Why Can't I Just be Ordinary
3 Bad Morning
Jinghe woke up to the bright light shining in from the large window on the side of the room. She'd forgotten to close the curtains last night.
Yawning and stretching out her arms, she flopped back onto the bed with a contented sigh. She hadn't slept in this late is so long. It felt amazing.
She rolled over on her side, away from the bright light, and closer to Yulan's side of the bed. She didn't want to get up and have to close the curtains; she could get Yulan to do it.
Suddenly, she realized that the spot beside her was cold and bare. It was almost like no one had slept there at all.
She bolted upright. Blinking twice, she swiveled her head around, scanning the room. Where was Yulan? She craned her neck to see past the half closed door.
Not seeing him, she took a quick glance at the clock beside her. 9:38.
Had he gone in to work? Hadn't they agreed on spending the day together, celebrating her birthday?
She decided to go check if he'd left a note. Seeing none on the bedside table, she reluctantly slipped out of bed. The moment her toes made contact with the icy ground, she involuntarily drew back. Sighing, she tried to avoid thinking about the frozen ground as she padded over to the kitchen.
Stange, there was nothing there.
Looking around, she tried to find any other clues of where he might've gone.
Then she noticed her mouse wasn't where she'd left it; it was on the right side of her laptop.
She was a leftie.
Furrowing her brow, she slowly made her way over to the black granite countertop and flipped open her screen. As she typed in her password, she couldn't quite escape the faint, niggling uneasiness in the back of her mind. She couldn't explain it; why was she so anxious?
Jinghe pulled up her bank account summary. $0.00.
She blinked.
Then she blinked again.
Jinghe closed her laptop.
She walked over the table and poured herself a drink.
"Okay, so first I'll text Xiayu and tell her I'm taking the day off today. Then I'll call Lan to figure out where he is right now..." Halfway through her thoughts, Jinghe felt a delicate drop of liquid splash her hands. Looking down, she saw a big, fat droplet of water on her hands, which were gripping the table so tightly that they'd turned white.
Then, everything stopped.
Time froze.
Then,
Jinghe broke. Shattered. A million pieces. Of her heart. Of her life. Of her success. Of her happiness. Of her sanity.
She was gone.
"I should call Lan. He'll know..."
Murmuring, Jinghe could only repeat over and over, that one phrase.
Until she stopped trying to keep herself from facing reality.
He was gone.
And so was everything else.
...
Had he ever cared?
Had he ever meant anything?
Had he loved her? Hated her?
...
Had she ever mattered?
Eyes empty, Jinghe sank onto the ground, her legs splaying awkwardly on either side of her.
The bright morning sunshine seemed desolate suddenly.
The cozy apartment seemed ginormous and alien suddenly.
She suddenly felt three times her age.
Wasn't this supposed to happen to poor old grandmas and grandpas who got scammed over the phone?
Immediately, she regretted the thought.
But.
Why her?
Out of all the 7 billion people on Earth?
But she couldn't deny it.
It hit her like a tsunami, the force of it trying to drown her and suffocate her.
The perfect life she had built up, worked her butt off for, was gone.
Gone.
Non-existent.
Ever her tears seemed to grow tired of crying for her.
Before she knew it, her eyes were dry again.
It was all over.
Everything.
And she?
She was alone.
Yawning and stretching out her arms, she flopped back onto the bed with a contented sigh. She hadn't slept in this late is so long. It felt amazing.
She rolled over on her side, away from the bright light, and closer to Yulan's side of the bed. She didn't want to get up and have to close the curtains; she could get Yulan to do it.
Suddenly, she realized that the spot beside her was cold and bare. It was almost like no one had slept there at all.
She bolted upright. Blinking twice, she swiveled her head around, scanning the room. Where was Yulan? She craned her neck to see past the half closed door.
Not seeing him, she took a quick glance at the clock beside her. 9:38.
Had he gone in to work? Hadn't they agreed on spending the day together, celebrating her birthday?
She decided to go check if he'd left a note. Seeing none on the bedside table, she reluctantly slipped out of bed. The moment her toes made contact with the icy ground, she involuntarily drew back. Sighing, she tried to avoid thinking about the frozen ground as she padded over to the kitchen.
Stange, there was nothing there.
Looking around, she tried to find any other clues of where he might've gone.
Then she noticed her mouse wasn't where she'd left it; it was on the right side of her laptop.
She was a leftie.
Furrowing her brow, she slowly made her way over to the black granite countertop and flipped open her screen. As she typed in her password, she couldn't quite escape the faint, niggling uneasiness in the back of her mind. She couldn't explain it; why was she so anxious?
Jinghe pulled up her bank account summary. $0.00.
She blinked.
Then she blinked again.
Jinghe closed her laptop.
She walked over the table and poured herself a drink.
"Okay, so first I'll text Xiayu and tell her I'm taking the day off today. Then I'll call Lan to figure out where he is right now..." Halfway through her thoughts, Jinghe felt a delicate drop of liquid splash her hands. Looking down, she saw a big, fat droplet of water on her hands, which were gripping the table so tightly that they'd turned white.
Then, everything stopped.
Time froze.
Then,
Jinghe broke. Shattered. A million pieces. Of her heart. Of her life. Of her success. Of her happiness. Of her sanity.
She was gone.
"I should call Lan. He'll know..."
Murmuring, Jinghe could only repeat over and over, that one phrase.
Until she stopped trying to keep herself from facing reality.
He was gone.
And so was everything else.
...
Had he ever cared?
Had he ever meant anything?
Had he loved her? Hated her?
...
Had she ever mattered?
Eyes empty, Jinghe sank onto the ground, her legs splaying awkwardly on either side of her.
The bright morning sunshine seemed desolate suddenly.
The cozy apartment seemed ginormous and alien suddenly.
She suddenly felt three times her age.
Wasn't this supposed to happen to poor old grandmas and grandpas who got scammed over the phone?
Immediately, she regretted the thought.
But.
Why her?
Out of all the 7 billion people on Earth?
But she couldn't deny it.
It hit her like a tsunami, the force of it trying to drown her and suffocate her.
The perfect life she had built up, worked her butt off for, was gone.
Gone.
Non-existent.
Ever her tears seemed to grow tired of crying for her.
Before she knew it, her eyes were dry again.
It was all over.
Everything.
And she?
She was alone.
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