female sexual motivation

Chapter 6 How to touch a woman's heart (4)
People who are willing to make jokes generally have keen observation skills, can grasp information in an instant, and can make people around them laugh and amuse with a few words, so that the audience can resonate.Therefore, Robin Williams, Jon Stewart, Ellen DeGeneres, etc., who make people laugh again and again, are very witty and flexible.In addition, humorous people are generally easy-going, playful, and flexible.Playing tricks in public requires high social skills, a calm mind and self-confidence, otherwise bloggers won't make a laugh but will be ridiculed instead.Therefore, people who are naturally timid generally do not laugh and play.The study found that women rated humorous men as sophisticated and confident.

In fact, self-confidence is the most important character trait that attracts women.When sociologist Gerald Cloyd conducted an interview survey in singles bars, a woman interviewed replied: "Some men are very confident, as if everything is under his control, they know how to say hello, they know How to make you feel comfortable. But there are guys who are dumb and clueless and don't understand anything. They start off in high spirits and don't know how to end up awkwardly looking at each other, causing me to have to excuse myself to go to the bathroom or ask a friend to come Get rid of them."

Generally speaking, confidence and humor go hand in hand.

I've been in a relationship with an ugly guy who always made me laugh out loud with a good sense of humor.He is also very confident, maybe because people with humor are more confident.So I was also conquered by his charm.

—Heterosexual female, 29 years old

Confident men also have other advantages. For example, they are generally more affluent.Therefore, self-confidence is also an affirmation of self-worth.Another survey found that only confident men dare to pursue beautiful girls regardless of their looks.On the contrary, for a man with low self-esteem, he is a toad, and a beautiful woman is a swan, which is beyond reach.

The Temptation of "Sexy Son"
I have deliberately approached big bosses, masters, doctors, etc., because I always feel that they are out of reach and superior.They are highly educated, so I thought they must be very intelligent.Why they are the pride of heaven, but I am not, I can't figure it out.So, I approached them and had sex with them.I found out later that they were all ordinary, no different from artisans or factory workers on the main road, they just had more money.

—Heterosexual female, 42 years old

Kissinger famously said: "Power is the most violent aphrodisiac." He also said, "Now if I am impatient and bored at a banquet, they will not only blame me but themselves." Power can make a man sexy.One woman interviewed said:

They're not big hits, but they're fairly famous, mostly rock stars.I don't need a long explanation either, the reason is simple, having sex with a celebrity is the most face-saving... When I say I want to have a song of my own, I guarantee that most girls think the same thing as I do.. Flirty.The songs Maggie May, Julia, Suzy Q, Amy, etc. are good examples.

—Heterosexual female, 28 years old

Women are attached to famous men, because fame is synonymous with status and money - the theme of Chapter 8.In Everlasting, resources are shared.But even if love is short-lived, it can still be touched.Sometimes women submit to powerful men even though they know their relationship is insignificant.Women are still willing to throw their arms around movie stars or famous athletes, even if it's just a one-night or moment-to-moment encounter.

This may be explained by what biologists call "mate-choice mimicry." The concept of "mate-choice mimicry" has been tested in a variety of animals.Whether it is fish or mammals, females are very concerned about the choices of other females when choosing a mate, that is, they tend to choose males who have been "inspected", that is, "the famous flowers with the owner are more fragrant".The more excellent the female, the more it can cause the "mating imitation" effect.The Bass lab believes that the concept of "mate-choice mimicry" applies to humans as well.

The research team showed female participants three types of photos of men: alone, with men, and with women.Likewise, male participants were shown pictures of women in three categories.It turned out that women were more attracted to men surrounded by women than men who were alone or with other men.Moreover, the more charming and enchanting the woman around him, the sexier the man will appear in the eyes of women.This sexual enhancement effect was particularly pronounced when women were asked to rate the sexual attractiveness of men.Interestingly, the opposite is true for men, who prefer women alone or with women, rather than being surrounded by men.

For fish and other animals that do not need "fatherly love", the main purpose of competing for the popular person in the eyes of other females is to obtain good genes.There are two major benefits to having good genes.First of all, the next generation of reproduction is physically strong and has a strong ability to survive.Second, having a so-called "sexy son".Like a father, like a son, if the father is like a star, then the son must also be charming.Therefore, the female's mating imitation is to obtain a "sexy son" and to reproduce better.

It seems plausible to use the "sexy son" hypothesis to explain the phenomenon of human mate selection imitation.Find a man who captivates a woman and has the potential to produce an equally glamorous son.Of course, because the behavior of choosing a mate is subconscious, women will not consider these evolutionary factors when choosing a mate, but simply feel that men who are sought after by women are more sexy.Unlike other species, women can rely on men to climb the social ladder and come back to life.

