Unrequited Love

When the lilacs swayed across the campus, early summer came.

Jiang Baili often updates her photo with the yak in Qinghai. It is said that within a few weeks of his arrival in the local area, the boy she liked returned to Beijing for a job in a large company, and there has been no news ever since. However, Luo Zhi did not see that Jiang Baili was too depressed. She said that she could cry to the yak if she had any concerns.

"I just found out that my freshman year was a tragedy," Jiang Baili wrote in a text message. "You will never even put a P. Sometimes people yak can call me twice in response."

Luo Zhi occasionally received text messages from Ding Shuijing, and as usual, he felt like a letter with no-headed emotions and complaints. The difference is that now she basically responds. She also went to 798 together with Xu Riqing and Zhang Mingrui. Of course, they went separately.

She switched to an internship in the legal department of a Fortune 500 company. As she could not take the CPA test before she graduated, she had to go to places like Bengbu, Anhui where the qualification requirements for registration were not strict, so she basically spent her free time studying. I feel at ease.

Sometimes I exchange e-mail with Zhu Yan and chat with two children on video.

But never mention Sheng Huainan.

Everyone said that Luo Zhi had changed. She began to have many friends, became laughable and easy-going.

One Saturday afternoon, when Luo Zhi was about to finish working overtime, his cell phone suddenly rang. She thought it was a call back from the ticket agency, but she answered without seeing it.

"Hello!"

"Luo Zhi."

Cold white light, the 43 unread mail marks next to the inbox, the touch of high heels sinking into the carpet, the sound of printers spitting out paper next to it, and the silhouette of colleagues walking fast and moving outside the glass curtain wall of the conference room...

These paralyzing and protecting her barriers instantly fell apart with the call on the phone.

Before Luo Zhi reached the subway exit, he saw Sheng Huainan.

The white young man stood beside the credit card machine at the exit, his figure hidden in the crowd, and green Huzha'er appeared on some thin faces. When he saw her, he curled his mouth and smiled like the wind of late spring.

She walked quickly, but had to make a detour along the guardrail. He was behind the crowd, following her path, separated by guardrails and moving heads. They seemed to be following each other's steps on both sides of the river, glimpsing each other's figures passing by from the gap.

Luo Zhi finally stood in front of him.

An hour ago, on the phone, Sheng Huainan asked her: "Do you know where to see Beijing?"

Luo Zhi felt that the voice came from another world.

She looked up at the wall clock on the wall and said softly, "Yes, I know a place where I can see Beijing."

After so long, they did not talk about the current situation, nor did they greet each other.

Actually talking about Beijing.

At five thirty in the afternoon, Jingshan.

They are like an ordinary couple of tourists who come for sightseeing, but they don't hold hands. They didn't speak much, but they weren't unfamiliar, as if everything in the middle had been put on hold for the time being, and it didn't affect them to pick up the moment.

Luo Zhi was not here for the first time, so she walked faster and led him through the sparsely populated garden. This park is really small, there is no particularly beautiful scenery, you can see the mountains when you open the door, and the mountains are surprisingly short. Walk up the stone steps and reach the top in just fifteen minutes.

All the mountain tops in China are nothing but pavilions.

"I heard that there is a tree at the foot of this mountain where Chongzhen hangs itself, but I don't know where it is."

"You said, what was the emperor thinking when he committed suicide?" Sheng Huainan asked.

"How do I know," Luo Zhi smiled, "I'm defeated like a mountain, and I'm a man who has been on the top all his life. How can we know what I think in my heart. No matter what it is, it is nothing but despair."

It is nothing more than despair.

She knew that she had made a mistake and felt that he would not be so vulnerable, so she just closed her mouth and didn't say anything to relieve her.

The high heels kicked and stepped and got stuck on the rough granite level. She exclaimed, leaned back, and almost fell down, fortunately Sheng Huainan held her waist firmly.

Luo Zhi had a lingering fear, Sheng Huainan looked at her clothes thoughtfully: "Are you going to work today?"

