With You

(No.320—No.326)

No.320

I left the depression in my heart to Beijing, and when I left, I didn't even feel a little melancholy.

I once joked that my parents were unreliable, married and had children, and divorced. In fact, they promised more than us.

They helped me study the college entrance examination volunteers, and all schools were selected in Beijing because I just said "I want to go to Beijing".

But the other way around? β said that everyone was going to gather in Beijing, but my parents were stuffed to go to the UK; I said that I wanted to be in the same place as Yu Huai, but we became dead in each other's lives.

If all children in the world told their parents the truth, it would hurt many adults.

No.321

Another year passed in a hurry, and it was summer again in a blink of an eye.

The photo business is going well. I rented a large loft, the downstairs was used as a warehouse, and the upstairs lived by myself. On average, there are six to seven business deals per month. There are wedding photos and personal photography. I can’t be too busy alone, so I hired two photography assistants, a makeup artist, and a customer service. Compared with the big studio, the shooting price of my studio is not high, but the cost is low, so overall the profit is good.

I used the dividends I gave to myself at the end of the year and bought a small Polo with an installment loan. I rubbed a Land Rover on the first day on the road.

My dad forbids me to drive anymore. He thinks it is for my safety, but I think, how can he be so narrow-minded, he must be for the safety of the whole society.

When I was in college, my mother got married, and the other party was six years younger than him. If it wasn't for that uncle who was quite rich, I would have thought my mother had been spotted by Xiaobaiface. She was transferred to a branch in a prefecture-level city next to our provincial capital, and she was promoted to be deputy president. She was very busy. I have not seen her for three months.

I don't want to see her either.

She and my dad became obsessed with WeChat after stealing food from Qzone. When I played the school intranet in my university, I didn’t look down on those naming games and soul chicken soup stories. My parents like older netizens like it very much. This behavior of frantically swiping the screen in the circle of friends makes me quite disgusted. They had to be blocked. My parents found that I no longer liked and responded to the things they reposted, so they started to harass me with short messages.

"Geng Geng, go and see the one that Dad transferred. It makes sense. You young people should look at it more."

"Geng Geng, my mother has transferred a piece of knowledge about Chinese medicine health preservation. Go and see. Don't always turn the day and night upside down."

I can’t remember, where my parents went, and now they are no different from the old man and old lady dancing in the square, but in my heart, it seems that they were still in the last second. Young people, say one thing, be vigorous and vigorous, never ask my opinion, let alone send me such text messages.

This change seems to be instantaneous.

Did I grow up or did they grow old?

No.322

I held the soup that Aunt Qi had filled with a locker bowl, and came out of my dad's building, and got on the bus bound for the No. 1 Hospital of the city.

After Lin Fan attended a high school reunion two weeks ago, he went to play football together, broke his collarbone, and had just finished the operation with two steel nails inside. I have to go to the hospital to replace my dad who has been with him all day. Anyway, my job is to squat at home and I can sleep during the day, so I often come to watch the night.

Although the lunch box is tightly buckled, I still check it nervously every time I brake suddenly. The route of this bus is very winding, and it is almost driving itself as a tourist bus, living very well.

When I passed Zhenhua, I deliberately looked down at the lunch box in the bag. Unexpectedly, the red light was extraordinarily long, and Zhenhua outside the window seemed to have eyes. I could feel it watching me with a smile.

But I still didn't look up. The studio was open for a whole year, and I never went back to school.

A young couple sitting in front of me has been talking about the end of the world at the end of the year. The young man said that the Mayan calendar only counts until December 21, 2012 because the slate can’t be written. Giggle, especially for her boyfriend.

I listened behind, not knowing why a thought came to my mind.

On the day of the end of the world, it happened to be my twenty-sixth birthday.

It was winter anyway. In such a pessimistic winter season, it does not matter if it is destroyed.

But not in summer.

Classmate Geng Geng said a long time ago that if the world is truly doomsday, it must not happen in summer.

The memory of this sentence floats among the shaking street lights and twisted neon lights, dragged away by the speeding cars on the street, and then floats back.

At that time, I should be drunk.

