Saint?Just a bad woman

"Abner..."

"Shh, I know. In fact, my life is as white as this book. Yes, it is blank. There is nothing I have chosen, nor have I achieved or can confirm my achievements..."

He closed the "book" hard and slowly stroked the cover of the black book without a title, as tenderly as if he was longing for it.Then Abner said calmly:

"It would be great if I was really... just a book."

Abner, who was unable to give up his heart to illusory desires, painfully revealed his wish.

If Abner were just a book, it would be okay to let time pass without changing.

If it were a doll without a soul, if it were a book that would not shake the soul due to the passage of time, there would be no regrets.

Abner... what she longed for was never the throne. Santa Karina remembered how awkward she looked before she sat in the position of Ernest VII.That's why...at that time, she believed her credulously and became her helper unswervingly...

188. Break the contract

However, Abner couldn't just be a puppet like that, his heart was completely empty.So she complained about being like this.

"It's a pity... I am not a doll after all, but a person. I have a heart and a mind. As time goes by, I will think about things, and I will no longer believe in the things I originally believed. Then, I I would start to worry. I couldn’t remember what my mother looked like or how to smile. I spent many nights trying to remember it.”

His nails scratched the cover of the book on his chest, and Abner looked at Santa Karina with sad eyes.

"Loneliness is terrible, but time keeps passing by outside, and everyone will abandon me and walk away. I say it's for something more important than myself, but in fact it's for personal gain."

Abner shouted, with tears in his eyes and already on the verge of crying.

"My destiny is to always be alone, no matter whether I am the princess or sit in that position...but now I finally feel a little relieved."

"...Why? You may be killed by someone you know. How can you feel safe?"

"of course."

Listening to Santa Karina's suppressed voice, Abner nodded.

Then, an unreal but cherishing the past smile appeared on the corner of his mouth.

"Probably because...we have no way to escape."

Like being redeemed, like being rewarded, Abner said with a smile.

This is almost like saying something as if you were dying for love.

This is evident from the pure sense of liberation in her smile──

"What a joke."

──That twisted smile was unbearable for Santa Karina, and passion burned in her chest.

Abner's sadness and joy came from the confirmation that he had someone to accompany him on the road to hell, not because of power or interest, but because of Abner.What kind of bullshit twisted relief is this!

This kind of thing is intolerable.Besides, she never thought about going to hell with Abner!At least today, absolutely not!

"...what are you going to do?"

Too angry, Santa Karina walked forward unconsciously.Her unusual attitude was like a blazing fire in her body, making Abner tense up in alarm.

"First of all, if you want to mess around, I will not forgive you. Don't come here again."

"What a bullshit fate you accept. You are no different than talking to yourself. You are hopelessly stubborn."

There was no end to the anger.Now angry at Abner and the fate that forced her to this point.

"Abner, you are so stupid. Yes, you are stupid enough! You are so stupid that it hurts to watch!"

"What……!"

Santa Karina suddenly cursed, and Abner was dumbfounded.

Anger and confusion left her speechless for a moment, and Santa Karina took the opportunity to talk non-stop.

"Why, why can you only give such an extreme answer...! Why insist on one answer! Aren't there other possibilities!"

"Of course I've thought about it! ...But, no matter what I do, it's useless! So!"

The content of the black book has always been blank, making Abner think that his destiny is a dead end.

But that's not it.In fact, there are other possibilities──

"──For example, your mother accidentally gave you the wrong book!"

"what……"

I was originally disturbed by the statement of "other possibilities", but I didn't expect to get such a crude alternative.Abner couldn't help but froze, and then was immediately replaced by anger, and became more and more angry as he thought about it.

"Given the wrong book? How dare you insult mother!? How could mother make such a stupid mistake..."

"Do you dare to say that it will never happen? Have you really never doubted it? Then what you are implying is that you believe that your mother really gave her daughter a blank book?"

In fact, this is indeed the truth.The real intention of her maternal mother in giving Abner the "Blank Book" was to see the results of countless unknown possibilities.

So, I don’t know what the truth is, but the important thing is not the truth anyway.

What is needed now is the words to loosen Abner's stubborn defense and draw her over.

"What... that kind of statement..."

Abner, who was overwhelmed by Santa Karina's momentum, gradually weakened his tone and his eyes wandered.

Although he knew that this inner conviction would belittle his beloved mother, Abner still shook his head in disgust.After putting blind faith and respect on the balance, she chose blind faith.

After all, she could only hold on to this.

"M-Mother can't be wrong. This is of course. She is my mother! Do you have any way to doubt what your mother said!?"

"Of course you can, but there are relatively few cases where you believe it! Parents and children don't often quarrel. Parents also need to apologize to their children when they do something wrong."

Therefore, Saint Karina was irritated and displeased with Abner, who regarded his mother as divine and infallible.

"I don't understand...you, what do you want me to say!? I don't understand! I don't understand your expectations and purposes! I don't know!"