"Well, overtime."

"How does this shoe climb the mountain?"

"The mountains are not high. They are all stone-level. I'll just be careful." Luo Zhi finished speaking, withdrawing his left foot a little bit, and found that blood blisters had been worn out on the heel.

Sheng Huainan frowned, silently, walked to the next step, and slowly squatted down with his back toward her.

"I am carrying you."

She was stunned, and he turned around and smiled at her: "Hurry up, don't dare!"

Luo Zhi took off his shoes, carried them in his hands and walked over, gently lying on his back. The juvenile’s body is no longer just the fragrance of washing powder, but also the smell of youthful sweat. The weight of Luo Zhi's whole body was on his back, his chin rested on his left shoulder, and his heart was hot.

The narrow stone path spiraled upwards until the stone steps became wider and the pavilion was visible. The high heels in her hand swayed with his steps.

She began to wear high heels, began to change, began to become peaceful, began to accept different people into her life, made friends, made jokes, and no longer weighed every gain and loss on the scale of dignity.

This is all good.

It's not as good as this road will not end.

When we reached the top of the mountain, it was the setting sun.

There are handrails and wooden benches on all sides of the pavilion. He randomly found a direction, first put her on the chair and sat down, and then sat next to her. In the entire pavilion, there were only two of them and an uncle who put his legs on the guardrail while hanging his throat. The uncle wore a really good half-sleeved shirt and tied it in his belt. Sheng Huainan's self-assurance also infected Sheng Huainan. His face suddenly became alive in the afterglow of the setting sun.

"I thought it was only suitable to open your voice in the morning." He laughed.

"Which direction are we heading?" Luo Zhi ignored him and was confused by himself. The uncle suddenly stopped singing and pointed to the sun slanting west and said: "Girl, you let me say what is good about you."

Luo Zhi quickly lowered his head, and Sheng Huainan finally laughed.

She was barefoot, swaying in the air, arrogant and innocent, leaning on his shoulder, watching the setting sun melt a little bit in the tall buildings and clouds, scattered into an ambiguous cloud of fire.

There are already stars on the other side of the sky.

"I've been here, and I've identified it to the map very seriously, I'll tell you!" She faced the brilliant and colorful rays of the sun, leaning on the gray blue sky curtain with her back, and suddenly opened up, laughing unreservedly.

"Good." He looked at her with an encouraging smile.

"look.

"To the south is the Forbidden City. To the south, you can see Chang'an Avenue. From east to west, you can't see the end.

"You can see Xidan in the west, you can look hard, maybe you can find me sweaty waiting for the traffic light among the people at the big intersection near the subway. Our school is also in the northwest, too far, you can't see me here. I Sometimes I wonder if the big construction site with copper walls and iron walls is actually part of Beijing.

"You can see China World Trade Center on the east side, and it's a bustling area. Many seniors in our school are busy in that area every day, maybe we can see it.

"There is a Gulou Street in the north, and the east-west streets converge in front of you, like a Y-shape. The north-south vertical line below connects Jingshan, where we are, and the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square to the south."

It's here, it's all here.

She talked tentatively, telling him everything she could identify. Until the evening breeze blew away the setting sun, until the uncle who was hanging his voice did not know when he disappeared, the sky was quiet, and the lights on Chang'an Street were on.

Tiananmen Square, the Great Hall of the People, and many other majestic places she couldn't distinguish, even though she had been in Beijing for two years, she had never seen it.

There will always be overcrowded there, crowded with countless people who have curiosity and dreams about Beijing, lining up in front of various unattractive buildings and statues, comparing the V-sign, and leaving a proof of their involvement with the city.

Then some people choose to stay, and some people just want to take a look, and they are satisfied.

She didn't know if it was Beijing.

The lights of Guomao and Xidan are also lit, and there are many tall buildings, each working independently, like two groups of indifferent people with their hands behind their backs, facing east and west. The neon lights are flowing with brilliance, I don't know if it is the blood that this city depends on for a living.

So is it Beijing?

