You've Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale

Chapter 19 — It Always Backfires When The General Tries to Fuck A Certain Someone Over

Edited by: DancingDolphinsYo

The south of the city was split into two areas. The upper area was where the whorehouses congregated, and the lower area was for places of entertainment, with abundant teahouses and restaurants.

At this timing, all the shops in the lower area had closed. The streets were cold and quiet all around, but this was the time when the upper area was bustling.

As there were many people gathered around the area, hawkers were plenty. Stores selling noodles and porridge were all open for customers. Across the street, there were fragrant whorehouses with pleasant music drifting from them. Handsome pages and pretty ladies were all smiling and laughing gaily at the doors welcoming customers in. It felt as though even the night breeze was filled with the scent of cosmetics, as well as the laughter and cheers of the ladies.

With an arm around Wu Xingzi’s waist, Guan Shanjin strolled about casually. Even though he was only wearing a simple black robe, the quality and price of the flowing material used was evident to everyone.

Despite looking so, none of the pages nor the ladies dared to call out to him, and all obediently avoided him.

Wu Xingzi however did not notice such small matters. All he could see were the rows of stores selling noodles, porridge and snacks. Wriggling his nose slightly, he sniffed at the aroma of the food in the air.

“What would you like to eat?” Guan Shanjin brought Wu Xingzi to take a look at every stall, his lack of interest could vaguely be felt.

He had already eaten at House of Taotie. Although the food was light tasting, every dish was exquisite. The skills used in preparing the food was flawless and it was perfect.

The flavours naturally were incomparable, it definitely lived up to Su Yang’s reputation for indulging in creature comforts.

Needless to say, the sort of crude food he was looking at now could not rouse his interest. However, looking at how Wu Xingzi was so happy, the slight unhappiness he felt originally faded away without a reason.

“What would you like to eat?” Wu Xingzi had looked at every stall. Every single one of them had something to attract him. After all, these were stalls that were open across whorehouses, the food they sold were finer and more delicious than other stalls. Especially that stall selling dumplings, every shrimp dumpling looked fat and scrumptious, almost the size of a baby’s fist. The skin was almost half-translucent, and the fresh, juicy shrimp together with the chopped cabbage and some chives looked bright and lovely. Wu Xingzi’s mouth was about to overflow with drool.

“What about dumplings?” Guan Shanjin naturally paid attention to Wu Xingzi’s every move. He noticed that he had taken a couple more glances at the dumpling stall, and it was clear what occupied his mind.

Feeling happy, Wu Xingzi nodded his head continuously. He took the lead and tugged Guan Shanjin to the dumpling stall.

“Boss, a bowl of dumpling noodles. What about you?”

“I’m still full, just order for yourself.” Guan Shanjin patted the back of Wu Xingzi’s hand, then found a table and pulled him there.

The boss selling the dumplings was a sturdy man of about age fifty. He acknowledged his order loudly, then deftly started preparing the noodles. Quickly, a steaming bowl of dumpling noodles was ready, and in it were about seven or eight big dumplings, floating about in the soup made from seafood stock.

This bowl of noodles made Wu Xingzi’s face bright with happiness. The way he looked when he was enjoying the food made Guan Shanjin feel hungry out of nowhere, and he too, ordered a bowl of dumpling soup for himself.

With six or seven big dumplings in the bowl, Guan Shanjin of course could not finish it. He transferred three of them into Wu Xingzi’s bowl and the eyes of this old fellow shone immediately. A face full of gratitude, he thanked him profusely, as though what he gave him were not three dumplings but three gold ingots.

It had to be said that this dumpling was really delicious. The skin was thin and the filling was plenty, with top quality ingredients and skillfully made. Every bite burst with flavour.

The soup made of seafood stock was mouthwatering as well, tasting even better than the mushroom stewed chicken from House of Taotie.

They enjoyed themselves greatly with this supper. Rubbing his bulging stomach, Wu Xingzi looked satisfied, his cheeks dyed a pleasant red.

To digest their food, the two people strolled about in each other’s arms, exploring the nightlife of Goose City. Although Wu Xingzi did not know where Guan Shanjin was bringing him to, throughout this month, he was used to being taken care of by him and so let him lead the way.

This way turned out to be pretty long. They walked from the south of the city to the north.

The north of the city was mostly residential areas, divided into eight squares. Qingyang Square was where the rich people of Goose City lived, and every mansion took up a large plot of land. The long wall fences felt as though they would never end.

This was the first time Wu Xingzi had come here.

Unlike other squares, the doors to Qingyang Square would close after 11pm and only open at 5am. To enter or exit the square between these timings, a waist tag issued by the magistrate’s office was required. Other that owners of mansions in Qingyang Square, no one else would be able to get these tags.

When they reached Qingyang Square, it was already past 11pm. A little tired, Wu Xingzi was yawning. Not noticing anything strange as he watched Guan Shanjin retrieve a waist tag and showing it to the guards, he wondered, how luxurious are the inns in Qingyang Square?

