female sexual motivation

Chapter 7 Sex is amazing (1)
Sexual Satisfaction and Orgasm

It was as if an electric current swept through the whole body, a gorgeous and dazzling rainbow flew in front of his eyes, and the melody of galloping horses sounded in his ears.This is the magic of love.

——Anaise Nien (1903-1977)

Women have sex for love, and men love for sex. This saying has been around for decades if not hundreds of years.Is it true?Or folklore?Can this explain why aphrodisiacs like Viagra are only effective for men?Is this because aphrodisiacs can only control a man's body but not a woman's mind?
Needless to say, aphrodisiacs like Viagra are more sexually arousing in men.However, this is not at all because of the rumor that women love for love and men love for sex.Many of the women interviewed talked about the pleasures of having sex in bed:
I've had sex with friends for fun, but we were just friends.If we were talking about feelings, I was only worried that he would use his true feelings.

—Heterosexual female, 27 years old

Sometimes sex even trumps love:

For me, Romance is mainly about having fun.I can't imagine or understand sex without fun.

—Heterosexual female, 36 years old

In fact, when asked why they had intimacy, the top three reasons women responded were "I had a great physical experience" and "It felt good."Coincidentally, the men interviewed also gave the same answer.

So in sex, do men value sex more and women value love more?According to the responses of the women cited in this chapter, the answer is no.Women, regardless of age, derive great pleasure from sex.From foreplay to orgasm, women gain physical and mental pleasure and enjoy loving touch.Why women also love "sex", this chapter will explore the mysteries of women's body and mind.

The Magic of Touching

I've been in a sexless relationship for 13 years.After a breakup, I felt like I needed a loving touch to let me know my heart wasn't dead.Sex brings me joy and gets me refreshed again.

—Heterosexual female, 42 years old

A woman's skin can be said to be the biggest "sex point".Skin is made up of a complex nervous system that senses subtle changes in temperature, touch, texture, and more.Organs or areas of the body that are particularly sensitive to sexual stimulation are called "erogenous zones," also known as "erogenous zones."The most known erogenous zones are neck, earlobes, lips, boobs, genitals, buttocks, inner thighs, anus, back of knees, fingers, toes, etc.Some women have erogenous zones almost all over their body.Touching any part of the body, such as the soft brushing of down on a cheek, the touching of bare skin, or letting or giving someone a massage can be highly arousing.

Sex can bring great pleasure to the body.Simple touch like a massage or a hug can make a person feel happy.Kissing makes warmth flow through the body and is sultry.Finally, it is the feeling of wanting to die that the orgasm brings.So, compared to masturbation, sex is simply beautiful beyond words.

—Heterosexual female, 28 years old

Women's nipples and areolas (the darker pigmented ring of skin around the nipples) are areas where nerve endings gather, so they are very sensitive.After a woman's breast is stroked or massaged, blood can flow into the breast tissue, and the tiny muscle fibers can make the nipple firm.Nipples and areolas become more sensitive, thereby enhancing a woman's sexual pleasure:
Neither of us had a new relationship at the time, and I met him again at the perfect time.. All I remember is his passionate touch.. I was blown away when he entered me.. I asked him if he could come to my house Come sit and sit... I can even feel my pants getting wet, my belly tightens... my nipples harden, and I feel excited every time I rub my clothes... Sex, why not, he must not will refuse.It's as simple and complex as saying "I want you."

—Heterosexual female, 41 years old

Breast sensitivity varies from person to person.Maston Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory conducted a survey, and 82% of female college students interviewed believed that stimulation of nipples or breasts could arouse sexual desire or enhance sexual pleasure.In contrast, just over half of men found nipple stimulation arousing.But for 7% of women (as well as men), stimulation of the nipples not only does not bring pleasure but leads to lack of pleasure.When some women are excited, their nipples become extremely sensitive, and the slightest touch can make them feel uncomfortable or even painful.It also has something to do with the size of the breasts: the smaller the breasts, the more sensitive they are.In addition, the sensitivity of the breasts will also change over time, because the secretion of female hormones varies during menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause.Aging can also lead to a decrease in the sensitivity of a woman's breasts.Generally speaking, women's breasts are more sensitive than men's, because from puberty, women's breasts become much more sensitive than men's.

So is this necessarily related to the sender of the touch?Actually no.Although for some women, only the touching of a lover can bring pleasure, most women can also get pleasure from touching their breasts themselves, and even the spray of water from the shower head or the friction with clothing can make women feel excited.

sexual arousal

Although the skin can be called the biggest "sex point", it is by no means the "focus".When sexually aroused, a series of changes will take place in the female private parts, which makes the female passion burn.

