Unrequited Love

Luo Zhi's mother decided to move with Uncle Chen to his hometown in Guangxi after the Spring Festival.

There is no need for Luo Zhi to worry about packing and packing. Her mother has always been very capable in managing life. In fact, when she returned home on the night of the New Year's Eve, all she saw was a half-empty house.

The anxiety and guilt on her mother's face made her really want to laugh. During her sophomore summer vacation, she didn't go home because of an internship. According to Luoyang, her mother did not know how many phone calls to his mother, and said over and over again: "Is it because I am going to move with Lao Chen, and the child feels homeless and feels uncomfortable and doesn't want to see me?"

This kind of cognition made Luo Zhi dumbfounded, so he flew home quickly during the National Day of the 11th that year to relieve her mother.

"I always have to be my own. What's more, in the latter part of college, many people will not go home during the holidays. Some people do internships, some prepare for exams, and prepare to apply abroad. In short, each has its own direction. Mom, you really think too much. Many, I am no longer a child."

While she was talking, she looked at her room, it was still clean, and she hadn't even moved the location of a table top.

"How did you plan for this house?"

"He has his own house in Guangxi, enough for us to live in. I have been there several times before, and I have cleaned it up."

"Why don't you just sell it here?"

"What nonsense! This house is for you."

"Give it to me?" Luo Zhi smiled nonchalantly, "I will definitely not come back after graduation. There is not much room for appreciation of this kind of old house. Waiting for the demolition is even more useless."

Luo Zhi's mother was making dumplings, and her face sank when she heard these words: "It's okay to rent out, not to sell."

"why?"

"This is left to you by your grandma."

Luo Zhi was surprised, the hot milk delivered to his mouth almost burned his tongue. She never thought about where this little home came from. After the death of her father, she and her mother moved away from her grandmother's house, lived with her grandmother's house for a short time, and soon moved here. I can't remember any other past events, as if this place should exist.

She has always known that grandmother is actually a person with cold outside and hot inside. Unfortunately, when she was a child, she was not sensible enough. She only knew how to look at people. She thought that grandma didn't like dad and refused them to enter. She was a terrifying old woman.

When she finally grew up and understood this terrifying old woman, the old woman was no longer alive.

She used to tell Luoyang that she was not familiar with her grandmother and asked him what kind of person her grandmother was. What Luoyang didn't know was that her grandmother's funeral was not the first time she stepped into the door of an old house.

In fact, even the horrible old lady has a weak side. It is difficult for the old lady to keep her heart out of the house for her daughter who rebelled against herself and insisted on marrying a small worker from a foreign country. Luo Zhi remembered that he had been taken to grandma's house by his mother like a thief, and he nodded vigorously to ensure that he would never tell anyone. Then one day, my father knew about it somehow, and he called my grandmother's house and said he was going to pick her up.

Grandma's face was so gloomy as the weather that day.

That day, it was the snowy night when her father died in a machine accident.

For more than half a year after that day, Luo Zhi's memory was a protracted war of chaos. Grandma was furious, and blamed her father's death on her mother-Kefshan. My mother made a big disturbance in the factory. After the accident appraisal came out, she was hysterical, was attracted, and was threatened by the **** hired by Sheng Huainan's father. They wandered around the grandma's house, while the mother was driven out by the scared little aunt. .

Luo Zhi looked at himself today and the woman who was bowing his head rolling out the dumpling wrappers. Suddenly he wondered if he had remembered all wrong, and if all this had never happened.

Her mother is not a purely gentle person. The setbacks in her life once honed her into a harsh and ruthless manner. When she learned that her daughter had fun with Sheng Huainan at the wedding, she slapped Luo Zhi with a slap in the face. On the ground.

Life has never treated this woman kindly. For a long time, she dragged a child who didn't understand anything, and she had to learn too much.

However, Luo Zhi always remembered one thing about grandmother.

On the dusty road, grandma took her along under the poisonous sun, silent all the way.

Luo Zhi didn't remember where he was going or what he was doing, he only remembered a dirt road in such silence. Just like that, I kept my mouth shut and walked forward with the sun. The sand hit my face without saying it hurts. It seemed to be angry, but because it was too small, I couldn't tell where the barrier was.

The mouth is dry, and the eyes are still burning.

Suddenly, her grandmother said coldly: "You wait for me here."

