"Dad, do you know why I hate you who seem to be escaping from reality recently?" Even though she knew that her father might not listen, she still couldn't help whispering, "When I jumped off the building, I also wanted to escape the whole world." The world, avoiding this world that does not bring me warmth, I have many mistakes, but I feel that this world... Oh, this world is more wrong.

"But even so, so what? Even if I'm given a chance to change my future, and even change the world, I still can't do many things. Destiny, is it really in my hands...

"Good night."

……

16. New Neighbors

Ye Chen had a dream.

I dreamed that I was holding a board and drifting in the boundless sea.

There was no land to be seen, only the few clouds to keep him company.

Until he heard a somewhat hoarse singing voice coming into his ears.

He tried to find it, but he couldn't see the singer, nor could he hear what she was singing.

It just felt very warm and gentle, like a lullaby hummed softly by his mother when she hugged her and coaxed him to sleep.

He opened his eyes little by little, and the vast sea was frozen into a picture, and he was torn apart little by little by the world in front of him.

She saw a young girl sitting on the window sill with her back to the rising sun.

The morning light illuminated her outline extraordinarily brightly, but her face was rather blurred.

She shook her legs, slightly opened her pink and soft lips, and hummed a melodious melody with her smoothie-like voice.

Ye Chen didn't interrupt her, but just listened quietly.

He swayed from side to side, as if beating the beat of this soothing, poetic song.

"The bottom of the frosted glass bottle can't be seen through no matter how hard it is... swallowed by the cold dust, tossing and turning, unable to sleep... Actually, if you get dirty, I will wipe it clean for you, but if you don't want to look at me again, Then I won't be able to fly..." The tone gradually rose, and then slowly fell in silence, "...the world changed from color to black and white, and I couldn't hear any sound except tinnitus..."

For some reason, no matter how much Wan Qing expresses her hatred for the future world, regret for her failure, or the gnashing of teeth that wants to kill all meat eaters, her feelings are not as deep and strong as her current one.

It seems that those emotional cynicism and yin and yang strangeness are just a layer of camouflage.

Such a sad woman is enough to make him forget that she is his future self.

But the sadness also reveals a bit of strength without the help of others. If someone stepped forward to hug her tightly at this time, I'm afraid they would just get a sneer of disdain.

She always just feels that she doesn't need anyone's help, and no one can help herself.

She will be arrogant and even more inferior, like a complex of many extreme contradictions.

She is that complicated.

Only the sadness hidden in the bottom of my heart that does not require anyone's sympathy is so real.

She slowly retracted her gaze from the ceiling, landed on the big round bed, and saw Ye Chen who had woken up.

The sadness flickering in the eyes just now disappeared without a trace, and was replaced by a somewhat playful smile: "Oh, wake up, the sun is drying the ass."

"What... was that song just now?"

"A Japanese song from the future, by Kana Betsuno—I sang the translated lyrics."

"It sounds great."

"Haha, it's because of the good voice of this voice." She laughed triumphantly, "After listening to some songs for a long time, I will gradually be able to sing them myself."

"Actually, I practiced it myself, otherwise how could I remember it so clearly."

"That's right." Wan Qing jumped down from the window sill, her petite body didn't make too much noise, "Go to sleep if you want to, school starts tomorrow, take a day off today to recharge your spirits."

"What about you?"

"Me? I'm too lazy to make breakfast today and I plan to go out for a stroll."

"Then I'll go too, let's eat outside by the way?"

"It's up to you." Wan Qing didn't straighten her messy clothes, leaving half of her belly button exposed, and lazily opened the door, "I'm going to wash up first."

"Then call me when you're done washing..." Ye Chen lay down again, and when he thought about the start of school tomorrow, he felt that this big bed was so comfortable that it made people want to just sleep like this, never wake up.

He felt that he hadn't slept for too long, he just closed his eyes when the door opened again, and Wan Qing, who had already finished washing, asked him to wash his face and brush his teeth.

"Your hair is messy again."

"You come." Her answer was simple.

"...I can't come every time, can I?"

"Anyway, you have short hair and you don't need to take care of it. It's much more convenient than mine."

"...Then you learn it yourself, I don't know how, I just comb from top to bottom."

"trouble."

"... Letting you be a girl really wronged you." Ye Chen imitated Wan Qing's usual tone, and also squinted at her with a bit of yin and yang.

"I'm not wronged. Being a woman has a lot of benefits. Of course, the benefits can't be all taken up, so the troublesome parts are also quite troublesome."

"You know that too."

"It's annoying, I'll do it myself."

Ye Chen recalled the situation when Wan Qing thought it was troublesome, combed her hair a few times, and planned to go out when she looked almost ready, couldn't help but twitched the corners of her mouth: "Forget it, I'll do it..."

