Director's growth history

Fang Yuan blushed: Hey, I was really sorry for Kong Shuanghua for what I did, but Kong Shuanghua didn't even know about it!It's best not to know, but if you know, you still don't know how to deal with it.Today is just right to learn from my father-in-law in an all-round way.

Kong Zitian said: "Since you and your mother know that I have other women outside, how much do you know?" Kong Shuanghua said: "That's all I know. Who is that woman and what is her name? If you are willing to tell Me, of course I'm very happy." Speaking to this extent, Confucius knew that such a thing would not be said by Fang Yuan, and anyone would have guessed if he didn't go home for a long time.

Confucius Tian said: "Let me answer your first question first, whether this woman will affect my promotion to the main hall. At the department level, the relationship between men and women is indeed a big problem, and it can easily become the biggest obstacle to progress; but At the level of the department, if it is simply that there is an extra woman outside, it will not affect a person's progress. Unless the woman you are looking for really does not know how to advance or retreat, does not know what is good or bad, does not know right from wrong, and does not distinguish between occasions, otherwise, generally The attack has no effect at all. When the sky is as dark as a crow, the attacker says that the opponent's feathers are not clean, and it is hard to say whether it will cause fire. In terms of progress, if many people at the top support you, many people at the bottom will support you. Everyone supports you, even if there is a little mistake in the relationship between men and women, progress must still be made. Therefore, to make progress, the most important thing is to do two things well. One is to win as much support as possible from the superior. The key is to keep your political stance correct; the second is to let the people below support you, you need to make good use of all the resources in your hands, so that the people below can see hope and get benefits. If you can do this, the people below want to It’s hard not to support you. Because following you, they may get more opportunities for advancement; because following you, they have already obtained a lot of practical benefits. This is the unique progress system of today: leadership research, Public opinion surveys must have both, and one cannot be missing. If the political standpoint is correct, one can serve as an official to benefit one party. Even if there are some mistakes, such as the wrong relationship between men and women, the organization will not easily give up a usable talent. of."

Fang Yuan listened with gusto.These words of father-in-law reassured Fang Yuan a lot.Firmly grasp two things: be correct in your political stance, bring benefits to the people below, and the relationship between men and women will be insignificant.Chi Liping is the most understanding woman I have ever met. She understands reason, knows how to advance and retreat, knows right from wrong, and distinguishes between occasions. How can such a lover cause trouble for herself?Fangyuan made up his mind: he must try his best to win the support from above; he must win the support of more people from below in actual work.The specific method of winning support needs to be studied, but the general direction and thinking cannot be changed.

Kong Shuanghua was obviously dissatisfied with his father's words, and said, "Dad, can you just look for women outside because it won't affect your progress? What's wrong with my mother that you must find other women outside? I don’t understand, there are wives at home, and you still have to eat what’s in the bowl and think about what’s in the pot, what’s wrong with the men nowadays?” Confucius Tian said: “It’s not what’s wrong with the men now, it’s all from China Cultural marriage tradition. For 5000 years, Chinese men can have three wives and four concubines, from the emperor to the common people, as long as they can afford it, and as long as the woman is willing, no one will ask and interfere with how many wives and concubines they marry. Of course, wives There are at most three, one regular wife and two equal wives. The children born to these three wives are called concubines. There is no regulation on the number of concubines. The main wife in the middle palace, the two equal wives in the east palace and the west palace, and the remaining concubines are basically concubines. If any of the three wives dies or divorces, the concubine may be promoted to "three wives". New China only has a history of 72 years this year, and monogamy was only advocated after October 59, 1949. There was no tradition of monogamy in China before. In just 10 years, how can China be eradicated at once? The deep-rooted tradition of male-female relations brought about by 1 years of history? In the era of Chairman Mao, it should be said that he used high-pressure methods to advocate gender equality and monogamy. What about the inertia of the 59-year history? When did the true equality between men and women really manifest? The members of the Standing Committee of the Political Bureau of the Central Committee of the Mao era were all men, so why did they not reserve a position or half of the position for women? In the last century In the 5000s, apart from Sun Yat-sen’s wife, Soong Ching Ling, who held the title of vice-president of the country, were there any other women in the central leadership? In the 5000s, apart from the wife of Chairman Mao Zedong, who became a member of the Politburo, were there any other women? Women? What's more, ** came into the leadership's life when He Zizhen was not divorced, and the formal divorce procedures were handled later. How do you look at it? Look at the current Central Committee Leader, apart from Liu Yandong, are there any other women who are members of the leadership? If equality between men and women is really emphasized, there should be at least 50 women in the Nine Standing Committee members, and at least 70 women in the 4 members. Xiaohua, do you think this is possible? Maybe you think I’m going too far, but what I want to say is: the course of history is difficult to change, and the inertia of history is difficult to reverse. After the reform and opening up, with the flow of various ideas in the West The tide flooded into China through the open window, and monogamy, which was forcibly suppressed and promoted in the Mao era, was still clearly stipulated under the legal framework, but among the people, although they were not recognized and protected by the law, mistresses, lovers, mistresses, and adultery sprung up like mushrooms Generally, it spreads rapidly in all social strata. On the surface, it is moral corruption and loss of ethics, but if analyzed from the standpoint of Chinese cultural tradition, these phenomena are actually the recovery and rebound of the 25-year Chinese marriage cultural tradition. For such recoveryFor recovery and rebound, the above strategy is: active guidance, acquiescing to the status quo.No one and no organization dares to completely oppose and correct it completely, because no one has enough power to fight against the inertia of history. The huge force erupting from the wheel of inertia is likely to cause the opposing person or organization to lose what they currently have. everything.The organization and the people in the organization are the biggest vested interests. Who would dare to take the risk of losing all vested interests to forcibly crack down on all phenomena that do not conform to monogamy?It can be actively guided at the level of public opinion, and actively regulated at the level of law, but in practice, acquiescing to the status quo is an inevitable choice. "

