Records of Strange People and Strange Events in the Old Mansion

Chapter 109 Chaos

Standing under the persimmon tree of the cross-eyed husband's house, Zhu Badger listened to Wang Jingyan explain why he called Huang Okra's hands "golden hands"?
Lu Huan didn't want to hear it and took Dan'er's hand to leave. Zhu Badger grabbed her and said that she must listen carefully. If Huang Okra's hands were really "golden hands", he would hold her hand and not let go when he saw her in the future, or he would simply cut off her golden hands and sell them for banknotes. Also, if the hands of Lan Yuliu are indeed "jade hands", the Tian family and his son, the one-armed and cross-legged people must know it, and let them hold Lan Yuliu's hand as soon as they see her. Zhu Shanzi cannot be taken advantage of. This old thing keeps touching it all day long. If possible, instigate the Tian family's father and son and the one-armed and cross-legged men to chop off Lan Yuliu's jade hands if they have the chance. Anyway, it is impossible to get this person. It would be nice to have a jade hand under the quilt every day.

Zhu Badger's words made Lu Huan laugh out loud, and Dan'er couldn't stop giggling.

Amidst the laughter, the continuous sound of bottles and cans falling to the ground came from the side-eyed in-law's house. Now, Lu Huan and Dan'er heard them all. The sound of bottles and cans falling to the ground in the room did not stop even after they stopped laughing. Badger Zhu shouted to his squinting mother-in-law: "Sister-in-law Hu, those bottles and jars in your house should also be considered cultural relics. Dr. Wang has verified them, so be sure not to break them."

"No, no, no, I haven't passed the test. I haven't passed the test." Wang Jingyan hurriedly denied.

Zhu Badger asked Wang Jingyan with a suspicious look on his face: "You haven't passed the exam? Then why did you go to her house early this morning?"

"I didn't do anything, I didn't do anything, I just sneaked in for a while, you, you, how could you see it?" Wang Jingyan was sweating on his forehead. He wanted to raise his hand to wipe it, but when he saw Lu Huan glaring at him, he raised his hand. Put it down again.

Zhu Badger smiled and said, "Oh, so I just sneaked in for a while? Actually, I didn't see it, I was just asking casually."

"You, you, you..." Wang Jingjin wanted to be angry but did not dare to be angry. His face was red and he was speechless.

Zhu Badger smiled and said: "What are you doing? Isn't it just proving the idiom of 'sneaking'?"

"What do you mean?" Wang Jingyan finally spoke.

Zhu Badger stopped laughing and asked Wang Jingyan word by word: "As a doctor, don't you understand what I mean?"

"I don't understand!" Wang Spectacle's voice suddenly rose by dozens of decibels, his face turned livid, and his pair of inverted triangular eyes showed fiercely behind his beer-bottle-bottom lenses, making him completely different from before.

Zhu Badger still laughed and said: "You don't understand, do you? Then let me explain it to you. Sneaking is an idiom, which means that you sneaked into the squinty-eyed mother-in-law's house early this morning and wanted to touch the beautiful hands of the Willow Tree Spirit. , referred to as sneaking. Unfortunately, the willow tree spirit is a master who doesn't let go of rabbits. If you don't meet her requirements, she will never let you sneak around. "

"You..." The anger that Wang Jingyan had just built up was gone again.

Zhu Badger still laughed and said, "Dr. Wang, you don't have to be secretive. If you meet her openly, especially in front of me, she will definitely let you touch her."

"Badger Immortals, don't tease Dr. Wang. He is an expert and is not as roundabout as you." The door to Squint's in-law's house opened, and Lan Yuliu rushed out menacingly.

Zhu Badger was calm and composed, standing motionless under the persimmon tree, smiling and saying to Lan Yuliu: "Oh, are you still alive? I thought you were whipped to death by your little man last night."

"Badger Immortals, let me tell you, you must die first. Dr. Wang, don't waste your time talking to such people, and lower your own status. It's not worth it." Lan Yuliu walked up to Wang Jingyan. , took Dr. Wang’s hand.

Zhu Badger laughed loudly, and after laughing for a while, he said to Wang Jingyan: "Dr. Wang, am I right? In front of me, not only will she take the initiative to let you touch her jade hand, but she will also definitely let you touch her as much as you can. . Dr. Wang, how are you going to thank me? You have touched so much with your 'gold hands' today."

