Why Did I Become the Villainess?

I slump on my bed and punch the pillow. "You said you'll wait for me. You said it will always be me?" I scoff. "Curse you! It's just a few days passed, and it's already Princess Paislee?" I grumbled while punching the pillow.

I know this is what is supposed to happen, but my heart couldn't stop complaining. I know Prince Fraser isn't meant for Csille, but this foolish heart of mine is still beating for him, and I don't like this. 

I roll on the bed and groan. I hate feeling like this. I feel so immature right now. I am a twenty two years old woman, but why am I acting like a fourteen years old teenager? I know Csille is the real teenager here, but why does it seems like I am forgetting who I am? I am Ysavel Vlahos and not Csille Lauretré. 

Come on, Ysa, snap out of it. It's already beneath your principles when you caught feelings for Prince Fraser, and now you're acting like a teenager? 

I roll on the bed again, but I fell on the floor when I got startled because someone suddenly knocks on my door. I groaned in pain and glared at the door. 

Who the heck knocks on the door? Can't they see I'm emoting here? Give me a break, please. 

I groan when I feel pain while standing up. I think I break a bone there. I winced in pain while walking towards the door.

Curse this person! 

I open my door, and I almost close it again when I see Prince Fraser standing outside. However, Prince Fraser immediately blocks the door and sighs at me.

"Let's talk, Csille."

Talk? Who wants to talk to you? Go talk to your female lead! I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone, please. I beg of you! Don't bother this poor little Villainess. I just want a break. Can't I have that?

I try to push the door to close it, but since Prince Fraser is way stronger than Csille, the door didn't even move an inch.

"Csille, let's talk. Let me explain things. It's not-"

I sigh and open the door. Prince Fraser almost falls to the floor when I suddenly open it. It's no use running away from him because I know he won't let me off.

"What's there to explain, Prince Fraser? You're just doing your duty as the Crown Prince of the Kingdom. Someone threatened your personal knight. Of course, you need to investigate who's behind this. Is there something to explain?"

Prince Fraser sighs and looks inside my room. "Can we talk about this inside? I want to clear things up, Csi-"

I smile at him. "What's there to clear? It's crystal clear for me, Prince Fraser. You're a Prince, of course, what's more important to you is your people, right? Your people before anyone."

Prince Fraser tries to hold my hand, but I immediately take a step forward and shake my head at him. "I understand, Prince Fraser. You actually don't need to explain things here. It's late, wouldn't it better for you to rest now. We all had a long day."

Prince Fraser looks at me with pain visible in his eyes. He sigh. "You're doing it again, Csille."

I frown. Doing what? "I'm sorry, your highness, but I don't understand what you are referring to. Doing what?"

He scoffs and smiles bitterly at me. "You're pushing me away. Why? I'm willing to explain myself to you, but why don't you let me? Do you think I would be so heartless not to worry about my own fiancée?"

I avoid his gaze. You're not heartless, Prince Fraser. You're just...not in love with Csille. 

I sigh. "Prince Fraser, is there something more you want to say?"

Prince Fraser sigh and messed his hair out of frustration. "Csille, I thought nothing would change? We're just giving ourselves time to grow, right? We are just giving each other space. So, why does it feel like you're slowly drifting away from me?"

Yes, I am, Fraser. In the first place, everything that is happening between us is not supposed to happen. We cannot change the destiny, Fraser. So, I need to push you away. 

I sigh. "Fraser, can we have this conversation tomorrow? I'm exhausted. I want to rest." I pretended to yawn and look at him.

Prince Fraser looks at me for a moment before he sighs. "You're doing it again. I don't know what to do anymore, Csille. I want to explain things to you, but you wouldn't even want to listen to me. Is that even hard? All I ask is for you to give me time to explain things." I could hear the pain in his voice, and that breaks my heart too. 

I avoid his gaze. I couldn't afford to see the pain in his eyes. I'm sorry, Prince Fraser. I'm sorry for hurting you again and again. But this is the only choice I have, Fraser. The only choice.

"Fraser, there's nothing to explain here. I understand you completely. I-"

"If there is nothing to explain, why are you mad? Why are you pushing me away? Why can't you look me in the eye and said there's nothing wrong?"

I sigh. Why does he always make things difficult for me? All I ask from him is to leave me alone. I thought everything's clear with the conversation I had with him last night?

"I'm not mad at you. I'm just disappointed, Fraser. Although I understand that your people will always be your priority among anyone else, it's still disappoint me."