Only until they walked to the door of a mansion did Wu Xingzi realise the truth. Astonished, he asked, “You have a property in Goose City?”

Guan Shanjin smiled and did not reply. He had just bought this mansion a couple of months ago, and he had left it for his four guards to manage. Till then, he had barely stayed in it.

Thinking about it, it was not surprising. Previously he was with the accountant in Sushui Village, and so naturally stayed in Sushui Village. As for this month, he was with Wu Xingzi, and so naturally stayed in the little wooden house of Adviser Wu.

Without having to knock, the side door opened, revealing a deathly solemn face. Wu Xingzi hunched into himself and shivered, hiding behind Guan Shanjin.

“General.” The man greeted him respectfully.

“Mn.” Guan Shanjin waved him off indifferently. Catching hold of Wu Xingzi’s hand, he walked through the side door.

The mansion was not considered very big, but it gave off an overall spacious feeling. The furnishings were simple, and there was not any overly lavish decorations. Wu Xingzi soon calmed down and secretly observed this big mansion.

Guan Shanjin allowed him to look around, following behind him as he spoke quietly with the guard. After a short exchange, his brows knitted, his attitude turning cold and stern. Unhappily, he murmured, “You say that Mr Lu has already decided on the day of betrothal gifts with the head of the Yue family?”

“Yes…. General, shouldn’t it be time for us to return to Bastion City?” The guard was only asking casually. He shared the same opinion as Vice General Man, feeling that it was rare to see the general showering someone other than Mr Lu with his attentions. Whether it was sincere or just a sham, the more time they spent together, the more difficult it would be to predict what would happen in the future. It would be best if they could take this opportunity to clarify the General’s relationship with Mr Lu.

This question was rather loud and the adviser heard it too. His steps faltered, blinking at the unhappy looking Guan Shanjin, as well as the guard whose head was lowered and expression was unclear.

“You’re… returning to Bastion City?” Wu Xingzi had asked this question without thinking and could not control the quirking up of his mouth.

He could go and collect The Pengornisseur? That was great news!

“You’re so happy about me leaving?” Guan Shanjin’s lips curled coldly.

“Uhh…” It had to be said that he was, of course, happy. He had gotten used to living with Guan Shanjin, that he could see a beauty everyday, eat the food the beauty cooked, and play with the beauty’s pengornis, but…

“Hmm?” This questioning sound was very affectionate, but it caused shivers to go down his spine and his hair stood on end.

Having somewhat of a grasp on Guan Shanjin’s temper, Wu Xingzi shook his head forcefully and placatingly spoke, “How could I be happy? Once you leave, I won’t have any more pengornis to play with.” Oh no, I’m dead.

Guan Shanjin’s expression could not be described in a few words.

His brows creased tightly, and his mouth looked stiff. The cold look in his eyes was like a blizzard in winter, and it seemed as though he wanted to say something, only to have nothing to say in the end.

Wu Xingzi knew that he had said the wrong thing. He obediently lowered his head, not even daring to exhale loudly.

“You…” Guan Shanjin finally opened his mouth. “After living together for a month, in your eyes, my pengornis is the only thing you’ll miss?”

These words were too acerbic, but in the ears of others, they were hilarious. At least, the guard next to them could not help but burst out laughing.

“General, I was wrong. I’ll go and punish myself.” Self-aware, the guard bowed his head and admitted his wrong, but the amusement in his tone could not be concealed.

“Go.” What else could he say? If this had happened to someone else, Guan Shanjin was afraid he would’ve been laughing even harder.

He had stayed with Wu Xingzi for a month and showered him with all his care, even his own parents had never enjoyed such meticulous and considerate treatment from him. However, this old thing usually looked so foolish and pure, yet he was actually someone so hard-hearted.

If Wu Xingzi could hear his internal monologue, he would’ve definitely cry out in grievance for himself — only if he had the courage to do so.

Wu Xingzi was deeply moved by Guan Shanjin’s care for him. Having lived all these years, no one else had treated him like this before.

Even when his parents were around, they had not been as meticulous as Guan Shanjin.

Still, Wu Xingzi was very clear that Guan Shanjin and him could not be together forever. Ignoring their age difference, the difference in their family backgrounds was enough to be a statement. In the Great Xia dynasty, no families whose members had official appointments, no matter how small, would accept a male as a wife. Furthermore, with Guan Shanjin’s strong family background, his wife definitely had to be someone who brought benefits to his family.

What did Wu Xingzi have? Two months ago, he still had a bucket stash worth ten silver ingots. Now, there were only nine and some additional coins.

No matter how frank and straightforward Wu Xingzi was, he understood that he could never mention any of this to Guan Shanjin. It was fine if Guan Shanjin did not care. However if General Guan cared even a little, he was afraid that to vindicate himself, he might do anything, and this would create a huge commotion.

When the guard walked away, Guan Shanjin gently asked again, “Why aren’t you replying? Did the cat get your tongue?” He was clearly a general and a northerner as well. Why was his voice always so soft, gentle and intoxicating?

