Unspeakable

Gu Yansheng frowned and stared in the direction of the wishing wall, although from where he was standing the place was very dark and he could not see anything clearly, he always felt as if something was pulling his heart tightly as he looked at this direction.

He walked quickly to the lighting technician.

“Shifu, can you help to put the spotlight on the wishing wall?”

The lighting technician was stunned.

“Now? Turning on the spotlight without warning may cause riots.”

Gu Yansheng said quickly, “I’ll bear the consequences.”

“But ……”

“Sorry, I really have something urgent.”

However, before the lightning technician could do something Gu Yansheng who was for an unknown reason was sweating profusely on his forehead couldn’t wait any longer directly turned the rotatable console by himself, controlled the spotlight, and quickly threw it into the direction of the wishing wall.

There was an uproar in the audience, but Gu Yansheng had no time to take care of it because he clearly saw the thin figure in broad clothes in the crowd.

Only after a few days, he was away he was almost skinny as a sheet of paper.

“Operation error, everyone continues.”

Gu Yansheng picked up the microphone and finished in a hoarse voice as he withdrew the spotlight and quickly rushed towards the location of the wishing wall.

But when he got to the wishing wall, he didn’t see Shen Kanyu. It’s as if the figure in the spotlight just now was just his illusion.

Tang Xiu pulled Tang Zhen through the crowd and squeezed in front of him. He opened his mouth and scolded.

“Gu Yansheng, are you crazy? You are not a child anymore to play with infrared lights, don’t you know how dangerous it is?”

Gu Yansheng didn’t even look at Tang Xiu. He was still panting and desperately looking for Shen Kanyu in a pile of strangers.

Tang Zhen stepped on Tang Xiu’s foot and said.

“Are you stupid? A’sheng is obviously looking for someone, you only know how to throw tantrums.”

The high-heeled shoes don’t just hurt but really hurt. Tang Xiu was in so much pain that he doubted his life. He took a breath of air-conditioning, and even his physiological tears were about to flow out.

Tang Zhen didn’t care about him. She reached out and grabbed Gu Yansheng’s arm.

“A’sheng, are you looking for someone? This sister will help you find it.”

Only did Gu Yangsheng notice the presence of Tang Zhen, he gasped and called out to his sister in a low, hoarse voice.

Tang Zhen saw that his eyes were a little red and hurriedly comforted.

“Oh, don’t cry, don’t cry, sister is here. Tell sister what you’re looking for, and sister will help you find it.”

“Shen Kanyu…”

Tang Zhen blinked twice.

“…… Kanyu? Aren’t you supposed to bring him to play? You lose him?”

Gu Yansheng’s eyes flickered for a moment, looked at Tang Xiu, and said in an anxious tone.

“I saw Shen Kanyu, Tang Xiu.”

If it was usual, Tang Xiu would have killed him because Gu Yansheng didn’t call him brother and instead called Tang Zhen his sister but hearing Shen Kanyu’s name, Tang Xiu felt like a bomb was thrown into his head, blowing his somewhat confused brain clear through and through.

He then remember the man that just showed only one pair of eyes that felt strangely familiar.

Familiar because it looks like someone he knows.

Strange because the glow and emotion in those eyes were completely different from the person he knew.

He didn’t see Shen Kanyu very often. The last time he saw him, he was still ill and his eyes were closed which was different from before. Every time he saw him before, his eyes were bright, he talked a lot and liked to laugh and his smiles’ curved. His small eyes and plum eyelids were round and delicate, and his lips were wide open, revealing a mouth with white and neat teeth. Nine out of ten sentences were all about Gu Yansheng.

How did he become so afraid of others approaching him, why were there only grayness and fear in those eyes?

Gu Yansheng, what the hell did this bastard do?

“Gu Yansheng, wait until I find him before I settle the score with you.”

After Tang Xiu finished saying this, with gritted his teeth he dragged Tang Zhen outside the venue.

