female sexual motivation

Chapter 25 Love Trading (1)
Narrow and broad sexual value

This skirt is for sale, but I am not for sale.

——Diana, "Secret Deal" (1993)
In September 2008, 9-year-old Natalie Dylan decided to pursue a master's degree in marriage and family therapy, but tuition became a big problem.She pondered over what to do, and even thought of becoming a prostitute like her sister (who earned all her tuition in just three weeks).In the end, she decided to auction off her first night, on the one hand to raise tuition fees, and on the other hand to investigate the sexual value of women.There were 22 bidders in five months, and the highest bid was close to $5 million.Dylan, who has attracted worldwide attention for her first-night auction, said in an interview: "I think both parties can benefit from this transaction."

Stephanie Gershon is an American college student who wanted to go to the Amazon rainforest in Brazil before school started, but unfortunately she did not find a suitable guide.When she was frowning, the waiter at the resort showed her kindness frequently, so she chatted with him and asked him if a tourist like her could live alone in the tropical jungle for a few weeks. "He laughed and said I was crazy," Gershon said.When Gershon discovers that he knows all about bush life and is a native bushman, she begins to return his attentions and flirts with him appropriately, even though she doesn't like him at heart.Gershon asked him to be a jungle guide.She successfully seduced the waiter, and he managed to turn down the job, and the two headed for the jungle:
That trip was amazing.We built houses with palm leaves, and I saw all kinds of strange animals.I learned from him the medicinal properties of different plants, we ate wild fruits from trees, swam with piranhas in the water, and ate piranhas when we were hungry.And, of course, sex...for almost two weeks.All in all it was a good deal, I wanted to experience the jungle life and he wanted to have sex with beautiful American girls.

For Gershon, this kind of transaction is not sordid, what she exchanged for her body was an unforgettable jungle memory.

You might think the Natalie Dylan-Stephanie Gershon deal is risqué, but a recent survey of 475 University of Michigan students suggests that some women do use their bodies as bargaining chips.Although the University of Michigan is a prestigious school, and students generally come from wealthier families, 9 percent of female students said they had sold their bodies for some kind of profit.18% of them are with their boyfriends, but the vast majority (82%) are men who have no relationship with them.You will learn later in this chapter that some women sell their bodies because they are struggling to earn a living, but these female college students obviously live a pampered life.As the survey's authors put it: "It's more about satisfying one's own wants than satisfying one's own needs, unless you think everyone needs a $200 Louis Vuitton bag."

Our research shows that there are plenty of women who sell their bodies like the Michigan girls.The reasons they gave were:
I want a raise.

I want to work.

I want a promotion.

Someone give me money.

I want to make money.

Someone gave me drugs.

The sex trade is not exclusive to Americans, and the trade of gifts and sex is common in all cultures.Anthropologist Donna Simmons decided to analyze this phenomenon from a cross-cultural perspective.Using the Regional Archives of Human Relations, the largest ethnographic archive, he catalogs gifts exchanged during courtship or extramarital affairs, analyzing: whether the gift was given by a man or a woman, or by both; Whether it was for love or sex; the relative value of the gift.Gifts are divided into the following categories: 1) only men give gifts; 2) men and women give each other gifts, but the man's gift is more expensive; Never reciprocal); 3) Men and women give gifts to each other, but women's gifts are more expensive; 4) Only women give gifts.Simmons excluded gifts between husband and wife and gifts to prostitutes.

To Simmons' surprise, the fourth and fifth categories are completely unnecessary, since no country or region falls into them.In contrast, 79% of the regions belong to the first category, where only men give gifts; 5% of the regions belong to the second category, where men and women give gifts to each other, but the men’s gifts are more expensive; the remaining 16% belong to the third category, which also It means that men and women give gifts to each other, but the preciousness of the gifts is not mentioned.This is as one heterosexual woman said, "sex is equal to a gift".

In a society that promotes gender equality, sexual freedom, and sexual openness, it is very interesting that this kind of inequality still exists between men and women.Anthropologist Marshall Sahlins' research on the Trobris Islanders explains this well.The women of the Trobris Islands would only give their bodies if they received a gift:

During the whole relationship, the man should continue to present small gifts to the woman.For the local islanders, it is natural for men to do this, because in their culture, women are providing services to men, whether they are in love with each other or not... There is no logic at all.Local women enjoy full freedom. They are equal to men and have the same sexual desires as men. Therefore, it is unfair to ask men to give gifts blindly.But this is a custom, people think that women are serving men, so men have to pay for their services.