Wu Xingzi’s ears flushed red and he stammered, “I, umm… There’s no other meaning, I just, just… don’t want to be a burden to your work…”

“A burden?” Guan Shanjin drawled out, repeating his words. Wu Xingzi’s limbs weakened and his face was deeply flushed.

“Yes, yes… Returning to Bastion City, you definitely must have something urgent to handle. I understand. Don’t worry, you can go back without any worries, there’s nothing to miss.” The first half of the sentence was just platitudes and only the second half was what he actually meant, could Guan Shanjin not have realised it? His breath was stuck in his chest and he was almost unable to take a breath. A pair of beautiful, charming eyes glared harshly at Wu Xingzi, causing him to look down, averting his gaze. Wu Xingzi’s face was blank and full of innocence.

“You don’t want me to stay?” Guan Shanjin gritted his teeth. He had always been the one neatly abandoning others, and this was the first time someone was eagerly chasing him away.

Thinking about their one month of interaction, Guan Shanjin was vexed to the point where his chest hurt. He even felt an indescribable intense unwillingness, as though ants were gnawing on his heart. How he wished he could swing his sword around and dispel his unhappiness!

“You can’t be staying in Qingcheng County forever, right?” Wu Xingzi was startled. Unless there was a change in the garrison, the soldiers could not leave their stations whenever they wanted to, could they?

Naturally, as the Great South Garrison General, Guan Shanjin had been away long enough. It was truly time for him to return.

However… “Haven’t you thought of going to Bastion City with me?”

“Why would I follow you to Bastion City?” Wu Xingzi was really astounded. He had long planned on living his entire life in Qingcheng County and Guan Shanjin had already knew about this!

“Having lived together this month, won’t you even miss me a little?” Although he had asked this question, Guan Shanjin had already known the answer. Wu Xingzi’s attitude had always been like this. He never begged nor wanted him to stay, and what he was infatuated with seemed to only be the physical interaction between the two of them. There absolutely was nothing else to be reluctant about.

Faced with this question, Wu Xingzi had a rare moment of hesitation.

It could not be said that he would not miss him at all. At least, towards Guan Shanjin’s pengornis he definitely would never forget it. As for Guan Shanjin’s care over the month, how could he be indifferent towards it? It was just… They all said that love was painful. He had not even started thinking about love, but his head really ached.

“But you will still have to return to Bastion City.” In the end, Wu Xingzi sighed and replied lightly. “Let’s part amicably, shall we?”

Guan Shanjin could not help but press his hand against his chest. His heart was pounding, knocking against his rib cage, almost causing him to vomit blood.

What the fuck!! This had always been what he said to those shadows of Mr Lu, how could this old fellow say these words to him?!

“Your, your complexion doesn’t look very good. What’s wrong?” Finally noticing that Guan Shanjin did not look good, Wu Xingzi was anxious. Leaning over, he patted him on his chest, comforting him, “Did you eat too much just now? You shouldn’t have had that bowl of dumpling soup, are you getting heartburn? Do you need a heart-cleansing pill?”

He might as well offer me a heart-relieving pill!

Guan Shanjin was vexed to the point where he could no longer hide it. Swatting Wu Xingzi’s hand away, he hoarsely said, “I’m getting heartburn, not because of that bowl of dumpling soup, but because of you, you foolish quail! You really want to get rid of me this much?”

“That’s not it…” Wu Xingzi guilelessly waved his hands. “But you do have to return to Bastion City, right? We can still keep in contact through the pigeon express. Later, when we go back, I’ll give you a mail pigeon for the magistrate’s office? Like this, we can even save money! Through the Peng Society, a letter would cost a coin and I even have to come to Goose City to collect the letter. What do you think about sending the letter straight to the magistrate’s office?”

“Up to you…” Other than this, Guan Shanjin really did not know what other response he could give. In his life, he had considered everything below his notice and had been puffed up with his own pride. Not to mention his parents, even the one on the dragon throne did not dare restrain him. This was the first time he had tripped himself up so badly and was helpless to do anything about it.

Of course, Wu Xingzi was only a physically weak old quail. Guan Shanjin only needed the strength of his two fingers and he could have pinched him to death. However, he was really too similar to Mr Lu, and no matter how frustrated Guan Shanjin got, he did not dare to do anything that would cause him harm.

He really was choking on his frustrations and was completely annoyed!

“You’re… still not happy?” Wu Xingzi was not blind. Guan Shanjin’s alluring eyes were bright, his face red, and the way he was gasping for air, he was definitely feeling differently from what he had just said.

He quietly leaned closer, tugging at Guan Shanjin’s sleeves. “If… if not… you can do whatever you want to me tonight?”

Guan Shanjin wanted to reject him instantly, but seeing how Wu Xingzi looked shy yet obliging, the flames of fury in him immediately turned into a desirous fire, lighting him up from within.

“You lewd darling…” Scolding him harshly, Guan Shanjin pulled him into his arms and lay a deep kiss onto him.