Leader of the Ark Raiders

Then, he saw those three words.

--"I want to die".

Shen Cangye was startled.

Why did she write these three words for no reason?

He recalled the image of the Sarkaz maiden.

She is lonely and powerful.

Her strength makes her qualified to despise everything, making people feel that there is no problem in this world that she cannot solve.

She is used to dealing with all problems by herself, she doesn't care much and doesn't rely on others, and her way of speaking is even more direct.

But after contact, he felt that she was also a little girl in her heart, but she forgot to exercise her social skills in the anxiety of finding herself that she couldn't tell others.

She is not unreasonable, she is vicious and arrogant on the surface, but a piece of ice cream can make her happy for a long time.

She also appreciates the kindness of others, even if it's expressed in a slightly awkward way most of the time.

She will try to get closer with others, albeit a little clumsily.

Wendy thought she was as cute as a big cat when she was drunk.

When bickering with her, Shen Cangye thought that this guy was just a naive little girl.

Why would such a person...write these three words?

No matter what angle you think about, Shen Cangye can't figure it out.

Then he got that call.

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

"Hello?" Shen Cangye looked at the phone screen again.

This is a number from Rhode Island Internal Communications.

"Steel?" he asked tentatively.

There was a low hum on the other end of the phone.

"Are you okay?" Shen Cangye asked.

The Sarkaz girl murmured: "If I sit like this, sitting in this desert, and keep going like this, will I die?"

She spoke calmly but confused.

682. Across Time, I Hug You

For Stelter, the search for self can override everything else.

Since she was conscious, she has held the great sword named Levantin.

This sword endows her with great fighting power.

But it also gave her countless chaotic memories.

People's present is based on the past, and self-knowledge comes from memory.

But for Shirtel, she has too many memories.

She has no relatives or friends.

She is confused about who she really is.

She stands in the world like water without a source, and a tree without roots.

Therefore, she has been looking for the scenery in her memory, hoping to find her own existence through this process.

And during this process, there was only one thing in her mind.

Other things can be shelved first, not important.

She spent many years looking for the places in her memory one by one.

One by one, she eliminated all the places recorded in the notebook.

Finally, there was only one last unexplored place left in her notebook.

She firmly believes that in the endless desert of Sargon, she can find her memory, find herself, and understand who she really is.

but……

When she came to the place she had been looking for for a long time, she found that she couldn't remember anything.

Those countless days and nights of searching have all become futile.

She broke down.

Listening to the voice on the other side of the phone, Shen Cangye felt his heart skip a beat, "Sirtel?"

"I didn't find anything." Shirtel's voice was hoarse. "All—all those memories don't belong to me. What is the purpose of my searching all these years? What's the point?"

Shen Cangye frowned, "Where are you?"

But the other party said to himself regardless, "I heard that when a person is dying, he will see the revolving door of his life. But I don't have my own memory, so what will I see? Maybe, it's always I, who is chasing memories, don’t deserve exclusive life memories at all.”

Humans have the instinct to save themselves.

When they are in a bad mood, some people will vent their anger in order to attract the attention of others in order to get a little care.

This phone call is not about explaining the funeral.

It's asking for help.

I hope someone will hold her back before she falls into the abyss, and stop her at the ticket gate on the last leg.

Shen Cangye quickly cleared his mind.

All he could do was to stabilize the other party as much as possible, and then rush to her side as fast as possible.

"What did you see in the desert? Tell me about it, maybe it can help you remember something." Shen Cangye said while putting on his clothes and going downstairs.

He vaguely remembered that a few days ago, he ran down in such a hurry to find a few people who were lost in the desert.

But this time, what he was looking for was a person whose spirit was trapped in the desert.

On the other end of the phone, Shirtel was still muttering.

"Yesterday, I met a man who called himself 'Xuexue'. He said that he would spend his whole life pursuing his way, even if he left his hometown, even if he died on the road... But what about me? What is the meaning of me? I've been looking for it for so long, but it's all in vain...everything I do is meaningless, I shouldn't exist in this world..."

"That's not meaningless. You've looked for it, and you don't have any regrets in your heart. Now is the best time to start a new life, isn't it?" Shen Cangye tried his best to keep his voice steady.

"No..." Sarkaz said softly, "No."

Her voice dropped, "You won't understand. Walking alone in the snowy wastes of Ursus, I don't remember who I am or where I came from. My parents and friends don't know. All I have is Levantine's sword...it's too painful. Sometimes I feel that I'm just a lonely ghost, or maybe I don't exist at all, everything is an illusion, and no one else knows who I am..."

