Would it be more exciting if the clothes underneath...are more exposed?
Mr. Su Ming once said that it is better to be half-covered than naked. It’s because he is not proficient in many aspects of knowledge... But Mr. Su Ming seems happy, so that’s good.
and so.
Why haven't you come back yet?
Although I have already said that it is a bit difficult to find supplies nearby, I want to find some good ones today...it may be a little late.
"I am back."
Hearing the familiar voice, I almost subconsciously ran out.
"Barbecue grill, a lot of frozen skewers, I really found something good this time."
I don't care at all what Mr. Su Ming brings back.
Just watch him to see if he's injured. No, just a little tired.
"Mr. Su Ming...I use my legs..."
"Hey, you secretly read strange magazines and learned new tricks?"
"...No, no."
"Really not?"
"I actually...saw Mr. Su Ming's phone..."
"what?"
"That...I deleted them all."
"?!"
"No, don't look at those... just look at me."
"Okay, okay, you read it secretly and deleted it for me, right?"
I hate that Mr. Su Ming is interested in other women. Even if it was only opened less than ten times, it was strange to see the woman in the video.
It’s normal to be jealous, right?
3 month 7 day.
The temperature difference between day and night is getting bigger and bigger. In order to keep warm, Mr. Su Ming said that he should go out and find more steel charcoal and bring it back.
I went out in the morning, and it's already ten o'clock in the evening, and I haven't come back yet.
I went to the roof and went back to the room many times. I really want to go directly to the entrance of the mall and wait... But even though Mr. Su Ming said that the mall is safe, I still don't want to cause trouble to Mr. Su Ming. So just wait inside the supermarket.
"……vomit."
After vomiting several times in a row, I picked up the pregnancy test stick that I had asked Mr. Su Ming to get back... there were two lines.
I have Mr. Su Ming’s child.
3 month 12 day.
I didn't say that I was pregnant.
It’s not that I don’t want to say it.
Instead, Mr. Su Ming came back later and later.
I started to have a very strong hunch... He wasn't just out looking for something, there was something else. I don't want him to do it, but it is the right thing to do in principle.
I get it now.
Why am I not satisfied?
I hope that Mr. Su Ming is always around...within the range of what I can see with my eyes open. No matter how shameful I am asked to do, I am willing and even happy to do it.
But recently the frequency of those things has gradually decreased. I also know that it’s not that he’s not interested in me, but that he’s... a little tired.
knew.
Except me and Xiaoxi. Mr. Su Ming also has a real sister whose life or death is uncertain.
Can I say to Mr. Su Ming, for me... forget your family? There is no way to say, I will definitely be hated. As a wife... you shouldn't say such things.
It's really painful.
Whenever Mr. Su Ming goes out, I almost feel suffocated.
"……Bon Voyage."
But I can only say these four words.
I can't say, please stay... I want to do my best to arouse Mr. Su Ming to be more interested in me, but I can't do that when I see his tired face. I even hope... that he can have a good rest. For this reason, I can stay up for a long time and stare at his face until I fall asleep unconsciously.
The future...no one can predict whether it will be beautiful or cruel.
I want to grasp the present more than the illusory future. I would be very happy if I could give birth to offspring for Mr. Su Ming within a limited time. Presumably Mr. Su Ming will too.
But now, if I say I have a child... will Mr. Su Ming be in a dilemma?
There are no doctors or hospitals here. I might cause extra trouble for Mr. Su Ming.
So, should we abort it? Will there be medicine in the pharmacy opposite?
"..."
I went there secretly but couldn't find any medicine.
My thinking is a bit confusing. I wonder if Mr. Su Ming will stop going out because I am pregnant? Even if it’s just for a while.
Could I have a mental problem?
The doctor also said at the beginning that it might not be noticeable...but I probably have symptoms of depression, mania, etc.
No.
If Mr. Su Ming really wanted to travel far, he would tell me instead of being suspicious. It was written in the magazine... The most important thing between husband and wife is trust.
