Leader of the Ark Raiders

He couldn't see Sylter's face clearly in the darkness.

He reached out to touch, only to touch the warm tears.

683 Thank you for the invitation. I have already decided where to hold the wedding

Shirtel had a long dream.

In the dream, she walked side by side with that person on an endless road.

The road under our feet continues to extend forward, and the unknown ahead is still unknown.

They walked for a long time.

It seems that there is no way to go to the end.

But it's okay.

She is no longer alone, nor is she wandering in the boundless wilderness alone like before, with no one to rely on.

She dreamed that they walked hand in hand through the gorgeous streets of Rutland, tasting each other's sweetness in front of the ice cream machine, and she persistently wanted to buy another one, but he reluctantly agreed to pay for it.

She dreamed that they were sitting on the prairie of Casimir, talking about the past under the starry sky, and fell asleep with sweet smiles on their faces.

She dreamed that they were in the palace of Yan Kingdom, he put a ring on her, Shu Hongjian made a promise of white heads, and carried a mandarin book to make a promise of red leaves.

She dreamed that they were in their house on the seashore of Siesta, listening to the sound of the waves, enjoying their first pleasure without being around.

She dreamed that they were taking a nap under the cherry blossom forest in the Eastern Kingdom, surrounded by children...

She dreamed that they were sitting in Sami's warm wooden house, the fire was crackling in the fireplace, their old and tired bodies were curled up on the rattan rocking chair, and they both fell asleep before dusk fell, but their hands were still tightly held...

Shirtel has too many memories, and has also seen a person's life in his memory.

Memories are false, and everything is a passerby.

As an actor in the drama of life, she has too many memories, and her qualifications are too deep. Instead, she separated herself from the stage and became an audience sitting in the audience who looked at all this with indifference.

The resentment, helplessness, gratification and joy in memory, the sadness and collapse...

She was never infected by it.

But this dream is too real, better than all the memories so far.

When she awoke from the dream, she found herself in tears.

Shirtel wiped his face indiscriminately, not understanding why he was crying because of the messy dream.

There was a familiar notebook on the bedside table next to him.

When sitting alone last night, I scribbled and wrote a line of unclear meaning:

Sunshine, morning, steaming coffee, delicious bread, home, and him.

Maybe she is used to being accompanied by others, but she just doesn't want to return to wandering alone.

Squeak.

The heavy wooden door was pushed open, and a very familiar figure jumped into her eyes, with freshly baked bread and fragrant coffee on the tray in her hand.

Shirter looked up at him, a little dazed.

There were still unwiped tears on her face, reflecting the faint light in the morning light.

"I heard voices upstairs and thought you might be awake, so I brought you breakfast—ah, what's wrong with you?" Shen Cangye was stunned, and raised his hand to wipe away the tears on the girl's face .

The big Sarkaz cat looked at him, but didn't resist, and let him move with his face up.

Under the puzzled eyes of the other party, Shirtel snorted, "It's just a headache, nothing happened."

"Are you feeling better now? You won't feel as uncomfortable as yesterday, right?" Shen Cangye asked.

Last night, he took the big Sarkaz cat back to Qinjiao Black Market, talking to her all the time, and watching her fall asleep.

Stuart turned his head away.

In an instant, she remembered how she was dying last night.

It was as embarrassing as a high school student who broke up in love and jumped off the roof. After being persuaded to get down, the next day he had to face the teachers and students of the whole school watching from below.

——The death of a society is a thousand times more painful than a lovelorn, okay?

God, how could it be so embarrassing?

"Don't ask, just say no, I like people who talk a lot of nonsense." Sarkaz the big cat was so embarrassed that he wanted to find a hole to drill, and avoided answering the other party's question, "I'm fine, don't talk anymore!"

"Then why are you crying again?" Shen Cangye asked.

"It's just a headache!" Shirtel took the breakfast brought by the other party, saw him looking at the notebook, and hurriedly closed it with his free hand.

"What are you looking at, turn around!"

The other party has seen all her embarrassing, crazy, and fragile appearances, and she is so awkward now.

Shirtel turned his head and took a bite of the bread viciously.

The hair that fell due to her movement covered her slightly red ear tips.

Shen Cangye grabbed her wrist, "Tell me, you won't do the stupid thing like yesterday again, will you?"

"No, no! I'm fine!" Shirtel slapped his hand away impatiently, eager to end this embarrassing topic for her.

"If you still feel uncomfortable, you can tell me." Shen Cangye said, "If you are uncomfortable, it is best to say it."

"I told you I didn't! Why are you so—" Sarkaz lowered his eyes guiltily in the middle of the sentence, "I'm sorry, did I just... have a bad tone?"

Shen Cangye raised his eyebrows, "You just realized, if I hadn't cultivated it well, I would have called you a bear face."

"...It's embarrassing." Shirtel pursed his lips.

She finally decided to face her heart honestly, "I feel ashamed to let you see my weakness. I hope I am perfect, flawless, and the best in your eyes. Let you see my hysteria It's better to die."

684. One bite is full of erythritol

Shen Cangye pulled a chair and sat down in front of Shirtel, put his fingers interlocked against his chin, and looked at his pink and purple opal eyes, "You just said...?"

