Natural beauty, inspirational nature

Chapter 20 A Walk Through the Gate of Hell

The eldest daughter of my aunt's family works in this hospital. On the day I was admitted, I heard her say to my mother outside the door of the ward:
"Dr. Liu just told me that if you send it later, your life will be in danger. You must take a lot of drugs, and the drugs used will have a lethal effect on the fetus. To be more serious, if you don't use strong drugs, you may die. , used strong drugs, and kept the child. It is very likely that the future will be born with dementia or disabled hands and feet. It is best to prepare for the worst, and it is best not to have the child. The doctor’s decision is to save the adults first, and the child’s business , I'll talk about it later."

When I heard that my child was going to be aborted, I felt sad and anxious. When my mother came in, I lay on the hospital bed and asked her with difficulty: "Why? Why do other people get pregnant and give birth naturally, but I have to work so hard. , Just like Tang Monk has to go through ninety-nine and eighty-one difficulties in learning the scriptures, why is everything a little harder for me than others?"

Mom didn't answer my question, I saw her eyes were red.As I spoke, tears streamed down my face. After crying for a while, I continued: "My child is my flesh and blood. I was pregnant with it for six months. How could I have the heart to send him away? I won't say anything." Will agree to destroy it! How do you know that he will definitely be sick when he grows up in the future, maybe he can grow up healthy and smart like a normal child?"

My mother didn't argue with me, but just reassured me that everything will be fine, and the current illness should be cured first.In order not to worry me, they pretended to agree that I would keep the child.

In the later days, I started to be intubated. During the intubation, I could not eat any food. A long tube was inserted from my nostril into the esophagus and then into the stomach.

After being intubated, I couldn’t breathe normally and my body couldn’t move normally. I was tortured to the point of pain. Once I felt so painful that I was about to go crazy. I insisted on getting up and asked the medical staff to help me pull out the tube. I was trained by the medical staff. After a call, no one paid any attention to me, so I had no choice but to go back to the hospital bed and helplessly look at the ceiling and cry silently.

During the period when I couldn’t eat, my whole body was in pain, my lips were chapped, and because I couldn’t walk, my legs were inexplicably sore, and the pain was so painful that I couldn’t sleep.My mother and my mother-in-law take turns rubbing and massaging my thighs, and I feel a little better.

Seeing the people around me eating and eating fruit, I can only look at it in despair, searching and recalling in my mind the taste left in my memory by the fragrance and taste of those foods before pregnancy.

In the past six months, because of pregnancy and morning sickness, everything I ate was tasteless and hard to swallow. After I got sick, I wanted to eat but couldn’t eat anything. During that time, I almost forgot the taste of food and could only rely on drips to maintain basic Survival energy.

It took about a week before the tube was removed from my nostril and I started taking fluids and such by mouth.

At that time, he was still pregnant with a child, and he was suffering inhuman torture with his poor mother, but he was still stubbornly alive.I silently said to him in my heart: Son, Mom will be able to hold on once she gets away from hell, and you must hold on too.Mom won't let them take you.Mom misses you.

After the pancreatitis was cured, I was transferred to the obstetrics and gynecology department for the next round of treatment, and I was about to face the issue of whether or not to keep my child.

I insisted on keeping this child, but several doctors came over one after another to do my ideological work and advised me to think twice. My parents and his parents all advised me to abolish this child. I disagree, I cannot accept The harsh reality of parting with him.

In the end, I didn't sign. Xinbao signed the operation agreement, confirming that he would not have children. At that moment, my heart was very painful, but I couldn't do anything. My mother gave me a living example to convince me.

Because when I was very young, I knew that the headmaster of my mother’s school had a silly son who grew up to be in his 30s and was still squatting in an adult stroller. His IQ was always stopped at the age of three or four. It is said that it was because of the headmaster. The wife fell ill during pregnancy, took medicine, and insisted on giving birth to the child despite the doctor's objection.The headmaster's wife is still a high-achieving student who graduated from a medical university, but because she loved her child as much as I did at the time, she made a decision that made the whole family regret and suffer for the rest of their lives.

I have heard this story since I was a child, how can I repeat the mistakes of my predecessors because of a moment of pity.I had no choice but to reluctantly give up, and under the guidance of a doctor, I had an induced labor operation.

The picture of induced labor operation in memory is full of bloody taste.

I was pushed into the delivery room, and most of the people I was pushed into at the same time were expectant mothers, ready to welcome their new lives.

I think their moods must be full of joy and excitement, but I have a sad face, tears in my eyes, and a lot of preoccupations. Every labor pain is a cruel "goodbye" to my own blood.