Tang Zhen was dragged along in a daze before turning her head to Gu Yansheng and said.

“A’sheng, don’t worry, we’ll go help you find Kanyu, don’t run around here!

“Come on you stop talking to that kind of heartless man!”

“What kind of temper are you throwing, you really look like an arrogant and twisted omega you know.”

“What strange things are you saying there? You look over there, I’ll go this way.”

__

When Tang Xiu found Shen Kanyu, he was hiding in a narrow passage in the middle of two buildings—because it was so narrow that it could not even be described as a passage, just a gap, but he was able to get in between that gap. He could only imagine how thin to point of all bone he was.

He still does not know that Tang Xiu has seen him as he curled up in a ball with his head down inside the gap, the whole person was shivering.

After he was caught in the spotlight, he ran out of the reception hall desperately. Now he had difficulty breathing so he had to take off his mask. Gasped could be heard from his pale and dry lips, and his face was covered with wet tears.

Tang Xiu saw the corner of his mouth was cracked, paste with fuzzy dried blood, and there were obvious bruise marks on his face, at first glance, it was obvious that someone injured him badly.

He has one hand covering his upper abdomen, he doesn’t know where it hurts but when it hurts hard he opens his mouth and bites his sleeve. Not only does he cry without sound, but when he was in pain there was no sound except for the very lightly suppressed gasps. The whole person was quiet and well-behaved, really like a fish that couldn’t talk.

Tang Xiu took a deep breath, afraid to scare him, and he slowly squatted down. His voice and movements were very soft.

“Xiao Kanyu—”

Shen Kanyu was still frightened as the whole person shuddered before he twisted his head to look at him in fear and confusion, his big and expressionless eyes were full of bloodshot and water.

“…… It’s me, brother Xiu,”

Tang Xiu’s heart was so sour that he almost couldn’t speak and sighed before saying.

“It’s really you, why did you pretend not to recognize me just now, hmm?”

Shen Kanyu shook his head carelessly but didn’t speak. He just stopped looking at Tang Xiu, lowered his head, and curled up tighter than before. He tightly held a vacuum-packed thing tightly that he didn’t notice the sharp edge of the packing had cut his palm and the bright red blood slowly fell on his old clothes one by one.

No matter what Tang Xiu said, he does not listen, nor did he speak, and refused to come out. His high fever made his cheeks red and his consciousness dull, but he never gives up the last self-protection he had.

He was really scared and hardly feels safe at all.

Tang Xiu doesn’t know what he’s afraid of, but he knows that people without a sense of security like to stay in a small world with dim light because it’s not easy for others to see them and it’s difficult to hurt them.

He could not easily find such a place, naturally, he refused to leave no matter what.

Finally, it was Tang Zhen who came over and coaxed him out word by word with gentle words.

“Hello Xiao Kanyu, do you remember me? I’m your sister Zhen.”

Tang Zhen squatted in front of him and gently touched his dry and soft hair.

“When you and A’sheng got married, I gave you a red envelope, do you remember?”

Shen Kanyu reacted. He coughed twice and covered his upper abdomen hard. Some subtle light gathered in his turbid eyes.

“Red envelope…”

“Mmm, yes!”

Tang Zhen nodded vigorously, her hand still rubbing repeatedly and gently in his soft hair to soothe him.

“Red envelope! I’m sister Zhen who gave you the red envelope!”

“Red envelope, I, I return it,”

Shen Kanyu rubbed his eyes, lowered his head, and rummaged in his coat pocket. He turned out a few hundred yuan and some change and took it to Tang Zhen in both hands.

“Sorry, it’s not…enough in here. I, I’ll make it up in a few days. I’ll make it up.”

“…” Tang Zhen saw the crumpled money and his bloody hands, and the tip of her nose was sour.

His left hand, which was cut by the bag was still bleeding and soon stained the banknotes. He didn’t wait for Tang Zhen to pick up the banknotes after waiting for a while and retracted his hand back.