When a woman is sexually aroused, blood flows to the pelvic area, including the vagina, labia, clitoris, urethra, uterus, and even fallopian tubes and ovaries.This pooling of blood caused by sexual arousal is called "genital vascular congestion".When not sexually aroused, a female vagina is similar in size and shape to a cannelloni — unfilled, 4 inches long, with a rough interior wall and parallel folds.When the blood vessels are congested, 2/3 of the vagina is significantly expanded, increasing the space that can accommodate foreign objects.The upper and lower sides of the vagina expand, and the uterus lifts accordingly.This narrows the vaginal opening and reduces the grip on external objects.The labia minora double to triple in thickness due to engorgement, forcing the labia majora farther away from the vaginal opening to allow foreign objects to enter the vagina.As sexual stimulation continues to increase, the clitoris will lengthen, widen, and hide under the labia, reducing the stimulation it receives.

In addition, when the blood vessels are congested, Yin fluid will be secreted in the vagina.Most people think that vaginal fluid is produced by a certain gland in the vagina, but this is not the case.When a woman is sexually aroused, the vaginal tissue engorges with blood, forcing fluid into the vagina.Even when there is no sexual arousal, the fluid will slowly seep into the vagina through the vaginal wall, keeping the vagina moist and preventing the inner walls from sticking together.Therefore, vaginal congestion and vaginal fluid are closely related, both of which are important signs of sexual arousal.Some researchers have tried a sexual arousal test. The test process is as follows: female participants use a tampon swab when they are not sexually aroused, and then remove and measure the tampon swab after successful sexual arousal.The heavier the tampon, the more liquid it absorbs.It's a pity that although this method is brilliant, it is not accurate.Determining whether a woman is sexually aroused is done in a laboratory with the help of a detector called a "vaginal photoplethysmography."The detector looks like a clear plastic sanitary stick with a light-sensitive sensor inside, which can judge the amount of congestion based on the intensity of light reflected from the vaginal wall.

Women experience "fullness," "tension," or "throbbing" in the pelvic area when the blood vessels in the genitals become engorged.The body began to feel dry and hot, and the spirit was particularly excited.At this moment, women will have an unstoppable sexual impulse, just like the itching of the skin, which must be scratched.This natural physiological response not only makes women happy physically and mentally, but also sends a strong message of desire, which makes the experience of sexual excitement more wanton and ecstasy.But even without sexual arousal, some women are still able to generate sexual desire and get sexual satisfaction.This shows that women's physiology and spirit can be "separated".

In other words, a woman's mental sexual arousal does not depend on her physical sexual arousal, so aphrodisiacs such as Viagra can make men erect, but they can't do anything for women, even though the male and female genital tissues are almost the same. Composed of a network of tiny blood vessels surrounded by muscles (sex muscles).When the blood vessels are congested, the male penis becomes erect and the female clitoris expands.In order to congest the blood vessels, the sex muscles must first remain in a relaxed state.The principle of action of drugs such as Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis is to keep the sex muscles relaxed for a long time, so that blood has enough time to flow to the blood vessels.Many studies have proved that women taking Viagra can also increase blood vessel congestion.Some herbal formulas such as ephedrine, yohimbine plus L-arginine-glutamate, ginkgo biloba extract, etc. will also have the same effect on women.

When sexual excitement, if what women feel is a slowly burning flame, then men feel a raging flame.Why is there such a big difference?One idea is that this is because men are more "close" or familiar with their genitals.It makes sense, no matter from the perspective of physiological structure or daily life.First, from an anatomical point of view, the male penis is large and undisguised, especially when erect.Secondly, from the perspective of daily life, the male penis also has the function of urination, so at a very young age, boys learn to touch and hold the "little brother" with their hands when going to the toilet.On the contrary, the education that girls receive is, "Don't touch it", as if there is a danger zone on the body.As a result, many women live their lives without knowing their anatomy.Some researchers speculate that it is precisely because of this gender difference that women masturbate later than men, and the frequency is much lower than that of men, and women masturbate much less than men.According to the survey, after fifty years, this gender gap still exists.For example, a survey conducted in the 20s found that 80 percent of men and 25 percent of women had masturbated before the age of 93.Surprisingly, this data result is almost identical to the data obtained by Alfred Kinsey and colleagues 48 years ago.Maston's laboratory conducted a survey among college students and found that 20% of white men and 85% of Asian men have masturbation habits. In contrast, women with masturbation habits are significantly less, 74% of white women, Only 59% of women.The difference between men and women is that one is naked and the other is secret.Perhaps the male genitalia has been dubbed various and dazzling nicknames because of its "high exposure rate".

Explore the mysterious "G-spot"

As I said before, women's sexual preferences vary widely, so women also have very different interests in foreign objects that enter their bodies, whether it's a penis, fingers, tongue, speculum, massager, dildo, or whatever.In fact, the nerve endings of the vagina are all concentrated in the anterior wall of the vagina near the vaginal opening.That is, the area is highly sensitive, able to feel the slightest touch.There are also sensitive spots inside the vagina, but greater force is needed to stimulate them.This physiological structure is very reasonable. If highly sensitive nerve endings spread throughout the vagina, then the sexual intercourse process will be miserable and painful.

