Merry Eunuch Lang

Let's talk about the roots of Bixia Palace.Bixia Palace is not a palace at all, and it is not in the Sangong and Six Courtyards. It was just a garden in the past.As a rule, there are one imperial concubine, two imperial concubines, four concubines, and six concubines under the empress. A total of 14 people live in the six palaces in the east and west.The queen lives in the middle palace, followed by the east and west palaces.There are also queens who live in the East Palace. For example, the queen mothers in the two palaces of the Qing Dynasty, the east is the main one, and the west is the auxiliary one. Cixi is logically the second in command.Below the concubine, there are nobles, permanent presence, promises, etc., all of which are indefinite.The so-called 72 concubines of the Sangong and Six Courts are all determined by each dynasty and generation, and there is no definite legal provision.The emperor referred to his wives collectively as concubines, who would dare to argue with him?Just think about the emperor forgetting his wife, it's not because someone is talking alarmistly and bewitching people, don't you hear that there are Fen Dai three thousand?What are the three thousand fans doing?If you meet some short-lived emperors, you may not have time to pray to heaven and earth every day and be a groom every night!Let's not talk about history for now, let's just talk about the origin of Tong Biyu from Bixia Palace?

Tong Biyu was originally the daughter of a guard envoy at a border gate. Old General Tong took his wife, children, and a whole family to station in the icy and snowy desert all year round.In this way, the old empress dowager at that time was still worried, fearing that he would talk about inside and out, and be disobedient.Later, he found out that Lao Tong had a daughter who had not left the court, so he made a living. Regardless of whether the girl was ugly, tall, short, black, white, fat, etc., he randomly married her and gave her the name of a concubine and became her family. daughter-in-law.When Tong Biyu first arrived, due to the influence of the plateau climate, although her facial features were neat, her face was not flattering, two red clouds flew up on her cheeks, and her skin was rough and rough.When the emperor worshiped the emperor and got married, he glanced at his new concubine and turned away in disgust. Since then, he has become a meat bun and beats a dog. Since then, Tong Biyu has become the infatuated man who returns every night. woman.She lived in that Bixia Garden accompanied by several court ladies all year round. Unlike being a widow, she can only look after her husband, and a lot of resentment and anger have accumulated in her stomach.Fortunately, the old emperor died of a short life in his thirties, which gave her a chance to turn around. After repeated discussions, repeated deliberations, and serious inspections, the ministers finally selected her son to sit in the temple.

Bixia Court is a bedroom specially built for Concubine Tong when she came here. The house is not big, but the location is good. The best place to cultivate gods.However, the girl from Tong's family is only [-] years old, and she is still a long way from Yangyang Tiannian. In addition, she grew up in the frontier fortress, and she likes to shoot, hunt and ride horses, and run wildly on the grassland.Suddenly the environment changed one day, the man of her family slept with his arms around other women every night, and she could not hear her when she heard her voice, even the ears of a deaf person could not compare, so how could she endure such loneliness?But the rules of the royal family are strict, the walls are high and the palace is deeply guarded. Could it be that a little girl like her can change her robes and go galloping in the streets?

Of course, she was not the only one in the court and harem. From time to time, concubines from other palaces came to her to play some lip service to pass the time and chat.Usually there are Consort Zhang, Concubine Li, Concubine Li, and Concubine Li. Concubine Zhang is seldom talkative, Concubine Li is clumsy, but only Madam Li is the most quick-spoken, straightforward and knowledgeable, and often makes her laugh Laugh out loud and forget about your troubles.

One day, the two sisters were sitting in front of them and gossiping.Empress Li suddenly asked:

"Sister, how many times has the emperor favored you?"

Concubine Tong immediately covered her face with a red cloud, unable to speak for a long time.Although she has been in the family for a long time, she is still a daughter now!If you tell the truth, you are ashamed to speak, if you make a hypothesis, you can't speak for a while.

Madam Li thought she was shy, so she said: "What are you afraid of? You and I have both been here, so what are you embarrassed about? If you don't tell me, our emperor has favored me seven or eight times! The most memorable thing is the big On the day of the wedding, the emperor made me feel so painful that I bled more than half a glass!"

Concubine Tong didn't know if it was because of shyness or something else, she turned her face away hastily.

Empress Li didn't understand what Concubine Tong was thinking, so she forced her body and asked, "Sister, I've already told you, how about you?"

"... How many times has it been!" Concubine Tong muttered.

"Isn't this the end? The matter between men and women is not the same after all. Let me tell you, don't marry the royal family if you marry anyone in your next life. What's the difference between having a man and not having a man? Sometimes I'm so anxious that I can't wait to uproot the radish and insert it." Go in!" Madam Li said, suddenly remembered something, and said, "Sister, let me tell you a story about sticking carrots!"

Without waiting for Concubine Tong to say anything, and regardless of whether she wanted to or not, Empress Li changed the subject and started telling her story of "inserting carrots" on her own:

"It's about a girl who is old and unmarried. The girl can't sleep at night and thinks about it every day. She has no choice but to pray to God Stove and say: 'I want something like that, and I hope Lord Stove will make it happen. '. When I prayed again a day later, I suddenly saw a paper package on the altar of Stove Lord. The girl opened it excitedly and saw that it was a round and long meat vertebrae. The girl couldn't help but hurriedly He took off his clothes, pulled off the quilt, and inserted it with the meat vertebrae, and immediately felt extremely comfortable. After several times, when it was time to enjoy himself, he couldn't help shouting loudly. The girl's sister-in-law passed by the door, and the voice was not right. How could a girl make such a sound? The sister-in-law poked open the window paper and looked in, but there was no sign of a man. After a while, she saw the girl sneakily take something out of the quilt tube, and carefully used it Wrapped it in paper and put it on the stove. The next day, my sister-in-law took the thing on the stove and it looked very attractive. She went back to the room to try it for herself, and it was really extraordinary. The sister-in-law got up and dressed, She scolded in her heart: "A dead girl thinks about this before she is married. How can it be decent to spread it?" In a rage, the sister-in-law cut the meat vertebrae into slices, put them on the pot and roasted them yellow over low heat. Smash it into powder and put it in the same place. Not long after, the girl got married and invited many guests to eat wine. The master searched for the pepper powder and found it. Suddenly he saw the paper bag on the stove, opened it and sniffed it, and felt that the taste was not bad. After eating the banquet, the guests felt itchy buttocks, and ran out with excuses. The girl’s father sent the guests back, and when they entered the door, why did the guests disappear in the blink of an eye? Hurriedly went out to find , suddenly looked up and saw a group of people squatting in the radish field at home, each man and woman had a big radish stuck in their buttocks. My father was angry, thinking that the master must have done something, he went back home and opened the closet Look at the door: the master is just taking off his pants and lying on the chopping board, with a spoon handle stuck in his buttocks, and one hand is still shaking!..."

After Liniang finished speaking, she laughed and leaned forward.Concubine Tong covered her mouth, but her eyes were filled with tears.