He was also so stubborn that he didn’t want to come out of my stomach. I entered the delivery room at three or four in the afternoon the day before, and the pain continued until the next afternoon. He just didn’t want to leave my uterus. In the end, I could only cooperate with the doctor to breathe, and at the same time talk to him with my heart:
Son, mom is sorry for you, don't resent mom, mom really has no other choice, mom doesn't want to leave you, but if mom keeps you, you may be miserable to live in the future, and you have to suffer a lot when you come to the world Sin, if mother can still conceive in the future, if there is another chance to be a mother and child in this life, and you reincarnate again, mother hopes that you can grow up healthy and healthy, and you will not be tortured by so many drugs.My child, my mother is in pain, please help my mother, don't let my mother be in such pain, my child, please help my mother
Just when I kept talking to my child with my mind, I suddenly felt that I wanted to "poop". I struggled to get up and told the nurse to go to the bathroom, because I was not the only one who needed to be taken care of in the delivery room. Having a baby, I am having an abortion.The nurse was too busy, so she helped me up impatiently, and said coldly: "The bathroom is over there, you go in by yourself."

After I went in, just about to sit down, I felt a crash in my body, and there seemed to be a large pool of blood gushing down from my body. I was a little panicked. At that moment, I didn’t feel the severe pain of the uterus being torn apart more than ten hours ago. , I thought I was bleeding heavily, I yelled, and the nurse came and helped me to the hospital bed.

Later I found out that because the cervix was fully dilated at that time, there was no pain. In fact, what came down was not blood, but a child covered in blood.My sister learned from the nurse that when she peeled off the film, she saw that the child was fully formed and was still a boy.

After the induction of labor, the doctor explained that acute pancreatitis occurred because I could not eat for a long time during pregnancy, and my diet suddenly lost its regularity. The probability of this is very low, but unfortunately I encountered it.After the child was induced to give birth, there were still some uncleared things in my body, and after a period of time, I still need to have a curettage operation.

But because I had been fasting for a month during the treatment of pancreatitis, my nutrition could not keep up, and after the pancreatitis was cured, I induced labor and lost too much blood. As a result, my body was severely malnourished. At that time, the "hemoglobin" was extremely low, and I could not continue Surgical indicators.

I was so weak that I had difficulty even standing up normally.I am in urgent need of nutritional supplements, and the food in the hospital cannot meet my needs. My aunt and sister often bring me supplements stewed from home, and my mother will also go to the market outside to buy the freshest ingredients. The money was processed by others. Under the careful care of my family, I gradually recovered my health. After the hemoglobin index returned to normal, I completed the curettage operation.

Because Xinbao had to go to work, he rarely had time to visit me in the hospital. He only had time to visit me on weekends. After I was discharged from the hospital, I went back to my hometown with my parents to recuperate.

During that time, the whole family was busy rescuing me from death, so no one mentioned his illness requiring surgery for a while.

After all, I am still young, and my mother took care of me at home for a month, and I have almost recovered. I proposed to go back to work as soon as possible, but my mother was the first to strongly object, saying: "Women have confinement for at least two months. What's more, you narrowly escaped death and underwent two surgeries, so if you get to the root of the disease, the consequences will be disastrous."

In the 21st century, most men have abandoned the old feudal idea of ​​finding a "young girl" when choosing a mate, but most men still hope that the other half of their life they find is pure and clean, does not smoke, drink or go to bars, and more No experience of miscarriage or abortion is allowed.

A very small number of men have become mature in thinking after going through the world, and can realize that most girls can do it without smoking, drinking or messing around. But girls with serious jobs don’t like going to nightclubs, but you It has to be said that it is a bit harsh to expect a woman to remain perfect or have never had an abortion before she is with you.

In the relationship between the sexes, women have to bear far more risks than men because their body structure and physiological functions are completely different from those of men. There are many cases of being seduced by scumbag men when they are young and ignorant, and forced to have sexual relations by men. The purer the heart, the less aware of precautions against the opposite sex, the easier it is to be deceived.

So the cruel reality that boys don’t understand is: In the growth experience of every woman, except for those girls who are particularly well protected by their families, have received advanced sex education and have a strong sense of vigilance, most women have more or less All have experienced some history of blood and tears from a girl to a woman.It's just that everyone keeps silent on this difficult topic, for fear of being misinterpreted and publicized by the world as a stain.In fact, it doesn't matter what the world thinks, what matters is whether you have a clear conscience.

A child is supposed to be the crystallization of love between two people who love each other, and it is also a gift from God.If God is going to take him cruelly, it must be because the union between you two was wrong in the first place, because it was not based on true love, but based on deceit and lies, based on other things that have nothing to do with love.

From pregnancy to illness, from hospitalization to discharge, the physical trauma I suffered this time is undoubtedly huge, but I have a strong sense of responsibility, and I always feel that I always stay at home and enjoy the care of my family. sin.The main thing is that Xinbao’s monthly salary is only three or four thousand, and it is difficult to bear the financial expenses of the family. I don’t want my mother to help us all the time, so I urgently want to go to work and earn money.My mother couldn't resist my insistence, so she could only let me go back to Suzhou to work when I was less than two months of training.

(End of this chapter)