Why Did I Become the Villainess?

"Csille, the reason why I am inside that room is because Leander and Sir Farren lock me in there with them."

I frown. "Lock you? But Rufus said, you are the one who throw him away? Also, why would they lock you?" 

It doesn't make sense. Why would they lock Prince Fraser inside? 

Prince Fraser squeezes my hand. "Do you know how worried I was when I saw Sir Farren get out of his room with that letter in his hand? I immediately get inside your room to check if you are inside, and my whole world was crushed when I didn't find you there. You don't know how scared I was at that time. If not for Leander and Sir Farren, I would have run to the streets of the Saiven Kingdom and check every corner of it just to look for you."

I gasp. He would do that? But I am the villainess. Why would he do that? 

Prince Fraser smiles bitterly at me. "Why do you look so surprised, Csille? You don't expect that I would do that?"

I subconsciously nod my head at him. It is already too late when I realized what I have done. With wide eyes, I shake my head at him and smile awkwardly. "That's not what I mean. Please don't misunderstand it."

Prince Fraser sigh. I can see pain and disappointment in his eyes. Why do I always hurt him? 

"Then what do you mean, Csille? Tell me, what does it really mean?" I can hear him trying hard to control his voice. 

I bow my head at him. I don't know what to say to him. I want to tell him the truth that I don't expect him to do that because I know he is different when he is with Princess Paislee. However, I know that I cannot do that because it will risk everyone's life, and I cannot afford to make that happen. If this world collapse, it will be the end for me too.

Can I bear to live in the Kosmo Metaxy? Just like those spirits who failed their task? Just like Aaline and Soiartze? Living forever in the Kosmo? 

I sigh. "Fraser, please don't misunderstand me. I just didn't expect that you would do that. I've known you since we were child and I know that you always prioritize other people than yourself. Prin-" my eyes widen for a second before it came back to normal. I almost mentioned the name of Princess Paislee. Thank goodness I stop my mouth in time. 

I clear my throat. "Sir Farren is your personal knight, and he once risks his life just to save you. I know you already see him as an important person in your life. And with someone threatening Sir Farren's life, I just didn't expect that you would have thoughts like that."

Prince Fraser stares at me for a whole minute before he sighs. "Do you think Sir Farren is more important than you, my own fiancée and my future bride?"

I want to nod my head at him. It's a good thing I stop my head from nodding, or else I don't know how to explain things to Prince Fraser. 

How can I be more important than Princess Paislee? Princess Paislee is your own female lead here, and I am just the villainess. How can I become more important than the female lead? 

What would Princess Paislee say if he knows about this? Her own male lead chooses another woman than her.

I sigh. "That's now what I'm saying, Fraser. Please don't talk like that."

"If it's not what you are saying, then what do you mean, Csille?"

"What I mean is, you're not even sure if I am inside the building. Who knows, maybe I am outside. You know me. I like to sneak out. But Prin-" I bite my lips. "Sir Farren's life is in danger because of the threat. Who knows, maybe the culprit was inside the residence that time."

"But what if they took you? What if you were inside the residence when the culprit came? I cannot risk Sir Farren's life, but I cannot risk your life more than his. His life is still safe since there are many people inside the residence, but how about yours? I don't even know if you're outside or someone takes you. You're the one who is in danger. So, how can you expect me to sit still and pretend like my fiancée is not missing? Also, didn't you get mad at me because you thought I didn't look for you, but why do you sound disappointed because I didn't care for Sir Farren?"

Don't ask me. I don't even know what I am doing right now. I should be pushing you right now, but here you are, explaining things to me. 

I sigh. "I'm not disappointed because you didn't care for Sir Farren. I just couldn't expect you would do that."

Prince Fraser smiles bitterly at me. "Why do you always think of me like that, Csille? I know I am not perfect, and I do things that could hurt you. However, I won't ever risk your safety and your life. If you're gone, how can I live?"

Breath Fraser. Breath. That's how you can live. And what does your life has to do with the Villainess? If anything else, you should be happy because the Villainess is gone now, and you can start your relationship with Princess Paislee without worry.

I shake my head at him. As much as I want to answer that, I cannot. I cannot tell him the real reason behind all of these. 

Prince Fraser wait and waited for me to explain my side to him however I remain quiet. What do you want me to do? To tell you that I never intended to think of you like that? And I'm only doing this is because I know what will happen in the future?

He just sighs in disappointment. "Csille, why do you always avoid questions you don't want to answer? Don't I even deserve answers?"

