my monster girlfriends

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20th Birthday Essays - Jokes in the World

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When I typed out the first line, it happened to be the twelfth day of the first month of the lunar calendar. Looking at the date, it happened to be February 23rd, my birthday in the Gregorian calendar. I think it's a coincidence.

Before writing this text, I was worried that I would not write a similar style... I am not to say very responsible for the text I want to show to others, but at least I will be more cautious, so I read Banana’s Miscellaneous Notes— —This should be the Internet author I know who likes to write similar articles the most. Every time I see his upright sentence "Today, there is no change to ask for a monthly ticket", I will be shocked...

However, after reading a few articles, I found that even Banana, when writing miscellaneous notes, may not have any style of words and sentences. How much better is the running account diary—I feel a little complicated when I know this situation. If I compare it, it’s like an otaku who suddenly knows that Rem can also shit...

However, since this is the case, then I don't have to show my usual thoughts, just write and write casually.

Someone helped me clean up my room before, and I didn’t know where to find an old notebook. The cover was damp, and there was a bad smell inside. Anyway, I had nothing to do, so I lay on the bed with her and read it.

Turning to the first page, black and bold fonts were painted on the blank paper. I recognized my handwriting like a turtle at a glance (even now it doesn’t look much better), and the above sentence is like this .

"Weakness is Original Sin - Introduction."

You can imagine how I felt when I saw this sentence...

The book that makes people not want to read after opening the first page, except for homework, can only be a novel about the second disease written when a kid...

At that time, my first thought was to ignore the crap, and my second thought was to immediately promote it... But my family was very interested in this, not only did not let me tear it up, but also To force me to watch together.

... This is where the younger siblings of the family can be reflected.

At the beginning of the article, I saw this sentence-"The days are like this, day after day without wind and waves, walking slowly, taking away the fragrance of white magnolia flowers, and taking away the beautiful red clothes of Fenghe in June, The green maple leaves of a tree are dyed red, and the faint fragrance of plum blossoms floats in the dim moonlight."

With my literary talents back then, I should not be able to write this sentence, so it is likely that I copied it from somewhere. Of course, the possibility that I have painstakingly suppressed this description cannot be ruled out...

In short, since then, I have had the habit of copying good sentences here and there, and I still have this habit even now.

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If I think about it carefully, I should be 11 years old when I became interested in novels.

I don’t remember the specific process clearly, but I just remember that I was very obsessed with it at the time. The first novel was "Online Game: Asura", the author was that Martian Gravity... I didn’t care much about the interaction with the girl in it, I liked it more It is the setting of the battle, but Mars belongs to the type that likes to describe the interaction between the heroine and the hero (interaction in various senses), which led to my thoughts at the time being similar to those of Jotaro Kujo——Yaka? wash!

Smelly bitch.jpg

——The idea of ​​writing a novel came about after reading this book.

I'm not a very action-oriented type, and of course, I'm not so procrastinating... It's actually quite arbitrary whether to start doing something right away.

Maybe it's luck, maybe it's misfortune, the idea of ​​"wanting to write a novel" happened to hit a point where I was most motivated to act.

Just do what you say and do, ignoring the author's own level, the environmental requirements for creating this kind of behavior are actually not high. A pen and a notebook are enough. Therefore, I took the time in class and devoted myself to creating.

My grades were good at the time, and I didn't play with my mobile phone or read novels. Even if I kept bowing my head, the teacher at most thought I was doing homework in other subjects-although I was a little disqualified, it was obviously not to the point of "reprimanding".

After writing like this for a week, before I took the initiative to reveal myself, a classmate found out about my situation... She asked me what I was writing, and I replied truthfully, and then she joined in the fun to take a look.

It is worth explaining that she was a study committee member in the class at the time, and she was an official in junior high school. Of course, she has no power. You all know that the selection process is basically the teacher reading the name according to the report card... Even so, it can explain her grades .

— At least better than me.

Then, she doesn't look at the plot, but only finds faults in the writing, for example, this sentence has a grammatical flaw, and this sentence cannot be connected with this sentence... I was so annoyed by the corrections at the time, but she never tired of it, Come over to discuss this matter with me every time after class, and sometimes meet the teacher, and then ask "Are you talking about the topic?", and we both nodded without changing faces...

This is the tacit understanding shared by all the students, and we were praised for it in class, and our two classmates worked hard to study blah blah blah blah blah...

...No matter how this memory brings me feelings, for me now, these experiences are still good... Until now, I will subconsciously read the article again, read it in my heart, and then I will read it differently Pick out the correct sentences, ponder for a while, and add or delete a few words.

The only thing that remains the same is that I still care more about "beauty of form and meaning" than the neatness of the sentence structure. If a sentence is neat but cannot be read smoothly, I may not change it; Shu Chang, I may not change.

It's a pity that the banquet ended and the tea was cold, but no one bothered me about it.

——Speaking in this way may give people a feeling of "missing the old lover", but frankly speaking, I had absolutely no such thoughts at the time, not at all, this is really beautiful Memories, but there is no pink rendering.

