i'm not a bad man

Chapter 376 You are just a bastard
There was a short distance between me and Lu Ming, and he stared at me, and then walked towards me step by step. I felt the danger in his walking posture and eyes, and I instinctively wanted to step back. , I really don’t want to be beaten anymore, because I have been beaten too many times in the past year, and I am already afraid of being beaten!

But in the end, I only took two steps back and then stopped; I knew very well that no matter what the reason Lu Ming came for, there was only the result between us, and as long as the result appeared, there would be no end. Someone has to face it, and I am the one who must face it, because these results are, to a large extent, caused by me.

……

Lu Ming grabbed my collar with one hand and made a fist with the other hand and swung it at me. I had the ability to avoid it, but suddenly my heart sank, so I just stood there and looked at him with a mentality of letting him do whatever he wanted. he……

Perhaps, the pain his fist caused me would actually alleviate my mental pain. Regarding Luan Yu, I really have too much guilt, but everyone is trying to persuade me to let it go, but no one has ever asked me to bear it. So that I became numb, numbly thinking that this was the fate of Luan Yu and I, and gradually neglected to reflect...

However, Lu Ming's fist stopped ten centimeters away from my temple. It seemed that in this short moment, he had thought a lot. At his core, he was as rational and calm as Lu Xi.

He finally let me go, looking a little frustrated and lost.

……

"Do you smoke?"

The sunset has gradually set, and night has fallen on the small town again. Lu Ming and I sat side by side on the steps of the ticket office of the scenic spot, looking at the small town in the distance. The lights were turned on again, and the lights looked a little deserted, just like The mood at the moment.

Lu Ming looked at me and hesitated for a moment. He didn't seem to have the habit of smoking, but he still took the cigarette from my hand. I lit it for him and he took a heavy puff. Because he was not skilled, As he hesitated, his eyes turned red.

He stopped smoking, but he didn't throw away the cigarette. He just held it in his hand. After a moment of silence, he said to me: "Sometimes, some things happen that are really unimaginable...I also It’s just that after staying in a foreign company for less than three months, she is no longer here!”

"I'm sorry, brother."

Lu Ming turned to look at me. He was a little surprised. He probably didn't expect that I would apologize so simply. A person only needs to apologize when he makes a mistake. Of course I feel that I am wrong, but I don't I wonder if the mistake I understand is the same as the mistake in Lu Ming's eyes.

"You don't need to say sorry, you didn't do anything wrong..."

"You just wanted to hit me."

"I was jealous...but jealousy cannot be a reason to hit someone."

I was the one who was surprised. Lu Ming raised his hand, took another puff of the almost-burned cigarette, and then said to me with a sense of loss: "I'm jealous of everything you and her have gone through..." I am also a little resentful towards myself because I was too persistent in one thing, which caused her to bear too much mental burden, which directly caused me not to see her for the last time... This feeling is very uncomfortable, It's also painful... Looking back on our experience together, I can obviously do better... So, this is also the reason why she didn't really fall in love with me, because from the beginning, I set a very high level for her. This standard must be a shackle for her, but she carried this shackle and became the most effective assistant in my life. She tried her best to maintain my family relationship, and even tried her best to help me in my career. I have shared so much... If I had not set that standard for her, maybe she would have lived a much more comfortable life during those days with me... In her heart, she must feel that what I love most is my own principles and Standard... She will not really have a sense of belonging to me, and some will just compromise." Lu Ming, like me, fell into a trap of "what if" after Luan Yu passed away, but his if, It is more practical than me and has a clearer understanding, so I thought of the letter Luan Yu left for me. She told me in the letter that the person she was most sorry for was Lu Ming. Maybe she should have left a final letter to Lu Ming, but she didn't do it, and I don't know why she didn't do it. But at this moment, I found the answer in Lu Ming's words.

Because in Luan Yu's mind, Lu Ming's favorite thing has always been his standards and principles, which caused Luan Yu's lack of confidence. On the premise that she was not confident herself, such a final letter seemed to be too trustworthy. Dispensable.

I finally spoke: "In Luan Yu's heart, what you love most is your own principles and standards. Is that true in fact?"

Lu Ming looked even more painful, and he replied: "I thought the same way before she passed away, so because I couldn't accept this fact, I stayed in the overseas branch for three months, but... when I heard After the news that she was gone, everything...everything was not that important anymore. All I could think of was her dedication to me, and the way she carefully maintained all kinds of relationships...I really wanted to tell her that I didn't care. As long as she is around...but she will never hear them."

"People are like this. Only after true loss do you know how to regret."

I extinguished the cigarette in my hand and refilled it. After a brief moment of confusion, I suddenly felt even more pitiful for Luan Yu, because it was not until she passed away that Lu Ming and I felt that all the things she wanted were given to her. She could afford it, and when she was alive, we all used our own standards to put a heavy shackles on her. Therefore, in her short life, she has been living in the pain of not getting what she wanted, and she has never truly felt Be happy.

……

After Lu Ming finished smoking that cigarette, he actually asked me for another cigarette. He is a very adaptable person. After just the second cigarette, he seemed to have found the trick to smoking, although he still looked It's unfamiliar, but it won't infect you anymore.

"Can you tell me about your experience living together?"

Lu Ming looked at me, his eyes full of conflicting emotions. He wanted to find out, but he was concerned about the experience.

After pondering for a while, I finally said to him: "When I'm happy, I'm really happy... When I'm unhappy, it's dark... But she didn't do anything wrong. I was the one who did the wrong. I kept her trapped." In that RV with only a few square meters, I never thought about giving her a home...Brother, do you believe in fate?...When we were together, we traveled to 296 cities in total, but in the end we chose to live in Qingdao stopped... She met you in Qingdao, and I also met Lu Xi and Qiao Jiao in Qingdao... Even though she is no longer here, the fate of us is still entangled because of the city of Qingdao... …”

As soon as I finished speaking, Lu Ming's fist suddenly came over...

This time, I was unprepared, and he just hit me hard. I felt dizzy for a while, and then I looked at him in confusion...

Lu Ming looked at me coldly, and after a moment, he said coldly: "This punch was for Xiaoxi... you are a bastard!"

(End of this chapter)