Unspeakable

After undergoing a series of emergency treatments, Shen Kanyu’s condition stabilized, and he was soundly asleep on the hospital bed. Seeing Gu Yansheng’s strained face, the doctor patted his shoulder and tried to soothe him, “It’s all right, we’ve applied plasters and hot compresses so he will feel significantly better now. He will be fine after getting some rest.”

Gu Yansheng nodded politely. “Thank you.”

After the doctor left the ward, Gu Yansheng pulled a chair over to sit by Shen Kanyu’s bed then opened the message sent by Su Tong.

Su Tong: [A-Sheng, you go do what you need to. I’ve just about finished dealing with things over here, you don’t have to come over.]

After replying to the message, Gu Yansheng raised his head to see Shen Kanyu frowning and restlessly pulling back the covers to expose that unfortunate right hand of his—fingernails split open when he scratched the cushion, and then his hand was stomped on by that chubby fellow, leaving it scraped all over.

Gu Yansheng tucked him back in, wiping his hand with alcoholic swabs and then grabbed a tube of ointment from on top of the bedside cabinet—he had specially asked the doctor to prescribe this for him.

He unscrewed the cap, placed the ointment on the cabinet, and while holding onto Shen Kanyu’s hand, he took some of the cream-colored ointment with his other hand to gently apply it onto the wounds.

Then he sat by the bed overcome with boredom, as he thought back to some unpleasant matters.

He recalled the last time he saw Shen Kanyu so pained, the last he couldn’t even speak clearly was when he had given birth to Tiantian three years ago.

At the time Gu Yansheng had just married Shen Kanyu and he still had that outrageously roguish and wilful temper. Simply because he chanced upon Gu Yansheng lending an unwell Su Tong a hand when he went to deliver food to him, he got so angry he threw the lunchbox on the ground and made a scene in front of everyone in the studio. He accused Su Tong of being a third party in his marriage and even wanted to rush forward while pregnant just to slap him.

Gu Yansheng was furious. Immediately after he blocked him from coming at Su Tong, he slapped Shen Kanyu across the face and told him to get lost. Also, Gu Yansheng didn’t go home and ignored his calls and messages.

Until one day he received a text message from Shen Kanyu consisting of only three words: I’m in labor.

Gu Yansheng immediately dialed back. “Shen Kanyu, what are you playing at now?”

Shen Kanyu who then was suffering from intense contractions actually managed to laugh when he heard Gu Yansheng’s voice. “A-Sheng, I-I knew you wouldn’t really urgh…leave me alone.”

Gu Yansheng sneered. “So it seems you aren’t actually in labor.”

Shen Kanyu had a sudden onset of contractions. Biting his sleeve, he endured the most overwhelming of the pain before gasping for air then chuckling. “I’m not lying to you. I didn’t know who else to turn to; many people hope I die.”

After a pause, his voice cracked, “I know, you hope for it too. But this is your child, after all, A-Sheng, please help me. It’s not going too well, I might not be able to birth this child all on my own.”

***

By the time Gu Yansheng arrived at the hospital, Shen Kanyu had already entered the delivery room. The doctor happened to come out at that moment, which let him hear a groan of agony and weariness coming from Shen Kanyu. Cold sweat instantly formed on his palms.

“He doesn’t even have enough strength to push out an 8-month-old baby.” The doctor, who was somewhat hard-pressed, glanced at Gu Yansheng. “Are you the baby’s father? Can you go in to accompany him? It’s been so long yet he can’t push the baby out.”

As soon as he heard he was allowed to enter, Gu Yansheng disregarded everything else and followed the nurse to put on sterile garments and barged into the delivery room.

Shen Kanyu bled a lot; the smell of blood was thick inside the delivery room. He lay on the bed with both legs spread wide open, an oxygen tube was stuck up his nose, and his black hair was already completely soaked, sticking to his face messily. His face was so pale it was the same color as the bedsheets, and a needle was inserted in his hand, connecting to a blood bag.

Gu Yansheng stood still. For a moment he had lost the ability to process that the person who laughed and butted heads with him just a few moments ago would become like this when in labor.

“Ah? Are you the patient’s family? Come in, don’t just stand there stupidly. Remove his hand from the bar. If he continues to hold on like that he will suffer bone damage.”

Gu Yansheng immediately hurried over to peel his hand off the birthing bar. Then after a moment of hesitation, he wrapped Shen Kanyu’s hands with his own hands.

Shen Kanyu was in so much agony that he didn’t have any strength left. In his haze, he didn’t know who was beside him and could only laboriously attempt to breathe, as if he would pass out at any moment. There was no response from him even when the doctor called for him to push harder.

“Sir, call out to him. He can’t sleep right now.”

Half-kneeling, Gu Yansheng fed encouraging words to Shen Kanyu without instruction. “Shen Kanyu, don’t sleep, try again, you’re nearly there.”

At the sound of his voice, Shen Kanyu’s eyelashes trembled with effort as he peeled his eyelids open. Once he saw him, he pulled his lips, bitten to the point they were dripping blood, into a smile and murmured, “Silly A-Sheng…I was only lying to you yet…you really came.”

“…” Against these foul words, Gu Yansheng really didn’t know how to respond.

“It’s alright…I can do it…gnghh—” Perhaps the contractions were too unbearable, Shen Kanyu stuck his belly up and fought for air. “You can leave, I’ll call you…after I deliver this baby…”

Gu Yansheng frowned. “Don’t say such useless things. Just push. The baby is about to come.”

“Eckk—” Shen Kanyu’s eyes drooped, he frowned, tossed his head back, lifted his body then pushed, but just pushing wasn’t the point. It only resulted in increasing the blood flow between his legs.