Shen Cangye suddenly thought of a sentence - people are a collection of social relations.

It is these ties that link human existence together.

"Maybe I will never understand how painful you are." Shen Cangye said, "But you are not wrong, you have not done anything wrong. Don't punish yourself in this way, okay?"

He hurriedly searched for the location of Shirtel's communicator, kicked the accelerator and galloped towards the desert.

A sigh came from the other end of the phone, "I'm so tired, what's the point of my life? I have no past, no relatives, I have nothing. No one will remember me. All these years, all the things I have done Like a joke."

"Sirtel!" Shen Cangye stepped on the gas pedal hard, "If you want to go, at least let me accompany you for the last journey, okay? I'm already on my way, and I'll be there soon. Just letting you die in an unknown place like this, I will feel guilty for the rest of my life!"

There was only wind on the other end of the phone.

"Are you listening? Are you still there? Shirtel?" Shen Cangye asked.

The car drove into the desert.

Soon the tires were stuck in the sand and could no longer be driven.

Shen Cangye unbuckled his seat belt, got out of the car and continued on.

The desert is exceptionally sunny today.

The moon is sparse and the visibility is high.

But it was more terrifying than any other time.

"Sir Teer, are you still there? It's okay if you don't speak, if you are here, just hum." Shen Cangye's palms were sweating while holding the phone.

For a long time, a low voice came from the opposite side.

"……I'm waiting for you."

"Don't hang up the phone, let me hear your breathing." Shen Cangye said.

no answer.

Shen Cangye looked at the positioning system and said, "Sirtel, I will remember you, and everyone in Rhodes Island will remember you! I know you are in pain now...but, give yourself a few more days, more How about a day—try a life that doesn’t require you to search for memories all the time, and try to live like everyone else, an ordinary person?”

"I'm sorry." said the other end of the phone, "I have forgotten what the life of ordinary people is like. I don't know if I can do it."

For a moment, he just wanted to cross the torrent of time and embrace that lonely girl who kept tossing around.

Shen Cangye dropped the phone in his hand.

Because he saw the red-haired girl sitting with her legs curled up in the sand.

He rushed over, grabbed the Levantine sword that might become a suicide weapon, and threw it five meters away.

"Shen—"

Before Shirtel could speak, he also knelt down and hugged the confused Sarkaz tightly.

He didn't want to reason, and he didn't want to talk about joining Rhodes Island.

At this time, no matter how much truth is said, it is a joke.

Shen Cangye tightened his arms and said in a low voice: "When you are not here, many people will be sad. Don't say that no one will remember you. You have saved Tianhuo and Provence, they are grateful to you; you have helped Gavial and Tomimi, They've always kept that in mind."

"I know your name is Sylter, you like to eat ice cream, and you help me dry my clothes in a strange way, I know you bargained when you once put a knife on someone's neck, I know you saved Xiyin , you gave me a small box of yogurt after you got drunk...you remain in my memory, and I will never forget you."

"Is it just for me? I answered your call. As a reward, can you accompany me to eat smoothies tomorrow? ——Come back with me first, tomorrow, wait for the sun to rise, and then reconsider. "

Shirtel raised his head, staring at him blankly with bewildered purple eyes, "For...you."

Shen Cangye said seriously: "Although I don't know what you went through, I remember your appearance and your personality. To me, you are a very important person."

"No..." Sarkaz said with a hoarse voice, "It's all fake, my memory is fake, and what you said must be fake too..."

"Look into my eyes, Shirtel." Shen Cangye grabbed the girl's shoulders, "Look at me, every word I said is true, I have never been so serious as now."

The girl was in his arms, and raised her arms awkwardly to hug him back.

——I am desperate, I hope someone can affirm the value and significance of my existence in this world

He would tell me that my existence in this world made sense to some people.

Why, I would choose to make this call to you?

Because you are very important to me.

I can't find a reason to live.

I hope that the very important people in my eyes can give me a reason to live.

"You won't forget me." she asked.

"Let me prove it to you." Shen Cangye said, "How can I convince you?"

Sarkaz looked up at him.

After hesitating for a moment, she opened her mouth and said two words.

Shen Cangye was startled, "This—"

Before he could finish speaking, her lips were kissed by her.

She kissed jerky but passionately, wishing to bite her life together, as if she was holding tightly the last straw to save her life.

The smell of blood permeated their mouths, his lip was bitten, and traces of blood oozed out.

Sturre breathed a sigh of relief and let him go.

Shen Cangye didn't cry out for pain, but just looked down at the forever lonely Sarkaz girl.

A cloud blocked the moonlight.