It's a diary

Chapter 28 We all need to be well
In fact, I should have started writing this earlier.But after I came back, I held my shark doll and kept rubbing it, which delayed it.Fluffy things are really fun.

Such as cats, such as dolls, such as dandelions...

Caterpillars don’t count.

Have to sigh!
Girls are really weird creatures.

The emotions come quickly and fiercely, and I want to lose my temper or cry for no reason... After the violence is over, after crying, I can accept all the unexpected bad things with a calm mind.

Even when others ask, I can answer frankly that my current situation is okay and I am doing well.

For example, right now, I am recounting what has happened and telling everyone who wants to get a glimpse of my life during this period.

Some people may tell me with a smile from the perspective of someone who has experienced it: "This is growing up. I can accept changes in things and the environment, and I can stand on my own."

First of all, I am not sure whether this statement is true or false.

Secondly, I really hate the words, you grow up.

I can be a fool, a fool, a coward, or a lunatic.

That's it, that's it.I don’t want to be an adult.

I would rather remain a fool and stay stupid. Childish ones are cute, and idiots have a bad reputation, but I still have preferences...

When you become an adult, it’s like there’s nothing left.

There is nothing to hold on to, and I can no longer cry casually.I am both a crybaby and a greedy person, so I made up my mind much earlier: I will always be a child.

Stop saying "It can't be like this, everyone will grow up."

Don't say such things, it's not that I don't accept reality, I just want to live as I please.

Every time someone tried to wake me up with words, all he got was a hostile look from me.

Maybe there is another sentence: "Then as long as my time is suspended at this moment forever, can I be a child for the rest of my life?"

When more people hear this, they won’t even want to talk to me!

Humph.

If you don’t say it, don’t say it. Anyway, there’s nothing I like to hear.

I will say what you like to hear, talk about topics you are interested in, say what I want to say to you, and try to be as bold as possible to express that I like you...

I rarely talk to others. I used to not want to socialize, but then I couldn't. Now, now I'm just lazy.

Most of the time, I just like to listen to other people's opinions.If you suddenly choke on someone's words one day, you are either depressed or nervous.

Yesterday, a friend of mine sent me a message: "Would you like to buy a cake? Desserts are good for physical and mental health. When you are sad, you should eat something sweet."

Yes.

sweets.

Girls are really weird. After crying, nothing remains the same.A doll and a piece of cake can make her happy.

More boys probably choose to endure it silently.

I always feel that boys don’t like to cry very much.

Is it because you feel embarrassed?

My neighbor brother, in the eight or nine years that I have known him, I have hardly ever seen him cry.

At most, his eyes were scarlet red.

There is absolutely no way I can understand it!

If you don’t even understand yourself, do you still want to try to understand others?Big joke.

I cried so hard yesterday that my eyes were red and I couldn't shed any tears.But the sun was so warm yesterday. It was so warm that I could walk on the road without a coat.

After crying, the sun is still so warm.

There is no transformation at all.

If that's the case, what's there to be ashamed of about crying?
In the afternoon, I didn't go to have dinner.

After class, I walked downstairs at a steady pace as usual and returned to the dormitory.

As soon as I arrived, I dug out my shark from the cabinet.

Then we hugged it, leaving the two of us alone, staring blankly at the empty dormitory.

First let me say that I am not disappointed.I just want to cry for no reason.

Why?
very strange!

I really don't feel the slightest bit disappointed, I just want to shed tears for no reason.

Like I said, I did some mental building early on.

Half a year ago, at the beginning of the cold winter I spent in Beiyu last year, I was thinking about these questions.

Keep thinking about it and force yourself to accept it...

In fact, even now, the status quo is good.

right?
At least, I didn't lose my health here.

However, I don’t have the health to lose anymore.

Yesterday, my mood fluctuated so much all of a sudden, just because I was really in a state of mind.

I think of the two somkings again, those obscene jokes, warning and threatening words, and the various discomforts in my body...

I remembered what the hippopotamus said about coming out with me, leaving me alone.

When I was packing my things, I saw the pile of medicines and remembered that I was still in the acclimatized stage.

……

me!

Crybaby.

In fact, roommates are not bad.

Gua Xixi is just dull (no derogatory meaning), my new roommate is quite quiet.The other two, just like that, neither up nor down, good or bad.

That’s fine if you have a mediocre me!

right?
Will boys worry about dormitory conflicts?
I always feel that girls’ dormitories are actually quite prone to conflicts.Because some people are really weird.

The reason why I was so repelled yesterday was because I was afraid of meeting the best person.That way, I can't resist it at all.

After getting along with them, I actually didn’t even know their names, I just behaved and behaved myself.

Come back for a lunch break at noon, wake up and go to the computer room; come back to take a shower in the afternoon, and then go to the classroom; and go to bed after self-study in the evening.

After all, I don't spend much time here.

I will also try to avoid spending time here, no matter who I am, whether it is going to the classroom to review textbooks, reading extracurricular books, or making a cup of black tea with two sugar cubes... it will do.

As long as I like it.

On weekends, go out for a walk and drink tea.

Another day, spend half the day in the library and the other half sleeping.

Just be yourself and don't cause trouble to others.

This is pretty simple, right?
Today, at the end of the morning meeting, the head teacher walked to the front of the team.It's quite strange, because, I thought, he wasn't there.

He asked me, "Are you getting used to living with another girl?" He had a bunch of keys dangling in his hand, and there was also a car alarm in it (you know how to say 8).

Until I went to bed at noon, I was deeply impressed by the car logo on it.

But after I woke up, I completely forgot about it.

In fact, in the end, I didn't answer his question, but the corners of my mouth curved slightly.

It's useless to say.

If it's useless, then what's the point.

