It's like I'm not reborn

Chapter 212
As for what to do after finding her, Shi Hai no longer remembers.

After all, it is too long a memory.

The memory before entering the dreamland is thousands of years ago in terms of time.

Bai Yue had already forgotten all about the strategy and other things that he had told him.

Shi Hai's answer moved her a little, and she asked again with complicated emotions.

"You don't hate me...? I trapped you in memory..."

"Not at all, it's better to say that I am quite grateful to you."

She was at a loss because she knew Shi Hai wasn't lying.

"……why?"

"Because in your dream, I have greatly satisfied my own thirst for knowledge. Sure enough, exploring is still interesting."

Shi Hai said with a hearty smile on his face.

"Leave all the messy things behind, and just think 'I want to see the end' in my heart, so I can go on."

Although Shi Hai's goal is to find her in front of him, it's not for her, nor for any feelings like love...

Maybe there was still emotion at the beginning, but after going to the end, the emotion has faded to almost nothing.

It was too late to turn back, and besides, I didn't know how to go back, so I just continued to walk and have a look.

It's better than 'doing nothing'.

It was with this casual attitude and natural curiosity that Shi Hai persisted until he reached the finish line.

And this kind of mentality was incomprehensible to her, and could only be classified as a lunatic like Bai Yue.

"Sure enough...you, like her...are born lunatics..."

Shi Hai sat cross-legged.

"So, what are you going to do next?"

"...Didn't you come to take me out?"

"Even if I want to, I don't know how to get out. This is your dreamland."

"..."

That's right, this is her dreamland, as long as she wants, she can go out from here at any time.

So the truth is, she wasn't trapped in the memory at all, but voluntarily stayed in the deepest part of the memory.

"Or, do you want me to be overbearing and drag you out directly?"

"Didn't you come to make me your woman..."

"Are you sure? Then I will start."

Seeing that Shi Hai really pushed her down, she panicked instead.

"……wait……!"

Then I saw Shi Hai smirking at himself.

"It turns out that your body is an innocent virgin."

She was a little annoyed, and kicked towards Shi Hai in shame and indignation.

"...I'm a virgin, can't I!"

"No, I think it's good to be innocent."

"Go to hell!"

Shi Hai used his hand to catch the little foot she kicked over and said.

"Isn't this quite energetic?"

"……Humph!"

After Shi Hai put down her feet, he raised his hands and said.

"Don't worry, I won't do anything to you. Once I find you, my goal will be accomplished."

"..."

She was a little disappointed.

Because she knew that it was 'Bai Yue' who sent Shi Hai in, and only she could do this kind of thing.

And the reason why Shi Hai was sent in may be to give her a chance to make up for her regrets.

She was also looking forward to what would happen between them after being found by Shi Hai...

That's why at the end of memory, a fictional world is created where no one is reborn.

It doesn't need to be so dramatic or romantic, as long as you can spend an ordinary and happy life with him like everyone else...

As long as I have 'such a memory', maybe I can gain the courage to stand beside him, and then I can join them.

but……

Shi Hai did not give her such a chance.

Grabbing her who was empty in her heart... made her extremely embarrassed.

"So, what are you going to do?"

Shi Hai asked the same question again.

How to do?
She frowned and complained.

"Isn't what I'm going to do already blocked by you?"

But Shi Hai asked back as if he had seen through her thoughts.

"Is this really what you want to do?"

"Dang, of course!"

There was no way to answer immediately, because she was actually a little guilty.

That wasn't really what she thought.

It's just that the memories and feelings of the runaway are acting recklessly.

The real she can only stay in this small dark room and watch what is happening outside.

Then, after seeing those women with limbs mutilated and sickly distorted, they laughed at 'deserving it'...

And envy them from the bottom of my heart.

Because I don't even have feelings that can be purified...

"Through this journey, you should have seen that they don't need your 'assistance' at all, even without you to purify their feelings for them, they can still choose their own future... In other words, it's the same with or without you. "

"Well……!"

Was poked at the pain point.

She bit her lower lip.

That's right...that's what she cares about the most.

It's the same with or without her.

It should be said that without her making trouble, everything would go smoothly.

She just started new chaos.

So she also discovered that 'I am a superfluous person', 'it would be better if I didn't show up'.

This is the real reason for her autism.

Such indifference is more cruel than anger and hatred.

It doesn't matter to forgive, because you have nothing to do with me.

She lowered her head again and said in a self-defeating manner.