"You..." Wang Jingjing and Lan Yuliu said the word "you" at the same time and froze there. They wanted to shake off each other's hands, but they felt embarrassed, especially Lan Yuliu. She couldn't do this because of Zhu Badger. Say it and stop in time.

Zhu Badger stopped laughing and said seriously to Lan Yuliu and Wang Jingjin: "What are you? Do you want me to talk for a while? Can you guys touch each other for a while? No problem, for the safety of the old house, for the old house to be listed as soon as possible For the sake of "national security", I will sacrifice my life to accompany you, even if I die of thirst. Oh, by the way, Dr. Wang, as an expert from the province, you must fulfill your duties. Lu Bo and Uncle Liu report to the superiors every day. work situation.”

"You..." Wang Jingjing subconsciously wanted to pull away Lan Yuliu's hand, but Lan Yuliu held him tightly and he couldn't pull back. Of course, it's also possible that he doesn't really want to withdraw.

"Dr. Wang, don't listen to his nonsense. There is no phone here. How can those two old men report your work to the superiors every day?" Lan Yuliu's hand holding Wang's glasses tightened, and her lips were almost touching Wang's face.

Zhu Badger laughed again: "Hahaha, Willow Tree Spirit, did you come to my house because your outfit had grown too long? You couldn't get in touch with your friends in time, so you thought that Lu Bo and Uncle Liu couldn't get in touch with the superiors in time. ?”

"Badger Immortal, it's obvious that you stole my things, you are a thief. I warn you, return the things to me honestly, and I won't care about it anymore. Otherwise, I will send you to the bureau and put you in jail. Sit through it." Lan Yuliu was furious, completely different from the previous situation of being unmoved by the weight of the mountain.

Zhu Badger laughed even more cheerfully: "Hahaha, why do these words sound so familiar? Oh, it was Monster Kui who just said the exact same thing. Willow Tree Spirit, look, what happened after she said it? I'm still in the old age. Is Zhai still fine? But she herself fled back to the provincial capital in despair."

"Eight Badger Immortals, don't be too proud. I will settle the accounts with you sooner or later." Blue Jade Liufeng's eyes widened and she glared at Zhu Badger angrily.

Zhu Badger grinned at Lan Yuliu and said with a smile: "Hey, Willow Tree Spirit, you want to settle the accounts with me? Okay, I'll wait, don't let me wait too long, my patience is very limited. Oh, By the way, I haven’t settled the accounts with you yet.”

"Last night? Badger Eight Immortals, it's okay if you don't mention last night. Since you brought it up on your own initiative, okay, then I'll settle things with you." Lan Yuliu clenched his fists tightly, feeling evil. Wang Jingyan couldn't help shouting: "It hurts, it hurts, it hurts." Lan Yuliu clenched her fists tighter, not caring about Wang Jingyan's reaction.

Zhu Badger looked funny and said: "Willow Tree Spirit, do you know why I didn't settle the accounts with you last night? Because I know you have already made up your excuses. You will say that you are not stealing the treasure of the old house, but as a A cultural relics inspector will appraise the treasures in our old house. After the appraisal is completed, the objects will be returned to their original owners and their original places. This Zhu Fan will help you testify, and Wang Glass will help you testify. In addition, even if you can't get away with it, you will. Let Zhu Yunhe and Zhu Huzhai take the blame, and Zhu Fanzi and Wang Jingjing will also testify for you."

"Badger Immortals, you are smart." Lan Yuliu put his other hand on Wang Jingyan's shoulder and looked at Zhu Badger provocatively.

Zhu Badger responded with a playful smile and said: "I'm not smart, are you smart? I've known for a long time that you and Zhu Fanzi were hiding in Zhu Hu's house, but why didn't I catch you out in time? Because I wanted you to hide in Zhu Hu's house. , so that my grandpa and uncle can be relaxed and free at Zhu Shanzi's house to check out the old house treasures that he stole little by little, thank you, hehe."

"Eight Badger Immortals, you..." Lan Yuliu's face turned from green to red again.

Zhu Badger still smiled and said: "Liu Shujing, you calculated everything but got out of the pocket. I feel sorry for you. I know why you hid in Zhu Hu's house? Don't you just want to kill two birds with one stone? It’s a pity that your wishful thinking was wrong.”

