Xinyiwu: Originally

Chapter 51 Actually You Love Me

Su Yunjin was struggling to walk in the endless desert. The scorching sun made her feel as if she would be reduced to ashes in a second.She was very thirsty and her head hurt, she almost didn't want to go any further, she would rather become a cactus in the gravel.But there was something vaguely calling her in front of her, so she had to keep walking, keep walking, and then gradually dried up...

"Cheng Zheng...give me water..." She mumbled unconsciously in her dream, and then woke up slowly, and when she regained half of her consciousness, she began to smile wryly, touching her chapped lips, causing a sharp pain.She was confused again, it was no longer the days when the two of them were rubbing each other's ears, how could there be that person beside him who was pouring water for her?It's just that the words came out so naturally - so naturally that she mistakenly thought that he was still lying beside her when she opened her eyes, carelessly putting his feet on her body.Just when she supported her dizzy head and wanted to get up to find water, a cold glass was thrust into her hand mercilessly.

"You're like the Empress Dowager Cixi, who knows how to enslave people as soon as she wakes up from sleep." Such kind words can only come from someone's mouth.Su Yunjin stared at Cheng Zheng for a few seconds, and her consciousness played back in her mind like a slow motion.Yes, in the hospital, she and her uncle had just sent her mother away.After the nurse pushed her mother away, she kept squatting there.Then he came, and he said: "Cry, Yunjin." She actually cried like this in his arms until she couldn't cry any more, and the sadness of losing her loved one returned to her heart again.

The man standing by the bed was stared at by her, and she couldn't help feeling a little uncomfortable, "Your brain is burned out, look... watch me do... why?"

Su Yunjin inadvertently laughed at Cheng Zheng's sudden stuttering, and looked around the room, "Where is this?"

"My house." He answered very naturally.

"Which one is yours?" Su Yunjin frowned slightly.

Cheng Zheng looked at the ceiling, "I'm not an adopted child, I only have one parent, one family."

Su Yunjin's reaction was to turn over and get out of bed immediately, regardless of her powerlessness.

"There are no ghosts in my house, why are you so scared." Cheng Zheng held her down angrily.

Su Yunjin sighed, "I have to go to the hospital, my mother just passed away, and there are a lot of things waiting to be done... By the way... Where is my uncle?"

"It took me a whole day to think about your mother. If I was really waiting for you, it would be too late. Don't worry, the earth will turn without you. Your uncle has already settled the procedures in the hospital. As for you Mom...according to your uncle's wishes, the crematorium in the provincial capital will be cremated first, and the rest will be handled when we return to the county together."

I don't know if it was because of the consideration of her mother's loss, when he said the next few words, his tone was much softer.

Su Yunjin lowered her head, it turned out that she had slept for so long.When I woke up, my mother was really separated from her forever.

"Where is uncle now?" she asked.

"I'm going back first. You have been suffering from a high fever, and you have been lying in the hospital for a long time. I saw that you are fine, but you have been in a daze. I will take you back to my house to rest first."

Su Yunjin stroked her hair with her hands, "Oh, that's it, thank you, I think I'd better go back first, it's not good for your parents to come back and see."

Cheng Zheng's tone suddenly became somewhat displeased, "I'm not afraid, what are you afraid of, it's not like you haven't seen my parents before, will they eat you?" Seeing that Su Yunjin was silent, he insisted on getting up to look for shoes, and then Reluctantly added, "They're not at home anyway."

"But I still have to go back as soon as possible. Uncle is already very tired. I can't push everything to him." Su Yunjin tried not to let Cheng Zheng misunderstand her meaning.

"Someone will take care of it for him."

"Who could it be? My sister is still in school..."

"You are a hard worker! Then you have to eat before leaving, and I will take you back." His tone could not be refuted.

Su Yunjin stopped fighting with him and got up from the bed. She was really hungry, so there was no need to compete with her body.In the process of getting up, she took a careful look at the whole room. It was the first time she had known him for so long, and it was her first time here.One could tell it was a male's living space, the furnishings were not complicated, and it was fairly clean, but it was definitely not his credit.

