Use My Life For Your Happiness

Stride, go to the National Theater outside, looking at the big ball, sitting next to the pool.

Lin Xia also sat down, squatted in front of me, hugged my feet: "Chihiro, don't be angry, OK, Chihiro, Chihiro, I'm not good, you don't want to be like this again, you can scold me or beat me, as long as you don't like this."

I looked at him quietly: "Lin Xia, do you know what I saw just now?"

He shook his head: "you see too much, I don't know what you want to say?"

"Lin Xia, I give up everything, no treatment, no abortion, I will not be so cruel to the child, let God bet, live or die."

He held my hand tightly: "Chihiro, No."

"I have no way to go. Lin Xia, don't force me. You don't have the qualification to force me. From now on, I don't want to live with you or talk to you. Yes, you have seen through me. Don't try to persuade me. I don't want to live any more. I'm too tired. I'm not just for Ji Xiaobei. Although I really like him and love him so much that I can give up everything for him, now I'm still rational. "

"Don't do that, Chihiro."

"If I were alive then and the child was born for you, wouldn't you always want a child? Besides, there is no chemotherapy for pregnant women. "

"We don't want it now. We just need to cure your body. Chihiro, it's OK. We don't want all the promises I asked you for before. As long as you cooperate, we can cure your body."

"It can't be cured."

"Yes."

"My blood type, Benping is not very common, the opportunity is very small, I don't want to go, you don't want to decide my life again, my life is my own decision."

I stood up, and he hugged me tightly behind: "I don't want children, I just want you."

I opened his hand and left without looking back.

You want me, but I don't want you.

I don't want to live so much. I can't find the reason to live well.

Taking a taxi back to the place opposite the school, I picked up all my things and pulled the box to go. Lin Xia said softly, "Chihiro, I'll go. You live here."

"I don't want to live in your place."

"Chihiro, where can you go?"

I took a breath and said with a smile, "yes, you see how I got to such a field today. I don't even have a place to live. There is always a place to go. The world is big."

"Chihiro."

"Don't call me. I hate you." Roar, also can't roar you.

His face is injured, but now injured, what is the use, we should not have started, at the beginning was doomed to hurt.

He still grasped my suitcase: "I have to drag it down and see you have a place to settle down before I leave."

He's so stubborn that he won't give in. I'll go down first with my bag.

When I got on the bus, I said to the driver, "go anywhere."

In the dark night, it was very lonely. The colors of night lights are so lonely. It is clear that many familiar places have become strange now.

To a hotel, Lin Xia called to stop, the driver drove into the car. He pulled out his suitcase and went to the front to check in.

He gave me the sign: "go up, I won't worry about you."

Then he gave his luggage to the waiter and turned to leave.

I went up and looked down from the window of the hotel. Why is the night lighter than the night? I only complain about the mood and mood of people at the moment.

The next day, I left with my luggage and stayed in a place in Beijing.

The small hotel is also full of people, not lonely.

I know I don't have much time, but I've never been so quiet.

Zhixian, I didn't tell her, my friend, I cherish very much, I don't want her to feel sorry for me.

I feel my stomach in the dark, so wonderful, there is a child here.

I would have a baby again. I always think it's impossible for me to have a baby all my life.

Although, now is not the time, not what I want, not the right person, but it, after all, is life.

The first one who called in was Qiao Dongcheng.

He called me anxiously: "Chihiro, Chihiro."

I said softly, "I'm fine."

"Where are you? I'll pick you up."

"I don't want to see you, no one." Let me be quiet for a few days.

After a long silence, he said, "Chihiro, there's a way."

"In fact, it doesn't matter if there's any way. I've escaped several robberies, but I can't live like this all the time. It doesn't matter. I'm very good, and I want to be very open."

Sometimes death is really a relief.

Hang up the phone, he did not call in, a few small messages, but kept coming in, are to comfort me, told me not to worry too much, will find a match of bone marrow.

I never worry about it. If I can find it, it's fate. If I can't find it, it's fate.

After living for a week, my body is still as good as before. I don't have any maladjustment at all. I'm infertile and vomit, and I won't faint due to anemia.

Chen Jingjing called me: "Mo Qianxun, why do you have to take so many leave? Are you not going to go down this semester? It feels like you're always half hearted. "

His words woke me up.

Even if I'm not dead, I'm fine, but my life is in the state of waiting for death.

