Bai Heling pawed her a few times, and pulled the little evil god from the seat.
Look around again.
The avatar and the demon god also sat with everyone.
Minos.
small park.
Pecola.
Pinot.
Ginger.
Ilulu.
Miss Yuzuo.
Koji.
Medusa.
……
Of course, there are also her Baiheling, Yan Baying beside her, and the little evil god. Everyone happily gathered together. As the sumptuous and delicate dishes were served on the table, everyone was so greedy. Bai Heling finally raised her glass to salute everyone, "Then, today I would like to say sorry to everyone on behalf of a certain idiot in our family. I am really sorry for causing so much trouble for everyone."
Everyone looked at each other and laughed sweetly.
"Oh, don't be so polite, this dish is ready, why don't you hurry up and eat it! Hahaha——, then I'll start it without hesitation~"
On the other hand, the little evil god was drooling profusely, and couldn't bear it any longer and directly picked up his chopsticks.
The angry Lily Ling is so shameless.
Yan Baying joked and stopped Bai Heling who was about to get angry.
"Okay, okay, let's spare her today, everyone is hungry, eat quickly, na~ eat quickly."
"Yataka, you're spoiling her again."
"It's rare to have a table reunion, so be happy."
"Well, it's all up to you, really!—"
last of the last.
Bai Heling still couldn't help but chuckle, forget it, let's spare this little evil god today, and hang her tomorrow.
The Cthulhu, the Girl with the Second Sickness of the Kitchen, and the Eight Eagles Who Hang Wang Yan: Chapter 630 Nine Steps Closer to the Truth
【another world】
【Xiaoqing's World】
……
(Connecting to Chapter 480 of the plot review)
-
Xiaoqing found the note that was left behind in Yan Baying's former residence. It not only clearly recorded many things about Yan Baying's journey through worlds, but also recorded that Yan Baying's eternal love in many times. Can only hide the troubles and pains deep in my heart.
It seems that only in the dead of night, when writing this note.
Only then can he use ink, paper and pen to express what he wants to express bit by bit.
Xiaoqing sat silently on the dusty desk and chair.
The notebook in her hand was placed on the same dusty wooden table. The old notebooks looked very suitable for this old table, and the passage of time also left the same traces on them.
But Xiaoqing can clearly remember.
Yan Baying has never mentioned the existence of this notebook to her, and she has never even mentioned the matter of traveling through the world. She has never told anyone in detail, and even if she reveals something, it is just a word Language, cherish words like gold.
possible……
It is also because Yan Baying already knew one thing clearly.
That is, some things can only be endured silently by oneself after all, and it is meaningless to share one's pain with others, it will only bring the same pain to others, or it is a reason to laugh at you.
So take your time.
Yan Baying became silent on this issue.
Hehe, so what can I say?
Can someone help him?
no……
At least for a long time, Yan Baying has never seen anyone who can really extend a helping hand to him. This is his business, so he must be the only one who grits his teeth and chooses to resist.
-
There are many records in this notebook, many reasons for analysis, and there are also many ramblings that seem to be whining.
【why! 】
[How long do you want to continue like this? 】
【That's enough...】
[Give me an answer, please, just give me some hints...]
[No one can tell me. 】
【nobody……】
【I'm really fed up with this kind of life. 】
[But I can't summon up the courage to commit suicide, I'm a coward, a total coward...]
[If one day I know what is going on, I think that time will be the time for me to be completely relieved. 】
【Help……】
[No matter who it is, please, help me...]
[Why, why is it that I have to bear such a punishment, every time I think it can end, only to find that those are just the beginning, one after another. 】
【What is your purpose...】
【What do you want from me...】
[I can't do it, I really can't do it, I can't find any useful clues, my life is meaningless...]
【How far will it take before it can be the real end. 】
【I am pretty tired. 】
[I have failed too many people, I have made too many promises that cannot be fulfilled, I am a sinner, and I feel that I am overwhelmed and out of breath. 】
【Kill me. 】
[If death can completely end this nightmare, then maybe..., this is the best choice. 】
……
……
this notebook.
The more she looked at the back, the more Xiaoqing could see these things she had never known before. Those came from the side of real despair, pain and collapse deep in her heart at that time. Every line, she seemed to be able to see that she was writing these things at that time. When taking notes, Yan Baying's hysterical shouts and roars seemed to be under the abyss.
Xiaoqing is correct.
These are all aspects of Yan Baying who are absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, and absolutely never shown in front of anyone.
no one knows.
In the deep mountains and old forests in the dead of night.
Under the lonely lights, a man would hysterically shout angrily towards the entire starry sky.
He will destroy wildly among the mountains and forests, shake the ground, bomb the forest, vaporize the creek, and steam all the fish and shellfish in the entire creek at high temperature in an instant.
-
no one knows.
On the edge of a desert oasis where no one cares.
A man was sitting there by the water source, secretly wiping his tears and crying, letting the disappointing tears drip one by one on the notebook in his hand.
When countless turbulent negative emotions completely engulfed his body and mind, even if he stood alone on a bustling street with a vast crowd, he never put anything into his empty eyes.
time and space.
Void.
illusory.
nothingness.
That was the most difficult and painful time for Yan Baying, because at that time..., after he had parted with his relatives, friends, brothers and friends, his daughter, son and wife again and again.
It was as if he was thrown into a sea of confusion all of a sudden.
Blowing in the wind alone there.
no purpose.
I can't find the meaning of life.
I can't even find the confidence to live.
He is like a flat boat on the sea. Where the sea decides to let him go, he can only go there. He has no choice and cannot resist.
The sea seemed to have him completely in his hands.
Can wantonly dominate his everything.
So at that time...
Gradually.
Yan Baying finally began to be unable to bear the psychological pressure, and a crack finally appeared in his state of mind in an instant, and it could never heal again.
-
But soon he also knew clearly.
It doesn't matter where he is, in any way, in any situation, to vent, to abuse, or to go crazy.
To no avail.
He couldn't resist.
then……
Thoughts of suicide had appeared in his mind more than once.
He tried to hang himself.
Too bad the rope wasn't strong enough.
He tried to kill himself with a knife, but he didn't have enough courage.
He is a coward.
In the face of death, he chose to escape and retreat again and again.
-
So many times.
Yan Baying can only vent the dark side of his heart unscrupulously like that when he is taking notes, everything about him, all negative emotions, all the words he wrote in the notes are actually just for It's just something he can hear.
And the last way to end all these reincarnations.
That is to find something other than death.
The only condition that can stop it.
Yan Baying did it.
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