His washing method is the same as Wan Qing's in a hurry. After a "clinking" collision in the bathroom, he ran out quickly, holding a cheap comb bought at a stall in his hand: "Comb your hair and comb your hair." !"

Wan Qing, on the other hand, was already sitting in the living room, with her long hair loosely loose.

In fact, her hair is of good quality. Even if she doesn't take care of it, there are almost no branches, it just looks a little messy.

And in order to save money, she didn't buy conditioner and shampoo at all. Now the whole family washes their hair directly with a piece of special soap.

It was a medicated soap from S City, which made her hair smell a little like traditional Chinese medicine, but it was surprisingly not unpleasant, and even had a minty fragrance.

Ye Chen held up her long hair and combed it carefully from top to bottom.

"Does it hurt?"

"good."

"now what?"

"fine."

The messy long hair became straight after he patiently combed it. Coupled with the indescribable majesty that seemed to be everywhere, she looked like a rich lady with good academic performance.

However, in fact, she, like Ye Chen, belongs to the ranks of scumbags - even if it is better, it is also limited.

Seven or eight hairs fell on the ground, Ye Chen picked them up with his hands and threw them into the trash can.

"Your hair is everywhere in the house. Those long hairs are all entangled on the broom and can't be removed."

"That's the trouble with girls."

"I don't think you're troublesome at all. It's me doing hygiene, okay?"

Wan Qing tilted her head and cast a sideways glance at him: "Who told me to be a senior, the junior just has to work for the senior, heh."

"Then shouldn't you take care of the younger generation?"

"How can I not take care of you?" As she said, she walked to the door barefoot and took out the pair of small canvas shoes from the shoe cabinet—she still prefers these kind of shoes to the hard leather shoes. Soft shoes.

"How can you take care of me?" Ye Chen's sandals were placed by the door, he hooked them with his feet, bent down and pulled the Velcro twice, and put them on.

"Without me, do you think it would be so smooth? Do you know why I was so exhausted before the third year of high school?"

"what?"

"The house." She smiled contemptuously, "And the factory manager even deducted some buyout money that should have been given to my father - he didn't even want to give it back at that time, he just gave me a small amount of money and let the matter go. "

"Did you...or me, fight back then?"

"Fighting ass, you're submissive like a bitch, and I got part of the money because an old worker couldn't stand it anymore and helped me talk." Wan Qing lowered her eyelids and looked at him, "Tell me, I love you Isn't that enough care?"

"Okay, okay, then I really thank you..."

"Click, squeak—"

The door was pulled open, and by some coincidence, the door on the opposite side of the corridor was also opened.

Four eyes meet two eyes.

It was a girl in a green gauze dress, about the same age as Wan Qing.

There is a bit of purity and clarity between the brows.

She smiled and nodded to Wan Qing, but Wan Qing didn't respond.

Ye Chen smiled at her a little embarrassedly.

It was just an ordinary meeting, and the atmosphere was a little delicate.

Wan Qing subconsciously avoided her gaze and landed in the room behind her.

There was a large suitcase and some unopened packages in the room, and there were not many signs of occupancy in the room.

Either you are planning to move, or you just moved in.

She gave another friendly smile, then gently closed the door, and walked quickly towards the elevator.

"Wan Qing, Wan Qing? Why are you in a daze." Ye Chen pushed her body.

"Um... um? Um..."

"You know her?"

"know."

"Huh - did you ever?" Ye Chen showed an excited look, and he didn't know why he was so happy.

"What are you thinking about? I just met a few times in the third year of high school, talked to me a few times, and then persuaded me to go to another high school for another year..." Wan Qing was neither sad nor happy, "See you later When she was in a company, she was the manager."

"Were you an ordinary employee at that time?"

"...No, I was just a delivery man at the time."

There is also food delivery in this era, but it is not as convenient as the food delivery platform in the future - now every household writes their phone numbers on the billboards. The so-called ordering food delivery is to call a certain company and ask him to deliver it to himself. It's just coming over, and generally it won't be sent too far away.

"Oh..." What Ye Chen understood was the kind of food delivery person nowadays, and he nodded half-understood.

"I just didn't expect that she lived in this apartment... What a coincidence."

"Could it be that you have become a girl and still can't forget her?" Ye Chen asked sourly.

"I've said it all. I haven't had much contact with her. We just chatted with each other when we were bored. She is a student in the top class, and in the top class, she is still among the top few." .”

"Oh, we are all assigned to Class Five..."

"Same as before, in the last class, a bunch of ignorant guys gathered together, and there is no clean place to study hard."

"Should I say hello to her? When the time comes, you can ask her to teach you what you don't understand. It's so convenient to live in the opposite door."

"There are plenty of opportunities—you kid won't fall in love with her, will you?"

"Are you jealous?" Ye Chen was a little happy.