As for whether she has, I don't know, girls are always more mature than boys, so I can't speculate.

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It is said to be writing about past experiences, but the writing unknowingly focuses on "people"... probably because I like to write about "people", the same things, all kinds of people—— Because of this, I like to write those "old plots", in other words, "routines".

But I personally don’t think this is a routine. There is nothing new under the sun, and those novel words will eventually get old. Only “people” are different... Even if there is a shadow of the past, they are not the same person. .

Even in the same encounter, Batman and the Joker are different from Lu Mingfei and Erika... This is the theory I advocate.

...It seems that there is more useless nonsense.

In short, then wish yourself a happy birthday.

2021.2.23, 00:59 am, Uncle Huang's pen

People from the past, people from the present: NO.18 Psychological Master Bai Yin

"Your question just now was, 'In the next period of time, should I continue to run the mission of the strategy bureau, or should I take a break in the academy'...Is it?" Mr. Fang Yan thought for a while, "Then my answer is...both Both."

"What do you mean? Why can't I understand?" Brother Liu asked in a low voice.

Miao Wuwu replied in a low voice: "It's okay, I am the same."

Not to mention the naive duo, Bai Yin understood Fang Yanjun's meaning in seconds:

"It means that you will not only run the mission, but also stay in the academy? Your mission target this time is in the school?"

After he finished speaking, he stopped and thought for a few seconds, "Hmm...did any strange murders happen in school during the half month I was away?"

"I won't ask why you use the answer of 'I'm not here for half a month', which is likely to make me very uneasy..."

Brother Liu stared blankly, and made a quotation mark: "You...why do you use 'again'?"

"Of course it's because we almost had a relationship before." Bai Yin said, "Probably when I was in high school... There was a boy in the next class who made a heart shape with candles under the girls' dormitory and yelled for half an hour, Only then did I learn that the girl who was going to confess to her had gone out to open a room with someone else... Oh yes, the latter sentence was yelled by the girl's best friend in front of the entire dormitory building."

"Then?" Mr. Fang Yan raised his interest, "If I remember correctly, what you said just now should be 'almost happened'."

"Then the next day, when the dean learned about this, he asked me, who is the most popular (at least on the surface), to talk to this male classmate and enlighten me."

Bai Yin took a sip of tea and moistened his throat, "What about heart-to-heart talk? I'm good at this. Anyway, after some words, I managed to get him to give up his dangerous idea of ​​finding a chance to stab that couple to death."

"That's good." Brother Liu said.

Bai Yin continued: "Then, he went home and hanged himself."

"Hey!" Brother Liu was startled at the time, "God damn it home and hanged yourself... What kind of heart-to-heart talk are you! Crash therapy!?"

"Ah...it's nothing." Bai Yin said, "It's probably 'Even if you confess in front of her anyway, the success rate is not high'" According to my investigation, that person currently has at least four boyfriends. , she must know that you have a crush on her, maybe even know about the preparation of the confession, so it is speculated that even if you succeed in confessing, you will not be able to get married in the end. your'……"

After hearing these words, Miao Wuwu broke into a cold sweat: "...so vicious! Really vicious!"

"It's okay, it's just speculation based on reality and rationality." Bai Yin said calmly, "Is it true that honest words are harmful to the ear... He still has to thank me. If it weren't for me, there are only two endings to this matter. One is after a few days." One day, a man and a woman died violently in a hotel. They were stabbed dozens of times and died. The murderer was imprisoned for life or executed; An innocent child who has no connection to the former's DNA."

Mr. Fang Yan's focus is more important: "Did you hang yourself successfully?"

"No, I was rescued and came back, except for a little lack of oxygen in the brain, there is no serious problem."

"That's okay...wait." Mr. Fang Yan's expression was tangled, "The topic we talked about just now seems to be... the task of the countermeasure bureau?"

"Yes, I haven't forgotten." Bai Yin said, "So, what is the mission objective?"

"Okay, okay, thank you for remembering..." Mr. Fang Yan paused, "The target is, ghost."

"ghost?"

Bai Yin paused for a while to raise his glass, "Which one?"

It is not surprising that he asked this question.

In the culture of the Xia Kingdom, "ghost" generally refers to the incorporeal soul body that is incarnated by some kind of obsession after death. The so-called "ghosts return to people" refers to the fact that people become ghosts after death.

In the culture of Sakurajima next door, the above-mentioned soul bodies are replaced by "ghosts", and the so-called "ghosts" refer to some kind of tall and strong creatures with sharp horns, big mouths, and sharp minions.

Ordinary people can't tell the difference between the two, but people in the strategy game obviously can't... For example, the former needs some kind of quick-witted mind, good at Taoism, or the ability to use a certain kind of energy to solve it. ; for the latter, a guy who is especially good at close combat is needed.

To put it simply, the sets of the former are generally suspense films, and the sets of the latter are generally blood-thirsty films-of course, in Sakurajima, the above-mentioned plots can all be love-growing films...

"It's tentatively determined to be a soul body." Mr. Fang Yan asked, "What, do you want to help?"

