With You

(No.315—No.319)

No.315

I remember the two days of the college entrance examination, there was heavy rain in the city.

During that time, there were a lot of moving news about free delivery of late candidates, and a lot of tragedies of being rejected from the exam room due to heavy rain. My classmates and I are not in the same test center, so I didn't meet any classmates in the exam.

I can't remember the exam that I used to fight for the past 19 years. The most impressive thing was that after the last test, I walked out with the crowds and saw a thin girl squatting at the door of a certain classroom crying, hugging the leg of an invigilator and said, she It takes another half a minute to finish the answer sheet. It only takes half a minute, please, or my life will be ruined.

It was a shy girl who cried so funny and unscrupulous in front of the crowd. Her glasses slipped down the bridge of her nose, and I still remember her eyes, clear, red, and hopeless.

She just squatted at the door and didn't go out. It seemed that the college entrance examination would not end, and she still had a chance to go back and remedy it.

"Please, otherwise my life will be ruined."

I couldn't stay longer, and the crowds drove me out.

Two consecutive days of heavy rain cleared up on the night after the college entrance examination. According to radio reports, many high school students are gathering together to celebrate tonight in major hotels, but I have never heard of such a thing in Zhenhua.

Tomorrow I can go to school to get the standard reference answer. Before the result is confirmed, who wants to carnival prematurely, leaving himself a ridiculous joy and sadness?

In the evening, I called Yu Huai and agreed to go to school at the same time tomorrow to get answers.

I said I was very nervous, ten thousand times more nervous than in the college entrance examination, and I was crying on the phone.

Because in my mind, the girl crying lingeringly, I found that when I recalled, my hands would tremble and my throat became very painful because of tension.

Yu Huai comforted me on the phone and said, "Don't be afraid, I will be brave next to you tomorrow. If you are not happy, pinch my arm and pinch to death."

I always remember that the tone of his speech to me at that time was more intimacy than usual, and a little bit presumptuous.

He asked me, "Is the check mark on your arm washed off?" I said, "No." Yu Huai smiled and said, "Neither do I."

He said: "That's right, there is still me."

I was suddenly not afraid.

I told myself that no matter how the college entrance examination is over, it won't ruin my life, because I didn't have much chance of getting good grades.

But as it ends, there are still some better people and things waiting for me, such as Yu Huai's tone. I may know what the omen is, but I don't want to think too deeply for fear of overdrawing the joy.

Although he didn't say anything yet.

I said I would wait.

No.316

The answer is from nine in the morning to three in the afternoon. The time that Yu Huai and I agreed was at half past nine. He said that all the items should be collected within half an hour. There is no need to queue at that time.

But my phone ran out of power and the alarm clock did not ring in the morning. It was already half past nine when Aunt Qi came to call me.

I quickly charged my phone and jumped out of bed to wash. My dad told me not to panic, have breakfast, and he will drive me to get answers.

Before he finished speaking, I rushed out the door with my schoolbag and mobile phone in my mouth.

I made several calls to Yu Huai on the road, trying to tell him that I would be late for a while, but he didn't answer the phone.

It was 10:15 when I rushed to the mail room. I took the answer, signed my name on the form, and saw that Yu Huai had already signed it, so I called him again.

Still no one answered.

I sat in the shade of the gym next to the late autumn highland and waited for a long time.

The tree we planted was alive and stubborn. I would often run to shake its trunk slightly during the final review stage before the college entrance examination, and found that it was firmly rooted, and there was nothing to worry about. that's nice.

The answer in his hand has been slow to open. The phone was not full, only a little electricity remained. I didn't dare to make random calls, for fear that he could not find me when he called back.

I finally sent a text message saying that I was in the late autumn highland.

The phone ran out of power as soon as it was sent.

I guess Yu Huai overslept, just like me; after another thought, he already had his signature on the roster.

But it's also possible that I didn't bring my mobile phone, so I couldn't find me. I think.

So I should not worry. He promised me to accompany me to check the answer together, and he will definitely come.

No.317

My **** was numb and dizzy from the sun, so I got up and went back to the teaching building to hide.

At the door of the mailing room, I saw Xu Yanliang holding the signature book of our class leader's answers for verification.

"Hey, Geng Geng," Xu Yanliang smiled at me, "You have already received it, right? Well, let me take a look, then there are still three people who have not got the answer."

"Have you seen Yu Huai?"

"He has already left," Xu Yanliang said. "He received the answer at nine o'clock. We got the answer together. He watched it quickly. After reading it, he left without saying anything."

"Out of school?"

"Of course, I watched him take a taxi," Xu Yanliang was surprised, "What's wrong?"

Nothing, I shook my head.

No.318

I really can't remember the events of those days.