This passage, along with many other findings, highlights a basic fact of human economics: women dominate their bodies, men desire women's bodies, so women's bodies are a form of capital.In short, in all sex trades, the women have the upper hand.

In traditional hunter-gatherer societies, men traded food for sex.For example, the Saranawa people living in Peru, "Men show their masculinity through hunting, and they need to use prey to impress women, that is, exchange meat for sex."Janet Siskind, an anthropologist who studies the Saranawa people, said that this is incomprehensible because "there is no evidence that women are less sexual than men or like meat more than men".But the words of one interviewed woman sound equally plausible:
Getting a "gift" or money from a rich man is as exciting as snuggling with a big man.Monetary protection equals physical protection.

—Heterosexual female, 58 years old

The question is not whether men and women are equally interested in sex (let alone meat), but why women always dominate the sex trade.

Golden egg
Perhaps the most reasonable explanation for why women are superior in love, why women's bodies are so precious, and why men are willing to give generously to women is that the reproductive systems of men and women are different, which leads to differences in sexual psychology.

We've talked before about women being less biologically willing to have multiple sexual partners than men.But the physiological difference between men and women starts with the difference between sperm and egg.Sperm is just a gene that swims 1/1 inch per minute, and its volume is far from that of a nutrient-rich egg. Sperm is generally only 8 microns wide and 3 microns long. 6-120 microns long.This proves that from the moment of conception, women contribute more than men.In addition, a woman ovulates a fixed number of eggs throughout her life, while a man produces almost 150 million sperm per day.So eggs are more precious than sperm, look at the compensation women get for donating eggs and the compensation men get for donating sperm.The starting price of donating eggs is 8500 US dollars, and if the donor is physically and psychologically qualified, the remuneration will be multiplied several times.Generally speaking, the remuneration for sperm donation is 5000 US dollars. If the conditions are excellent, such as tall, inverted triangle figure, handsome, high IQ, and high social status, then the remuneration may increase to 35 US dollars.

Women need to go through ten months of pregnancy to give birth to children. Women bear the heavy responsibility of carrying on the family line and are an important resource for human reproduction.Generally speaking, the more important the resource, the more snatchers.That is to say, women are resources and men are competitors.Since women are in high demand, they naturally have the right to pick and choose.

Evolutionary psychologists offer several explanations for female dominance.The first explanation is related to men's sex psychology. Men like short-term, low-cost sex.Because the more sexual partners, the greater the probability of having offspring, so men are always looking for a mate.This kind of fiddling is manifested in their sexual fantasies. Men prefer to fantasize about having sex with strangers and multiple sexual partners, and they are also willing to fantasize about exchanging spouses.Men are more likely than women to fantasize about having sex with 1000 different people four to one.But this does not rule out the possibility of bias, because traditional ideas believe that women should be reserved and should not tell others about their sexual preferences without reservation.Despite this, numerous studies have shown that there are huge differences in the degree of love between the sexes.It is precisely because men are bothersome, so in their view, women are always in short supply.

Men also have a psychological characteristic, that is, sexual cognitive bias, that is, over-interpreting women's ambiguous signals, and it can also be said that they are easy to be passionate.When we talked about jealousy in Chapter 5, we mentioned that a simple smile is enough to impress a man. In fact, her smile may be just out of friendliness or politeness.Other signals that are likely to cause misunderstandings for men include touching arms, standing close, and looking at each other for a little longer.As a result, women can use this psychology of men to satisfy their own desires. This is called the "bait and switch" strategy, which is to make men mistakenly believe that they are interested, induce men to make various efforts, and leave once they achieve their goals.

Studies have found that most men think most women are more or less sexy, but most women think most men are not sexy.The Bath Evolutionary Psychology Laboratory found that men are less demanding of temporary sex friends.Experience has proved that as long as a woman meets a man's requirements for a sexual partner, such as being smart and kind, men are willing to sleep with them.In contrast, women's requirements for sexual partners will not be lowered casually. Whether they choose temporary friends with benefits or long-term lovers, their requirements are very high.