"Since that's the case, just leave me alone..."

"Hey, are you having a fight?"

After being told this, she was even more ashamed and angry, and shouted angrily.

"Don't you just want me to stop! Then why don't you just kill me! Anyway, as long as I disappear!"

"Well, indeed, this is the most efficient way."

"...!"

This man...!
She took a deep breath and gave Shi Hai a hard look.

She couldn't figure out how she fell in love with such an incomprehensible man...

Totally impossible!
"But Bai Yue doesn't want to kill you."

"Anyway, she only wants to spare my life because she robbed the man who should belong to me, so she seems to owe me something!"

"You're right, so what?"

"So what! Of course it is..."

"Do you feel you have been sympathized? Hurt your self-esteem?"

"...!"

Was hit again.

Her heart was full of grievance and resentment.

Obviously I am the original partner, but I was snatched away, and I still have to be sympathized with in the end?

Why!I don't need your sympathy!
"Isn't it a man? If I want it, I can get it myself!"

"Hey, you want me? Do you like me?"

Shi Hai responded to what she asked just now.

she exclaimed in exasperation.

"Do I have to like you!"

"of course not."

Shi Hai shook his head and said.

"No one stipulates that you have to like me."

"But in the original world line, I became your wife, and that is the correct history!"

"Correct history? Who is it based on?"

"Varied……?!"

"For the people in that world, that may indeed be the correct history, but is it necessarily good if it is correct? Not necessarily."

Rather, after he almost understood the deductive method of fate, Shi Hai felt that there was no such thing as a 'master world' at all.

It's just because the fate system can only run one world at a time, so among the countless branches, only one possibility will be selected and 'execute the program'.

If there are multiple fate systems, parallel worlds can actually exist.

The so-called "correct history" is actually "a world that operates without interfering with fate".

It's just that Shi Hai and Bai Yue created something like a rebirth device, which recalled the running program and entered new variables.

But so what if it gets messed up?
Is the changed world a wrong world, a world that should not exist?
You can't say that, after all, it's all deduced by the deductive method of fate.

So Shi Hai didn't have the idea of ​​"what the world should be like", and he wasn't so arrogant that he could influence the whole world by himself.

There is no need for a high-level reason, it is enough for everyone to make a choice according to their own heart.

"For example, Sichun and the others must hope that the world before their rebirth is correct. The same is true for other reborns. If there is no problem, they don't want to be reborn at all... It's just because there is no other way, so they choose to live with everyone."

"It's just a compromise!"

"That's what they chose themselves, and it's better than doing nothing."

"You want to say, I'm not as good as them?"

"There's no comparison because you're not 'chosen yet'."

Shi Hai looked at her lightly and said.

"Other people's memory cannot be the reason to determine your life."

"..."

"You don't have to be like everyone else."

"..."

"you are free."

Shi Hai has said everything he wanted to say, and it depends on what she thinks next.

She looked into Shi Hai's eyes and asked.

"...What if I want to snatch you back?"

"up to you."

"What if I really want to purify their feelings?"

"If that's what you're really thinking, it's okay to do it, except I'm going to stop you because I don't want to see them self-destruct with an overly heavy feeling."

"..."

She finally understood what Shi Hai wanted to convey to her.

It's actually just four words.

Face your heart.

Such a simple thing, but she has never done it.

The gear called 'Thinking', which had been stagnant for a long time, started to rotate again.

She began to ask herself what she really wanted and what she wanted to do...

In the end, she found that she was just envious.

Envious of them being able to come back to him again.

At the same time, I was terrified that I would be left behind.

Ahhh...

what……

What a shame...

What Shi Hai said is correct, it is simply a child who is making trouble...

And just to say these words to himself, he went through a long time and found her...

She felt her nose sore, and she was about to cry.

"But... now... it's too late..."

"It's never too late to make a change."

"...Can I do it too? Can I fall in love with you too? Can I also get your love like them?"

"I don't know, even the deduction of fate can't predict people's fate, because people's feelings are unpredictable, but try it?"

Shi Hai got up and teased with a smile.

"Besides, you will bring me into a 'completely fictional' dream in the end, so it means that you still have a little meaning for me?"

But this time, she nodded and admitted honestly.

"Well...Because I'm different from them, I don't have the memory of being with you, so I really want to know how I got together with you in the original world..."

"Unfortunately, there is no such memory here."

"If I had, I wouldn't be autistic."

