Use My Life For Your Happiness

"That's good, Chihiro. I believe we'll find it for you."

"It doesn't matter. I have the worst plan in mind. Dongcheng, here it is."

"I'll take the flowers up for you, calm down."

"Yes, thank you."

He brought it up and left after a glass of water. Almost all of them are double flowers. The hall is full. I take down all kinds of gifts on my hands and neck and put them away. What Lin Xia gives me is a very commemorative painting, spring.

Spring and sprout, spring is thriving, I know what he means.

Qiao Dongcheng took it apart and found that my photos before were new and new, with the smell of ink and color.

A piece of me, how young, how proud ah, at that time I was the most happy, the most carefree, the most unscrupulous.

The last one is the card, which says forcefully: live as before.

Oh, Qiao Dongcheng, you really have a heart.

When the doorbell rings again, you can still see it in the cat's eye.

"Miss Mo, this is the cake for you. Please sign for it. Happy birthday to you."

My favorite chocolate cake is from Lin Duan. I used to eat such a small cake with him on my birthday, which is as big as a bowl. When I finished it all by myself, I patted my stomach with a smile and said to him, "it's good to have such a delicious cake on my birthday. It's good to live. I'm so happy and I can eat so many delicious things."

I have a taste, just like before.

Very sweet, very slippery, very fragrant, alive can taste these flavors, feel a lot of feelings.

When the phone rang, I thought it was from Lin Duan. I took it without looking at it. I swallowed the cake in my mouth and said, "Lin Duan, the cake you sent is still the same flavor as before. It's very good. It's delicious."

"Chihiro, it's me, Lin Xia."

I said faintly, "what's the matter?"

"Chihiro, let's get treatment first. The bone marrow will be found and the child will be banished."

"You wanted me to be pregnant, but now you say you want me to get rid of the baby?"

He said sadly: "Qianxun, maybe you don't know how much I want to have a child of our own, so that I can hold your heart. You don't love me, so you will never know how deep my love for you is. I love you so much that I almost have no self. I know that your heart is not with me, but I am satisfied to see you every day. Give birth to a child, your life, will become perfect, no longer have too much regret and pain, we will slowly move towards happiness, one year I can't let you rely on me, two years can't, five years, ten years, I have a lifetime, as long as you look at me more, you will feel like this is very complete. I only move my heart for one person once in my life, that is you. Chihiro, I love you, so I hope you live, poor I have, lost my love, I want you to live. Let's get rid of the baby. Chemotherapy is the first step to find the bone marrow. "

I'm also a little sad. Even if Lin Xia walks into a dead end, he can't walk out just like me.

"I won't lose my child. You know everything about me in France, but Linxia, the arrival of the child, no matter how helpless or how, is absolutely innocent."

"Chihiro, I'm afraid that if you can't wait until then, I dare not gamble."

He was full of grief, which could still be heard over the phone.

"I bet that although I always roll on the road of life, the child really doesn't want to give up. Lin Xia, I don't hate you, and I don't blame you. I'm willing to trade with you for everything. The child was just an accident. I thought I would not be pregnant. Do you know that when I saw the cake just now, I suddenly felt hungry again. I thought maybe it was because the child had to eat a little more to be full. At that moment, I felt that I was not alone in this world. There was a child connected with my blood and bone. "

He said: "Chihiro, can't I persuade you?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll do what I should do. Chihiro, I'm sorry."

I hung up and didn't want to hear his apology. It won't change anything. At the beginning, I was very disgusted and hated the result of such calculation. Moreover, the father of the child was Lin Xia, which made me a little nervous.

But now I slowly accept the fact of my child and feel his existence. In France, there is no way. I can't help it. My mother blames herself because I may never be a complete woman again. In her opinion, a woman without children is not perfect.

When I was a little girl, I was instilled, so children are the bottom line in my heart.

May wind, began to warm, may sunshine, more beautiful, catkins flying in the sky that period of time has finally passed, the long wearing masks also take down, always worried that they will induce my upper respiratory tract infection, no matter how uncomfortable also have to wear masks.

The first time I felt that I needed someone to take care of me, my joints hurt so much that I fell to the ground. The phone was a little far away, and I could only shrink there in pain. I held my clothes and took a deep breath. When the pain was less, I kneaded my knees and slowly climbed to the phone.

"Dongzi, it's me."

He lowered his voice: "wait for me for a moment."

After a long time, he said, "don't you have class today?"

"Dongzi, can you come and take me to the hospital?"

He was surprised: "I'll be there right away. Is it serious? Do you want me to call the hospital to your home now?"

"No, it's just the cramps."

Extremely fast speed arrived, I have the bag ready, open the door to let Dongzi in, he anxiously looked at me: "Qianxun, where hurt."

"Now the joint is still a little painful. I think I have to go to the hospital to have a check-up. Dongzi, I have to trouble you."

He picked up my bag and stroked me out: "if you treat me as a friend, it's not like that."

The doctor gave me a detailed examination and said to us solemnly, "Miss Mo is now in a state of attack. The best way is to have an abortion and we will have treatment again."

I shook my head with a smile: "no, doctor, you give me an estimate, if I don't find bone marrow, how much time can I have?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe it will be a year and a half, maybe the next moment. Many of them leave suddenly because of intracranial hemorrhage. This is what leukemia fears most."

I took Dongzi's hand and said, "doctor, I will pay attention to my own physical condition. Doctor, will this leukemia be passed on to my child?"

"Probably not. Miss Mo is not a hereditary disease. However, the chance of these diseases may be greater

"I'm so unlucky that I don't even have children. Oh, thank you, doctor. I'll go back first."

