Hikigaya doesn't want to be a force of strength

Over the years, I couldn't let it go, but just put it away and chose to ignore it.

But now I picked up this book again.

Is this what is called destiny?

Hikigaya personally didn't believe in such things, but he didn't like the feeling of hastily denying them, as if he was accepting them.

Finally, Hikigaya silently brushed off the dust accumulated on the cover and sank into the sofa with the book.

Back then, I only read halfway through and didn't dare to continue reading the rest.

Now, he must muster up the courage to face it.

……

The library after school was quite busy because there were many students even though it was still early.

Hikigaya spent the whole day yesterday reading No Longer Human. The more he read, the more he realized that there was some great ugliness hidden within his own body.

Humans have always been like this.

The more you discover your own evil, the more you will try to hide it.

As a result, the concealed things become the truth in the eyes of others, and finally they are even taken for granted as the truth.

In the end, everyone has a mask on their face.

So, what refers to "a person" is the essence, or the mask on his face?

Such philosophical thoughts arose in Hikigaya's mind, and he had to think in this way in order to cover up the abrupt and stinking smell hidden in his chest.

The stench was so strong that it could not be covered up at all, forcing him to go about his daily life in agony.

I must be sick somewhere.

And it wasn't now, but a long time ago...

Thinking about this question, Hikigaya sat in a lively place, but did not feel the liveliness at all.

"Hey, what have you been daydreaming about?"

The blonde girl suddenly spoke, interrupting Hikigaya's thoughts.

He turned around and looked at Karuizawa Megumi in front of him, as if recalling the past, remembering that she was his partner in the final exam.

Since the partners must work together for the final exam, if either of them falls behind, it may result in both of them dropping out of school, so the tutoring for this final exam is naturally conducted in the form of groups of two.

"You can't talk casually in the library."

"Are you talking about rules now?" Karuizawa said with a subtle look, "Ayanokouji and Sato-san over there are having a great time chatting."

After hearing what Karuizawa said, Hikigaya discovered that Ayanokouji and the student named Sato Maya were indeed having some conversation.

But from a distance, it seemed that Satou was the one who was chatting her up, and Ayanokouji himself didn't seem to be interested.

In the final analysis, Hikigaya simply couldn't imagine a guy like Ayanokouji actually dating someone else.

"Are you jealous?"

“You…what are you talking about?!”

Hikigaya originally just wanted to tease Karuizawa, but he found that the latter showed more anger than he had imagined.

That kind of momentum obviously doesn't seem fake, and it's even less likely to be shyness.

Could this guy be...

While Hikigaya was shocked, Karuizawa's face showed obvious disgust, but not towards him, "How could I be that kind of person? Stop kidding!"

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry."

Although he didn't know why, Hikigaya apologized instinctively.

Being able to stretch and shrink is his greatest advantage.

Chapter 520: The one that has changed or the one that has not changed, which one is the real thing? !

The reading club process was very boring.

Since Horikita didn't force Hikigaya to teach anyone else, he just had to read by himself, which was almost no different from what he usually did.

While he was reading silently, he found that Karuizawa Kei beside him always seemed a little absent-minded.

The other party seemed to have something to say, but he didn't dare to say it out loud, so he stood there stiffly.

Hikigaya has finally gained absolute peace, so naturally he doesn't want to have anything to do with outsiders anymore. But when he thinks that Karuizawa and he are members of the same group, it means that if she fails, not only Karuizawa will be expelled, but he will also be expelled. He still has to give her a reminder.

"Well... you still have to study hard for the reading club."

"I know this." Karuizawa seemed to have not expected that Hikigaya would take the initiative to speak to him, and a look of surprise appeared on his face. "So you've been paying attention to me."

"Uh, I didn't mean to."

Because he was very sensitive to outsiders, Hikigaya mistakenly thought that Karuizawa was blaming him for peeking at her. If the other party insisted on accusing him of molestation, he would probably be sent to court the next day.

Horrible, version T0 is really terrible.

"I'm not blaming you." However, what Hikigaya didn't expect was that Karuizawa denied his idea, "I just thought you would be the one who cared less about other people."

"Uh, why?"

Hikigaya was quite confused as he didn't expect Karuizawa to have such an impression of him.

Karuizawa himself hesitated and did not speak directly: "Didn't I ask you for help when we were on the cruise? You seemed to say you would help me at that time, and I was very grateful for your help, but unfortunately in the end..."

I didn't expect Karuizawa himself to bring up that matter on his own initiative.

Since Karuizawa kept a certain distance from him after the cruise, Hikigaya never knew the truth of the incident.

It was not until later that Hiyori Shiina caught several spies from the former Class C and learned from Shiho Manabe what had happened that day.

how to say.

Although Hikigaya hated Ayanokouji's bad behavior, which not only caused Karuizawa himself to suffer a lot, but also maliciously led the students of the former Class C to do ugly actions that went against their conscience, the other party's actions did solve Karuizawa's own problem.

At least from Karuizawa's point of view, Hikigaya doesn't think there is anything wrong with this, and naturally doesn't think that Karuizawa will have any bad attitude towards this matter.