Speaking of it, Cheng Zheng is a very simple person, he is not as extravagant as ordinary children from rich families, as long as he maintains the most basic comfort, the rest is not very demanding, so in their original dwelling, the two of them also had A blissful time.Cheng Zheng handed her the medicine, and she silently swallowed it with the glass of water just now, and followed him out of the room.There were already meals and bowls and chopsticks in the dining room, Cheng Zheng sat down first, and emphasized: "Let me tell you first, Aunt Chen has returned to her hometown, and the food is a takeaway ordered downstairs, so you can just eat it."

Su Yunjin was not as picky about food as he was, so she just nodded slightly when she heard it, and sat across from him, picking up the bowls and chopsticks.The memory of the two of them eating face to face alone was as far away as in the previous life, and she was surprised to find that there was actually a plate of vegetarian fried bitter gourd on the table.

"Don't you hate eating this the most?"

"Eating once in a while is good for your health." Cheng Zheng was a little embarrassed, "Besides, what you hated before, can't you like it now?"

Su Yunjin put a piece of bitter gourd in her mouth and chewed it. The taste of this bitter gourd was weirder than anything she had ever tasted. In fact, you love me is not only bitter, but also salty.She swallowed it forcefully, feeling that it was wrong, and took another bite, making sure that it wasn't her emotions that affected her sense of taste.She wanted to say something, but she didn't say anything after all, she stretched out her chopsticks to another plate of something she didn't know what it was, chewed it a few times, and quickly filled a bowl of soup for herself, just took a sip, this time she didn't hold back , could only sigh, put down the tableware, and looked at Cheng Zheng, but this guy didn't move at all, and focused on her with a strange expression.

"Cheng Zheng, where did you order takeaway?"

"The 'Shudi Renjia' opened by the people from Sichuan downstairs, is it alright?" He answered quickly, obviously anticipating her question. "Have you ever offended their boss or chef?"

"I'm not sick. Why, isn't it delicious?"

"Tasty." It was rare for Su Yunjin to be so straightforward. She watched Cheng Zheng take a bite, and then cursed in a low voice.

"Can I understand that you are the chef of the 'Shu family'?" Su Yunjin said as if nothing had happened.

Cheng Zheng's face immediately turned red, and he quickly put down the chopsticks, then took the bowl from her hand, and said hastily, "Forget it's unpalatable, I'll go downstairs to buy it." key.

Su Yunjin looked at his panicked back, and said in a low voice, "Cheng Zheng, why are you doing this?"

His back froze, "I like it."

Su Yunjin also stood up, "Actually, although the food is a bit unpalatable, I am very happy. This is the first time I have eaten food cooked by you."

Cheng Zheng turned around slowly, not forgetting to explain: "Actually, it's all because of the recipe. I swear that I strictly followed the procedures and steps..."

"Are there any materials in the kitchen? Let me do it."

He pointed to the kitchen and nodded hurriedly.

Su Yunjin stood at the door of the kitchen, staring dumbfounded at the messy kitchen, "Are you sure this is a scene that one person can make? Is it really okay to make your kitchen like this?"

Cheng Zheng said boldly, "I practiced it a few times."

Su Yunjin was busy in the kitchen, Cheng Zheng leaned on the door frame and looked at her without saying a word.Old memories came back little by little.They quarreled over housework many times. He never thought it was an insignificant matter, but since she left, he always wanted to cook her a meal with his own hands when they met again, and watch her eat contentedly.Over the years, he only learned one dish of stir-fried bitter gourd. At first, he still resisted the taste. Thinking of her, slowly, the bitterness in his mouth returned to sweetness.I didn't expect that this time because I was too nervous, I put salt twice in the best dish.Su Yunjin cracked the eggs into the pot, and felt a pair of hands wrapped around her waist soundlessly, and then his breath, hot behind her.

"Let go, Cheng Zheng."

"impossible."

Su Yunjin was silent.It seems that they have been repeating these two sentences since they met:

——Cheng Zheng, let go.

——I won't let go.

But when he really let go, she hurt more than anything else.

"No matter what reason you use, I will never let go." His voice came from her shoulder, muffled.