"Sister, what is her wishful thinking?" Dan'er raised her little head and asked Zhu Badger. Zhu Badger reached out and touched Dan'er's little head and said, "She and Zhu Shanzi hid in Zhu Hu's house for To protect the treasures that Zhu Shanzi stole, she thought that if the door was locked, we would have no way to go in or we would not dare to go in. Once we got in, she could instigate Zhu Shanzi to bite us back and say that we were thieves. In addition, she could ask the cross-eyed woman to take care of Zhu Shanzi. And he can monitor me from a close distance. ""Sister, then drive her away now." Dan'er stared at Lan Yuliu with a pair of bright tiger eyes. Zhu Badger said with a smile: "Sister, I can't bear to let her go. Who will fight with me? Besides, she is the county’s cultural relics census enumerator and has the qualifications to stay in the old house to conduct censuses of cultural relics. Experts from the province also need her to assist in the work day and night. "

"Oh, I understand, then do we still have to thank her and him?" Dan'er's childish tone made Zhu Badger smile even more happily. She leaned down and hugged Dan'er and said, "Of course, I'll wait until I get married." We will organize a celebration banquet for him and her to sit at the head of the house."

"Hey, hey, fairy, when will the celebration party be held?" Daylily strode over and asked Zhu Badger while wiping her mouth. Zhu Badger replied: "This depends on Dr. Wang. He has the final say on everything. Sister Huacai, you should always urge Dr. Wang to get things done earlier. We can hold the celebration banquet earlier. It will be done by then." His seven days and seven nights.”

"Wow, a celebration banquet for seven days and seven nights? That's great. Dr. Wang, from now on, except for that time, I will be inseparable from you." Daylily went over and hugged Wang Jingyan.

Lan Yuliu wanted to push Daylily away, but as soon as she stretched out her hand, she was tightly grasped by Daylily's fat hand. She had to let go of the hand that was holding Wang's glasses, and came over to push Daylily again. Unexpectedly, Day Lily grabbed her hand and pushed it forward with force. Lan Yuliu's other hand that wanted to push Day Lily not only failed to push Day Lily, but her own body failed to stabilize and stumbled to the ground.

Seeing Lan Yuliu fall to the ground, Wang Jingjing wanted to go over and help her up. Huang Lili's big hand reached over and grabbed his collar, and said cheerfully: "Dr. Wang, it's my turn to catch you. Let's go to work. Try to have the celebration feast as early as possible.”

"Slowly..." Wang's glasses were lifted high by Daylily, and he scratched with his hands and kicked with his feet, but to no avail.

Daylily picked up her glasses and walked toward the backyard, muttering as she walked: "The celebration banquet will last for seven days and seven nights. Whether you can eat it and eat it early depends entirely on you."

"Sister Huaicai, Dr. Wang lives in the dressing room on the stage of the ancestral hall." Seeing Huaicai swiping Wang's glasses away, Zhu Badger was happy and shouted after her.

Daylily responded loudly: "I know, except when he is having sex, I will be inseparable from him, eat, drink and sleep together, and try to eat your celebration feast as soon as possible."

"Sister Cauliflower, come on!" Zhu Badger shouted. She was not ordinary happy. With Daylily and Wang Jia Cai inseparable, why worry about Wang Jia Jia playing tricks on her? Next, she just needs to keep an eye on Lan Yuliu.

Lan Yuliu was still sitting on the ground. Zhu Badger ignored her and shouted towards the middle courtyard: "It's not good, it's not good, Sister Liu fell down, Sister Liu fell down..."

Following Zhu Badger's shout, One-Armed Luo, Stilt-legged Man, Tian Da Lei, Tian Er Lei and Tian Xiao Lei rushed to the front yard and ran to the persimmon tree. As expected, they saw Lan Yuliu sitting on the ground and rushed forward. I helped her, but you pushed me and the five of you got into a mess.

The swing-legged man was knocked down first by One-Armed Luo. When he fell to the ground, he grabbed Tian Xiaolei's clothes tightly and tried to support him. Tian Xiaolei's thin body could not withstand the dragging force of the cross-legged man, and his body stumbled and fell solidly on Lan Yuliu's body.

Seeing Tian Xiaolei fall on Lan Yuliu's body, the cross-legged man was extremely jealous and thought to himself, you are so lucky, I wanted to grab you up, but in the end I succeeded, how can I give you an advantage? The cross-legged guy desperately used his head to hit Tian Xiaolei.