Five minutes later, she came back with a bottle of Wahaha and a bag of Bubu Stars in her hand, two things that Luo Zhi looked at in a daze when she saw a TV commercial when she was a child.

She hurriedly tore open Bu Bu Xing's packaging bag, was beaten by her grandmother on the back of her hand, and yelled: "The road is so dirty, eat it later! Just bear with me, can I die?!"

So she held it aggrievedly, and continued to walk. As she walked, she was still happy.

This fragment of memory without beginning and end was once the only evidence that her grandmother loved her in her heart.

"The house of your grandmother and grandfather was later sold, and our brothers and sisters paid the medical bills and shared it equally. But they don't know the origin of this place. This house was left to you by grandma's heart. I'm afraid we have nowhere to go after she leaves."

It turns out that they have been living in the heart of this old lady for so many years.

"Everyone came to pay memorial service years ago. It would be unlucky for us to come here on the fourth day of the lunar day."

"You have to come over before you leave. I didn't land until the plane was on New Year's Eve because of my internship. Why did you rush to the year before? Just take a look, where are so many feudal superstitions worshipped?" Luo Zhi finished. , Uncle Chen who was sitting in the passenger seat laughed.

"Their young people have young people's ideas, so don't argue." He turned around and said to Luo Zhi's mother, receiving the unwilling approval of the other party.

However, Luo Zhi’s mother still adheres to some of her traditions, such as burning two paper money and throwing them aside to save the kid from grabbing the money. Luo Zhi stood aside, and couldn't help but start muttering how bad the law and order in the underworld was.

She stood aside, watching her mother fiddle with the paper money with the iron hook to make sure they were fully burned, and then kept chanting hope that Luo Zhi's father would forgive him and let him relax. She definitely didn't leave him and his daughter behind.

Luo Zhi rolled his eyes, feeling a little helplessly gentle in his heart.

Luo Zhi's mother turned pale whenever she came to burn paper, and she couldn't stand still, so she insisted on sending the urn back by herself. She once again walked through the cold and empty corridor, holding the small box like ice in her hand, and suddenly remembered the scene a year ago.

Luo Zhi walked slowly, trying to find the room she had rushed into by mistake, but the parking room with red silk everywhere seemed to disappear out of thin air. After turning for a long time, she had to admit her fate and watched the house number walk back to the shelf where her father's ashes were placed.

Then he glanced at the woman sitting by the window sill.

Luo Zhi took a breath and almost threw the ashes out. Seeing her movement, the woman ran over and stretched out her hands to catch it.

"Be careful!"

The tone seemed to be closer to the remains than Luo Zhi.

"Why are you again?" Luo Zhi was surprised.

The woman was not that scary this time. She was in a normal light gray down jacket, woolen trousers and black leather shoes. She was still wearing a headscarf, her face was no longer puffy, she looked like a normal middle-aged woman.

The eyes are still beautiful, shining with the youthful brilliance of the old days.

The urn was still in Luo Zhi's hand, but the woman gently placed her rough, red and swollen hand on the lid of the box, groping over and over again, as if she would never leave her hand again.

For a long time, Luo Zhi didn't speak. She felt that she wasn't very scared. She wanted to ask something. When she thought it must be related to her father, she couldn't speak.

"who are you?"

After all, she chose the simplest question, but she didn't expect the other party to speak at the same time, and asked softly: "Can you let me take his ashes away?"

Luo Zhi reacted to this question for a long time, and asked blankly: "Why?"

"Count me please."

"why?"

"You promise me first. You wives did not come on the festival this year. I came around every day and wondered if I could meet you. I know your mother is going to the south and won't come back. You will give me his ashes. Can’t it? I won’t take it all, I only take a little bit, can’t it?"

The woman said and said, she actually knelt down.

Luo Zhi was shocked, squatted down quickly, persuaded for a long time, she just didn't stand up.

"Do you know my dad?"

"Before your mother." She said indifferently.

Luo Zhi’s flight back to school was at noon on the fifth day of the fifth day. Her mother and Uncle Chen’s flight was two hours earlier than her. Many of the luggage had already been delivered to Guangxi by rail, so the three of them were lightly packed, early in the morning. Just arrived at the airport.

"You two talk, I'm going to smoke a cigarette."

When waiting for the flight, Uncle Chen took the initiative to leave, leaving Luo Zhi's mother tightly holding her hand, and he kept asking.