"If you don't let go, the eggs will be burnt. Aren't you hungry?" Su Yunjin smiled helplessly.

"Of course I'm hungry, but what I want to eat is not eggs." His vague voice came from the hollow of her neck.

"Don't do that." She turned her head slightly.

Cheng Zheng murmured in confusion: "Why can't it be like this, you still don't want me?"

Su Yunjin turned off the fire, put down the frying pan in her hand, and turned to face him, "When did you learn how to play chess?"

"After you're gone." He was very frank this time, "I want to experience what it's like to sit in front of the chessboard."

"What do you feel?"

"It's boring, but at least it can cultivate my patience. Don't you think I've changed?"

"I don't think so." Su Yunjin looked at the sad Cheng Zheng, and said hesitantly, "Why do you want to change?"

A person who never cooks insists on making a table of dishes, but there are things he least likes to eat in them, and he also learns Go, trying to change his temper... He doesn't have to embarrass himself like this.

Cheng Zheng moved his hands around her, and it took a while before he replied, "I think I might not be good enough before."

It's not easy to change an adult's personality. He was born with a quick temper, a tough personality, and a bad mouth, and he still does this until now, but he had the idea of ​​changing, which Su Yunjin had never thought of.

In fact, she is also the same. Over the past four years, she has also tried to learn to be open-minded and tolerant, to be less serious and less sensitive, and to let go of her guard in front of worthy people.Perhaps their changes were not very successful, but after all, a separation four years ago taught them to examine themselves.

"You haven't told me why you and Zheng Xiaotong broke up?" Su Yunjin asked with a smile.

"Here we go again." Cheng Zheng seemed very unwilling to discuss this issue.

"Could it be that you have something to hide?"

"You know best." Cheng Zheng took a gentle bite on the back of her neck.

Su Yunjin trembled slightly.

"Actually, I really have nothing to do with her. Don't think too much about it."

"They're both male and female friends, so it's not surprising. I didn't think about anything." Su Yunjin bit her lower lip, and couldn't help asking: "Haven't you thought about it?"

Cheng Zheng turned her around to face him, and said honestly, "Of course I thought about it."

"Then why not?"

"Every time I think about..., the thought pops up that maybe you'll be back tomorrow. You're a cheapskate, and I can't let you catch me. Then, tomorrow after tomorrow, you don't come back , she doesn't want me now."

"It deserves it!" Su Yunjin buried her face in his chest, teasing him, but her eyes turned red.

Cheng Zheng's hand took the opportunity to touch his clothes, "So you should make it up to me."

In the end, Su Yunjin forgot how the two of them rolled onto the bed. She only remembered that when Cheng Zheng was standing in front of her with his upper body naked, she reached out and touched the pendant on his chest. The soft light of the aquamarine burned her eyes. .

"So it's here with you..."

Cheng Zheng pressed her hand to his chest, "You said you wouldn't let it go, so don't lie to me again."

Perhaps because he was too impatient, Cheng Zheng made Su Yunjin a little hurt.In the early years, she had a hard time accepting his simple and rude attitude in this regard. When the two of them were together, she was more enduring rather than enjoying it. Cheng Zheng's endless enjoyment of it became exhausting for her.However, in those days without him, she missed the heat on his body more than once, and filled it most directly. Every time she pulled away was an endless emptiness, so when the two of them met again, they were sighing at each other, even in pain. All joy.

Cheng Zheng's actions seemed to embed Su Yunjin into his soul, he almost thought that this scene would only appear in dreams forever.Unexpectedly, the "tomorrow" he had been waiting for would really come. Seeing her slightly frowning expression, he felt that all his depression had been compensated.

"Yun Jin, do you like it?" She heard him panting.

Su Yunjin understood Cheng Zheng's way, if she nodded, he would intensify; if she shook her head, he would try his best to get her to nod.The chain pendant around his neck was hanging down, and with his movements violently swaying, Su Yunjin was tossing and turning restlessly, and he had to force out an answer. When he asked more and more urgently, she bowed slightly and embraced his eyes. Aquamarine pendant.Cheng Zheng moaned briefly, and at the most extreme moment, he kissed her, and then said on her lips.