There is nothing to fear about the answer. I sat at home and quickly figured out the total score range, which was unexpectedly good. My dad didn’t believe it. He had to take the answer I made myself to school and ask Zhang Ping to evaluate it for me. He also took the English and Chinese essays I wrote down silently to the city teachers and researchers he knew. Estimate points.

The result is still good, and it is several tenths higher than last year's key undergraduate course.

My parents have been thinking about it for a long time. I don’t know how much they have broken their minds when it comes to applying for a volunteer. There have been countless enrollment meetings. My dad has used all the knowledge of game theory that he still remembers in his head. I just sat at home indifferently.

They asked me where I wanted to go, and I said it would do.

As long as it is Beijing.

No one knows Yu Huai's situation. I have asked Zhu Yao and Xu Yanliang. No one has ever heard of it.

On the day when I handed in the volunteer form, I walked into Zhang Ping’s office and handed it to him with a few other classmates, and then stood in the corner of the office waiting for the twittering parents and classmates to come by. Disperse in waves.

His busyness finally came to an end, he rationalized and rationalized his volunteers, and only saw me when he went out.

"Geng Geng, why didn't you leave?"

"Mr. Zhang," I tried not to appear too emotional, "I want to ask, do you know where Yu Huai has gone?"

Zhang Ping lowered his eyes.

"Yu Huai repeats it." He said.

Even if I guessed it, when I really heard this sentence, I still felt like a hammer hit my heart, hurting.

I took a deep breath and tried to keep my voice from shaking: "Where is he?"

Zhang Ping sighed: "He is no longer in Zhenhua. Yu Huai is also a high-scoring repeater. His grades must be no good at Tsinghua University. He doesn't want to report to other schools, so the experimental middle school in our neighboring city has paid him a lot of money. As you know, the experimental middle school likes to spend money to dig Zhenhua’s high-scoring repeaters. In order to help their school break into the Qing and North places, maybe they can get a champion. Yu Huai is good to go there. Choose, the repetition class is completely closed on campus, he may have already moved in."

I said: "I see, thank you teacher."

Zhang Ping nodded and looked at me with some worry.

He said: "Gorgeous, don't be sad."

What do you know, let me not be sad!

I did not shed a tear, but to this day, I can still remember the look in Zhang Ping's eyes when I close my eyes.

To be precise, it was the look he couldn't bear to look at me.

No.319

I endured without crying. I was already dressed so smart, and I was sitting on the side of Gulou Street and wiped my tears. It is estimated that within five minutes, a street singer would come over and sing "Beijing, Beijing" for me.

So I didn't cry. I just laughed at myself.

When I was in Tibet, why didn't I tell Lao Fan about the ending?

Maybe it's because I feel ashamed.

I wrote a letter to Yu Huai, but because I didn’t know the specific class number, all the recipients wrote "Experimental middle school repetition class Yu Huai received"; and those long encouraging text messages typed word by word at midnight, Those inspiring stories about the chicken soup for the soul that I later hated and hated, but carefully collected and copied to him at the time, those phone calls that were dropped... In the end, they all had the same ending.

The "landline" number later didn't know if it could not bear the harassment, so it simply shut down.

What a shame, grim.

Of course, a person will not really disappear. I finally heard some news about him. Yu Huai passed the third place in the province in the second college entrance examination. He entered Tsinghua University as he wished. He completed all the credits in three years. He graduated the same year as us and went to the United States to study Ph.D. with Lin Yang and Yu Zhouzhou. He studied in the same state and walked smoothly on the broad road of Zhenhua’s top science students.

As long as he is not dead, he will not really disappear. If I really want to find him, it is actually not difficult.

But I didn't, just as he did not come to me during the three years when we were studying together in Beijing.

I used to weave fantasy for myself, but Yu Huai suffered a major setback that year and refused to care about anyone, including me. But what happened later? He is not dead again.

I gradually understood that maybe Yu Huai never thought about telling me anything, everything was an illusion of mine.

After people grow up, they are much freer than they were in high school. Without the siege of the classroom, they can escape wherever they want. Many sad hurdles, just go around.

The only thing I can't get around is Yu Huai.

My heart seemed to be blocked by something, and I couldn't remove it for seven years.

It is impossible for me to tell Lao Fan about such an ending.

He would laugh and say, "Your first love ended up with a boy repeating it? How old are you now? Twenty-six? How big is it? I thought he had leukemia or died in a car accident. He might I have a girlfriend for a long time and even got married in the United States. At the age of twenty-six, I still have a grudge about the college entrance examination and a boy seven years ago. Is it interesting to you?"

Yeah, what is there to worry about.

What is there to worry about.

The original meaning of these four words is like this, and I thought it was a kind of fate back then.

The tree that I planted by myself that year finally grew in my own heart with a sorrow.