However, now that he had contact with Karuizawa after a long time, he unexpectedly discovered that Karuizawa's attitude towards this matter was quite strange, and it seemed that he did not accept everything directly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you."

Hikigaya spoke tentatively, wanting to gauge Karuizawa's attitude.

"No, that's not it..."

In response to Hikigaya's words, Karuizawa spoke reflexively, but then he couldn't say anything and looked very frustrated.

But her attitude alone was enough for Hikigaya to make a judgment.

Karuizawa doesn't seem to be able to accept Ayanokouji's approach, and the other party seems to have a different attitude towards this matter.

Since they were in the library and their main job was to study, the conversation did not last long.

At the same time, in the distance, Horikita Suzune slowly walked over from the other side of the library, accompanied by former Class B students such as Ichinose Honami.

"Yesterday I met Ichinose-san in the library and suggested that we hold a reading club together." Faced with everyone's confusion, Horikita explained, "Because we won't be competing with the former Class B in this exam, I think there are also parts where we can help each other."

"This……"

I didn't expect Horikita to take the initiative to cooperate with others. The students in Class D became more and more aware of the changes that had taken place in each other.

"Hikigaya-san, you're here too."

When Ichinose saw the students from Class D, his eyes were focused on Hikigaya at first sight.

In response, Hikigaya didn't want to attract attention, so he just nodded calmly.

Because it was a library, Ichinose couldn't come over to talk to them, so they could only occupy a seat in the corner and start studying on their own.

Horikita even played a piece of music, Beethoven's Symphony No. 6 "Pastoral", to eliminate the whispering sounds in the library.

Thanks to the many methods used by Horikita Suzune, the learning progress of everyone in the class is very efficient.

The students in Class B are particularly outstanding and can provide guidance in some basic aspects of learning, such as exchanging information held by the class. If there are more students, the focus will increase, which will also be useful in setting questions.

However, there are risks in doing so. If there are students from the former B class who have connections with the former C class, this information might leak out.

Of course, Horikita also understood this, and because he chose the better side, they joined forces to fight.

Hikigaya didn't care about these things. He just looked at the book in front of him silently, while many things that had nothing to do with him emerged in his mind.

I don’t know how long it took, but the reading session gradually came to an end.

People left the library one after another, causing the cool breeze from outside to blow in, forcing people to clear their heads.

Hikigaya picked up his things and was about to leave when he suddenly saw Shinohara Satsuki and a few girls walking slowly past him. They were stunned at first, and then nodded to him silently.

This is embarrassing for me, please stop it... Hikigaya complained in his mind, but he couldn't ignore it on the surface so he nodded in response.

After that, a few more boys and girls noticed him, waved before leaving, and said something like "see you tomorrow".

Faced with this situation, Hikigaya sighed and realized that something had really changed.

He tried to ask himself, when did this start? The answer is actually very simple, it started from the first day he entered this school.

Unlike his junior high school self, a change that was not his own had already occurred the moment he interacted with Horikita Suzune on the first day of school.

When his heart is eager to move forward, even if there seems to be no change on the surface, changes will happen unconsciously.

When he first came to this class, Hikigaya deliberately kept a distance from others, hoping to still maintain his independence and inner loneliness.

But in the end, he still took actions that he shouldn't have taken, whether it was Horikita Suzune, Kushida Kikyo, or Karuizawa Megumi...

Everything changed according to his will.

The only thing that has not changed is himself—he is no longer the Lone Ranger, but he still yearns to be the Lone Ranger.

So, at this point, what exactly is the 'real thing' reflected in his eyes?

Chapter 521 Ayanokouji: Even if you drop out of school, you can't save them

Hikigaya had many troublesome things on his mind, and he found it increasingly difficult to stay in the library any longer.

At this time, you have to escape to the toilet.

Escape is shameful but useful.

Hikigaya quickly left the library and planned to go to the toilet, thinking about buying a drink on the way...

So he headed towards the vending machine.

Since it was night, there were almost no students on the road to the school. Compared with the daytime, it was so quiet that it was like something out of a horror novel.

In this environment, the frequent footsteps behind you will undoubtedly make people very concerned.

The other person walked at a leisurely pace, always keeping a distance from him that was neither too far nor too close, which made Hikigaya even think of many horror story scenes.

He stopped in front of the vending machine, and the people behind him also stopped a beat later.

"..."

Damn, this might be a ghost.

Hikigaya casually bought a bottle of drink from the vending machine, and used the reflection to observe the back. He found that the man following him walked up leisurely and pressed the button for black coffee.

"Sorry, I just wanted to buy a drink."

Ayanokouji Kiyotaka seemed to feel that his behavior could easily arouse suspicion, so he spoke first and made an explanation that he was trying to cover up his mistake.

But this attitude undoubtedly makes people feel more suspicious.

If it were in the past, he would probably feel offended and start speaking in a stern tone.

However, things are different now.

He wanted to fight this stalker directly.

Of course, Hikigaya also knew that Ayanokouji followed him so deliberately, obviously coming here to tell him something, so he was just a little unhappy.

No way! I'm so upset!