Gender differences in sexual arousal and sexual signaling also give women an advantage in the sex trade.Men are visual animals. Heterosexual men may be sexually aroused when they see beautiful women, but women are not visual animals, so they are not easy to be sexually aroused.Men seem to be less able to tolerate abstinence, and their libido is consistently higher regardless of changing circumstances.

But it's important to remember that the male desire to "sow seeds" is subconscious.In addition, flirtatiousness is only a characteristic of men, and most men hope for a long-lasting love.But men's sexual psychology makes women's sexual services have always been hot.In modern society, this also gives women the opportunity to realize their sexual value through prostitution, sex trading, and love.

The Economics Behind Prostitution

I worked for three years in a legal brothel in Nevada.I'm not very good at this and the attitude towards guests is very negative.But I kept my job anyway.I don't think it's my "sex life" because it's just work.I have nowhere to go, the sisters in the brothel are like family to me.

—Heterosexual female, 36 years old

We have been discussing women's sexual motives. Since prostitution also involves sex, what we need to analyze here is the sexual psychology that leads women to prostitution.The ancients said, laugh at the poor but not at the prostitute.Therefore, we must first have an objective attitude, and then talk about the political and moral issues behind prostitution, because prostitution has always been restricted by law, social morality, and religion.

There is a view that the law should prohibit prostitution and establish corresponding crimes, because prostitution is depravity, and prostitution causes women to be played and abused by men as sex toys or commodities.Some people even think that this is the reason why women cannot dominate politics.These views carry considerable weight because prostitution is illegal in some places, including most states in the United States.However, prostitution is legal in many parts of the world, including most of Europe, Mexico, most of South America, Israel, Australia, New Zealand.Prostitution is also legal in some towns in Nevada, USA.

Even in countries where prostitution and whoring are outlawed, people can find ways to exploit loopholes in the law.For example, prostitution is illegal in Iran, and advertising for prostitution, recruiting prostitutes, and opening brothels are punishable by punishment.Violators were often shot or stoned to death.However, Iranian law allows men to have varying numbers of "temporary wives". This relationship can last from a few hours to several years, and the man needs to provide the woman with monetary subsidies.Prostitution is also illegal in the Philippines, but the waiters at the bar have a rather euphemistic title called "customer relationship manager" and they need to check for sexually transmitted diseases once a week.Prostitution is also banned in Thailand and several other countries, but the law is a dead letter without any enforcement effect.Most countries that allow prostitution have corresponding legal restrictions. For example, England and Scotland prohibit physical transactions on the street, but allow the service of "calling girls to your door", which means that as long as you don't prostitute and whore in public, it is not illegal.In Canada, prostitution, opening a brothel, and calling girls to your door are all legal, but it is illegal to "coerce and entangle" women in the street to engage in prostitution.

The pornography industry has been banned repeatedly and is widespread all over the world. Therefore, some people think that the government should not ban the pornography industry, but should give women the right to freely control their bodies.A former prostitute put it this way:

Women have the right to sell their bodies, just as lawyers have the right to sell their brains to law firms, like artists have the right to sell their talents to museums, like models to photographers, like ballet dancers Sell ​​your dance moves to the audience.Since everyone has the right to enjoy sex, pornography should be legalized, and only the hardcore would think of banning pornography.

Joyce Elders, Surgeon General for President Clinton, agrees: "We all say prostitutes sell their bodies, so what's the difference between that and athletes? They sell their bodies too. What about models? No." Are you also selling your body? What about actors? Isn’t that also selling your body?”

Regardless of what people think about pornography, the most important thing is to understand why women choose this "the oldest industry of mankind".Women have sexual value, and a woman's body is a form of capital that economists call a fungible commodity that can be exchanged for other wealth or money.But why do women choose pornography instead of other industries to realize their sexual value?

slavery and despair

The sex industry mainly affects women, with more than 90% of sex workers worldwide being women and 99% of customers being men.Some girls or women are not willing to be prostitutes, but become sex slaves under the coercion of others.

Sexual human trafficking is particularly rampant in countries such as Myanmar, Pakistan, India, Cambodia, and Thailand.Traffickers use various tricks to abduct decent women, mainly targeting those who are in extreme poverty.The most common tactic is to falsely claim that the victim has found a well-paid job in another city or country, then pay the victim’s parents a sum of money to gain their trust, and then bribe the police and border officials to send the victim Selling to brothels in other places.

(End of this chapter)