female sexual motivation

Chapter 23 A Woman's Curiosity (2)
Do people of different races or nationalities behave differently in bed?In this regard, obviously everyone has a stereotyped view, but the basis is only movies, romance novels or folklore.So far, no one has done a scientific investigation of the sexual ability of people of different races.Even people of the same race have different views on marriage and love, and have different sexual abilities, just like women have different sexual preferences.However, people of different races have different appearances, different accents, and different tastes due to different eating habits, so they will give people a sense of novelty, and novelty can arouse strong sexual desires.

When it comes to novelty, the gender of a sexual partner counts as well.A number of surveys have found that the gender of a sexual partner affects the degree of sexual satisfaction, and it is easier for women to reach orgasm when they have sex.This can be explained from the following aspects.First, sex between a man and a woman is usually intercourse, and intercourse is not the best way to get a woman to orgasm.Second, among heterosexual couples, men's sexual desire is generally stronger than women's, so women often have sex in order to cater to each other.Lesbian couples generally don't have this problem.Sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson compared the sexual knowledge of gay and heterosexual couples and found that women know better how to please their own sex, and women understand women's bodies.Sexually experienced women know how to stimulate the bodies of their own sex.Masters and Johnson call this "same-sex resonance."

After all, what women are most curious about is the size of a man's penis, and whether the size will affect pleasure:

The one I had the first relationship with was really delicate, I guess there is no one smaller than him.But the second one I met was very majestic.I want to try different sexual experiences.

—Heterosexual female, 22 years old

I have a guy friend who I have no feelings for and we don't have much in common, but overall he's nice.One night, around 3 a.m., we were sitting around in my room, bored.He started stroking my head and neck - my high point, and then things got out of hand.I never thought about having sex with him, but he kept telling me his oversized dick was ruining his sex life, it was too big for women.This piqued my curiosity, and I wanted to see what it looked like.Oddly enough, the people I've had sex with have all been medium sized (once extra small).Really, really big, I've only seen ones that big in porn, about 9 inches long and 3 inches in diameter.I finally understand why some people get scared off.I was like, what the hell, let's go!It took a lot of effort to insert it, and when it got in, it got stuck and couldn't move at all.It was probably my worst sexual experience ever.

—Heterosexual female, 24 years old

At 9 inches long and 3 inches thick, it is truly oversized.According to several surveys, the average length of a male penis is 5 to 6 inches when it is erect, and 3 to 4 inches when it is flaccid.Contrary to what ordinary people think, there is no necessary relationship between penis size and height.According to a survey conducted by Masters and Johnson, the longest penis of the 300 men interviewed was 5.5 inches when flaccid (about the size of a grilled sausage), the shortest for a man who is only 5.7 feet tall It's 2.25 inches (about the same size as a breakfast sausage), but the owner is tall and mighty, a full 5.11 feet tall.If a woman likes a penis poking her cervix, size matters because only a penis up to 5 or 6 inches long can penetrate the vagina and touch the cervix when a woman is sexually aroused.

When people gossip about a man's dick, the main thing they gossip about is length.But thickness may be a bigger determinant of whether a partner is "good enough" than length, according to a survey.Russell Elsenman, a psychologist at the University of Texas at Austin, and his colleagues surveyed 50 sexually active female college students and found that 45 women believed that the thickness of male genitalia is more important to sexual pleasure, and 5 women believed that the length More importantly, no one said it was indistinguishable.A larger penis can better stimulate the clitoris and vaginal opening—the most sensitive part of the vagina—during intercourse.

pass test
Some interviewed women mentioned that going to bed can be regarded as a "pass test", to see how well the other party is in bed and whether they can satisfy themselves:
I think this is a necessary process of emotion.If we had sex naturally after a few dates, then I'd like to know how he's doing in bed.If it's not good, then I probably won't continue.If it is good, then it will be considered to continue.

—Heterosexual female, 23 years old

Before I formally establish a relationship, I first take a look at the other person's sex in bed.My experience with this has generally been relatively smooth.For example, my current boyfriend and I just go to bed first and then talk about our relationship.Because before deciding how to get along with him I want to know if we will have more harmonious sex.I felt like we were a good match and the next step was to test him in bed.

— Bisexual female, 24 years old

A woman had sex with someone else before marriage because she wanted to make sure her fiancé was as good in bed as anyone else:

My boyfriend and I started talking about getting married, and then I kind of backed off.I thought to myself, is our sex good enough?To give myself an answer, I found and had sex with a guy who I guess was good in bed.

