If you can love like this

Chapter 42

Love is proud, love is also blind, that's why we have fallen into this misery, and the pain after the injury is far more violent and lasting than we imagined.

Not long after Geng Mochi was admitted to the hospital, his managers Wei Minglun and Jin Yi rushed over from Shanghai. After his condition stabilized a little, Jinyi specially came to visit me at home and told me a lot about Geng Mochi.

On the sofa in the living room, Jin Yi held the tea I made for her and said slowly: "Kaoer, Mochi is very worried about you. You may not know that you were trapped in the car by heavy rain and almost died last time. In the few days when he was in a coma, Mochi was going crazy. He stayed in the hospital every day and no one could pull him away. Later, Milan went to fight with him. He returned to Shanghai after a big fight with Milan. He had no choice but to go back. He didn’t want Milan Harassing you. But not long after he went back, he drank alcohol all day to relieve anxiety and fell ill again. His condition was worse than the previous two times. After finally getting better, he clamored to go back to Star City. Darwin and I had headaches from his argument. Even though we were watching closely, he still secretly went to Flying Star City to see you in the middle of the night while the nurses were not paying attention, and he has always been worried about you."

I was stunned, "When?"

Jinyi thought for a while, "I saw your Weibo, it should be the day you and Mr. Qi flew the plane. When I saw the Weibo, Mochi had already gone to Star City, Darwin and I were going crazy, because His condition was so unstable that he ran away without any medicine."

"..." I was dumbfounded and speechless.There seemed to be a slight cracking sound in my ears, like a crack in the frozen river, and a swift river rushing in my heart. I only felt cold, so cold that my heart was constricting. It turned out to be that day!

"Kaoer, Mochi regrets what he has done, and he was also impulsive. Now that Mochi's condition is getting worse, Milan is still pestering him. I heard that she doesn't even go to work and stays in the hospital all day, isn't it? To take care of Mochi is to force Mochi to officially register for marriage with her, because only in this way can she justifiably claim the inheritance."

I gasped, this woman is crazy!

Jinyi choked up when she said this, "Mochi told me before I came to see you today that he deserved to be blamed. Kao'er, I'm not trying to excuse him, I just feel sorry for you. Bu Tiandi?"

Yes, how did we end up in this situation!I carefully recalled the ins and outs of the matter. When I quarreled with Geng Mochi, I forgot that he was a patient. I even forgot that I loved him. At that time, I didn’t think I still loved him. The only thing I knew was that I hated him. I hate him so much, I just want to return him the damage he gave me thousands of times, so I can say no matter how cruel I say.

This is love in hell!They clearly love each other but hurt each other. Both of them use love as a weapon to hurt each other. They are unscrupulous and indiscriminate.Love is proud, love is also blind, that's why we have fallen to such a miserable situation, and the pain after the injury is far more violent and lasting than we imagined.

A long time after Jinyi left, I was crying alone in the living room, and I didn't even know to turn on the lights when it got dark.The wind whistling outside the window was like the roar of the devil, and the boundless despair made me immerse myself in such sadness even in my dream.

The long night seemed to have elapsed for a century, and the dawn was late, and the sky over the city was filled with dark clouds.

I washed my face indiscriminately, and went to the hospital to visit Geng Mochi who had been transferred to the VIP ward.Because I heard Jin Yi say that he will go back to Shanghai for treatment soon, I don't know if I will see him again in this life, this farewell may be a forever farewell.

Geng Mochi's heart is overwhelmed and failing day by day. The ultimate treatment is heart transplantation, but this is not something that can be done with money alone. No one knows how long it will take to get a healthy heart with the right type .Jin Yi told me that the doctor had already sentenced Geng Mochi to death, even if he kept his current state and did not continue to deteriorate, his life would be extended by two to three years at most.In other words, if he can't wait for a heart transplant, he can only live for two or three years. Three years later, he will be 36 years old, and he will really follow in his father's footsteps.

"Kao'er, I'm afraid that day will come." Yesterday Jin Yi broke down in tears when he told me about this, "Go and see him, when I was talking to him on the phone, he kept talking about you, he said he was sorry you……"

Surprisingly, as soon as I got out of the elevator, I saw Milan talking with Geng Mochi's personal lawyer, Huang Zhong, in the corridor outside the ward. In order to avoid another conflict, I avoided the corner and did not let her see it.

Because it was a VIP ward area, the corridor was very quiet, and Milan's voice was transmitted verbatim, and I heard her question Lawyer Huang: "Why didn't you let me see the will? I am his wife, and I have the right!"

Lawyer Huang is not a vegetarian. Like Wei Minglun, he is also Geng Mochi's best friend. Because of this relationship, he has been Geng Mochi's personal lawyer for many years.I met him in Shanghai, he is very powerful, it is said that he is the leading lawyer in Shanghai, nicknamed "Tie Zui Huang".Facing Milan's aggressive questioning, he was neither humble nor overbearing, and answered impeccably: "Miss Mi, I'm sorry, I can't call you Mrs. Geng yet, because you just held a wedding with Mr. Geng, and you didn't go to the civil affairs department to go through the official marriage process." Procedures, that is to say, your marriage relationship is not recognized legally, even Mr. Geng himself does not recognize it. He always calls you his girlfriend, not his wife, so you have no right to ask about his will. Taking a step back, even if you are his wife, you cannot see the will without his permission, do you need me to explain further?"