Beijing is the Forbidden City in the darkness of the sea in front of you?

Or is the future of Beijing really in a corner that is not visible to the northwest, because there are countless young people who come to conquer it?

Or in the alleys she would never be familiar with, on the coast of Houhai where the uncle tricycle shuttled past, on the horses where she walked the birds, pulled the erhu, and talked about current affairs under the roots of the Forbidden City?

Where else can they go to see Beijing.

"My brother told me that there is a tall building near China World Trade Center, where the urinal of the men's toilet on the highest floor," she paused embarrassedly, and continued, "It is facing a piece of glass, floor-to-ceiling windows, you can see The night view of Beijing is very beautiful."

Sheng Huainan laughed: "That would really give people the feeling of peeing all over Beijing."

Luo Zhi clapped his hands and shouted, "Yes, that's the sentence. They often say when they are depressed: ‘Go, pee Beijing!’"

This unsightly statement made both people excited.

"I didn't expect that I would leave Beijing like this."

Sheng Huainan looked at the lights of Wan's house in all directions with a low voice, but not very sad.

Luo Zhi learned from Zhu Yan's e-mail that they finally managed to complete the formalities. Under the strong request of Sheng Huainan's mother, he still obeyed her wish and prepared to go to Singapore with Zhu Yan and apply for university there.

"There's nothing wrong with this, I believe that if you lose your horse, you know bad luck, especially when the protagonist is you." Luo Zhi said sincerely.

He smiled gratefully.

"What are you doing this year?" Luo Zhi asked softly.

Sheng Huainan did not answer. Instead, he stood up, walked up to her, and said solemnly: "I came to see you today, hoping to replace my parents and say'I'm sorry' to you and your mother."

Luo Zhi did not look at him, nor did he show any expression of surprise. He just looked into the distance and asked him softly, "You all know?"

"At that time, I went home to go to the funeral for my grandfather. It was because my father was taken away from home. There were too many evidences against them. My mother didn't even mention any of them. Maybe I didn't want me to see them too. What an unbearable side. Although I have already seen enough."

Luo Zhi didn't know if anyone had ever seen Sheng Huainan like this, frank but not fragile, as if finally spreading everything out to her.

"I asked a lot of uncles and uncles who were in a good relationship with my father at the time to find out about it. Of course, I said a lot, but in fact they gave me a closed door, and only one person saw me in the end."

Sheng Huainan's shoulders have lost a lot of weight. When he carried her, Luo Zhi could already feel her shoulder blades lining her throat.

"My mother had hyperthyroidism, she was scary, her eyes protruding, she was very energetic, and she was crying at home day and night. I was carrying a gift and ran to ask everyone who might help, without exception. Dad’s business is over, there is no room, but I want to save my mother. She is just a doctor. For so many years, she has been trying hard to stop my father from these things, but without success, after all, it is her husband, and Her husband who has been silent for several years, she...I don't want her to have nothing, and to pay this price."

Sheng Huainan scratched his head, sighed, and smiled awkwardly.

"But I don't have the ability. I don't even know who I should look for or how to ask for such things. I poked at the security room of the people's community and was ridiculed like a fool. The world is cold. I only know that my so-called so-called His excellence and ability are all built on a stable foundation. Once destroyed, I’m just an idiot, and I can’t even ask for security."

His voice is still very nice, with a youthful vigor and cleanliness, even if he talks about embarrassing things, it still has an understatement.

The understatement made Luo Zhi dare not think deeply.

"In the end, I finally grabbed the life-saving straw, and lost my degree. My mother was hemoptysis and passed out. Fortunately, the sacrifice of the degree was also worth it. In the end, she was fine.

"After she was healed, I mentioned you to her. I said I needed to go to Beijing and give you an explanation. After listening to it, she thought for a while, and she fainted again."

Sheng Huainan chuckled and scratched his head.

"Later, Zhu Yan told me later." He also called her Zhu Yan, not aunt.