"...Woo."
Mr. Su Ming came back later today than the day before yesterday.
It's past one o'clock in the morning and I haven't gotten back yet.
At first, I just wanted to use the pain to remind myself to wake up and stop thinking nonsense. But unknowingly it turned into... Using a utility knife to make a small wound and watching the tiny blood spill out, I could gain a brief moment of peace.
If one is not enough, I will seek more lasting pain.
Addicted.
No, if you do this again, you will be discovered...and disliked.
I must tell Mr. Su Ming personally after he comes back this time...what?
What should I say, because I'm scared...so please don't do anything and just stay with me? Just eat the bare minimum.
It will only make Mr. Su Ming... feel that he is a complete burden.
What should I do?
I couldn't bear it anymore, so I stretched out my hand and cut again...it hurt. It seemed that the cut was too deep, and more blood spilled out than usual.
It had to be fixed with a band-aid, and if it was discovered, it was said that it was accidentally scratched while using a kitchen knife. When Mr. Su Ming heard this, maybe he would choose to stay and take care of me because he loved me? Could the wound be wider or more serious?
"..."
Suddenly, I noticed a familiar figure emerging from the door.
"Mr. Su Ming!"
At that moment, I forgot that my wrist was still bleeding, and I almost subconsciously wanted to get closer, hug... and kiss.
"I don't understand, what's wrong with you?"
I didn't come back to my senses until my injured wrist was picked up and bandaged...
My self-harm was discovered.
"This, this is...accidental..."
wrong.
I was caught in the act, excuses don't work.
Unable to look directly into Mr. Su Ming's eyes, his teeth chattered uncontrollably.
Chapter 33 You are just sick
3 month 14 day.
early.
'Big brother...sister is a little strange lately. '
In fact, Su Ming already knew something was wrong with An Xiaoxi before she pulled her clothes and whispered.
[Character: An Shiyao]
【Favourability: 151】
[Description: A girl who has extreme love for you. But due to excessive paranoia, there is a high probability of mental breakdown. 】
Because the value has increased so much, the description has also changed.
There are concrete signs, too.
Whenever he turned around, he would always meet his eyes.
The room always smells of air freshener. It is said that after spraying and then opening the windows to ventilate the air, the air will become better.
There are always small areas of half-dry, half-wet mattresses with wrinkles...and some clothes and even items that I have used.
Knowing that An Shiyao did something unspeakable while she was away.
If you're just in love with yourself, then it doesn't matter.
"This, this was accidental..."
But there is no 'normal' explanation for slashing my wrist with a knife.
"..."
An Shiyao knelt on the mattress, her wrists still bleeding...trembling.
"..."
She was sprinkled with hemostatic powder, disinfected, and then wrapped in a bandage.
Su Ming didn't go to wash up, but sat on the edge deliberately not to look at her.
"I used to think that love was an additional relationship that people had for survival and reproduction, a kind of obligation that people can give up. Maybe it would be easier, but if not, that's it. Maybe I could be considered half a non-marriage person before. .”
"Until now, I think...those who are not willing to get married are those who are emotionally frustrated, or have low self-esteem like me before and are unable to find the right person. Once you feel the warmth, there is no reason to treat something that is all good. Do you still want to refuse?"
"Me too, a newbie in relationships."
"I don't think you have to unconditionally obey and support me, but in reality I still have a preconceived notion that I don't need to take care of you too much. After all, you have always been very sensible."
"So I didn't think deeply about it. If you stay outside for a long time, you will have a very hard time."
"……Feel sorry."
"..."
I don't know how long it took, but An Shiyao finally took action.
The hands hugged Su Ming's ribs tightly. Her face was buried in her shoulder, because she had cried... and her clothes were a little wet.
"...how could it be...it's your problem, it's me..."
"Of course you have a problem."
Su Ming immediately took over the right to speak, "Only people with abnormal brains would harm themselves."
"..."
Her eyes dimmed instantly, "Yes... I did something wrong..."
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