"Complementary" over "similar"?
There is no doubt that sometimes people fall in love with the exact opposite of themselves.However, when it comes time to really talk about marriage, you will always give priority to choosing someone who "smells like you" with yourself.A comprehensive study found that the husband and wife have many similarities. First of all, they have similar values, such as the same attitude towards beliefs, wars, and politics.Secondly, their own conditions are similar, such as physical health, family conditions, age, ethnicity, religion, education level and other aspects are relatively similar.Lovers or couples are often similar in appearance, and if they are young couples, there is not much difference in weight.Biologists call this the "match hypothesis," and it's so pervasive that people often look at less well-matched couples in a different light.Strangely enough, people take it for granted that beautiful women should match ugly men.Under such circumstances, according to the principle of evolution, it can be concluded that the man must have his merits, such as wealth, talent, and success in his career.

Why are people who are similar to each other attracted to each other?Because it is more reassuring to find a spouse who looks like you, and you don't have to worry about being abandoned.The degree of similarity is the most valued "spousal value", or market value of marriage.No matter men or women, climbing high branches will not end well.Even if you climb a high branch, you have to pay a heavy price-for example, you are worried every day, lest a third party will intervene.

People like a spouse who can resonate with them, because in this way, there will be a sense of pleasure that the heroes see the same thing and have the same heart.The mutual affirmation and agreement of lovers make each other more firm in their beliefs.Therefore, the phoenix and the phoenix sing in harmony, full of affection and sweetness.On the contrary, if you say east and I say west, the violin will not tune.Couples who talk speculatively enjoy themselves happily and have harmonious families, achieving what social psychologists call "balance".If you appreciate each other, but can't agree with each other, then the "balance" will be lost.To achieve "balance," one or both parties try to change their own or the other's point of view.Therefore, it is better to find a lover with a heart-to-heart connection from the beginning.

In short, similarity contributes to emotional stability.Like-minded people can communicate, support and cuddle each other, thus reducing the risk of breaking up.Therefore, although "complementary" people will also attract each other, the main thing in marriage is "like flock together, and people are divided into groups".

he is my dish

As mentioned earlier, from a scientific point of view, why women like men with a certain figure or personality can be explained, but when women's vision is specific to the details, how to explain it?For example, some women like men with brown curly hair, some like men with short black hair, and some like men with bald heads; A man who wakes up.Women also often say "he's not my type".

The famous sexologist John Manny believes that everyone has a template of the dream lover in his heart. In his words, it is a "love map".By following the "Love Map", we can find our ideal lover or "soul mate".Manny believes that the love map begins to take shape as early as when we are children, and that the love map is inextricably linked to what we saw and heard in the early stages of personal growth.If the beautiful blonde at the grocery store next door is amiable and often gives you candy, then you probably like blondes.If your dear dad often tells you funny stories, then you probably have a crush on funny-talking, extroverted people.Old wrinkled bearded doctor who never jokes and sticks you with needles, then you probably hate bearded people, even doctors.In a sense, it is the bits and pieces of our childhood that determine our vision in the future.

Even mice have their own "seeing," as biopsychologist Jim Pfors of Concordia University in Montreal, Canada, has demonstrated.If a female rat has several pleasant sexual experiences with a mate with certain characteristics, she will gradually form her own "vision" for mate selection.Female rats have the ability to embarrass women, that is, they can completely control the male rats they mate with through a series of complex movements.The female mouse is especially happy to control the pace of mating, because that way her brain releases a natural anesthetic—motivation.In experiments, Pfors and his research team mated female mice exclusively with males that smelled of almonds, and the females gradually associated pleasurable sexual experiences with the males that smelled of almonds.After a period of time, the female rats were put in a group of male rats and allowed to choose a mate freely. It turned out that the female rats still picked out the male rats that smelled of almonds.

Some researchers believe that the memory of growing up in adolescence has been deeply engraved in the brain.In reality, it is impossible to find someone who is exactly the same as the lover in your dream, but as long as it matches your "love map" in a certain way, then he or she can open your heart.Through the love map, we not only learned that women have different visions in choosing a mate, but also learned that women will always be stubborn about a certain type of man and never let go.

Women's sex choices are subconscious.They are deeply attracted by the smell of men and their rich voices.But they don't know why some taste so charming and others are disgusting.Women know what kind of man is sexy, but they don't know the mystery of human evolution behind it.Women prefer strong men during ovulation, but at other times they may gravitate towards gentle and elegant men. This just shows women's unparalleled wisdom in choosing a mate, even though they don't know it.

(End of this chapter)