“Sorry sorry sorry, I I I soiled …… sister you wait for me, wait for me for a few days, I’ll give you new ones, sorry. “

Tang Zhen sucked her nose and quickly picked up the small stack of banknotes.

“It doesn’t matter, you’re not dirty. Sister doesn’t dislike you, so don’t dislike sister, will you?”

“Okay.”

Shen Kanyu nodded dazedly and agreed softly, but he raised his head and smiled cautiously at her with some joy, his cheeks were burning red looking terribly cute.

Someone was asking for what he gave them.

He was so happy, that he giggled and didn’t know what to say.

“Then sister will take you to eat, okay? What do you like to eat?”

“… preserved egg and lean meat porridge.”

“Sister can cook it. Can I make it for you to eat?”

“……” Shen Kanyu looked at Tang Zhen in a daze, the watery light in his eyes quickly coalesced and soon turned into tears, drops after drops rolled down from his eyes.

Tang Zhen thought she had said something wrong to make him cry, but it turned out, as his dry, gray lips quivered and his eyes fell into a trance he softly called out for his mother.

“Mom made the …… most delicious …… savory, sweet, and very soft potpourri ……,”

He lifted his sleeve and wiped his tears haphazardly. He treated Tang Zhen as his own mother, giggling while choking on nonsense

“Mom, are you, are you not angry with me anymore? I know I’m wrong, don’t …… you don’t want to be angry, okay? You smile, smile …… Daddy will get better ……”

Tang Zhen didn’t understand what he was talking about, she just knew that he was confused. But since he was seeing her as his mother she followed suit and showed him a very gentle smile with red eyes.

Shen Kanyu laughed, choking in a hoarse voice he said to her.

“Mom, I love you.”

“Mother loves you too,”

Tang Zhen smiled gently, stroked his face, and gently wiped the wet and cold corners of his eyes.

“Our Xiao Kanyu doesn’t cry. How about going home with mother?”

Shen Kanyu did not say yes or no, still not talking and with a strong nasal voice, he stubbornly repeated the phrase “I love you, Mom”, which Tang Zhen Natalie patiently responded to him over and over again.

I love you, Mom.

Love you from childhood to now.

When I was a kid, I wanted to go home every day just after I left the house, and I especially wanted to go home when I thought of you and my dad and my brother at home. If only you didn’t hate me, if only I wasn’t a nuisance, then wouldn’t I be able to stay at home for a long time every day and see you smiling at me.

Mom, you make the best porridge and have the warmest embrace, just once it can be engraved in one’s heart.

You know I am a calamity, stop being so nice to me.

Being near me will …… harm you, right?

Don’t you be afraid, I’m leaving here, I’ll take all the bad things for you with me

If you’re happy, smile.

Smile at me.

__

Tang Xiu found a colleague from the hospital and sent Shen Kanyu to the hospital together with Tang Zhen, while he himself went back to the venue with a belly full of fire.

The host doesn’t know what was going on right now, but he still did his job and liven the atmosphere as he walked around when Tang Zhen strode forward and grabbed the microphone in his hand.

The host froze for a moment, then revealed a professional smile.

“This gentleman, are you planning to participate in this event?”

“I participate in your mother’s activities!”

“……..”

Tang Xiu raised the microphone, even if he knew that the amplification effect of this thing was first-class, he still yelled at Gu Yansheng on the stage with the biggest voice of his life.

“Gu Yansheng!! your fish[1] is dead. Go back and catch it by yourself. I don’t have time to help you. Do you hear me?”

After Tang Xiu roared, he was too lazy to care what the people around him were talking about. He was also too lazy to take care of Gu Yansheng’s wonderful expression in the stands. He stuffed the microphone back into the host’s hand and squeezed out of the venue without looking back.

***

your fish[1]- Kanyu; Kanyu in English is fish