I bite my lips. Trying my best not to spill what I know. I'm sorry, Prince Fraser. 

Prince Fraser shakes his head. He probably resigned himself not to force me to talk anymore. He knows no matter what happened if I don't want to talk. I won't talk. 

"And about what Rufus said? It's true. I throw him outside the room because he will only force me to look for you, and I cannot do that. I cannot let anyone know that someone threatens the Vrawyth Kingdom and that you are missing. Especially we still don't know who is behind that. What if it's the Strzalka? We definitely cannot let anyone knows about the Strzalka. Not until I haven't talk to the Queens."

I nod my head. It made sense now. The reason why he is inside the room is not because they are talking about what to do with all that is happening. Instead, it is because to stop Prince Fraser from looking for me and alert both the people in the Saiven Kingdom and the Strzalka.

I nod my head at him. "Okay, I've listened to you already. Can I rest now?"

Prince Fraser looks at me with disbelief on his face. He probably didn't expect that I would still push him away after all the things he said. 

Prince Fraser laughs bitterly. "Csille, why do you always do this? Do you know you're already hurting me?"

I avoided his gaze. I definitely know that. Do you think I would be blind not to see that? I may be the villainess, but I'm not heartless, Fraser. I can see that I've been hurting you now, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry if I always hurt you.

I heard him laugh again, but this time it's shallow. An empty laugh. There's no happiness nor sadness in it. "And now you are avoiding me again? Is this what you want to happen, Csille? To just avoids me? What happened to nothing will change between the two of us? What happened to our promise that we will stay beside each other always? Did you forget about that Csille?"

I force myself not to cry by biting my lips and avoiding his gaze. However, Prince Fraser force me to look at him. "Csille, why? Why can't you answer me? Why do you always do this? It hurts Csille. Do you know how much I like you? No, I proba-"

I cover his mouth with my hands. With wide eyes, I stare at him. What did he say? He likes me? Me? Csille Lauretré? The Villainess? 

I know I should be worried now since it's against the plot, but my heart couldn't stop beating so fast. It's as if I just finished a marathon. 

"Yo-you l-like m-me?" I ask him with a trembling voice. I still couldn't believe my ears what I just heard from him. 

He really likes me? Is that for real? 

I hear Prince Fraser muffled voice, and that's when I realized I am still covering his mouth. I instantly take it off from him.

Prince Fraser immediately holds my face between his hands. "Yes, I like you. Why do you sound like you couldn't believe it? Isn't that obvious? With all the things I have done and said to you, isn't that obvious that I like you? Have you forgotten what happened in the Illorian City?"

I frown. Illorian City? There's a lot of things that happened there. What is he referring to?

"When I ask you if you like me? Didn't I tell you that time that I am already chasing my happiness? That time I still couldn't name what I am feeling. Not that I'm denying my feelings for you, but it's more like I'm afraid I would use the word 'like', but I cannot prove that I really like you. I was so afraid that I will make you hope for something I cannot still give you. So, I come up with that because that time you are my happiness." Prince Fraser smile. "But now you are my life. So, please don't take my life away from me, Csille. I already see my future with you. I don't know how to live my life without you now."

I bite my lips to stop myself from crying. However, no matter how much I force myself not to cry, I could still feel tears starting to fall from my eyes. He really likes me. Prince Fraser really likes me, and that made me happy. I feel like I'm floating on cloud nine. 

Prince Fraser wipes the tears from my face. "Csille, why are you crying? Please, don't cry. I know we had a deal, and I still honor that. I just want to tell you how I feel because I couldn't keep it inside of me. I like you, and I'm proud of it. But I know I cannot tell people about it. So, I will compromise. Just promise me to let me explain things first before you push me away. It hurts me knowing that you're mad at me. I don't want you to be mad at me, Csille."

I look at him, and I cry harder. Prince Fraser hugs me and caresses my back. "Shh. Don't cry, please. I don't want to hear you cry. Is the reason you're crying is because of me?"

I shake my head and hug him back. I feel so happy. I've never been this happy in both of my lives in the real world or the fictional world. Only now, and I didn't expect I would feel about this with Prince Fraser. Should I be scared now? Because happiness is always accompanied by sadness. 

I smile bitterly. I'm happy now because Prince Fraser likes me, but I'm sure in the future I will cry my heart out when Prince Fraser falls in love with Princess Paislee.

But the one whom he likes is Csille, right? Maybe I can give myself a little time to enjoying all of these. Even just for now. I will let myself be happy.

I hug him tighter. "I like you, Fraser," I whispered.