—Heterosexual female, 20 years old

This kind of test obviously violates the traditional concept that women should be chaste before marriage, but it proves an ironclad fact-sex is extremely important in a woman's emotional life, and women cannot continue to have feelings without sex.In the survey, we found that young women are especially keen on this kind of sex pass test, generally in their 30s and [-]s.But studies have found that sex has always been integral to a woman's lifelong relationship.

美国国家家庭民意调查公司对745位45岁以上的美国妇女做了一项调查，结果发现45至59岁的妇女中有一半以上的人认为和谐的性爱是生活质量的重要保证。美国国家老龄委员会对60岁以上的美国妇女进行的调查也得出了类似的结果。在性活跃的妇女中，三分之二的人认为频繁而和谐的性生活是爱情的重要保证。

Practice makes perfect
My main purpose in sex is to gain experience, I believe there is always room for improvement, and I think sex skills are important.As a woman, I don't want to be "the dead fish in the bed".I want to be actively involved, and I want to make us happy for each other.This will make the love between two people more perfect.

—Heterosexual female, 20 years old

Many interviewed women, especially young women, talked about improving their bed skills in order to accumulate sexual experience.Some people will be ridiculed if they have no experience in bed:

The main reason I had sex for the first time was that I was 19 and felt like I should "learn" how to have sex... so I got a guy who was very old to give me my virginity, and I didn't care about the guy at all, I cared that he could teach Give me a little experience.Just to clarify: I'm not trying to get rid of being a virgin, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a virgin.I just thought that people my age should understand the things between adults, so I did what I thought I should do.

—Heterosexual female, 23 years old

At 14 I was so worried about my sucking blowjob technique.I've never given someone a blowjob, but I want to gain some experience before I meet someone I like--I don't want to disappoint someone I like.In the dead of night, my friends and I often went to the parking lot to watch the boys perform their driving skills, and flirt with them from time to time.One night, one of the boys asked me if I would undress for one of his friends to make his friend happy.I laughed and he gave me $5.When I left, I said, "I can do more," and walked away.I was about a block away when one of the boys came up to me and asked me if I would pay him $5 for blowjobs.That was what I wanted, I agreed, but I told him I wouldn't swallow sperm.He said what if the price is higher?I still disagree.I ended up giving a blowjob to a friend in his backyard and it was so embarrassing that I felt sick and almost threw up.I felt helpless at the time.After he left, I felt very shameful, as if I had betrayed my self-esteem.But after a day or two I was fine.

—Straight Plus Other, 19

One woman interviewed said that accumulating sexual experience is to have a perfect wedding night:

The reason I decided to have premarital sex was because I didn't want to be ham-fisted after marriage.It can be very embarrassing or self-conscious to be overwhelmed in bed, especially when one partner is experienced and the other is a virgin... When you get married, everyone feels a lot of pressure to be perfect and of course want to have A "perfect" wedding night.

—Heterosexual female, 20 years old

Most women have sex to improve themselves, because they believe that being skilled can make sex more enjoyable-not only for their partners, but also for themselves:
I have sex with my boyfriend to improve my game.Every time I have sex is an opportunity for me to improve and I hope to make our sex life better and better.

—Heterosexual female, 20 years old

Sex studies have shown that the more sexually experienced a woman is, the easier it is to achieve orgasm.The reason is simple: the more you have sex, the more opportunities you have to explore your body, and over time you will know how to orgasm.As the saying goes, "A woman is like a wolf at thirty", which fully demonstrates the importance of sexual experience.Alfred Kinsey's classic sexology lectures in the early 20s also exemplify the importance of sexual experience.Kinsey points out that women are most likely to orgasm from sexual activity (including intercourse and masturbation) around the age of 50.A recent survey of 30 Canadian and American women of various ages found that the peak sex life generally occurs between the ages of 1414 and 30.Women in this age group were more likely than women of any other age to describe themselves as "nympho", "attractive" or "sexually active".In North America, women in their 34s typically have multiple sexual experiences and multiple sexual partners.According to a survey, among women in their 30s, about 30% have had 18-5 sexual partners since the age of 10, and a little over 25% have had more than 25 sexual partners.In contrast, among women in their 10s, only 20% have 5-10 sexual partners, and 15/1 have only had one sexual partner.In short, women in their 3s have enough sexual experience to know how to enjoy sex.And they're more confident than women in their teens or twenties.Confident women are better at expressing their sexual needs to their partners.

(End of this chapter)