Tian Xiaolei fell on Lan Yuliu and was so happy that he was a little confused at first, but soon realized, how could he waste such a good opportunity? So his hands moved quickly, attacking Lan Yuliu from up, down, left and right. He kicked his feet wildly, trying to push away the cross-legged guy who was holding him up, and trying to push away the one-armed guy who was pulling him up.

The one-armed Luo originally thought that because of his tallness and strength, he could be the first to arrive in front of Lan Yuliu, the first to help her up and show her courtesy, but he didn't know that the stilt-legged man was swaying like a gust of wind, and Tian Xiaolei was flailing like a rabbit, so he could only for third. Now that he sees Tian Xiaolei doing beautiful things to Lan Yuliu, why is he not envious and jealous? So he stretched out his big hand to grab Tian Xiaolei's collar, and ended up catching Tian Erlei's head.

Tian Erlei and Tian Dalei reacted a little slowly when they heard Zhu Badger's shout, and ended up rushing under the persimmon tree in fourth and fifth place. But it didn't matter, the Tian family had the ancestral Leibei Kung Fu, and Tian Dalei and Tian Erlei were the same. Shrinking, one crawled on the body of the swing-legged man, and the man's head was arched towards Lan Yuliu's body; the other man's head passed through the feet of the one-armed man, desperately trying to push Tian Xiao Le away.

Tian Xiaolei didn't catch Tian Xiaolei's collar, but caught Tian Erlei's silky hair. His one-armed Luo was so angry that it more or less touched the edge of the blue jade willow, but he only caught it. He gritted his teeth and used all his strength to pluck Tian Er's hairy hair. Tian Erlei was in unbearable pain and kicked his feet wildly in pain. As a result, one of his feet hit One-Armed Luo's crotch. One-Armed Luo screamed and his tall body fell on Tian Erlei's body.

Can one-armed Luo fall on Tian Erlei's body and be better? Under Tian Erlei's body is Tian Xiaolei, and under Tian Xiaolei's body is Lan Yuliu. At the same time, there are also half of the body of the rocker and Tian Da Lei. The two of them have already arched under Tian Xiaolei's body and touched each other. The blue jade willow.

The worst thing is that after falling down, the one-armed Luo didn't get up immediately. Instead, he groped for the target with one arm.

"Beep!" Zhu Badger whistled loudly, and eight fine dogs and eight pig badgers rushed in. They surrounded the crowd and started barking. The frightened One-Armed Luo rolled down the crowd and fell at Zhu Badger's feet. Get up and run.

"Stop!" Zhu Badger shouted, and One-Armed Luo braked urgently, standing still and not daring to move.

"Come back!" Zhu Badger shouted again, and the one-armed Luo lowered his head and returned.

"Pull them up!" Zhu Badger ordered, and One-Armed Luo had no choice but to go over and stretch out his one-arm to grab Tian Xiaolei.

Tian Xiaolei had already overthrown Tian Erlei, but it was because he was afraid of the eight thin dogs and eight pig badgers. He used all his strength as an instinctive reaction out of fear, but now he had no strength at all.

The one-armed Luo threw Tian Xiaolei to the ground, turned around and left. Zhu Badger did not call him back because there was no longer any pressure on him.

Now there is a situation under the persimmon tree of Squinting's mother-in-law's house: Tian Xiaolei was picked up by one arm and thrown to the ground motionless. Tian Erlei was knocked to the ground by Tian Xiaolei before and was also motionless. It's just that one of them is lying on the ground. On the ground, one is on his back. Lan Yuliu was curled up on the ground, dying. Next to her, Hetian Da Lei, a squatter who was curled up on the ground, didn't know whether he was nostalgic for his current state or still lacked the strength to move. He was almost like two dead dogs.

"Beep!" Zhu Badger whistled again, and the eight thin dogs and eight pig badgers started barking again, which frightened Tian Xiaolei, Tian Erlei, Tian Dalei and the stilt-footed man to scramble to get up from the ground. He stumbled and ran towards his home.

Lan Yuliu was still curled up on the ground motionless, her brand new spring clothes had been torn into strips, there was blood at the corner of her mouth, and she glared at Zhu Badger with a pair of pink and phoenix eyes.

Zhu Badger ignored Lan Yuliu and shouted to Zhu Hu's house: "Aren't you squinting enough? If you don't come out and drag her in, I will let my dogs and badgers come in and bite you."

"Come on, come on..." The cross-eyed woman timidly came out of her house, timidly walked to Lan Yuliu, helped her up and walked back.

"Beep!" Zhu Badger took Gou'er and Badger home.