"To be honest, I'm a little interested." Bai Yin said, "But...you are given a personal task, can others intervene?"

"Others can't." Fang Yanjun said, "You can."

"Appreciate further details."

"How should I put it...Actually, the director said when he arranged this mission for me, 'If Bai Yin wants to participate in this mission, let him take your place...This kid is so smart and close to a monster, this kind of mission , which suits him well in itself.'”

"Oh?" Bai Yin raised his eyebrows, "Is this the original sentence?"

"No." Mr. Fang Yan said, "The original sentence is, 'If Bai Yin threatens you with the length of my lower body, you can just tell him directly'...the content behind is the same."

About... two seconds of silence.

"Hmm..." Bai Yin pondered for a while, "Is there anything else?"

"Yes." Mr. Fang Yan nodded, "'If he asks you, how do I know, you tell him that when I threatened others with this matter, his father was not born yet.'"

This time... it was Bai Yindan's turn to hurt.

He lay on the sofa, covered his face, and after a long time, a voice of admiration came from between his fingers:

"Sure enough... In terms of the lower limit, he is still superior."

"Is this the fun among men..." Miao Wuwu complained.

Brother Liu firmly denied: "No, I don't have any similar fun, absolutely not."

"I'm not interested in your comparison..." Mr. Fang Yan looked at Bai Yin with a blank expression on his face, "I just want to ask, will you accept this task?"

Bai Yin: "I have one last question."

"Say."

"Does the director know about your engagement under my deliberate promotion?"

"know."

"So that's how it is." Bai Yin said slowly, "Because I know that I became a matchmaker, I deduce that I will definitely want to know the result of the night between Mr. Fang Yan and Brother Liu" and "the next paragraph Will Mr. Fang Yan stay at school to accompany Liu Ge' these two matters...

Besides staying in school, Mr. Fang Yan can only run missions, so I, who asked about this matter, most likely asked about the missions of the Countermeasures Bureau... That's why I buried such a sharp complaint here.

Even if I didn't ask these questions, Mr. Fang Yan's mission is still at school, and the mission is still the kind of "spiritual wind" that can perfectly use the psychology of the suspension bridge. Anyway, there are opportunities to cultivate feelings... No matter what, he has nothing to lose. "

After Bai Yin finished speaking, he looked up to the sky and sighed in a tone of "he is born Yu, he Shengliang": "As expected of the director, I am willing to bet and admit defeat... I will accept this task."

"Although I don't quite understand..." Mr. Fang Yan couldn't help but spit out, "But I just want to say, as expected of you, you are so boring that you can refresh my cognition..."

After a pause, "It seems that I need to arrange more work for my fiancé so that he won't waste his energy here."

Brother Liu yelled angrily: "Suddenly it's all about me!"

People from the past, people from the present: NO.19 Maid (Preface) First Arrival

(free chapter, as compensation for repeated chapter yesterday)

When I opened my eyes, I saw a ceiling with intricate patterns and a chandelier that cost enough to make a working family struggle for a whole year without food or drink.

This is good news, which shows that I am still alive at this time, and I should not have lost my eyesight, and I am not in a place like hell—unless the Duke of Hell is a Western fantasy beauty with a thin waist and long legs in the style of Internet writing, and the three under his command The kind with thousands of faces.

Well, if it is the style of Sakurajima anime, it may be a loli who is not as tall as Miao Wuwu, and her unique skill is flat throwing.If that's the case, then I'm not in a hurry to go back...

About an hour ago—the time here does not include the period when I lost consciousness—I was sitting in a society with a name too long to repeat, with a newly engaged couple, and A cat talks and laughs.

At that time, I upheld the spirit of "I can be single, but they must get married" shared by matchmakers all over the world, and I took over the task of "ghost house" from Mr. Fang Yan, and let them go to cultivate their relationship. What about me? , then patted their buttocks and went directly into the "school building".

As for Miao Wuwu... I would like to bring her along, not to mention how useful her cat's keen nerves can be. Even if she really only knows how to be cute, it's good to be good-looking...

This is no big deal. For me, any teamwork is basically a one-spirited way to lead n pits. Instead of leading those idiots who say idiots and do idiots, but don't feel where their idiots are at all... I It's really better to bring a 1.5-meter loli who can meow and be cute.

…Sorry, the wording is a bit harsh, it is completely out of my heart, and I will definitely correct it next time.

It's a pity... this girl is afraid of ghosts.

She didn't refuse, but... when I saw that this girl said "if master you want If you want me to go with you, I'm totally... totally fine." When I said this... I think it's up to me.

In fact, if you think about it carefully, the behavior of "rushing to the mission location in a hurry to get them off to their honeymoon" is really a bit imprudent.

The mission location this time is the school building of Zhouyi College, and witnesses are absolutely indispensable in places like this.

This is a school, neither the intrigues of adult society nor the lifelessness of capital companies.

In this environment, there are always some people who, for various reasons, come here actively or passively, experience some things, and engrave unforgettable memories for a lifetime...

As long as they don't die, I can get some information from them - no matter what, it's better than the current black.