Stuart was a little embarrassed.

Coughing lightly, she explained: "You know I didn't mean that, I just wanted to say, it's embarrassing, not really looking for death."

"You can try to rely on other people." Shen Cangye said, "You are not alone."

"I don't need it." Shirtel shook his head decisively.

Shen Cangye sighed.

He didn't know when Shirtel started to have the memory and consciousness.

What is certain, however, is that she has been alone for as long as she can remember.

The lack of trust in the world and the lack of emotional connection with others made her feel that no matter when she was sad, confused or vulnerable, she had nowhere to go and no one to rely on.

The lack of emotion and her own strength against the sky just became the source of her extremely high but fragile self-esteem, which led to her island-like independence.

She also tries to connect with people.

But every time the relationship deepened or she needed to rely on others, she felt a kind of weakness and powerlessness, a kind of fear.

And the refusal to depend on others may exacerbate her feeling of isolation and helplessness.

She will not refuse others to offer help, and she will return the favor afterwards.

But she would never take the initiative to ask for help.

"I want you to know that you are not alone. Everyone will be happy to help you when you are sad, afraid, or collapsed." Shen Cangye explained, "Your 'don't need to rely on others' brings you Is it happiness or pain?"

"I……"

Shen Cangye said patiently: "Our dependence on each other is gradually expanded and deepened. Every expression of yours is like a test, when it is proved time and time again that others can accept you, can make you depend on, and have never left , the relationship of trust will be stronger, expressing vulnerability and interdependence will become more and more natural, and each other will understand each other more deeply and form a connection."

"I don't need to rely on others..." The tone became hesitant this time.

Shen Cangye sighed, "Forget it, let's have breakfast first."

Shirtel's eyes fell on the cup of black coffee.

Bitter black coffee is nothing short of disaster for Sarkaz cats with a sweet tooth.

Her purple eyes stared at the cup of coffee, but she didn't speak for a long while.

"Don't you want to eat?" Shen Cangye wondered.

The red-haired girl gritted her teeth and asked for help awkwardly for the first time, trying to 'rely on others', "Can you help me...get some milk and sugar?"

"Aha," Shen Cangye smiled and got up, "Happy to help."

After a while, he brought some boxes of coffee milk balls and some packets of sugar from downstairs.

"Cream balls, sugar, I don't know which kind you like, this one is brown sugar, and this one is a sweetener—look, zero-calorie erythritol, girls like it best." Shen Cangye took the Something pushed to Shirtel, "Look, it's easy to ask for help. You can try to rely on others a little more, I never find you troublesome."

"Thank you." The big Sarkaz cat murmured softly, tearing apart the cream ball and sugar packet, putting them into the coffee cup and stirring them.

A tiny, cared feeling rose from the bottom of my heart.

Go through the broken process and embrace who you are, vulnerable and real, even if it's a scarred child.

A gust of wind poured in through the window.

While raising the curtain, flick the pages of the notebook and turn to one of the pages.

Various methods of suicide were scrawled on it.

Further down, there are many people's names written in a mess.

Except for some that Shen Cangye doesn't know, the rest are Tianhuo, Provence, Kelsey, Gavial, Tomimi...

And finally his name.

Everything was crossed out.

It seemed that the connection with these people could not be the reason for her to continue living.

Only his name remains.

"You didn't write those words these days." Shen Cangye stared at Sarkaz's purple cat pupils, "You had such an idea a long time ago."

"I thought so a long time ago, but those memories that haven't been explored can give me a little motivation to live." Shirtel nodded lightly, "I always think, maybe the next place, I will I can find the memory that really belongs to me, find myself..."

She turned her head and staggered her eyes, "It's like I told you, I'm alone, I don't feel like I exist at all, it's just... After meeting you, I have a new memory. You are the first The person I have been with for a long time and accompanied.”

"Oh, thank God, so I'm still a passable memory in your mind?" Shen Cangye asked.

This irascible old lady speaks directly to the face.

If I didn't say it, I thought she was not pleasing to anyone.

Shen Cangye stared at the Sarkaz girl.

The latter, who had been talking all the time, suddenly began to eat the bread seriously, without giving him a single look.

Then, under his long gaze, the roots of Shirtel's ears slowly turned red.

"Where do you have so many questions!?" Sarkaz big cat stretched out his hand and wanted to flick his forehead.

Shen Cangye was startled, but didn't move, and let her play honestly.

The girl's slender fingers touched his forehead.

Sighing, she was reluctant to play it after all.

In the middle, it was replaced by a light kiss, which was lightly printed on the center of his brow.

685. Did you hear the children...

When Shen Cangye looked up at Shirtel again.

The Sarkaz girl pretended to be deep and turned around to look out the window so that he could not see her face.

After a while, she murmured, "Today... I'm going to try to live an ordinary life."

Shen Cangye remembered, "By the way, there are a few children in the rescue station. After hearing what I said about you, they have been pestering me, hoping that you can guide their swordsmanship. Can you do me a favor?"

"I'm not interested in playing Originium Arts games with a group of ordinary people, it's a waste of time!" Shirter clicked his tongue.