Fang Yuan admired his father-in-law so much.It was obviously an extramarital affair that seemed to only involve a family, but now it was raised to the height of Chinese cultural tradition by the father-in-law.According to my father-in-law's analysis, it seems that looking for a lover outside is a continuation of the Chinese tradition, which is natural and justified.

Kong Shuanghua was obviously touched by Kong Zitian's words, and sat there silent.Perhaps emotionally, I really can't touch my father's shocking views, but I can't find any reason to refute my father.My father is a scholar who specializes in the study of Chinese administrative management. He also has profound attainments in China's 5000-year-old management system and even cultural traditions (I don't know if it counts as Wang Po selling melons).But no matter how brilliant his father's theory was, Kong Shuanghua really couldn't accept it emotionally.But seeing the status quo of lovers everywhere in China, doesn't this mean that the tradition of "three wives and four concubines" in China has revived?

Kong Shuanghua said: "Dad, in my heart, you have always been an idol I admired and a role model for me to learn from. But now, this image has been destroyed. What a good woman my mother is, she is loyal and considerate to my father. , Dedication to the family, I feel that compared with my mother, I am much worse. Is it so difficult for such a good woman to ask for your loyalty? "

Confucius Tian sighed: "Xiaohua. The traditional Chinese marriage relationship has required women to be loyal to men since ancient times. It has never stipulated that men should be loyal to women. As long as Chinese men who married more than two wives before 1949 , there is no way to say that you are only loyal to one woman, and it is commonplace to find a female confidant outside. The great proletarian writer, revolutionist, and educator Lu Xun had a wife Zhu An in his hometown, and later brought him to Beijing to live together, but it did not affect He continued to look for Xu Guangping. The former leader of Taiwan, Jiang Jingguo, had his wife Jiang Fangliang, but he still had a lover Zhang Yaruo, and had a child Zhang Xiaoyan, who has now changed his surname to Jiang Xiaoyan. Loyalty in Confucianism means that ministers are loyal to the emperor, sons are loyal to their fathers, A wife is loyal to her husband. There is no mention of a husband’s loyalty to his wife in any scriptures. Therefore, in ancient China, emperors or officials often set up chastity cards for loyal wives after death, but I have never heard of a chastity card for any man. Of course, I It’s not an excuse for me. Your mother is a good woman. I admit it. Her contribution to this family is obvious to all. I respect and appreciate her very much. As long as she acquiesces to this status quo, no one can change it. She is the wife of my Kong Zitian, and she will always be the hostess of the family, and most of the money I earn will be handed over to her, and I will still take on the responsibility of supporting the family." Kong Shuanghua said : "I really don't understand, you think Mom is good, but you are looking for it outside. Don't use the Chinese tradition to explain the truth to me, I can't accept it, at least emotionally." Confucius Tian said: " Well, I don’t talk about Chinese culture, I only talk about myself. A person’s needs are diversified, including spiritual needs and material needs. It can be said that with the current conditions of our family, the material needs can definitely be met , but the spiritual needs have not been fully met. There are many kinds of spiritual needs, such as family affection, between me and you, between Ruirui and Fangyuan, there is a strong family affection; And the reason why I finally took this step is because I can’t find this kind of spiritual needs with your mother.” Kong Shuanghua said: “What needs do you want?” Kong Zitian said: “First, I want A feeling of being admired by others. With your mother, I can’t feel it. When a woman looks at you with adoring eyes, you will find a kind of confidence and dignity as a man. Second, I also need a heart When the work pressure is high, when the work is not going well, who can solve the troubles in my heart? Who can let me slowly relieve the pressure? This kind of spiritual comfort is better than cooking a good meal, better than the last bed, More importantly. Third, I need normal communication. This kind of communication can’t be solved by just eating and going to bed. This requires a common language between men and women, and the woman needs to be especially understanding and understand what I think , understand my difficulties and pains. And this is exactly what your mother lacks. Xiaohua, I don’t know if my three reasons can make you understand why I took this step. "

Such words can only be said in front of the closest and dearest people!This is simply the most ulterior secret in Confucius Tian's heart!But Kong Zitian's words resonated infinitely around Fangyuan: I am looking for Chi Liping now, so why not have such a mentality?Perhaps some of the men in the world are looking for fun and stimulation, and the vast majority of men probably have the mentality of Confucius Tian more or less.

Fang Yuan was trying to appreciate the meaning of his father-in-law's incisive words, when he suddenly heard Kong Shuanghua calling him: "Fang Yuan!" Fang Yuan turned to look at Kong Shuanghua, and saw that there were crystal tears hanging on her face.Fangyuan said, "Shuanghua, what's wrong with you?" Kong Shuanghua was pitiful, with complicated eyes: "Fangyuan, are you going to look for other women outside like Dad?"