June is our farewell song

Chapter 238 Will or won't
The scientific name is "Ephemera", which is an ancient subclass of insects with a life span of about 24 hours.

In a short day, the life process of metamorphosis, growth, maturity, aging, and death is quickly completed, which is too fast for people to be prepared.Liu Feng stood on the street in the middle of the night in the urban area of ​​this city, looking at the colorful things in front of him, almost inexplicably, he thought of this kind of creature.

It was raining outside, very small, and the sound of rain could not be heard under the eaves, but the damp smell of rain could be felt.The passing subway brings or takes away a few scattered passers-by from time to time, most of them are in a hurry, with tired folds printed on the corners of their clothes or cuffs.Liu Feng was leaning against the pillar under the eaves with his bag in his hand, the bright light above his head made him drowsy.Only the homeless person lying on the bench not far away occasionally cast silent glances at him.

The time displayed on the screen of the mobile phone is 47:[-] midnight, and the battery bar has turned into a weak red color.Liu Feng flicked through the call records. He made a total of [-] calls today, but none of them were useful.To be precise, the phone calls during this time were useless.

I kept looking for reasons to evade my uneasy heart, but when I thought about it carefully, I had actually slowly accepted this fact.

When did it start?Liu Feng thought.I have become less hopeful, the moment I dialed out the phone, I no longer feel uneasy, and the excitement when I heard the other party's voice has disappeared.

Recalling the first month when I first found out about the situation, I was so eager to ask for help that I almost overflowed, and I didn’t feel sorry for making international calls for one or two hours a day, but gradually, after adapting to the repeated disappointment process, this Stock hopes began to cool and retreat.Doctors who spoke different languages, checked, diagnosed, and finally came to the same conclusion-these things piled up and emptied his hope little by little, and the call time with the doctor was gradually shortening, in fact, even if he didn’t call It doesn't matter.There is no need to ask more about the situation, everyone knows it well.

As of today, it has been four full months.But Qingsi's situation shows no signs of improvement, although she is very reluctant to admit that the vitality of her daughter has been decreasing with the passage of time, almost like a mayfly - Liu Feng found out with difficulty - his daughter's life is about to die.Liu Feng never did anything wrong, but he couldn't prevent the fire of life from being extinguished.

After standing downstairs in the hospital for nearly four or ten minutes, the lights on the street gradually went out at one o'clock in the morning. Liu Feng, who had never smoked in the past, guessed and extinguished the embers on the cigarette butt, then picked it up and threw it into the next door. in the trash.

Can't sleep all the time.

Lying on the bed, Liu Qingsi looked at the bright moon outside the window on her right, her slender and pale fingers gently stroked the lines of the envelope in her hand, and lightly bit her bloodless lips.

She picked up a book on the bedside table. On the cover, a car was driving on the road in the mountains. The mountains around the car were dyed a thick dark blue by the night, showing a sense of loneliness that is closely related. The only light is Two headlights.The road was dark and silent in the middle of the night, and the car was moving forward steadily, with strangely shaped railings on both sides, and a dark abyss beyond the railings.

She turned her head and looked out of the window, the few bright new stars in the night sky were hanging on the zenith, as if trying to lure her into the sky.But the night sky of the city was stained dirty by lights that gathered and scattered from all directions, but a round of creamy-white full moon hung fearlessly and alone in the sky, smudged the surrounding clouds a little brilliantly.

There was the sound of the doorknob being turned in my ears, and the door of the ward was gently pushed open a crack, and light leaked in sporadically, and only a dim night light was turned on in the room, so the pale light in the corridor even Even a handful of them slipped in and it looked very eye-catching, forcibly cutting the entire shadow on the floor into fragments.

Qing Si squinted her eyes and looked through the crack of the door, and saw her mother's figure. Her black and yellowish hair was tied on her right shoulder and tied casually with a hair tie. When she saw her awake, her mother Standing in place with a little panic, the sunken eye sockets seemed to be awakened, no longer the muddy gray, and the crow's feet at the corners of the eyes also stood out at that moment.

Qing Si was in a daze for a moment, the mother in her memory didn't seem to be like this, the superwoman with explosive mobility seemed to have suddenly lost the ability to fight against time, and the carving knife named "Years" was on full display Its ruthlessness and indifference.

"mom--"

The girl's gray lips were slightly opened, and the mother smiled with relief, her crow's feet were slightly upturned, just like the corners of the girl's mouth.

"Why did you wake up?"

The mother closed the door, walked to the girl's bed by the dim light of the night light, sat down, and asked softly.

"Not asleep."