Dongzi helped me out, feeling a little depressed: "why don't you just let the child go first, save your life first, then you want to have a baby, but don't you have a chance to have one? Is Lin Xia forcing you to keep the child

"Oh, how can it be? He advised me not to have this child, but Dongzi, my chance to be a mother may be just this once. I want a child."

"Are you not afraid of your life?" He was a little angry: "then you will have nothing."

"If that's the case, it's probably predestined. Dongzi, send me back." I thought I had to go to the housekeeping company and ask someone to take care of me.

When the weather gets hot, I start to buy clothes. I used to like to wear close fitting clothes. Now I have to choose some maternity clothes. In June, my child is three months old. I went to the prenatal examination for the first time, and I didn't draw any more blood. My body is not suitable for me.

See a lot of big belly mother, the face may not be so radiant, also can't use cosmetics and so on, but all so beautiful.

After the exam, I think I have to leave school in the second half of the semester. I really don't know if I can afford it. Every month Cen Fei will send me monthly and weekly newspapers.

Ji Xiaobei believes that people, I believe more, why do you have to take a look, cen Fei will do well.

Back to where I lived, the baby sitter saw me coming back and quickly swallowed the watermelon: "Miss Mo, you're back."

"Yes, Xiao Xin, this fish is fresh. Make fish soup later."

"Ah, fish, I can't kill fish?"

"If you want me to teach you, I can't hold a knife. I'm afraid I'll hurt myself if I'm not careful."

"I haven't killed fish since I was young. My parents used to make it. Miss Mo, if you want to eat fish soup, you'd better order a take out. It's much better than making it yourself."

I put the fish down in the vegetable sink and put some water in it. It swam freely. The fish seller said that this kind of fish is the best soup, and it's fresh only after being killed.

I called for sauerkraut and went in to change.

Hearing the baby sitter talking outside, I came out to see Lin Xia coming.

He lost weight again and brought up a box of milk.

"Xiao Xin, pour a cup of tea for the guests."

"Yes, Miss moo."

I stood in the hall and said lightly, "Lin Xia, what can I do for you?"

"Come up and see you."

"I'm fine."

The baby sitter made the tea and put it on the tea table: "Miss Mo, the fish seems to have jumped out."

"Fish?" Lin Xia looked at the open kitchen, which was just separated by a glass wood door.

I don't speak, I don't like to show weakness in front of him, and then it seems that I can't do without him. If I don't really worry about hurting myself, I will definitely do it myself.

"Some fish soup is good for your health." He added a word.

The baby sitter threw the fish in and cleaned her hands. She came out and said with a smile, "Miss Mo called to order takeout. Miss Mo, don't you need to cook the rice? It's like lunch boxes are used for takeout. "

Lin Xia frowned: "take out is OK. Let me kill the fish."

"Oh, Mr. Lin, your clothes will be dirty."

"If you are a nanny, she will pay you a high price to do whatever she asks you to do. If you can't do it, then I will step in and let the people in the housekeeping company replace you."

The baby sitter was a little stunned, and quickly went in to stew.

Lin Xia's killing fish is mostly a hand injury, let the baby sitter out quietly looking for hemostatic paste. After a while, the smell of fish soup began to attract.

He cleaned his hands and put a hemostatic paste on his tail finger. There was still a little blood on his white shirt.

When the doorbell rang, he went to open the door: "Miss Mo, you asked me to buy it out. It's 120 yuan for three dishes. "

"Keep the change." Lin Xia drew two tickets in the past: "thank you, please take it down."

"Ah?" Some of the takeout people can't respond.

Lin Xia said faintly, "it's not necessary. I've already made a good meal."

He closed the door, gave me a soft smile, and carefully said: "Chihiro, eat less of those things. The pigment and oil of takeout are very reassuring."

I nodded, went to the medicine box out: "you on some medicine."

"It doesn't matter. It's just a bit scratched. I've made an appointment with a doctor and it's time to start. You can eat more later. You don't have to worry about bone marrow. I'll find it for you. "

I called him: "Lin Xia, let's go after dinner."

He stopped to smile: "that's OK. I haven't had breakfast. I'm a little hungry now. Don't move. I'll go and put the food out."

In his eyes, the baby sitter is ten thousand unqualified, he is not a talkative person, but in the kitchen has been telling the baby sitter how to do, he is not at ease with my current situation.

After a while, he left, and the baby sitter didn't wash the dishes, so he said to me, "Miss Mo, I don't think I can do it any more. Mr. Lin asked a lot, but I can't do it."

"Well, I'll give it to you. Later."

I went in to get enough of this month's salary to her, she left with a thank you, the pot and bowl were not cleaned up, I called Lin Xia: "as you wish, let he ma come here."

He said with a smile, "OK. She really can't take care of her. I'm not sure. "

"I'm fine now."

"Chihiro, hold on a little longer. I'm going to e city now. Come back the day after tomorrow at the latest. "

"Then be careful yourself."

"You too. Don't touch everything in your family. Don't hurt yourself. You are two now. Don't be more willful."

"Well, I see. I'll get some sleep."

"I'll let he ma come up at three o'clock. Don't sleep too much."

There are so many words, but I know what he means.

The next day nap let Ruan Li's phone call to worry wake up, said urgently: "Qianxun, bad, Lin Xiage had an accident?"

"What's the matter?" I sit up.

"Lin Xiage had an accident on the highway. Now he can't get in touch with him. His car was badly hit. A friend of mine told me that it was a military car, so it spread all at once."

"I'll call him and see."

"Chihiro, Lin Xiage went to e city after hearing that there seems to be a similar bone marrow waking up with you. He had been running for several days and didn't have a good rest. My friend said that the surveillance video was before Lin Xiage's car hit the top and almost rushed down the mountain."

I called Lin Xia, but I couldn't get through.