No.323

In the corridors of the hospital, there was still the smell of disinfectant that made my legs soft. Although I was a sick child since I was a child, I have never been in a hospital, and most of my family members are healthy, so my impression of the hospital stays in a beautiful TV series. Neat and solemn, decorated like heaven. The doctors and nurses who go to and from are all dressed in neat and crisp white uniforms. The windows in the ward are bright and clean, and the white gauze curtains will drift with the wind. The patient lies alone in the single room with loose hospital gowns. It’s broken and stylish, with a big table beside the bed, and undefeated flowers in the vase...

It is a pity that Lin Fan does not live in such a high-class ward. There are six beds in a large open room, and it is very noisy. The family members go in and out to chat and chat, and the hot water bottle can make a lot of noise. There are no flowers in the ward, but it is often filled. With the smell of leek zygote, every table is full of debris; the purplish-faced uncle in a hospital gown with his chest open and his arms open, sitting on the edge of the bed with slippers snoring and eating watermelon.

Every time I enter the ward, I will be the first two adults.

"Hurry up and leave the hospital, I can't stand it anymore." I said to Lin Fan when I entered the door.

He was able to sit up and play iPad games, and he didn't lift his eyelids when he saw me coming in.

My dad came in with a thermos from the door, and I turned around and urged him to go home and rest quickly.

"I'm always watching the night, haven't you delayed your business recently?" My dad asked.

Both he and my mother are like this. They seem to have a bad memory, and the things they ask every day are always "recent" and "recent".

"Very delayed," I glanced at Lin Fan, who was still playing games, "Hey, what about you, can't you get up and sing "Grateful Heart" to me?"

Lin Fan snorted, "You haven't had any business in other places recently, so what's the delay?"

"Why not on a business trip?" My dad poured himself a glass of water and asked with a smile, "No business?"

I am speechless.

"Why do you keep looking forward to the closure of our company all day long."

I know he cares about me, but every time he asks a question, it makes me angry.

"The recent clients are all from our city, so we don't need to go to other places to shoot." I explained.

Lin Fan was sitting on the bed drinking soup, my dad insisted on pulling me out.

"What's getting better in the hospital," I sat on the bench downstairs with him, "germs are everywhere."

"Your boss is not young, and you are also considering practical issues." He went straight to the subject.

"for example?"

My dad sighed and looked very uncomfortable.

"Look at Lin Fan, both girlfriends have had two." He seems to think that this is the most euphemistic way to say this.

Lin Fan, can I compare with him?

No.324

A few nights ago, I was half asleep by the bed, and vaguely heard him quietly facetime (video chat) with his girlfriend, remotely guiding his girlfriend to repair the computer. The girl didn't know whether she was pretending to be stupid or really stupid. Lin Fan had to teach him a little bit of simple operation, and the two of them were tired and crooked for half an hour.

"How can you do everything," the girl whispered softly, "is there anything in this world that you don't know?"

"Yes," Lin Fan's voice was high and gentle, "I will not leave you."

I was completely petrified on the side.

Love is such a thing, it is so disgusting and touching for bystanders who can't be in it. Seeing that I was distracted again, my dad knocked on my hand. I quickly concentrated. "Do you have something on your mind?" My dad lowered his voice. "Your mother told me that she was worried. We are all afraid that you are afraid of marriage because of us. If you really have these ideas, Don't hide it in your heart, talk to Mom and Dad...I think things are getting more and more out of control. "Dad! "I interrupted him, "Don't make trouble." I'm fine. I believe in love especially, especially yearning for marriage. I'm just too busy. Besides, I haven't met any suitable people. This kind of thing depends on fate, you know, don't make assumptions. "You talk about you, when you shouldn't have other thoughts, it's quite clever, and when you get older, you won't be anxious. Young people of your generation are just fooling around, doing everything the other way. "Dad, what are you talking about, why don't I understand?" "I said that when you were in high school, you still knew that you liked individuals. Why are you staying at home every day without going out to get in touch with peers..." My head buzzed: "What did you say? "Isn't your high school interesting to be at your table?" What is the kid's name? Do you think I can't see it? When I was having dinner with him, you looked at you, then called someone to protect him, walk with him and I found out and pretended to just meet him, you are your dad stupid? ..." I raised my head, the sun was nowhere to be seen, but the sky was still dark, and the ice cream-like sky was rendered layer by layer, making it difficult to tell what color was on top of my head. My dad was in the hospital where people came and went. When I mentioned a distant boy at the gate, the turbulent emotions in my heart broke through the chaotic environment, like a basin of ice poured into a fire boiler, I don't know who subdued whom.