Therefore, when a foreign object is inserted into the vagina, pleasure mainly occurs in the sensitive area of ​​the vaginal opening.But as the stimulation is applied repeatedly, the area will become numb and the pleasure will weaken, so the moment of insertion is the most ecstasy.Therefore, during intercourse, the part can be stimulated intermittently, and it is advisable to shift attention to other sensitive areas of the body from time to time, and then apply stimulation after the part recovers to high sensitivity, so that women can experience the pleasure of the tide.

There are two sensitive parts of the vagina that also give pleasure when pressure is applied.One is the cervix, which is similar to a cone, connecting the vagina and the uterus, the upper end is connected with the uterine body, and the lower end goes deep into the vagina.Although there are no nerve endings on the cervix, the cervix is ​​highly sensitive to pressure or twitching.However, the pleasure of the cervix varies from person to person. Some women feel that the cervix is ​​uncomfortable or even painful when the cervix is ​​repeatedly poked. Some women think that rhythmic pushing can bring a very comfortable and pleasant feeling. A surefire way to orgasm.

Some women who have undergone a hysterectomy (removal of both the cervix and uterus) do report less arousal, orgasm, and pleasure during intercourse.But some women say hysterectomy didn't affect them at all.This may be because some people rely more on the stimulation of the cervix and the contraction response of the uterus during sexual intercourse.In the same way, some women will say that they don't care about "the size of the mouth", but if the woman happens to be in the "deep stimulation" camp, then she will not care.Some people do not hesitate to distort their bodies in order to achieve "deep stimulation", but there is no need for this.

Another sensitive area inside the vagina is the legendary G-spot:
I've slept with countless men in my life, probably hundreds.It's a pity that among so many people, only one knows my G-spot.Now I'm married and love my husband very much, but I can't forget that man and his amazing fingers!His touch was driving me crazy - no foreplay, nothing but him entering me over and over again.

—Heterosexual female, 50 years old

The G-spot was proposed by the German doctor Ernst Geffenberg. In memory of him, it is named after the first letter G of his surname: G-spot.What a happy man Geffenberg is to have his name used to refer to a part of a woman's body.How many men in the world have such a blessing? Where is the G-spot specifically, and whether there is even a G-spot?Not long ago, scientists from the University of L'Aquila in Italy said they had finally identified the mysterious G-spot through an experiment.A total of 20 women participated in the experiment.Scientists first used ultrasound technology to measure the size and shape of women's vaginal vestibular tissue (located between the vagina and urethra, inferred to be the G-spot).Then simply stimulate the women's vagina, and as a result, 20 of the 9 women achieved orgasm, while the other 11 did not achieve orgasm.Ultrasonic measurement results show that the anterior vaginal wall tissue of women who have reached orgasm is relatively thick, which shows that some women have dense nerve fibers in the anterior vaginal wall, forming a highly sensitive area, so it is easier to reach orgasm when the vagina is stimulated.

The best way for women to find the G-spot inside the vagina is with their fingers, preferably two or three.Then continue to stimulate the inside of the vagina vigorously, paying attention to the upward direction, that is, pointing directly to the direction of the navel.Some women mentioned that they felt the urge to urinate when they first touched the G-spot, but as the stimulation continued, the urge to urinate disappeared, followed by overwhelming pleasure.G-spot orgasms are more insane than clitoral orgasms.But for most women, it is more difficult to reach the G-spot orgasm, especially the male penis generally cannot accurately hit the women's G-spot.It is easier to achieve G-spot orgasm in back-entry or man-on-woman position.

Women have also talked about ejaculating when they reach a G-spot orgasm.Female ejaculation, commonly known as vaginal ejaculation or ejaculation, is a fluid that some women discharge from the urethra when they reach orgasm, but it's not just urine.Some sexologists believe that this fluid is secreted by Skene's glands (also known as paraurethral glands) located near the G-spot.But so far, this statement has not been strongly proved by the scientific community.

what is an orgasm

For men, the answer to this question is very simple and straightforward.From a physiological point of view, orgasm and ejaculation are not the same thing, but male orgasm is mainly manifested by ejaculation.If a man's penis becomes erect and begins to weaken after ejaculating from the urethral opening, then 100% of the time he has had an orgasm.This immediate physiological response makes it difficult for men to fake an orgasm.But women are different. The performance of orgasm is not easy to capture, so it is difficult to distinguish.It's not even possible to pinpoint when or if an orgasm occurs.In fact, many of the female patients received by sex experts do not know whether they have experienced orgasm.

(End of this chapter)