"Actually, you love me."

After the passion was over, the two hugged each other quietly until the sweat slowly dissipated. Su Yunjin pushed the person next to her, "Cheng Zheng, are you asleep?"

Cheng Zheng gave a vague "hmm".

"Let's talk."

They have known each other for 11 years and have shared all the most intimate firsts between men and women, but the number of times they have calmed down and talked seriously is only a handful.They love each other, but never ask what the other wants.

"I'm a very bad person. I always think that I know what I want, but in the end I find that I'm all wrong. The more I care about you, the more afraid I am. I dare not let you know, and I have to lie to myself that you are not that important. I was worried that it would be painful when I lost it, but I didn’t expect that the more this happened, the more I would lose you, and the more painful it would be.” Su Yunjin leaned on Cheng Zheng’s arm and said, “When the child was just gone, I was lying on the hospital bed, and the only feeling was Hate you, because I don't know who to blame, I always feel that I must find a stronger feeling to replace the despair. So I swear, I will never wait for you again, I will forget you. But when I see you again You, I started to forget my oath, you see, the punishment is coming, I can't keep any important people around me."

Cheng Zheng raised his head and looked at her, "What nonsense! If I made you break your oath, it would be punishment for me. You said that you can't keep anyone around you, unless I die too. I said We will never be separated again."

"We also said four years ago that we would not be separated, and the result? You also feel that you can't go on. Will one day in the future, you find that I still hate me as before, and we will go back to the old way."

"It used to be because you never gave me the security of love. From the first time I saw you, I have been chasing you and you have been running away. I am too nervous and you are too sensitive. I don't know how to treat you Good." He turned over and looked at her, "I'm stupid, my love needs a guarantee, but now I know."

Su Yunjin stroked the pendant around his neck, "You are not worth it, I may not be a complete woman." But Cheng Zheng deliberately looked her up and down, "Where there is incompleteness, I think there is everything that should be there." Seeing that Su Yunjin didn't smile, he realized that the joke wasn't funny, so he said, "The doctor didn't say there was no chance at all. At worst, let's try a few more times. I still have confidence in myself."

"You think beautiful!"

"It doesn't matter even if we don't have children. When we grow old, we will depend on each other and be a loving pair of 'five guarantees'." He buried his head greedily in front of her chest, "Just treat me as your child, then you will be happy." You can only love me."

Su Yunjin was amused by him, "Then why don't you call me mom?"

"Little mother, I'm hungry."

After exhausting his energy, Cheng Zheng fell into a deep sleep, until he felt his face being squeezed by both hands, and woke up in pain. He instinctively thought it was Su Yunjin, turned over and wanted to hug her, muttering: "Pinch me again!" Bite you."

His hands fell on the bed sheet empty-handed, and then his ears hurt, and he heard his mother's voice saying: "You damn child, you finally came back, what daydreams are you doing in broad daylight, and you dare to bite your mother? Cheng Zheng bounced up quickly, and saw his mother Zhang Jinyin standing in front of the bed wringing his ears, and there was no shadow of Su Yunjin beside her.He pushed away his mother's hand with a bang, pulled up the quilt to cover his naked body, blushed and said in embarrassment: "How can you come in without knocking like this!"

Zhang Jinyin sneered, "You don't even know that the door is about to be torn down, and you still cover it? I haven't seen anything on you. Tell me, why are you taking off your clothes and sleeping alone at home in broad daylight?"

Only then did Cheng Zheng feel relieved. It seemed that his mother didn't see Su Yunjin, so he didn't care. If she encountered such a situation, he didn't know how embarrassing it would be.

"I'm hot, so you don't care about taking off my clothes?" He didn't care about it, and started to play tricks.

Zhang Jinyin pursed her lips and walked out, "It's winter, no matter how hot it is, you don't have to sleep naked."

Cheng Zheng checked the time while getting dressed, he slept for about three hours, where would she go?Why did you leave without saying a word when you came home?When he was buttoning his clothes, he felt that something was missing. When he lowered his head, the aquamarine earrings that had accompanied him for four years were gone.

(End of this chapter)