"Your partner is playing tricks on me! I'm obviously married to him, why isn't he his wife? Isn't it just a piece of paper, I want him to register with me now!" Milan was furious when his wife's identity was revealed.

It seems that what Jin Yi said is right, Milan is now in a hurry to jump over the wall, and is in a hurry to realize Mrs. Geng's status.

I caught a glimpse of Lawyer Huang walking up to Milan, and his tone was neither polite nor forceful, "Miss Mi, please exercise restraint. This is a hospital. Mr. Geng is seriously ill now. If there is something wrong with him, It is of no use to you personally."

Milan's feet went out, so he had to stop again.

Lawyer Huang continued: "Miss Mi, you really make me feel very sorry. Mr. Geng is in such a serious condition now that he will be transferred to Shanghai for treatment. You don't care about his condition but miss his will. What do you think, Mr. Geng? Aren't you telling the world that you married him not because of love, but because of his property? Ms. Mi, he is not dead yet, even if he dies, the disposal of his estate will be handed over to Mr. The legal team appointed by him has full power to deal with it. If you really want to occupy a favorable position in the future inheritance distribution, I advise you to keep silent, otherwise, based on what I know about Mr. Geng, he will not give you a dime, you There is no way to appeal, understand?"

Milan was speechless.

"Now, please leave here. If you stay here for one more minute, Mr. Geng's condition will get worse. Mr. Geng already knew about the fact that you injured Miss Bai in the hospital last time. He was very angry. Aren't you Are you forcing him to leave you out of the list of heirs?" Huang Zhong deserved to be iron-tongued, and his aura was enough to shock the arrogant Milan.

Milan's voice suddenly dropped several degrees, "Then am I among the heirs, and where is it?"

Huang Zhong shrugged, "No comment."

"What about Bai Kao'er, is she among the heirs?"

Huang Zhong actually laughed, "Miss Mi, I think you are really a sentimental person. I really admire your courage to ask directly. As for whether Miss Bai is among the heirs, I also have no comment, but I can remind you A little bit is that your position in Mr. Geng's heart determines how much benefit you can get, so the most sensible thing for you now is to disappear in front of his eyes, especially not to provoke him, OK?"

"Did I provoke him? It's obviously Bai Kao'er who made him so angry. What does it have to do with me?"

"Please feel free, I have something else to do." Huang Zhong couldn't be bothered to pay attention to her anymore, and walked straight to the ward. After walking a long way, he turned his head, with a mocking smile on his lips, "Miss Bai can make Mr. Geng miss you so much, It is enough to show that her position in Mr. Geng's heart is irreplaceable, you should understand what I mean?"

As he spoke, he pushed open the door of Geng Mochi's ward and walked straight in.

Milan still stomped on the spot, "I don't believe it! I don't believe he will leave the inheritance to Bai Kao'er! What's so good about that bitch? She's the one who made Geng Mochi like this. Why should I blame her?" Over my head!"

The nurse on duty came out immediately and issued a warning: "Miss, please keep quiet. If you do this again, I will call the security. Don't I warn you a second time?"

Milan lost her demeanor and stood there with her face up and weeping. All the medical staff in the past showed contempt for her. In the end, she could only leave angrily, very embarrassed.

I knew from the beginning that there was no winner in this fight.We all thought that we were standing on such a righteous position, fighting for what we wanted, and doing everything with the determination to burn everything, but in the end we found that what we care about the most has never belonged to us.To fight, to fight, even to die, is just because of that unwillingness.

Milan is not reconciled, why not myself.

When I entered the ward, Huang Zhong was talking to Geng Mochi, as soon as I entered, they all looked at me in surprise.Huang Zhong greeted me very gracefully: "Miss Bai, you are here. Didn't you meet Miss Mi? She was outside just now."

"I didn't let her see me." I lowered my head, staring at the toe of my shoe, not daring to move forward.

"Mochi, then I'll go first, and I'll talk to you later." Huang Zhong got up to leave with great interest, nodded to me, and gently closed the door.Only Geng Mochi and I were left in the room, I lowered my head and still didn't move forward. "What are you doing standing so far away, I look tired, come here." Geng Mochi's voice sounded weak, "I won't eat you again."

"I'm sorry." I covered my mouth, and the unsatisfactory tears came as soon as I said it.

"Come here, let me see you, I'm leaving the day after tomorrow." Geng Mochi almost begged, "Let me see your face, it's all my fault for hurting you so badly, and it's me who should say I'm sorry. Kao'er , I always hurt you, no wonder you are getting farther and farther away from me, I obviously want to get closer to you, but I don’t know why I always push you farther and farther..."