"Now are you thinking about it?"

"Even if you can't think about it, there is nothing you can do... They have already compromised and accepted it, so what's the use of me continuing to fight?"

She said so angrily, and then said with a wry smile.

"Also, it's enough that there is a world where you and I came together...Although that me is not the current me...but I won't be obsessed with it anymore."

"Actually, as long as you abandon these memories, you can still change back to the original you, and you don't even have to be involved with messy things anymore."

She looked up at the memory screens around her. The memories of these intricate rebirths were indeed a burden, but she did not intend to give up.

"No, these memories are also part of me..."

It is precisely because of receiving these memories that she has become what she is today, the unique her.

However, she looked at the memory of a woman who hated women with an excessive appearance rate, and frowned and said.

"No...Maybe it's better to delete those junk memories of Bai Yue..."

"Indeed...Actually, her daily memory is fine, but she occasionally has a seizure, which is a bit..."

"The character has collapsed, right? This woman looks cold, but in fact she is too perverted..."

"...I have to say, you are right this time."

Unlike Shi Hai who only knew how to move forward, Bai Yue did a lot of unimaginable things in the process of repeated rebirth.

Moreover, many very bad incidents occurred, and the results surprised Shi Hai.

"And to be honest, I think I'm seeing some memories that I shouldn't be seeing..."

She also squinted her eyes at Shi Hai and said.

"Although ninety percent of it is the fault of that idiot Bai Yue, the woman, it's pretty bad for you who triggered that ending..."

"It's true...it's the first time I've discovered that I'm actually so bad..."

She pointed to a memory scene and said.

"The others are all okay, that is, they are a little harsh... But this, what are you going to do?"

Shi Hai glanced at it, but didn't dare to look again, so he turned his head and said.

"Even if you ask me... I don't know..."

"Are you hesitant, too?"

"Hey, the problem of relationship is really too complicated... Let's take it step by step."

"...Actually, I think, isn't this pretty good?"

"Are you serious?"

"Anyway... the normal three views no longer apply to you, me, and them."

"That's what I said..."

"It's like you, a single-minded straight man, has now become a skilled scumbag who can patronize different women's boudoirs every day. At first, he felt abnormal, but after getting used to it, he felt that this is not bad."

"maybe……"

"Okay, let's talk about it after we go out."

She stretched out her hand to Shi Hai, and Shi Hai grabbed that hand and pulled her up from the ground.

"Then please take me out..."

Shi Hai opened his mouth, originally wanted to call her name, but Shi Hai suddenly found that he couldn't remember her name.

Urgently searching the memory bank, she should have remembered it at the beginning, but she has already seen that Shi Hai has forgotten her name, and said with a sigh.

"Ha...you didn't forget my name, did you?"

Shi Hai scratched his cheek in embarrassment and said.

"...Uh, wait, I remember it! I definitely remember it! It's just a bit too long ago, so it takes time to search..."

"Come on, your memory is almost the same as mine. When you think about it, I will wake up in reality... Let me tell you directly."

She officially put her name on the Times poster.

"My name is An Shengwei, the safe An, the holy Sheng, the only Wei."

"An Shengwei...An Shengwei..."

Shi Hai mumbled the name repeatedly, and the memory before entering the dream was also activated.

"Oh...by the way, your name is An Shengwei...I remembered...uh..."

Recalling this crucial name, Shi Hai finally remembered what he was doing in An Shengwei's dream.

Then there was a 'fucked up' expression.

Seeing his expression, An Shengwei laughed instead.

"Pfft... Didn't you realize that you came to attack me now?"

"Sorry, I only have one idea left to find you..."

"It doesn't matter, anyway, you have successfully captured me."

"Ok?"

An Shengwei held Shi Hai's hands, closed his eyes, and spoke the truth as if praying.

"Thank you for coming to see me..."

"Thank you for sticking to me..."

"So it's time to replace me next."

"It doesn't matter if you can't remember my name now, but I will let you remember it later."

"Keep it firmly in your heart, remember it for the rest of your life, and remember it until you die... Even if you want to forget it, you can't forget it..."

She opened her eyes again, the corners of her mouth were slightly split, she smiled intoxicatedly, and a blush appeared on her face.

The eyes are blurred and empty, exuding a sickly beauty...

This can be regarded as... is the strategy complete?
How do you feel... the next thing is that you are going to be attacked?
I mean, is it possible...

An Shengwei is a sick girl?

(End of this chapter)