“Use your stomach. Not your legs.” The doctor corrected.

Gu Yansheng immediately passed this message onto Shen Kanyu. Shen Kanyu gasped and fought to push again. His toes even curled up as the veins bulged on his forehead and neck. At last, he felt the huge thing wedged in his birth canal move.

The doctor massaged Shen Kanyu’s abdomen in regular motions, slowly bringing the baby down.

The baby’s small head gradually reached the opening, filling that narrow and hidden region entirely so that it seemed like it would split open if it was filled anymore. Trembling with pain and feeling suffocated, even when Shen Kanyu’s pale face turned purple he didn’t dare to relax out of fear of damaging the baby’s head.

Gu Yansheng hurriedly squeezed his hand and held the oxygen tube for him. “Don’t panic, breath then try again, don’t panic.”

“Ungh—” Shen Kanyu relaxed in his efforts. He could hardly breathe as his chest violently heaved up and down. A few moments later, the terrifying purple finally left his face.

The baby’s head retracted back a little after he stopped pushing. He fought for breath, quickly pushing to resist the retraction, as stifled, hollow sounds from his exertion left his throat. Gradually their view of the baby’s head went from the size of a fingernail to the size of a ping pong ball, to the size of a football, and after the area around was stretched to the point of turning white, the part of the head with the widest circumference smoothly followed. The entire head was pushed out with a wet sound.

“Ahhh—” Shen Kanyu’s whole body convulsed with pain and he nearly fainted.

“Okay, okay, the baby will come out soon. Just use a little more strength.” The doctor spoke with relief. After all, very few people struggled like this when birthing an 8-month-old baby.

Gu Yansheng wiped the cold sweat off his chin then continued encouraging Shen Kanyu. “Did you hear that? One more push and the baby will be out.”

“Nngh—” Shen Kanyu shut his eyes and furrowed his brows. Trembling, he held his breath again and pushed. The baby’s shoulder appeared out of Shen Kanyu’s slightly torn body, then came the body, legs, feet, and finally, the entire body was squeezed out. “Uhhh—ah—”

“It’s out! She’s a little girl!”

Gu Yansheng felt Shen Kanyu instantly go limp. Fearing that he would simply pass away after the delivery, he stiffly and hastily praised him, instead of tending to the loudly crying baby. “She’s out, you’ve done amazingly.”

After delivering the baby, Shen Kanyu was so disoriented that he didn’t even feel anything when the doctor pulled out the placenta. In this state, he only heard Gu Yansheng’s words that sounded like he was coaxing a child, and a vague smile appeared on his pale face. “Silly A-Sheng…I’m so awful, why do you still care for me…”

Before he completely lost consciousness, he strained his head to face Gu Yansheng. His following words were spoken like a sigh. “Sorry…A-Sheng…”

***

Gu Yutian was born healthy; her cries were loud and her legs strong. Gu Yansheng’s parents came over to take the baby home.

Gu Yansheng thought that Shen Kanyu was fine. Moreover, his good friend Jiang Mo had come, so he left the hospital and went about his business. He had absolutely no idea that Shen Kanyu had been in a coma for three days, had been resuscitated twice for postpartum hemorrhage, received a notice of critical condition once, and had a permanent ailment that would accompany him for life because he didn’t receive proper exercise and care while in a coma.

He just knew that after leaving the hospital Shen Kanyu had become like a different person. Although he still shamelessly clung to him like before, at least he didn’t stir up trouble without reason. He had become much more tactful and sensible.

In fact, Gu Yansheng resembled his father a lot in the way he was also a very traditional person. At the beginning of their marriage, he had already dispelled all thoughts of being with Su Tong. He initially had the idea of spending the rest of his life with Shen Kanyu, but this person was truly way too daring. Day after day, he’d lord over people using the child in his belly as a weapon, threatening this and threatening that, completely exhausting his patience.

As for his sudden change in temperament, Gu Yansheng understands that he has no asset to hold over him now that the child was born so his docile nature now wasn’t really because he had turned over a new leaf. Hence he treated him with even more repulsion and coldness than before.

But to this day, Shen Kanyu hadn’t done anything that crossed the line again. Although he was as talkative as ever, he turned more and more timid and constrained.

After so many years, it was the first time he heard words like “later on, how will you be with Su Tong” come out of his mouth.

He really couldn’t see through him anymore.

Gu Yansheng gently put Shen Kanyu’s plaster-covered hand on top of the blanket then got up and left the ward.

***

Shen Kanyu was awakened by the cold.

His clothes were too thin and the blanket was kicked into a mess by him. Once the sun set, he had started feeling cold, drew in his limbs, and woke up with a sore back and an aching waist.

Since it was already dinner time, the patients on the neighboring beds were surrounded by their families, contentedly enjoying hot soup and warm porridge.

Staring quietly for a while, his mind gradually cleared up and as he slowly remembered what had happened before, a chill crept up his spine.

Oh god, what had he done?

He made A-Sheng carry him on the streets, dripped sweat over the backseat of his car, made him send him to the hospital and even pay a bunch of medical fees for him in advance.

A-Sheng was so busy yet he kindly went out of his way to drive him to the market. He really was too much of a trouble-maker to swamp him with these troublesome things, and all in one go at that. Only a good-tempered person like A-Sheng could put up with him. If it were his parents, they would’ve long since hung him up to beat him.

Just a pained waist could cause such a mess; this damn thing was simply weaker than a delicate flower. When had Su Tong ever been like this?

No wonder A-Sheng likes Su Tong and doesn’t like you.

Shen Kanyu silently taunted himself.