No.325

After my dad left, I went to buy a can of Coke and sat on the bench for a while.

It's not that I haven't been in love, but they don't know.

At the end of the sophomore year, I don't know if I waited until Yu Huai and others were desperate, and I suddenly agreed to a senior who was chasing me to associate with him. At that time, I just joined the roller skating club, and after the final exams, I went to sing KTV at night and then slid back to school in roller skates. They don't say "slip", they say "swipe", they also say that this is really "swipe the night".

In the quiet night, everyone laughed while sliding on the wide road. I didn't skate well. I didn't even learn to turn and brake sharply. I just drifted straight forward. I was scared even if there was no car on the road. The senior came over to hold my hand and wanted to take me to slide. When he caught my hand, he was shocked by the cold sweat on the palm of my hand. He smiled and said, "I'm freezing to death. Let's not take it as an example."

Just when I was in despair, someone took my hand and passed through the orange halo cast by street lamps one after another, saying what Yu Huai had said to me.

A word I said when I instinctively grabbed him with cold hands when facing the handed-out test paper.

I followed the senior through the night before dawn, and suddenly felt that he was also very good.

Isn't it just three years of company with Yu Huai? Give me another three years, and give me company again, why can't a memory cover the last?

But this memory only lasted a week. When the senior came to kiss me downstairs in the dormitory, I pushed him away. I don't understand why myself.

Then there is no more after.

I drank a can of Coke, threw it into the trash can, stood up and stretched. After all, I don’t understand why some people can sleep with strangers at a suitable age for marriage. Wouldn't it be nauseous when the breath of a stranger overturned? Are you afraid? Don't you feel unwilling?

Perhaps one day I will compromise and give up these hypocritical thoughts.

But I don't look forward to that day.

No.326

At two o'clock in the morning, Lin Fan finally finished the bottle of today. I helped him go to the toilet, helped him wash his face and brush his teeth, and then he could go home to sleep after he fell asleep.

The hospital at this time was still a bit scary. The lights in the corridor on the fifth floor were all turned off. From time to time, patients would go to the toilet holding the infusion bottle by themselves. The pace was shifted and the face was expressionless. I would have mistakenly entered the set of "The Walking Dead".

Lin Fan couldn't help laughing when he saw that I was afraid of being like that, and his smile touched the wound on his chest, grinning with pain.

I waited for him at the door of the toilet. When I turned around, I saw a thin old woman with sunken cheeks waiting for me viciously at the door of the women’s toilet. Outside the corridor window was the red cross sign of the outpatient department. The red light at night hit her. On his face, his eyes are even more pitch-black like a bottomless hole.

I was so scared that my heart was about to jump out. At this time, people couldn't scream at all. I just felt a "boom" in my ears. As soon as my legs were soft, I slowly slid against the wall and sat on the ground.

Her gaze chased me, slowly sliding from a vicious look up to a cold looking down.

Someone ran from not far away, and the sound of footsteps echoed in the empty corridor. The man tried to pick me up, and a gentle smile sounded in his ears.

"Girl, are you okay? This old woman is in our ward, she just likes murderous people, don't be afraid."

This sound almost paused my entire world.

I remember that the last time I heard this voice was on the phone, telling me, who was afraid of answering the college entrance examination, don’t be afraid.

I slowly turned my head away.

I don’t know if it’s because of the light. I can’t see the traces of the years, or the hairy inch, the wheaten face, or even the black T-shirt. After so many years, why don’t you change one.

He didn't recognize me at first, facing my surging eyes, his expression was confused for a few seconds.

Then his eyes froze, dumbfounded.

"Geng Geng," he said.