Qing Si shook her head and sat still.His chest started to hurt a little again, so he bit his lower lip lightly.Mother opened the drawer of the bedside cabinet and handed it to her painkillers and water, but she just pushed it away gently.

"It'll be fine in a while." Qing Si lowered her eyes, and she almost shed tears as she spoke, "I planned to organize an event today...but it turned out that I, the organizer, missed the appointment. Mom...I really regret it. I don't want...don't want to leave..."

The mother stretched out her arms comfortingly and took her daughter into her arms.Over the past few months, Qingsi has lost a lot of weight, and the one-size-fits-all striped T-shirt she wears can almost hold two of her present.

"It's okay, I believe they will understand you, even if...you don't tell them the real reason."

Ke Qingsi just shook her head, her voice becoming choked up.

"I'm afraid they hate me..."

Mother couldn't help but hug her tighter.

"Want to eat something? I haven't eaten anything since this afternoon."

"I do not want to eat."

"Then go to bed early, get up tomorrow morning and we will go to the noodle shop you like, and then...do you still want to go back? School, if you don't go back, I will tell the doctor here now."

There is a very popular pasta shop next to this hospital, which was Qingsi's favorite one before the problem was detected. The word "favorable" is also based on "good food", "reasonable price" and "ample portions".The owner is a foreigner with a wonderful accent, so although he keeps talking, most of the time no one can understand what he is talking about, but this does not affect his enthusiasm for making food.

Qing Si's favorite is his seafood noodles, but it may be because she only ordered seafood noodles from the first time to the last time - if she ordered beef noodles or something else, she would probably like it too , Qingsi is convinced of this, but it's a pity that this store doesn't make pineapple buns, otherwise the "preference" for it will rise to "beloved".

The delicacy of one type of noodles is enough to convince others that other types must be equally attractive, so it can be reversed to understand the appeal of seafood noodles.The preference for seafood noodles makes me involuntarily choose similar tastes even if I eat instant noodles in school.

“Fresh Shrimp and Fish Noodles.”

The scene of Gu Yuan sitting in the activity room and mispronouncing "Fresh Shrimp and Fish Pan Mee" couldn't help appearing in his mind.

The corner of her mouth curved slightly, but Qingsi shook her head.

"That store... I'd better not go."

"Didn't you say you like it? Why don't you want to go?" Mother asked.

"I like it very much...but he gave too much weight."

"too much?"

"Yeah, I could barely finish it before, but now I'm sure I can't finish it. It's the smallest portion, but when the bowl was served, it seemed to say, 'Huh? What does the smallest mean, I don't understand. ~', the generosity is too much, will this business really not lose money?"

"But this can't be a reason for not wanting to go, right? The weight is too much?"

"I don't hate it, let's just say, I like that store very much. But it's because I like it, so... I don't want to go there again."

"Why?" Mother didn't quite understand.

"Because I can't finish it, when the boss clears the table and sees the noodles left in the bowl, he will think, 'Oh, I can't finish the smallest portion, it must be because the noodles taste bad, it's hard to eat', and I'm in a bad mood. It will be affected, and if your mood is affected, you will be distracted. If you are distracted, the remaining noodles will taste bad. If the noodles taste bad, there will be fewer customers, and then a vicious circle. It might close down."

"You think too much, it's not that serious." The mother laughed and hugged her daughter tighter.

"It's that serious."

"Then let me pack it for you, so that the boss won't find out that we didn't finish the noodles."

"Huh?" Qing Si tilted her head and thought for a while, "It seems possible."

"Then, this time it's still seafood noodles?" Mother asked with a smile.

"Well... let's change it. This time, I want to eat beef noodles." Qing Si hugged the pineapple pillow on the hospital bed, and bent her eyes to show an expectant look.

Holding her, the mother remembered that Qingsi's teacher once complained to her that her daughter was too indifferent.Indeed, most of the time, Qingsi appears alienated, as if she is born with a sense of distance from others—for people who are not familiar with her, they often feel that she is gentle and kind when they meet for the first time, but they will immediately feel this This tenderness and kindness is more like an invisible barrier, which is obvious because she is indifferent to most things.

But she understands that Qing Si is actually sensitive and soft in nature, and in some respects she has stubborn kindness and sincerity, but these qualities will only be revealed to few people.It seems that there are many people who want to know her and approach her, but very few people really know her - they don't even know if they have any.The complex association about the mood of the noodle shop owner is an example. Because of the fear of possible secondary harm after establishing a relationship, the possibility of establishing a relationship is simply given up.

Afraid of losing, so there is nothing left to ask for.

"Silly child." The mother sighed and hugged her tightly, "Don't think too much."

"Will I ever get better?"

……

……

……

"Will do."

(End of this chapter)