"Mom, I'm just going back to school. If you don't go to Guangxi, I can only see you on vacation every year. What's the difference now? I will go to Guangxi every year in the future. You are making trouble like life and death. Really sad."

Luo Zhi's mother smiled embarrassedly, and talked for a while before she calmed down, just holding her hand, not knowing what she was laughing at.

"Lolo, you and your boyfriend... is he the person I think?"

Luo Zhi stepped back in surprise, seeing the complicated smile on her mother's face, which was mixed with a lot of tolerance and guilt.

"You know? How did you know?"

Her mother sighed: "Don't blame me, Lolo, you like this boy in high school, I know it all."

Luo Zhi was in a daze.

Her mother had read her diary, not just the separate one in the workbook. She didn't have the habit of locking up and hiding her diary, but she always thought that her mother would not spy. She was an excellent student in high school and had never done anything bad. She thought her mother who was busy with her livelihood would not bother to look at them. After all, her grades and manners were beyond criticism.

"I always feel that I am sorry for you."

"You still think you're sorry to my dad, to my grandmother, to everyone. I'm sorry for God." Luo Zhi shook his head.

"No. Lolo, when you go to college, I will start to reflect. You forgive mother, I have to slowly learn how to raise children, how to educate you, and care about you. You have always been silent about talking, what matters It’s all hidden in my heart. I’m feeling upset every day, crying for a while, angry for a while-yes, my heart is bitter, but I am tired of you."

Luo Zhi must admit that objectively speaking, her mother is indeed not a very good mother. She was trembling when she was a child, and grew up indifferent to everything. It is difficult for her to tell how many of these character defects are related to this, but she has never looked back on what if.

No one is born to be a mother. Mom and she have grown up all the way. To this day, both of them have changed in a good direction. This is a good thing.

Good things are enough. she thinks.

"You were almost mad at the time? That would be considered a son who killed his father and enemy." She smiled bitterly.

"I am not angry."

"impossible."

"I'm serious!" She held Luo Zhi's hand tightly and sighed, "I thought at the time, this is all fate. When you were a kid, I beat you because you played with his children, and then... But this is all fate. I want to talk to you, but you are buried in my heart. I am afraid that it will make you sad if you say it badly. You finally have a lot of cheerfulness, I just think, like it, like it. Girls will like anyone at this age, and it will be better if the time is long and faded."

"What if it can't be better?" Luo Zhi suddenly felt that her nose was sore, she turned her head, not wanting her mother sitting on the right to see it.

"It's not alright, that's it."

"Well? Don't you feel sorry for my dad like this?"

"That is a matter between adults. As long as you are healthy and happy, I can be worthy of him."

mom. Luo Zhi closed his eyes, tears on his cheeks like two hot rivers.

Her flight was late, so watching her mother and Uncle Chen leave step by step, her arms were sore. For a moment, she actually wanted to sing "Sister, please go forward boldly" to her mother-this deviant whim could only be buried in her heart.

If her mother knew that she had spent a long time in the building prying open the ashes and helping others steal her father's ashes, she would probably not get on the plane with such peace of mind.

It was a story she didn't want her mother to know. The childhood sweetheart, two are willing, only because the man’s mother wanted to cling to another family, arrange jobs and settle the hukou for several children in the family, was torn apart abruptly. The woman gave birth, and her filial son obediently married the person she introduced. The wife gave birth to a daughter, and she wanted the child to be named after her grandmother, driving his mother crazy. When a couple of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the family were upset about the child's surname, he ran out of the house in anguish and went to someone else's house to change the gas tank for the first love's beloved woman.

The ashes are dead things, and the spiritual seat is just a piece of plastic that is extremely expensive.

All this has meaning because of the longing of living people.

Luo Zhi filled a half bag of ashes and said, "Don't come again. You can take it away."

She watched the woman leave, and she watched her mother leave. This story will go away with her vague memory of her father. At the beginning, she failed to keep her diary, letting it reveal her secrets, but she must keep her mother's insistence.

Her father probably didn't love her mother.

But this suspicion can only be held in her heart.

If it's not love, how can a woman be fair to his death, holding scissors in her bag and confronting the gangsters all over the street.

Therefore, it cannot be love.

The past is over. In the future, she will give happiness to her mother and herself.