Prince Fraser tries to walk closer to me, but I immediately take a step back. As much as possible, I don't want to have physical interaction with him. My heart cannot handle the pain just by merely looking at him. I'm sure I'll soften when he starts to touch me or hug me.

I see Prince Fraser smile bitterly. "So, we end up like this? You running away from me every time I will come close to you? Csille why? Tell me honestly, Csille, do you hate me?"

I trembled a little when I heard his question. How can I hate him? If only I have a choice, I wouldn't dare to do this to him. I want him to be happy, but I know his happiness is not with me.

I sigh and shake my head. I can feel my tears starting to fall from my eyes. "Fraser, how can you ask me that question? I never hate you. All I'm asking is give me some time. I'm not running away from nor pushing you. How can you ask me that question?" I hear my voice tremble because of the pain I am feeling right now.

"Then why can't you let me explain? I want to explain what happened tonight. But you won't let me. Why?" Prince Fraser snaps at me. He sounds so desperate right now. 

I gritted my teeth and messed my hair. I don't know what to do anymore. I'll be honest I got hurt when I heard from Rufus that the first thing he did when he knows what happened is to lock himself in the room with Leander and Princess Paislee. 

I have feelings for him. Of course, I will get disappointed and hurt. They all know that I am the only person here when that happened. But he didn't even bother to look for me? What if someone really abducted me? I know I am only the villainess of the story but didn't he said it will always be me? What happened to those words?

I take a deep breath and look at him. "You want to know why? Because I don't like what I am feeling, Fraser. I don't like how I got hurt just by thinking that I am not included in your first priority! I don't like what I am becoming, Fraser!"

Prince Fraser takes a step forward, and I immediately raise my hand to stop him. "Please, don't come near me."

Prince Fraser grits his teeth. "Csille, why won't you let me get close to you? How can I explain things to you if you keep doing that?"

I shake my head and still raise my hand to stop him. "Stop! If you come near me-"

"What? What will you do?"

I pout at him and avoid his gaze. "It will melt my anger," I whispered, which is true. I don't want him to get near me not just because it will melt my anger but also because it will soften my heart. Which may result for me to take away my decision to push him, and I cannot do that.

Prince Fraser sigh and I heard him walk towards me. My eyes widen, and I immediately push him away, but he just caught my hands and hugs me tightly. "Does this make your anger disappeared?"

I feel my heart shake, and I almost want to hug him back, but I immediately stop myself. I cannot soften just because of a hug. 

"Fraser, please don't make it difficult for me." I plead him. This. What he is doing is definitely not good for the plot. How can I push him away if he continues to do this? My fragile heart cannot bear to push him away now.

Prince Fraser gently combs my curly hair. "Then don't make it difficult for me too. It took me a lot of convincing before I agreed to your deal but don't push me away, Csille. I know I am suffocating you with what I am doing but can you please let me explain? I promise to get back to what we have agreed. Just please listen to me first."

I sigh. Do I have any choice now? He is already hugging me, and I'm sure he won't let me go until I let him explain. "Okay, I'll let you explain, but you need to promise me that what we have talked about last night will still be valid." I need to make sure that he would still give me the space I want. If this is the only way he would leave me again, I will do it.

Although I cannot definitely tell him that I'm doing this because I am really pushing him away. I'll just tell him that I got hurt which is partially true because I really got hurt by what happened tonight.

Prince Fraser breaks from the hug and holds me on both of my arms. I scoff. He is really making sure I won't run away from him. He then guides me to sit on my bed. We are facing each other, and he is holding my hand tightly. It's as if he is afraid that one moment I will run away.

"Csille, I'm sorry if you got hurt because of me, but what happened tonight is definitely not what you are thinking."

I frown. "What am I thinking?"

Prince Fraser sigh. "You're thinking that you're not important to me? That you're not my priority? That's not true! Among all the people, you are the most important person in my life. Even more important than my own life. So, how can I sit still if I know you are still out there while some people are threatening us?"

Most important to him? I am more important than his life? I want to be happy because of what he just said, but I also know that it will change in the future. Csille will never be an important person in Prince Fraser's life. If anything else, Csille will be his most hated person in his world. So, how can I believe in those words? 

I didn't say anything and just wait for him to continue his words. Prince Fraser looks at me and sighs. He's probably expecting me to say something in response to what he said. But what will I say that he is the most important person in my life too? I mean, yes, he is, but I cannot tell him that.

"Csille..."