"Then I will open the skylight and speak frankly. Tell it to you and your idiot mother who are so stupid!"

Santa Karina approached Abner, who was about to hold her head, and took her hands.

He brought his face close to the raised face, and at a distance where he could feel his breath, he spoke clearly to the tearful girl.

"Don't be forever at the mercy of a blank book and a verbal agreement between you. - What you want to do is up to you, Abner."

"──"

"It's been more than ten years. Even if it's a rebellious period, it's not an exaggeration."

Because he deeply loves his relatives and there is no family affection in the palace, Abner has been bound by loneliness and empty time.

"No matter what I am told... I must abide by the agreement. The contract is sacred and inviolable... So, I..."

Soon after, Abner lowered his head and stared at the black book on his lap, and said with trembling lips.

But Santa Karina would not want things to end like this and leave Abner alone here.

People who are full of death will not grasp even if there is a chance of survival, and even think that being killed is a kind of salvation.

"Abner, I'm talking about you. You clearly found a loophole in the agreement, but you thought about not breaking the contract and you were killed."

Abner, who wanted to escape from sight, widened his eyes in shock, looking like he was told something important.

His wet eyes were afraid of this accusation, and his whole body was trembling.

Of course.Because Santa Karina had already heard Abner’s heartfelt cries.

"Abner. As long as you don't really reject me, I will always be here. Don't you find that what you say is completely different from what you think? It's impossible, right? After all, you are very smart."

"To shut up……"

"No, I have to say. Since you insist on the promise to the point where you want to die, then just don't abide by it. Your mother gave you the blank book, didn't she expect you to make your own choice? No one will blame you. "

"I will blame myself! I have followed it for so many years and then gave up. This is something I cannot tolerate! Why don't you understand!?"

"Why don't you understand? Since if you keep the promise, you will die and suffer endless pain, then of course it is better to break the promise and live. Is the choice I mentioned so unreasonable?"

Abner, who was clinging to his promise, stared at Santa Karina as if he were looking at a troublemaker.

It is of course important to keep the agreement.

Even so, Santa Karina did not hesitate to ask Abner to break the contract.

The reason she just told Abner.This aspect is simply not worth bothering with.

189. Please choose me, Abner

"You, you are too bullying..."

"I know that I am slandering others, and I am reflecting on it. But I will never give in on important things."

Santa Karina's answer didn't waver.Because from the beginning, the question rested on Abner's heart.

Her contempt for the contract left Abner confused and confused.Of course, the contract has such profound meaning to Abner.

St. Carolina, who fell in love with Abner Ernest, also knew this very well.

Even though she knew it, Santa Karina still said this. ──I choose you over the promise.

"F-if... you are 'that person'..."

Staring at Santa Karina in front of him, Abner slowly shook his head.

The only mission that has occupied her heart and bound her for more than ten years - her soul is gradually worn out by the blank page, but it is still the biggest reason for clinging to the contract.

As long as he decides on his biggest and final support, Abner can let himself go.

So she grasped at straws, surrendered her heart, and looked into the eyes of Saint Carina.

"you……"

Her breathing was so heavy that she seemed to be panting, as if she was about to forgive herself, she slowly spoke──

"Will you be 'the one' for Abner?"

That was the question that could draw a close to Abner's blank slate.

Think of the meaning of the existence of the "blank book" - not to give the correct answer, but to let Abner choose "that person" according to his own will.

The result was more than ten years of loneliness.

Those days have now blossomed into the current question.The empty time is about to be rewarded.

"──"

Abner swallowed, waiting for the answer to his question.

As long as he speaks out, his mother's wishes, which have restrained Abner for more than ten years, will be in vain. This time, he will hold on to new and different people and things and never let go.

Santa Karina looked straight back at the girl and spoke clearly.

"You idiot. How could I be that inexplicable 'that person' of yours?"

"Guuu-"

Santa Karina, who was knocked away by the shock wave, hit the wall hard and almost fainted from the pain.

Her flank hit the pillar-like support bar of the wall, causing her to scream in pain and roll on the floor.

"G-Oooh...what the hell...! I'm only halfway through my words, you bastard..."

Then, the door in front of her was slammed shut, and Santa Karina quickly jumped up and opened the door.But behind the open door is just an ordinary guest room──"Magic" has been activated, and the Forbidden Library has been moved.

The two spoke sincerely to each other, and it was clear that Santa Carina, who was angered, was thrown out of the forbidden library in the end.

Santa Karina, who noticed this, raised her head.Quickly locking a new position, the cyan-eyed girl sitting on the step stool stared at Santa Karina.

"You really can't learn a lesson...!"

"Ha! That goes without saying! No matter how many times, I will come and kidnap you! If you hate it, just follow me out this time! This will be the last time you play hide and seek!"

"You're such a tough-mouthed duck!"

……

"Oh!"

"Goooo..."

Then, Santa Karina was shot flying out again.She was evicted again.