"I just asked my mother. She admitted that it was my father who was responsible for the purchase and received a lot of rebates. The problem with that batch of machines was serious, and almost all of them were scrapped. Your father The accident was the fault of the machine and my father’s fault."

However, in the end, the accident was determined to be an operating error and leave without authorization, and the responsibility rested with Luo Zhi's father.

Sheng Huainan paused for a long time, took a deep breath, and said slowly: "It's because he is too greedy and shameless, and despise life.

"What I can do is just say'I'm sorry' to you and your mother on their behalf."

The boy's words are serious, and his eyes are reflected in the distant lights, as if it will go out at any time.

That is his father, no matter how clear it is, no matter how hard it is, it is like reading a story of someone else, and then using the greed and shamelessness of the strange man in the story to describe the image of the father who is still deeply emotional in his heart-Luo Zhi's heart Mixed feelings.

"Okay, I will accept it for my mother."

She is also very solemn.

"What you should bear has been done."

Sheng Huainan shook her hand gently, and Luo Zhi found that her hands were no longer as warm and dry as before, just like the hands of a drowning person holding a life-saving straw.

She can only hold him tighter.

"Until now, I still feel that this is like listening to other people's things. Although I know in my heart that the conveniences in life, the too easy opportunities, and even the car to and from school, are outside the rules, but it is true. I'm used to it. I know that he is not completely upright, and even appreciates his many ways of working. But I never thought that this kind of thing was actually done by him."

Luo Zhi knew how difficult it was for him to say these simple sentences. She gently stroked his back until his stiff shoulders slowly relaxed, turned his face, and smiled gratefully at her.

"I didn't contact you during the time I went home and after my degree was cancelled. I know you are looking for me, but the person I don't want to face the last is you."

"I know."

"I'm afraid you sympathize with me."

"In your heart, sympathy is equivalent to looking down on it?"

"Neither do you look down on, nor do you sympathize. I don't know what I want you to do to me, especially when I don't know what to do to myself."

Luo Zhi heard the sound of the helicopter, and the dragonfly in the night sky flew over the dark Forbidden City.

"Especially after Zhu Yan told me about this matter, I didn't understand it even more. Since you all know, why are you with me? Sometimes I think on a whim, and I think you are preparing to give to my father. What about revenge? Of course, my thoughts are too stupid, but I really don’t understand."

"Then you show up now because you think it through?" She asked instead instead of answering his question.

Sheng Huainan raised his head in confusion and looked at the propeller hovering above his head: "I don't know, I just want to see you all of a sudden."

I just want to see you all of a sudden.

"That's it, I have no reason," Luo Zhi smiled, "I am with you, just because I love you."

Sheng Huainan looked startled, and the wind blew up his T-shirt, as if it would fly away in the next second.

"Luo Zhi..." He just called her name without saying anything.

Luo Zhi stood up suddenly, stepped barefoot on the ground, leaned back against the fence, and faced Sheng Huainan, smiling contentedly and comfortably.

"Be careful of colds."

"Not so delicate. When I was young, I fought with others, but pinched each other's necks and rolled all the way into the mud."

When Sheng Huainan heard these words, he broke away from the emotion that was just shaking, and smiled: "Come on, don't brag."

"I fight very hard."

"Oh, yes."

"Anyone can disbelieve, only you can not disbelieve."

"why?"

Luo Zhi's long hair was facing the wind, a trace of it seeped into the night. She smiled brightly, approached him, and gently supported his shoulders with her hands: "Because if there were no me, they would really push your head into the puddle, Your Majesty."

Sheng Huainan looked at her blankly for a while, then stood up suddenly, rushed to hug her in his arms. It seems that the barriers and defenses, doubts, and swings that have always been unable to be eliminated with words can be bridged in the most natural way with primitive and simple embraces.

Luo Zhi knew that the cool poison in each other's bodies would eventually be evaporated a little by the warmth conveyed by his skin, and became transparent and clear again. Even **** can be clean and peaceful, like a river, and her unspeakable thoughts will eventually flow to him.

"Your Majesty, I can finally say it."