When We Were Perfect

Sometimes in everyone's story, there is a person whose demons plays with yours, balancing out the degree of one's. Same was the case with Daniel, Amy didn't only danced with his demons but her only name was enough to silence them. Her very name was enough to make him forget all his wounds, scars and loneliness but now her defiance and harsh behaviour was resurfacing everything he buried long ago.

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"Mr Burak!" The receptionist called out in a polite tone.

The fifty-five years old man who was seated behind his desk responded turning his attention away from his book.

"I am listening Sara!"

"Mr Saritas is here and wants to meet you." She informed standing at the door waiting for his response. The man expressed his confusion, raising his brows.

"Mr Saritas!" Curiosity etched on his ageing face, slight wrinkles covering the sides of his eyes could be seen behind the spectacles that rested on his nose. Sara patiently waited by the door staring at the pale blue walls.

"Let him in!" Mr Burak responded removing his glasses. Sara smiled at him before heading out. Still confused, he composed himself to welcome his old patient who stopped visiting him a few years ago but still every detail of him was imprinted in his mind like a fresh memory because till this day, his case was one of the most complicated ones he had ever dealt with.

"Dr Burak!" A deep yet calm voice greeted, gaining the attention of the well-praised therapist.

"Daniel, I might say your visit has been quite a shock as well as a surprise for me!" Burak responded as Daniel walked and stood in front of his desk staring at the room which hadn't changed much.

"Please have a seat!" He offered gently. Daniel unbuttoned the first two buttons of his blazer taking one of the two seats placed in front of his desk.

"It's been long since I last came here," Daniel muttered eyeing his office.

"Indeed, it has been two years. I thought I will never see you again here!" Burak retorted looking at his old patient.

"You are right, the past few years have been quite hectic for me!" He pointed out drumming his fingers on his desk while biting the insides of his cheeks.

"Yeah! I heard you got married and have a son now. Congratulations!" Burak said smiling gracefully. At the mention of Ozan, Daniel's lips tugged upwards.

"Thanks!" He mumbled. The room fell into complete silence as Daniel continued to drum his fingers on the desk while Burak contemplated few things in his mind.

"You finally married her!" Burak started, breaking the silence in the room. His eyes closely observing his state.

"It was circumstances that got us married but yes I got married to her!" Daniel replied stoically.

There was something about Daniel that always intrigued Burak and made him want to help him always. But in the end, no matter how much Daniel tried to accept his past to get over it, it would always bit him in the ass.

"You look tired and disturbed Daniel, what's triggering your emotions now!" Burak asked knowing the fact that he wouldn't be getting an answer from him without hustling. Daniel finally turned his whole attention to him making him gasp internally as he gazed at his drained yet hopeful eyes. A slight ray of hope in them, the same ray of hope he always hanged onto.

"I haven't been able to sleep for many days Burak, not even for a few hours now. Every time I try to take a nap, all the memories start haunting me, I feel the pain, the distress as if the wounds on my back resurfaced," Burak listened attentively to his words.

"What's causing that Daniel, there must be something that's triggering your emotions!" He asked but Daniel remained quiet for a while,

"As long as I remember aren't you married to her, the one who you claimed was capable of pushing back your painful memories, the one who calmed your demons. Then what's troubling you!" Burak asked again leaning forward on his desk, watching him closely, trying to read any emotion on his face.

"That's the thing, Burak, everything has changed between us for the worse. Should I say everything had vanished out of a sudden. It is like she is near me but I can't feel her, hear her or talk to her!" Daniel replied clenching his jaws but Burak could see the pain that flashed his eyes when he talked about her. It came as a shock to him because in the past years whenever he came to him, talking and discussing Amy was the only thing that would enlighten his mood, his eyes would sparkle saying her name.

"But I didn't come here to talk about her today!" Daniel stated. This made him anxious. Daniel Saritas wasn't a man who would stop by to have a little conversation, during his sessions years back he only visited him on and off and never regularly because of his work. He was a busy person.

"Then what's the reason because as much as I know about you, you aren't the person to stop by for a cup of coffee just for old times sake," Burak retorted in a slightly mocking manner.

"I want you to recommend me some medicines, I want to numb these feelings, this ache. It's starting to take a toll on me, I want to sleep and lessen this pain," Daniel rasped placing a hand on his chest.

"I can surely recommend you some if you want to die!" Burak retorted in disbelief, agitated.

"Burak, you don't..."

"No! You don't understand Daniel, the medicines I gave you in the past were already enough and I gave them to you, just to take in extreme situations. Consuming any more medicines will harm you to a great extent." Burak reprimanded. Daniel slammed his hand onto his desk.

"I have a son to look after, who needs my attention. A company where thousands of employees are working under me depending on me. If this whole not sleeping and nightmare thing continues, I wouldn't be able to handle anything Burak. I need something to keep my sanity from slipping away!" He vexed trying to make him understand his turmoil. Burak only shook his head.

"That's why I am suggesting you to handle and naturally fight your battles not by taking some suppressants!" Daniel scoffed.

"What do you think I have been doing all these years, I have been fighting my battles on my own but nothing changed. If anything, they are way more disturbing now."

"Because you never let her go, Daniel, that's the disturbing thing! No matter what, you have made her your comfort source knowing more than me that she will never reciprocate anything you feel for her!" Burak reasoned but then instantly regretted his choice of words. Daniel's heartbeat plummeted but he still kept his composure rubbing his thighs.

"I wish it was that easy to forget the person you love to death so easily," Daniel replied with a fiery glare. Burak took a sigh, his eyes focused on Daniel.

"I know it's never easy Daniel and I am not telling you to forget her, I am asking you to bury that love you have for her in your heart because I have seen it in the past and observed it now that your love for her has caused you more pain and discomfort then contentment." This time Daniel didn't argue back, as it him hard that whatever he uttered was true but was he willing to give up? She still was his love and at many points of his life the very reason for his smile and happiness. Though she wasn't the same Amy as before but that didn't make him forget the beautiful past he had with her.

"Daniel I care for you like every other patient of mine and I want you to be happy. You have always masked your feelings, built a wall of wariness around your heart not letting everyone in. You are strong, just learn to be happy for yourself, now you have a child. Take some break from work and spend more time with your son. Just for once live for yourself and for those who love you," Burak affirmed trying to help him out with this situation.

"Maybe I could try this time, Burak," Daniel replied solemnly still not wanting to give up on the idea of love. He exhaled visibly staring at the clock before standing up from the chair.

"I should leave, I have a meeting in the noon. Thanks for your time Burak!" He said shaking his hand.

"Anytime Daniel but remember it's better to let go of those people who don't care about you because they don't deserve you not the other way around!" Burak voiced his opinion letting go of his hand. 

Daniel seemed to get lost in his thoughts pondering over Burak's words. Sighing, Daniel nodded his head uncertainly before leaving his office to fight another battle named 'letting go'.