It's just a waste of breath.

I got this feeling.But there is no need to say it. If you say it, it will make you sad again and make it difficult to do it.

I don’t like letting others see what I really look like.That's bad.

I also don’t want others to be too close to me, so that others will become arrogant.

I like to get along with that kind of girl with short hair in the next class.Be polite, know how to advance and retreat, have enough correct outlook on life and education...

Another girl replied to the teacher: "Not very good, they are too messy." Really, it was Guagua who was dumbfounded.

His reply was pretty much the same as what I expected: "...(I forgot about the previous part, I'm such a fool) Then I can only get used to it slowly."

I'm even more glad that I didn't say anything.

I don't want to hear this now, and I don't want to in the future either.So I won’t say it so that others don’t have the chance to say it.

These words are also true.

is correct.

But if I don’t say it, there will be no response.Then my purpose of not wanting to hear it will be achieved.

The food in our school is actually quite cheap.

There are three pieces of meat and vegetables, two pieces of meat and vegetables, and one piece of vegetarian food.

What's more important is that Auntie's hands don't shake.

So I rarely eat noodles, because, it seems, if I add anything, it costs eight or ten yuan.

Only on Fridays will you be extravagant and order a bowl of noodles.

To be honest, I am really, quite ink-stained.Bad habits picked up during a gap year.

Because my health was really bad at that time, I did almost everything slowly.

Later, I devoted most of my time to enjoying life, which led to me doing everything slowly.

In those early days, I liked to take books to milk tea shops or coffee shops, and then open the book. The sun was shining on the ground outside, and the wind was making the fibrous roots of the old banyan tree sway...

The coffee shop I frequent has an orange cat.

It was kept fat by its boss.Sometimes it curls up in a ball to sleep, and I happen to come there again. From a distance, it looks like a ball or a big orange.

I quite like cats. (Not necessarily, it seems I just don’t hate it)

It’s just that people are lazy, they can’t even support themselves, they can’t support themselves well.

Why bother with the cat?

Dog words.

is afraid.

More or less afraid.

Been bitten before.

Later, they were sold by their owner at a loss to vaccinate me.

Although I still get scared and break into cold sweats when I think of them, I just can’t help but feel sad.

Because, their final destination should be just a cooking shop.

When I got back to the dormitory, it was already twelve o'clock.

Let’s just call her Gua Xixi (this title is just a title, not derogatory).

Gua Xixi asked me if I had gone to get the release slip.

I said no, isn't it afternoon?

She said that the teacher said that if you don’t pick it up, you won’t be able to wait until it expires.

"Oh, just don't do it. You'll have to rot in school."

That's what I answered.

I just don’t want anything anymore.Nothing, nothing.My mentality is like this most of the time.

It's never my turn to say whether you want it or not.

There’s no point in forcing something you can’t get.

I hugged my shark and kept rubbing it. Although my phone was on silent, when the message came, I still knew it at once.

Oh, it's my class teacher.He said my release slip was on his desk and asked me to pick it up when I had time.

It would be a lie to say that I wasn't surprised.

I already wanted to tell you that I can’t end tomorrow’s chapter with yesterday’s ending.

But suddenly there was a turning point.

Now, the release slip is pressed under my mat.

I started typing this chapter slowly at 05:30, and halfway through I went out with Gua Xixi to pick up the courier.

I don't know what she bought. I just went to get some anti-allergy medicine and a carton of milk.

When I came back, I was busy again. First, I checked Weibo, and then watched videos for a few minutes. I was in a daze before continuing to write.

My mother said she didn't like this about me.

I'll do whatever I'm asked to do, but I just like to put it off until the end.

In fact, I don’t understand why I have to write so persistently every day.Simply sharing life? No, my desire to share doesn’t seem that strong.

Maybe it’s because I said before that I would keep writing until I graduate, until I leave Qingzhou…

But actually, I think I am, really, really too idle.I don't know what to do, and I can't concentrate on anything else, so I just want to be busy.

Give yourself an excuse.

get busy.

Speaking of which, why do I think they are all boys? Look at these anecdotes I wrote! ?
very strange!

It's really strange!

I thought that even if someone could read it, it would only be girls of a similar age.

Sure enough, no one can be easily defined.

Thank you also to everyone who left messages, comforted and encouraged me.

Thank you.

I will.

I'm just timid and like to talk.

Moreover, no one wants to die in a foreign country!
But if there is a next time, if possible.Just don't send those words of comfort and encouragement. This always makes you feel heavy and philosophical.

When facing a girl who is a bit stupid, it’s okay to be a fool!
Please don't let my constant negative energy affect your mood!Be happy, be as happy as eating strawberry cake every day.

Next time, why not share your daily life with me?

Like "Today's sunset is beautiful." "I met a silly person" "I found someone I like" "I looked up on the road and accidentally saw a stupid cloud." "I went to a beautiful coffee shop" "An encounter Got a cat.”

……

I really want to see similar news, and I will read it carefully. If you want, I am also willing to share with you all the good things I have encountered in my life.

Of course, if you don’t want to, that’s okay.

Intermediate your freedom.

I feel satisfied when I receive replies from others, or to be precise, messages from others.

This is true whether it is QQ, wx, email, reply, or handwritten letter...

Must be happy.

Don't be like me, don't be like me.

I will go out for a walk tomorrow. If I come back, I still have the strength.I will share with you all the scenery I saw and describe it in detail.

Want to eat wontons.I want to eat.

When I talk about wontons, I think of the closed wonton shop in Beiyu.This is such a shame.

　Maybe it’s because I was born in winter, maybe it’s because I was born with a cold body, so I like anything that can make me feel warm.

　　I can't like them, and I don't dare to like those cold people, for fear of getting frostbite.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)