I took a few steps forward, and then I saw him clearly, half lying on the bed in blue striped pajamas, his face was pale, and he looked very weak.The back of his hand was being infused, and an oxygen tube was being inserted under his nose. An electrocardiogram was placed beside the bed, and the undulating lines on the display showed that his life was still going on.I can't imagine if he really stopped breathing if he left these machines.This sick and weak man, he has been fighting with his own life, giving up all ways to save himself, but our love was incomplete from the beginning, fragmented from the beginning, destined to such a bleak end in the end.

"Don't cry, I don't want to see you cry. Come closer, I'm afraid I won't be able to see you if I blink my eyes. I wake up every morning and have to check whether I'm still alive. I'm gone, and I didn't even say hello to you. Thank you for coming to see me today, I have something to tell you, would you like to listen? "

I looked at him with tears in my eyes, "You need to rest now, let's talk later if you have something to say."

"In the future?" He trembled his lips, as if he wanted to laugh, but he couldn't force a smile, "How many futures can I have? After today, I don't know if there will be tomorrow. Kaoer, I'm really sorry. They all love you in their own way, but they always hurt you. You are right. I don’t know love, and I don’t deserve it, so I’m doomed to die alone. I’ve thought about it, and I’m all like this What are you doing dragging you after you look like this, so what if you are not reconciled, I can only live for so long, I can’t give you the happiness you want, so Kao’er, I decided to give you freedom, you can live the life you want, no matter what I don't have a problem with who you are with. Qi Shuli is right, to love someone is to make her happy, not to possess arrogantly..."

"Qi Shuli?"

"Well, he came to see me and said a lot to me. I agree with this sentence. So as long as you can be happy, I can let go of everything. It's just a pity that I may not see you happy. Now I really don’t have the face to express my regrets. After the wedding, Jin Yi told me that I would definitely regret it, but I didn’t expect the regrets to come so quickly. Every night I stand on the terrace on the side of the water and look at the scenery on the other side of the lake. Yalanju, I feel so sad... Oh, you don't know, I also bought the "On the Water Side" opposite Yalanju. I always hope to see the lights in your room on, but you never I haven't come back to live, those nights, you don't know how lonely I am, I think you must hate me, so you won't even give me a lamp..."

"Stop it, please stop it!"

"Come on, let me hold your hand..." He raised his hand tremblingly, and I realized that he had really lost a lot of weight, and the knuckles of his slender fingers suddenly bulged because of being too thin.He breathed hard, "I want to hold your hand, just for a while, for a while."

I walked to the side of the bed, stretched out my hand, and he grabbed me at once, tears rolled down his eyes, "Kaoer, I love you, remember that I love you, even if I have only one breath left, I still love you You. Thank you for walking with me on this journey. Although it was full of scars, you made me feel what true love is. Before I met you, I never loved other women except Jinyi, but I love Jinyi is not the same as loving you. A large part of my relationship with her is the family relationship cultivated since childhood, so I love you so unreservedly, until I die. Kaoer, I know you too Love me, don't you?"

His hands were as cold as iron because of the infusion, and the transparent liquid in the infusion tube could not give him the warmth of life.I bent down on his chest, hugging his weak body, weeping uncontrollably.

"Geng Mochi, I hate you! I hate you to death!" I couldn't say anything, I could only say hate.This hateful man fought with me with his life, until I risk everything to fall in love with him, but he wants to let go!If I had known it would be such an ending, I should have loved him well, let him, accommodated him, warmed him up and made him happy, but I don’t cherish it so much, not only do I not cherish it, but I also cruelly treat the hurt I have suffered Fight back to him, so let yourself completely fall into the abyss of eternal doom.

"I'm sorry, it's too late for me to love you well, it's too late." He stroked my hair, and up to now, he can only say such a sentence.

Two days later, I saw Geng Mochi off at the airport. I didn't even have the courage to give him a hug, because Milan was standing by his side, and I could only watch him get on the plane from a distance.I squatted by the glass curtain wall of the terminal and cried loudly, crying to the point of heartbreak.I was surrounded by sympathetic eyes, like a bird whose wings had been pulled out. He gave me freedom, but I was covered in bruises, and there was no possibility of flying ever since.He said that he wants me to pursue the life I want, but he never knows what the life I want.

After that, I no longer lived in my own apartment, but moved to Yalanju in spring on the other side.It's sad to think that my house was empty when he lived across the street, and when I finally turned on the light for him, his house was in darkness.

This is fate, I know there is more than just a lake between me and him.

But I still keep a small light in the bedroom every night, and I'm sure if he has a sense, he can see it.On the first night of living in Yalanju, I sent him a text message, "I will save the light for you, waiting for you to come back." Later, he replied a message with only one sentence, "Forget about me, take care of me. Life." Since then, no matter how many text messages I sent him, he never replied.I heard from Jinyi that he had an operation in Shanghai and is now recovering.

(End of this chapter)