On my last day, I will continue to do what I want to do. Here, what is it?

Call Qin Rui and say to him in a soft voice: "ha ha, Qin Rui, I'm Chihiro."

Qin Rui sighed: "Qianxun, don't you treat me as a friend, so you don't give me a call."

"I'm afraid you're still angry."

"I'm angry with you. Why don't you take yourself seriously and love yourself more?"

His words are so exciting that I feel sad.

"I hate it. Why do you say that? I want to cry. I called you to ask if your previous house has been rented out. I want to go back and finish my study, even if I can't finish it this semester, but I also want to stick to it."

"Chihiro, you will find the bone marrow that suits you. Don't be too sad."

"But Qin Rui, I don't want to give up my child. I've lost one, and it's very hurt. Let it go. It may kill me, but I really don't want to give up any more. My parents are just my daughter. If I have a blog, maybe I can leave some incense for them. In the future, I can tell them, We have children in our family. "

"Chihiro, don't say it."

"So, don't bother to look for it. It depends on your relationship. If there is a suitable one, it won't wait until today. It doesn't matter. Qin Rui, I'm in a calm mood now. I've enjoyed happiness, I've suffered hardships, and I've tasted everything. If one day I really can't wake up, I'll have no regrets."

He couldn't listen to it. He said, "Chihiro, I'm going to tidy up the small apartment. You can come here by car. I haven't adjusted my mood to see you yet."

"Coward."

I laughed and scolded him, hung up the phone and picked up things.

By the time he got to the apartment, Qin Rui had already left, cleaned up and changed a lot of new things.

The sun is smeared with pots of jasmine, and the blue and white flowers are shaking in the cold wind of April.

I squatted and smelled it, and the fragrance went straight to my heart.

They didn't tell me that they couldn't find the right bone marrow for me, and I knew that.

It doesn't matter. I'm ready to open up.

Hand on the belly there, no matter whose child, is the continuation of my own flesh and blood, end to see, your life is small, I can do nothing.

Chemotherapy but no bone marrow, I can't get better, otherwise you will go faster than me.

Take a book to class, looking at some red flowers in the green leaves, this is the April day in the world, every day is so precious, and it is also the youngest day in my life.

What I remember and what I can't remember are all written in my notes. My handwriting can always prove that I have lived.

On Qiao Dongcheng's birthday, I chose a gift for the gift company to send. In my limited years, I hope I can repay you for your love.

It's also dad's death day. I took a bunch of flowers to see him and looked at him with a faint smile: "Dad, how much is our family's retribution?"

He is still so silent, Dad, is it too heavy for the child to wait?

I took your favorite wine and made your favorite meat. Today I still have to sweep your grave to see you. Maybe next year there will be no more. In the future, I don't know who will come to see me and say a word or two to me on my death day.

Dad, will it be very cold there? I'm afraid of it. But Dad, it doesn't matter. As long as you can see you there, Ji Xiaobei is not a complete person.

It's not that I'm cowardly. I've tried hard to live well. Even if I'm not happy, it will be better to vent. But Dad, I can't help it. This is life.

I don't ask for anything now. I just let fate decide.

Give mom a bunch of lilies that she likes me and leave this sad place.

There is a red sandalwood food box outside the apartment. It comes every day. It's made by he ma. I can eat it.

I didn't want to see him. He just sent it.

Lin Xia, you know, hate you is false, push you away, do not want you will be very sad.

Whether you are good to me or oppress me, I will always treat you as a friend.

Dizziness, more and more, joint pain, these symptoms also began to become increasingly obvious.

My birthday, declined a few friends accompany, a person in a small apartment.

But unexpectedly, received Cen Fei's telephone.

"Happy birthday, Miss Mo."

"Oh, thank you, cen Fei."

"Miss Mo, there's a gift. It'll be delivered soon. It's been planned for a long time."

"What's the present?" I asked curiously.

He said with a smile, "if you say it, you will be less surprised. In a word, Miss Mo, you will be very happy."

"So mysterious."

He said with a smile: "naturally, after planning and keeping secret for so long, Miss Mo, you will be very happy."

When the doorbell rang, he said, "I heard someone ring the doorbell. Miss Mo, I won't worry about you."

I open the door. It's from the express company.

What kind of mysterious gift will make me happy? I'm also very curious.